


Treasure of the Galaxy

by Yarnforbrains



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Use of the Force, Aftercare, Daddy Dom Kylo Ren, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Good Old Fashioned finger bang, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Lies, Lots of Murder, Mildly Dubious Consent, Porn With Plot, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, glass cage of emotion, kill your enemies, kylo ren is a good dom, so many tears, there's actually a lot more fluff in here than I thought there would be, treat me like garbage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:52:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 90,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25680115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yarnforbrains/pseuds/Yarnforbrains
Summary: Become a spy and help Hux overthrow Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and possibly die or refuse and just plain old die?You weren't even supposed to have contact with him - just get the Kreliki Ambassadors interested enough to invite you back to their system for a little treason and espionage. But when Kylo sees your ritual performance at the SummittFall for Peace, he refuses to let you leave. He's possessive and psychotic, but you find yourself sucked into the vacuum of space that surrounds him. With Hux trying to throw a coup, and Kylo not satisfied until there is war, you just want to make it out alive.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 19
Kudos: 97





	1. Everything is Grey-t

The room was very _grey._ The wall paneling was grey; the metal desk was grey. The hanging lights felt grey and cold. A rumble sounded as the air duct above the desk began to blow icy air. Papers rustled on the desk. Whoever put the desk here clearly didn’t care about its occupant. And there was nowhere else in this cold, small, grey room where it could have gone. You were a bit surprised a man as important as this wouldn’t have been given a bigger office, but knowing him, you weren’t surprised he’d irritated his way into this small, grey box.

Your eyes circled the room. It was sterile. Not a single superfluous decoration. Just light grey walls with various pops of other shades of grey except for the man behind the desk. Even though he was dressed head to toe in black, he still felt cold and grey and severe. You sat patiently, waiting for him to speak. You suppressed the urge to sigh and roll your eyes. This was another attempt at bravado by a man who was too power hungry to ever achieve it.

“You know why you have been chosen for this mission, correct?” The sallowness of his skin and the sharp lines of his cheek cutting through to his jawline made him appear more menacing than he was. Armitage Hux should by all means be a terrifying man, but without his rage and his blaster, he wasn’t worth the effort it would take to eliminate him.

“My superiors have informed me, yes.” You held eye contact with Hux, wondering if he ever considered his eyebrows. They were awfully red and not very visible. They reminded you of Snoke’s botched face before Kylo Ren struck him down and took control of the First Order. They both made you feel uneasy.

“Very good. Now, have you been made aware of the ..sensitive nature of this mission?” He paused, tenting his hands together, leaning forward on his elbows. The drab light from above shadowed his face and hollowed his cheeks. He looked ill and a man obsessed. You traced the line of his steepled fingers down the bend of his wrists and down his arm, following the trim lines of his body back up to his face.

“Which part? The treason or the threat to my life?” Your eyes remained stoic as you delivered a wide smile. You demurely cross your legs at your ankles and smoothed the floor length skirt. You wish you could say it wasn’t out of nervousness, but you didn’t like or trust the man as far as you could throw him, and you were pretty sure you could get some distance if you tried. You tucked your left hand into the pocket of your dress and squeezed the pair of tangled dice into your palm, pulling strength from the bite. You took a deep breath and scratched your nails across the symbols stamped on them.

Hux cleared his throat and tugged down the bottom of his waistcoat. “Well, we all have to do our part for the First Order. It would be a such a shame to die before reaching our full potential “

Your eyes dropped to the shiny metal legs of the desk, followed them down to the short grey carpet someone had thrown down over the cold, grey floor. Hux was still speaking, droning on in hypotheticals about all of the horrible possibilities that would hypothetically happen if you failed your mission. His voice held such a tart tone.

“...you’ll do your little dance thing and then go back to Krelik. You will remain there and deliver information back to me - and only me. “ His whining accent brought you back to the present. “Don’t look so bored, darling.” Hux leaned back in his chair and folded his legs over each other, stretching back, hands interlocked behind his head. He was a cocky and unpredictable bastard. The only thing you trusted about him was that he would fuck you over. Your eyes found a small white fuzz ball on the cuff of his pants; you watched him pluck it off and drop it to the floor as if it were pure filth. You twisted the hidden dice in your hand again.

“Armitage, dear“ you plastered the smile back onto your face, ever accommodating. You waited until you had his eyes to continue. Even the man’s eyes were a boring, pale, steely grey. “It sounds a lot like you’re asking me to prostitute myself at Summitfull for Peace in order to get invited back to Krelik to spy on them - oh, and then to use my pussy to suck state secrets out of whoever you think might be most likely to spill them.”

  
There was no sarcasm in your voice, but it dripped sickly sweet. You leaned forward in your chair, scooting to the edge of the seat, inching closer to Hux as he leaned in towards you. You fixed your eyes to his as you drew him into your mind space. His chest began to rise faster. Your faces were so close, you could feel the damp of his breath across your lips. Neither one of you moved. He should have expected this. You rolled your eyes internally.

“You know,” he rasped, rubbing the edge of his lips across yours. His breath smelled like stale, bitter coffee. “You could also use your mouth.” _Repulsive_. He chuckled at his own cleverness and drew away from you, slinking back into his seat. “Just stay away from Kylo Ren.”

This man was a festering wound.

“I have no desire to place myself near our Supreme Leader. I don’t think I can hide from him.” Your brow furrowed as you slumped into your chair, defeated.” You have to keep me safe, Hux. I’m no good to you dead. That’s the deal.”

A scraggly smile crept across his face. His eyes did not receive it.

“You’re in no place to make demands, darling.”

“Master,” you interrupted him. “You will address me with my title: Master.” His eyebrow ticked up.

“Whatever. Fine. Master,” he waved away your hard earned honorific as he continued. “Just stay away from him. I’ll worry about that. Kylo Ren will be his own downfall. If he’s left in command, the whole Order will fall. I will not allow that idiot, simpering child to ruin it.” You watched Hux’s face shift back and forth from incandescent rage to controlled dissociation. He was insane. He had to be clinically insane.

“Right. Okay then, Hux. Tonight we dance.” You nodded curtly, stood and turned, facing another cold grey wall, you walked through the dull, grey door into the hazily lit hallway of the the Fervor and hoped to avoid its Commander. Crushing the dice in your hand, you were reluctant to admit you weren't feeling very lucky.


	2. The Art of the Eyebrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best laid plans...am I right?

It was the first day of the SummittFall for Peace between the First Order and the Kreliki system. The planet of Krelik was the newest asset the First Order was trying to peacefully absorb after the decimation of the Rebel Alliance. The military peace that had been forged in the draconian war was delicately balanced on the head of Kylo Ren and his mood swings. He still wanted to expand his kingdom, but his reputation amongst the Kreliki meant they distrusted him. They were a traditional and self-righteous system that valued integrity and honor and would not hesitate to incite war if their people demanded it - even knowing they would be slaughtered. Hux was attempting to convince both parties that an alliance between them was amenable when what was truly being offered was the chance to surrender. Galaxies all around knew that Kylo had snuffed the fire of revolution, and they were afraid what it would mean should the spark ignite again. 

The day had been extremely long and exceptionally tedious. An endless sea of new faces, forced smiles and laughing at jokes that weren’t actually funny because that’s what you do when you meet someone and need them to like you. Luckily, the first impressions that had been made had helped reduce their fear of Kylo Ren. The Krelikis were most concerned in the preservation of their society and history, and- for better or worse- Kylo had made it very clear that he really didn’t care about their way of life as long it did not interfere with his. 

As the day drew to an end, the group of assembled dignitaries, economists, representatives, and military leaders of both sides all joined in a meal and display of various acts of entertainment from worlds belonging to The First Order. There had been a choral group from Antos, a circus act from Le Qao, and other random groups performed like an elementary school pageant, showcasing just how dignified and refined The First Order was. 

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren sat the head of the table, slouched in his chair, swirling the liquid in the heavy glass around and around. Food had been long cleared away and formalities had been swept aside. He was bored out of his mind and wondered how long much longer he had to sit through this ridiculous variety show.

“Oh, come now, Commander,” Hux goaded. He turned towards Kylo and watched him slam his drink back, drain it, and drop it on the table. Kylo’s eyes shot over to him, “just, maybe try to look a little less...miserable?” Cringing inside at his own back peddling, he tugged at the edge of his sleeves and took a sip of his own drink. Good Gods, this Kreliki wine was absolutely awful. The Commander may have had the right idea tossing it back. He shivered back a grimace. 

Kylo arched his brow in amusement as he fielded an offhand question from the someone to his left. 

“Oh come on. I’m quite pleased with myself. I managed something quite miraculous, and I think everyone will love it. Even you.” Hux smiled to himself, internally squealing with glee. This would work. The Kreliki would unknowingly be helping Hux stage a coup. He would use the intelligence you gathered to force them to support his mutiny. The First Order could not be destroyed like a comm console that had fallen victim to the Supreme Leader’s unmanaged emotional maelstroms. Since rebuilding his lightsaber, the technical teams found themselves in quarters repairing surprise damage no one was brave enough to talk about - except Armitage Hux. 

“I promise you will absolutely love it. I heard a rumor that the Order of Te’Ka had ordained a new Master.” Self satisfied, Hux smiled to himself again, practically preening. 

“Is that why you’re positively giddy?” a rare, dimpled smile from Kylo as he straightened in his chair and leaned in towards Hux. 

Immediately stilling, “quite,” he answered, still smiling like only one can do when holding onto a secret the other doesn’t know about. 

“I thought the last one died a few years ago?”

  
“No, that’s not true. So - you’ll appreciate this, Kylo - sorry - _Supreme Leader_ ,” he corrected himself quickly. However, the fascination in Hux’s voice was genuine. “It turns out there was a connection that you should be invested in. I found the girl through a connection of your father’s,” The rage that incited in Ren exploded immediately in a tangible wave. “Crimson Dawn. You remember them, don’t you?” He didn’t wait for a response, choosing to ignore the Commander’s response or lack thereof. . “We took down some two-bit smuggler who sold out so on and so forth - oh, you know how those things go,” Hux quickly glossed over some of the major details “ - and it turns out there was a small sect of the Order that had been moved under protection of Lady Qi’ra of Crimson Dawn out in the forests of Dathomir.”Hux was gushing, omitting details left and right as he waved an officer over and gave the order for you to start.

As the lights started dimming and the din of men gave way to the lazy notes of your music, you rolled your ankles and shook out your wrists. Of every part of your training, this was the one you had struggled with the most. The Order of Te’Ka ‘s offering of ritual dances pulled and drained you mentally. The legends credited the ancient dances with preventing wars, and their performance was as good as a vow of peace. Histories passed down alleged the power of peace came through forced mental silence the dancer created. No one knew if it was mind control or the Force or simply the allure of a rolling hip, however it seemed everyone in the galaxy had their origin stories of its power. 

You stepped through into the light and began absorbing all the noise in the room. You sensed it and strengthened and lengthened your body in the familiar moves. The fabric of your sleeves trailed your movements like the whisper of an echo. The tempo increased and you withdrew the weapons slung on your hips, punctuating the movement with the elongation of your leg and arm, rolling them out towards the crowd and then folding back in on yourself. You could see the faces of the crowd momentarily as they flashed, activating with a low, metallic hum. As you swung the blades, they droned in harmony with the music and movement of your body. The room was dark, and its occupants went silent for the first time that day. You scanned the crowd as best you could, using the illuminated wake of the sabers to guide your gaze. No one you recognized. You hoped Hux had been successful in keeping the Supreme Leader occupied. You didn’t feel him. You didn’t feel anyone. You just kept moving, twisting, rising and falling through the ritual steps. As the final notes rang, you lowered into a bow, posed with lit sabers inches from your face. You held your quiet mind firm as it started screaming under strain.

_He is here._

Powering the sabers down, you stood and backed your way out of the room as quickly as grace would allow. Free from their eyes, you snuck through the back of the staging area and into your grey walled dressing room. Internally screaming at the pain in your head, you tossed the metal shafts on the small table shoved against the wall, cluttered with all your things. With a deep and heavy gasp, releasing the mental hold of the room as you flopped onto the stiff, grey couch. As quickly as it hit, the pain disappeared. Panting, you threw your arms over your eyes and hoped to catch your breath.

But as expected, you weren’t able to. Your breath still hadn’t slowed to normal when a sharp, short knock sounded before it quickly slid open and closed. Hux blew through the doorway and draped himself backwards against it, and you watched, wondering if the door would slide open again and if he would fall.

_Why isn’t he falling?_

Your exhausted mind was too focused on finding an answer, and you had missed the first of whatever Hux had been saying. You groaned as you pulled yourself up to seated, trying to focus his rapid words. His eyes were open wide with enthusiasm, hair falling out of place as he bobbed his head in emphasis. You reeled backwards, pushing into the back of the seat as he crossed the small room with exaggerated strides. He grabbed your upper arms in his hands. They were about as cold as you had expected and slightly damp.

_He feels like a dead body covered in dew._

He turned your body to face his as he flopped down beside you on the couch. The vibrancy of memory cut you back to the present.

“Gods, you were the best idea I have ever had. Wonderful. Just wonderful.” He squeezed your arms hard in his zeal.

You jerked your arms away from him and flung yourself to standing, still cloudy minded and just really quite tired. This seemed to break the spell that his self congratulations had cast, and he brought himself back to the present. He inhaled sharply, stood abruptly and tugged his tunic down.

“Right,” he assured himself as he composed himself. A sharp exhale punctuated the shift in the calm dissociation he was known for. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing the bright copper strands that had fallen back into place. His fingers left neatly combed rows. Mirroring his exhale with one of your own, you lowered your arms back to your side and shook off the fog. This was the aftermath of the ritual dances. The dancing wasn’t the hard part; it was the burden of carrying the heavy minds of those in attendance. And - of course - Hux had invited half of the fucking galaxy to the SummitFall.

“Come,” an order. “ Your adoring fans want to meet you,” condescending Hux was back. Your eyes rolled involuntarily. 

“No, I need a few,” you tried to fold your arms over your chest, but the gauzy fabric of your sleeves floated in the way, and your hands couldn’t find purchase in the corners of your elbows. You dropped them back to your hips.

_How is there no water in this room?_

You looked around, distracted again. Ignoring a very unamused Hux, you walked back over to the couch, reaching beside it into your satchel and pulling a beverage out. You twisted the top open and pulled a few hungry sips, gasping as you pulled your mouth away. 

  
Hux sighed.

 _So much dramatic breathing,_ you chuckled at your own thoughts. You think you heard your name. You listened again. He was looking at you, head cocked to the side, eyebrow raised. Hux had said your name twice.

“What?” you knew that look. “I’m not crazy, Hux.” He didn’t try to hide his amusement. He clearly thought you were crazy. “I just need a couple of minutes. I can’t explain it, but it’s exhausting... I need a few. I can’t do this if I’m not - I need to change out of this thing. Get out.” 

His eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m not losing it.”

Brows shot back up.

“Stop using your eyebrows!” Your fists balled and you stood straight, like a child in tantrum.

He was biting back a smile. You got mad.

”And you said he wouldn’t be there. You should know better than anyone else how hard it is to ignore him trying to get in your brain!”

“Right.” His damn eyebrows again. “I’m going to stand outside. You have five minutes. I don’t care what you do, just get it together.” He spoke to you in a toner softer than you’d thought him capable of, but it was far from comforting. A quick glance into his eyes confirmed the threat. This must be the same voice he used on skittish soldiers and Supreme Leaders alike, but for different reasons. He hid it in his eyes. 

You nodded in agreement and he left. You allowed yourself a few more moments of dramatic breathing before starting to change. Now for the hard part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I know there's a lot of non-canonical stuff but it you could just canon-on-i-not with your disbelief, that would be super great. I know this is plot heavy, but I promise the goods are coming!


	3. An Unexpected Delight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which you meet the Supreme Leader and immediately contemplate spontaneous combustion or being swallowed whole by the ground.

The door slid open with a woosh. Hux was standing directly across from you, arms folded across his chest, one knee bent and his boot against the wall. The same loose hairs that had escaped before had escaped again. He looked you up and down like he was inspecting you for flaws but must have been satisfied. You had changed back into your normal uniform. Self conscious under his gaze, you smoothed your hands down the sides of the long sleeved, crew collared, simple dress. Your left hand skimmed over the subtle bump of the dice tucked into your pocket. The full skirt of the dress swung lazily against your legs as you clutched the fabric in your hands.

_Why were they so sweaty already?_

  
Hux stood to attention and offered his arm in a rather perfunctory way. You tucked your hand into his elbow and allowed him to lead you back out to the crowd, and you found yourself digging your nails in his arm. It was loud. He placed his other hand on yours, patting it, then squeezing it reassuringly as you relaxed your grip. All without looking at you. It was almost a kindness. You watched his profile as he slicked his hair back again.

_He might be attractive if he was less of an asshole._

He failed to choke back a laugh as you told him.

_Wait, are those dimples?_

“Yes, I’m aware. And yes, there are two” he teased, showing you both as he maneuvered you through the crowd. You both smiled and greeted people as you passed through. Hux showed you off like a trophy; you were cordial and interested in everything everyone had to say. You were both diplomatic and kind. You found yourself drawing back into your own thoughts as Hux preened and basked in his own glory. You were wholly uninvested in anything that was happening around you. It felt like dancing as you were swung through the group by him, and brought back to the present by his hand forcefully gripping your elbow. You furrowed your brow in objection and tried to discreetly take your arm from him. He was saying something to you, but you only knew it because his mouth was moving, but you couldn’t hear his words. You looked away from him as the sound was vacuumed out of the room. Your eyes snapped to the source. You knew it was Ren.

_This must be the Force._

His presence was suffocating and overwhelming and threatening

  
Your senses stopped cooperating with you. You could see the men walking towards you, but even though you recognized the Kreliki Ambassadors, their presences weren’t registering. You could hear the sounds of the gathering dying down, but you couldn’t make sense of whatever was being said. You prayed another smile was the right response, and dug for what you hoped was a wide and welcoming one. As you did, the wave of what you assumed was the Force flickered, and you remembered to breathe. You blinked several times, hoping to blink away the blanket of whatever it was that was trying to suffocate you. You became aware that Hux was introducing you to the Ambassador.

_The Ambassador/_

The one you were supposed to be trading the secrets of your body with for secrets of their country. You tamped down your brain and made yourself focus on what was being said and ignore whatever was pouring off the Supreme Leader as he stood to the side. Hux made no effort to include his superior in the conversation. Ren didn’t try to join in, standing just outside the group. Maintaining a hold on your mental walls, you chanced a glance at him out of the corner of your eyes while you smiled again at whatever the Ambassador and Hux were laughing at

He was staring at you. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren was staring at you, and he was glorious to look at. His lips were gently pursed, forming a pouty little “o.” Your eyes traced along the hollow of his cheeks and cut across their bones and over the kinked knot of his nose. You wondered how many times it had been broken. Your eyes jumped to the silvered streak of scar falling diagonally across his face, pinged against the freckles around it and landed on his eyes. There was nothing there. He was watching you through long and sweeping lashes, corners of his eyes crinkling as he studied you for a few long beats then moved to join your group.

Your eyes snapped to the floor involuntarily. You felt what you assumed was the Force withdraw at the same time two shiny, black boots entered your sight line.

_So very shiny._

“Well, that was an unexpected delight. Thank you for your performance.” 

_Shit_

That was definitely meant for you. You dragged your gaze up, not realizing you were ogling him as your eyes tried to focus as you followed the length of his legs up over his torso to his face. His face remained impassive. You felt the other members of your group turn to you.

_Double Shit._

They were waiting on you to respond.

_Shit shit shit._

You dropped into a demure semi-curtsy before realizing you were actually curtsying. Were you supposed to curtsy?

_Please burst into flames. Please burst into flames._

You wished you could will your spontaneous combustion into reality, but when willpower failed you, you simply smiled like an idiot and gave a robot reply about how it was your pleasure. And then promptly looked anywhere that wasn’t him. Luckily for you, the Ambassador launched into another round of conversation. You found yourself struggling to stay engaged and only passably acting so. Your focus was held by the sense of unease at your side. It nipped at you like Hux’s hand had earlier.

_Back the kriff off, for the love of the Order._

You found yourself mentally cursing the one person who would kill you for your thoughts because he probably could actually hear them. 

_“My apologies,”_ the sound of his graveled voice in your head had you whipping around to face him head on. He smirked as if he’d just discovered long hidden secrets, and the dark pool of his eyes flashed with something you knew wouldn’t be good for you. 

“Will we get to see more of you later?” The Ambassador’s heavily accented Basic begged your attention back to the present. Smiling placatingly for the thousandth time, you pulled your eyes from Kylo’s and opened your mouth to respond, but weren’t the one who spoke

“No,” the firm response was said with the authority of a complete sentence. Your eyes shot to Hux, and you watched him set his jaw. A couple of beats passed as you watched him grind his teeth and bite his tongue. You considered reaching over and placing a hand on his wrist but immediately thought better of it. You settled for folding your hands together in front of you and staring at them. Still, no one said anything.

“Thank you, Ambassador,” you looked back up at him through your lashes, head still bowed. “I would be honored to perform the ritual again to celebrate the alliance between the First Order and the Kreliki System.” You answered back calmly, hoping to retain some form of the plan Hux had laid out. A sharp inhale of breath from Hux. You realized too late that you had just overridden the Supreme Leader. “..that is, if our Supreme Leader would be so gracious as to indulge us,” you tried to correct your misstep.

_Shit._

You chanced a look at The Supreme Leader’s face. The stoney look on it made it fairly obvious that he would not be indulging any of you. You darted your eyes back to your hands. 

“Yes, that is a wonderful idea,” Hux emphatically interjected, drawing everyone’s gaze and the heat of Kylo Ren’s. “Perhaps you can join us tomorrow and answer all of the Ambassador’s questions?” It was less of a suggestion and more of a mandatory compromise. You saw Kylo give a clipped nod. You internally sighed and felt it in your muscles. The two started making plans that included you - without you - for the next day as if you weren’t standing close enough to smell the acrid scent of alien drink on their breaths. 

“...and then you have to come let us show you our home,” your ears perked up as you heard the Ambassador’s invitation. Again you opened your mouth to reply, but the Supreme Leader’s voice sounded instead.

“No. She stays with us.” There was no inflection in his voice. Another non-negotiable. His voice was as big as he was, and you found yourself sinking into the tarpit pools of his eyes again.

_No eye contact ._

You chided yourself and looked back to your now worrying hands.

“Would you like to come see the Falls of Hnoriak? Or the Temple of Verda? The Reflecting Pool at the capital building is infamous..” The Ambassador chose to ignore Kylo and ask you directly. Unsure how to answer, you looked to Hux for help. Again, he just clenched his jaw.

_I wonder if he gets a lot of headaches_.

“You cannot separate the treasure of a galaxy from her people. She stays.”

Silence. The Ambassador joined you in looking at Hux for answers. The Ambassador’s narrowed eyes were marked in displeasure. You wondered if the conspiracy between them was as obvious to everyone else as it was to you. You swallowed hard, forcing thoughts of what sick and twisted shit Hux would do to you from mind. This wasn’t just a kink in the plan. This _was_ the plan. Awkward silence sat between your group for several elongated seconds.

“It appears my people need me here,” you delicately cleared your throat and answered. You waited for the ground to swallow you whole, and cursed it when the floor remained as solid under you as it had been all day. You wondered if you looked as askew as you felt, and moved your hands behind your back and picked at your fingers subconsciously. 

The Ambassador acquiesced and bared his teeth in a terrible and thin attempt at a smile. He bowed slightly to you and turned to Hux and made his excuses to retire for the evening. His request for Hux to escort him to his quarters was decidedly not a request. As the two men and entourage retreated out of the room, you stood rooted in place, still waiting for the ground to open up on you. Instead, you felt the air particles surrounding you pop as Kylo moved to stand immediately beside you. More awkward silence. You blanked your mind, focusing on his overwhelming presence.

“I would have gone.” You had intended the words to be strong, but they were carried on an unstable half whisper. You choked a sharp inhale of breath. Your senses betrayed you again. A clean but heavy scent tangled its way into your space. A man known for death and violence should not smell this good.

_Cotton, leather, spice. Authority._

You resisted the urge to wrap your arms around yourself and worry your thumb in your mouth, but failed to suppress a shiver as another wave of _Him_ surrounded you, holding you like gravity. Your eyes fluttered shut without your permission. The space around you yielded to his as he bent to give his mouth to your ear. You fought the desire to tilt your neck to him vulnerably. Thick tufts of his glorious hair fell into yours as he shifted, and the tips of your shoulders were teased by the ends. 

“I wouldn’t have let you.” The depth of his voice scratched into your skin, and the heat of his breath warmed and chilled you. He drifted back, straightening again. He took his gravity with him, and you stumbled as if he had been holding you up. He chuckled at your reaction, but you couldn’t be bothered by it. You were transfixed and unfocused, staring at a dropped red linen napkin on the grey floor a few steps ahead as he left. As his words registered, you snapped your eyes up to find him, but he was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. More plot. Stay with me.


	4. One Sugar, No Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you and Kylo Ren share a sunrise and a cup of coffee

You woke slowly. You’d expected to be able to fall asleep easily like you normally did after the ritual, but even though your mind had been exhausted from the strain of exertion, it kept caught itself in a loop of Kylo Ren’s voice.

_You cannot separate the treasure of a galaxy from her people._

You stretched, elongating your arms and legs into points. You groaned into your stretch and then in complaint you heard the bell from the door buzz. 

“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” You cursed aloud, throwing the covers back and a long robe over your sleep tunic. You shoved your messy hair out of your face, and tucked yourself into the robe. “Five o’clock in the damn morning. I swear to Gods, Hux…” you trailed off under your breath as you slapped your hand on the wall pad to unlock and open the door. 

“Oh,” that was unexpected. That was not Armitage Hux at all. Your hand fell to your side as your guest stood at attention in your doorway. “Um, hi?”

_Were all men in the First Order so unnecessarily tall?_

The masked face started straight ahead. He was dressed sharply in his black uniform of sorts. Besides his height, the only thing out of the ordinary looking about him was the helmet. His head was covered entirely, with a slit for eyes, a cross hatched grid of lines intersected it.

_Like a pan of brownies._

His helmet looked like a pan of brownies, sliced and ready to be shared. But this man did not look like the kind of person who would share anything, let alone brownies. 

“Get dressed. The Supreme Leader wants you for breakfast.” He motioned towards you with his chin, and you cringed inwardly at his choice of words.

_Was it intentional? It had to be intentional. Definitely wasn't necessary. I guarantee you that._

You reached for the sides of your robe and enveloped yourself in it, hiding your legs from his eyes. He straightened his gaze and stepped in uninvited. Your eyes followed his as you watched him scan your quarters. 

Even though everything in here was grey too, it was warmer than the offices and meeting rooms. There was nothing special about it: blue-grey walls with thick rugs underneath the desk and berth. Your performance dress was neatly hung in the doorless closet, lined up with your everyday high collared, long sleeved and skirted dresses that you accepted with your training. Your sensible, flat soled ankle boots were lined up neatly against the back of the closet; your floppy canvas satchel in a sagging pile next to them. 

Outside the ship’s small window, the line of three small suns were crowding the outline of the home planet of Krelik. Just below the surface of the horizon, the yellow, purple and pink stars blurred their glows together. It was beautiful. The glow backlit the planet and crept into your room. Under the window, your tablet sat next to a small figurine of the Goddesses and her prayer candles. Beside those, the intricately carved filigree case that held the weapons used in the dance. 

The man cleared his throat. You had both been caught up in the hazy lights and the grogginess that seeing sunrise brought. You wondered if he had been awake all night or had been forced to wake up early like you.

“I need to pray and dress.” You turned to him, extending your arm to the door. Brownie-face did not move. Arm still extended, you motioned again with your hand towards the door. When he made no effort to leave, you dropped your arm, letting it whack into your thigh. With a measured inhale, you sat back down on the bed, tucking one leg under you and letting the other dangle over the edge. You reached for the dice on the nightstand and fiddled them between your fingers, rolling them into your palm. You could wait for him to leave.

“You can walk and pray,” was his curt response. Understanding dawned on him as he turned to wait outside. Once he was gone, you jumped up from the bed and slammed the door pad lock. You rushed over to the refresher for your necessities, cursing yourself as your toothpaste fell off the brush as the water ran over it. 

_That’s a great sign for today,_ you thought, as if being woken by a Knight of Ren wasn’t enough of a clue. You twisted your hair back into a thick bun at the top of your head and donned your dress, hoping the thick jersey was enough to keep you in the background of the day. You kissed the statuette, placing it gently back onto the table, swiped the dice back off the table and pocketed them into their home in your left pocket.

  
As you left your quarters, you found Brownie standing comfortably at attention. You nodded to him and followed behind as he started down the corridor. Intrinsically you knew the base was a large ship, but its scale hadn’t really registered. Neither of you said anything as he guided you through junctions and up a lift towards what you had assumed would be the meeting areas. By the looks of the storm troopers and officers starting to walk past you, you realized you had been wrong. A sudden dread dropped to the bottom of your stomach.

_Quarters. Crew Quarters._

The sounds of breakfast jingled in as you followed past what you assumed was the crew gallery. You felt everyone’s eyes as you moved past, but you weren’t entirely sure if they were looking at you or looking away from the Knight. You kept following the large man down more corridors, counting the turns. After two lefts, he stopped in front of a lift and waved his wrist in front of the data pad to call it to service.

_How were you supposed to stomach breakfast? Would it be rude not to eat? Oh god, he’s going to read my mind, and I’m going to be breakfast._

Your mind worried you along as you stepped into the lift.

You chanted your prayers, mouthing the words, tenting your fingers to your lips and trailing behind the Man as he led you down another corridor. As you reached the end of your prayer and the hallway, he stopped in front of a nondescript door. You knew that even though it looked just like the others, it was _who_ was on the other side that made you nervous. Looking around at the other doors on the corridor, you wondered where Hux’s room was. Any thought was a welcome distraction at this point. 

The man used his magic wrist to open the door. Whatever you were expecting, it wasn’t _this._ This looked like a normal room. There was an entry table with a half full glass of water and a discarded pen tossed onto it. A mirror hung on the wall, framed by two curved metal sconces. You nervously smoothed your hands down your body as you watched your own reflection. 

Through the entryway, the wall opened up onto floor to ceiling windows. The suns had moved higher and you squinted against their light. The Knight guided you through the foyer and under an arched doorway into a larger open room. You were having trouble reconciling such a _normal_ looking room with what you knew about the Supreme Leader. There was a sitting area filled with dark, overstuffed leather couches and a large viewing screen at one end of the room. A heavy, wooden table with clawed feet had been placed in front of the panoramic window that stretched this wall, too. Kylo Ren stood near a dark stained buffet, filling a white mug with steaming liquid.

 _Oh, thank the Maker. Coffee._

“Vicrul,” was the only acknowledgement Kylo Ren made to the Knight, who only nodded once, turned and left. And now you were standing alone in Kylo Ren’s quarters. With him. Watching him stir sugar into his coffee. His ungloved hands dwarfed the spoon as he swirled it in the cup. You weren’t sure why you had expected his hands to be smooth and unmarked. The long fingers were long, but knuckles were scabbed and several cuticles were red and cracked. It was the clink of the spoon against the mug that brought you back to attention. You caught each other staring at the same time and immediately dropped your eyes. You still weren’t sure if eye contact was disrespectful or not. You made a mental note to ask Hux later. 

“It’s not.” Kylo answered your thoughts aloud. Your surprise had you placing your mental walls up in reaction. He regarded you, almost amused, and sat down at the table. The invitation was unsaid. You were ushered forth by the Force towards the seat to his right. You smiled tightly and smoothed your skirt as you sat down. The table was tall, and you perched your feet on the bottom rung to keep them from dangling. You looked back at his hands as he warmed them on the ceramic mug. The mug looked miniaturized in them just like the spoon had. It suddenly occurred to you that you now knew how Kylo-freakin’-Ren took his coffee. 

“Just a little sugar. I like a little something sweet in the mornings,” He set the cup down without taking a sip. You swallowed.

_This isn’t good._

You cleared your throat and twisted your hands in your skirt under the table. Whether you died here now or later, we were going to die at some point. “...it’s generally considered poor taste to read someone’s thoughts when they’re actively trying to keep you out of their head…”

_Yup. You were gonna die right here, right now._

You hadn’t expected to hear him chuckle. You looked away from the cup and to his face. He had dimples like Hux, but his were wider and deeper. 

“It’s rude to try to keep me out,” he answered back, no longer smiling. His eyes burned into yours, eye contact not wavering as he brought the cup to his lips and drank.

_Oh, sweet Goddesses of the Order_.

You made the mistake of looking at his mouth. A drop of coffee spread across the seam of his lips. His beautiful, pillowed lips. 

“For someone insisting on privacy, you aren’t trying very hard to keep your thoughts to yourself.” The edges of his mouth ticked up in amusement. You looked back into his eyes. Something was there, but it wasn’t amusement.

“Oh, sir,” you sighed, “If you only knew, “ You squirmed in your seat and looked back to your hands wringing in your lap.

“I do,” You couldn’t tell if he was making a joke or not, but you weren’t chancing looking back up at him. You studied the table instead. Set on it were his large, black gloves. They looked soft; the stitching on the seams so fine only a canyon of shadow existed between the cuts of leather. Next to those, a few thin data pads and the heavily hilt of his light saber. 

“You would die before you finished the thought” His voice was low and rumbled in threat as he interrupted your thoughts. 

Embarrassed, you shot your eyes at him. The threat seemed more of a hollow gesture than a more. 

“Are you so sure you can read all of my thoughts? Don’t you think I could find yours?” If he hadn't killed you yet, you might as well ask your questions. You weren’t sure of the _why_ of _what_ was happening _was happening_. You knew that he was using the Force to read your thoughts, but even after all the years of training you had, you still weren't exactly sure how it worked or if it was the same thing that happened when you danced.

“No,” he interrupted your thoughts again. He pushed himself away from the table and stood quickly, going back to the buffet. Using miniature versions of normal serving utensils, he began making a plate of fruit. You shook your head at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

“Why?” you asked automatically. He motioned towards a mug with his giant hand. You thought about how you liked your coffee, and watched curiously as he served you.

“Because - if you could, you'd be blushing,” he stepped towards your chair. He was standing beside you, delivering another devastating line with the same dry tone. You blushed anyways, feeling the warmth inside of you spreading past the neckline of your dress and tingeing your cheeks. You didn’t try to hide it as he placed the mug directly in front of you. You inhaled through your nose and thanked him in a clear voice. He sat back down and watched you take a sip of too hot coffee. 

“Why are you blocking me out?” The man kept staring at you. Because you didn’t know what else to do, you took another sip of scalding coffee and regretted it instantly. “Let me in, Treasure” his deep voice purred as he demanded eye contact again. 

That broke your attention. “That’s not my name. Please do not call me that.” the scalded taste buds on your tongue stung as you spoke.

“I can call you whatever I want,” was his mature taunt. Instead of replying, you hid your hands in your lap again and sat quietly. Kylo regarded you for a moment before reaching for a data pad, swiping it on and standing it up on the table in front of him. You watched his hands poking at the screen, ignoring you as you ignored him. You sat in silence and watched him as he worked with one hand and ate with the other. 

“I can’t hear minds. I can just shut them down.” He stilled. “And I don’t know how to shut mine down. I just have thoughts that are too big to force past,” the silence compelled you to say something. Being ignored by Kylo Ren was more nerve wracking than holding his attention. You watched as he put whatever was speared onto his fork into his mouth. Your face went tight as you heard his teeth scrape the metal. He raised an eyebrow and kept eating.

“You’re less...,” your hand came out from under the table and gestured vaguely in his direction, “...less _big_ today.”

His chewing stopped and he swallowed. You saw his eyebrows raise again. You took this as an instruction to continue, “you’re also slightly less terrifying.” you smiled and shrugged one shoulder. His brow furrowed. You stopped talking immediately and shoved your hand back into your lap.

_This is great. This is going great. I am going to die._

You sat in awkward silence again as he ate another berry, staring at his jaw as he chewed. For the thousandth time you forgot he could hear your thoughts. You blushed again and wished the floor had swallowed you last night like you had asked because then the most deadliest man in the galaxy wouldn’t know how much you wanted to taste the berry juice on his lips. 

“Can you tell me why I’m here?” you boldly asked. All around you, the room was growing in brightness as the suns broke free from behind the planet. They backlit you both and threw a shadowed scene long across the room. Every minute you spent with this man was a minute you spent in danger. This was absolute insanity, and his only responses to anything you’d been saying had been to move his eyebrows at you. 

“Oh, for the love of…” you stood up abruptly, wanting to leave. “..does anyone in control of this thing actually talk or do you and Hux just wiggle your eyebrows instead?”

_That was foolish._

Your knees locked together, and you stood still. Kylo’s presence spilled into the space around you. You swallowed hard, watching him slowly stand. He dropped the napkin from his lap onto the seat and came to stand next to you. You felt the tip of his boots nudge the side of yours. You only came to his clavicles, and you stared at the thick fabric of his tunic as it stretched across his chest since you weren’t able to look up to his face. Still standing at right angles to you, he reached onto the table for his lightsaber and snapped it onto his belt. The silence as he reached across for the gloves was terrifying. Your chest was rising and falling quickly, but each breath refilled your senses with more of his presence. With each second he stood unmoving at your side, your body responded more and more without your permission. You stood facing the opposite wall, tracking his movements in the newly cast shadows. You watched the shadow version of him as he tugged them on and reached up to drag the back of his thumb down your jaw to the center of your chin. 

“Don’t speak another man’s name when you’re with me, Treasure.” with his order, he slid the digit up to your lips and pushed it through. Surprised, you opened and yielded your mouth to the invasion, reflexively pressing your tongue flat against the leather. He sawed his hand into your mouth a few times before withdrawing it and smearing the wetness across your mouth. When he was satisfied, he withdrew from the room. You were rooted to the spot, unable to move, but not because of the Force. He called to you from the other room. Shaking your head and inhaling deeply, you followed him to the entryway.

“Master,” you said blankly. You stopped in front of him, watching him grab his cloak off a wall rack and shrug it on. 

“Yes,” he answered, purposefully misunderstanding you. You didn’t need to say anything for him to understand your thoughts. “I call no one Master,” was his reply as he led you out and through and down the lift. Neither of you spoke as he took you a different way than you had used with Vicrul. You nearly ran into him as he stopped suddenly, waved the door open and motioned you in. He followed behind as you carefully crossed the threshold, expecting a trap. The room had the same windowed wall view of the sunrise. You looked around the quarters. They were smaller than his, but much larger than your current ones. Even the entryway table was the same.

“Stay here until the Knights or I come for you,” he instructed. “Your things will be brought to you,”

You were not okay with that for a number of reasons. You spun around to face him. Your body’s shadow was small against his frame. 

“I do not want anyone touching my things, and - no - I’m supposed to meet with Hux and the Ambassador today,” you answered quietly but firmly. His angry eyes froze you to the spot again.

_This was getting old very quickly._

His hand shot out, cupping your chin in his palm and squeezing.

“I warned you, Treasure,” he teased. You tried to move from his grip but struggling was pointless and laughable. He held your head firm in his hand. Your skirts brushed against his legs as you tried to pull away. Staring down at your lips, he loosened his grip and rubbed his thumb across your lips again. You stopped moving. He took his hand away only to lightly graze the outside of your arms with both of his massive hands. “Why do you think so loudly but so little?”

You shivered, hating your reaction to him, but not being able to stop yourself from imagining what it would feel like if he forced you backwards against the wall and pressed himself into you. 

“Is that what you want, Treasure?” his hand drifted from your arm to your stomach. You were on fire. You tried to wet your lips with your tongue, but your mouth was dry, and your scalded taste buds screamed as you dragged them across the dry skin. Your chest heaved as he trailed his hand across your stomach and over the curve of your breasts. He danced his fingers at your neckline. 

“I wonder what you look like under there,” he applied light pressure on the neckline and forced you to take a step backwards. _Hot and needy_ was your immediate thought. He smirked knowingly, advancing on you again. He flattened his palm against the column of your throat and draped his fingers over the curve.

“I could mark your entire body and no one would know.” you sagged against the wall, boots knocking into it. Kylo stepped forward, caging you in with his other arm, adn you felt his hand move with your heavy swallow. Your mouth dropped open, and his mimicked the act while he slid his hand down from your neck, long fingers brushing against your nipples and sliding down your side and the outside of your thighs. He pushed off the wall and both of his hands reached for the fabric of your skirt.

“Show me,” he ordered. Your hands brushed his as you took your skirt from him and bunched it to your hip. You were transfixed by his face as you followed his instructions - not because he was forcing you to, but because you wanted to. You stood, exposed, waiting for him to touch you, nearly coming out of your skin as he slid a gloved palm over the front of your underwear. He cupped you, pressing his fingers into your cleft. You were openly panting now. You knew you were soaked. 

The sound of his other hand slapping your thigh registered before the pain. You gasped in pain and bucked against his hand. 

“Hold that up or else I’ll stop,” You raised your hands to your chest, revealing yourself from the stomach down. “Good girl, Treasure,” he purred in response, letting you indulge yourself as you humped his hand. Your hands white knuckled around the fabric in them. 

“Master,” you croaked, trying to find your head as it swam in the sunrise. You gritted your teeth and arched into his touch needing more. 

“Yes, Treasure,” he teased moving your underwear out of the way. You lost your breath again as he dipped his finger lower ran through you, rubbing along the length of your slit. 

“No,” you grunted, desperately seeking more. Reading your thoughts, he chuckled and tapped the pad of his gloved finger at your entrance. You moaned loudly and moved against him, trying to slip him inside of you. “...Master….” you called out a sob as he relented and slowly began fucking you with his finger. You forgot to hold your arms up, and your skirts fell. You cried out as another slap landed on your thigh, and you throbbed his hand. You rectified your mistake. 

“Treasure." He challenged back. Picking up the pace, he curled his finger inside of you, twisting so his thumb could press into your clit as you fucked yourself on his hand. You chanted a string of objection at being his treasure and “master”, but they just sounded like you were sobbing for your Master, 

And you were. The sounds of your wetness against his glove were obscene, but it was the sexiest thing you’d ever heard and it wasn’t long before you came on his hand, calling out his name for you. Your body shook and you dropped your skirt, reaching out to cling to him instead of collapsing to the floor. He withdrew his hand from you, making you convulse as he tortured you with a tap on your frazzled clit. He pressed a kiss to your temple as he helped you lower yourself to the floor before he withdrew and stood. He eyed his glove with disdain. It was coated in your wetness. With a reserved sigh he removed his gloves and plopped them onto the table top and walked out. He called something out to you as he left, but you had no idea what it was. You were alone, pooled into a boneless pile on the floor, catching your breath as the three suns of Krelik smiled at you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so maybe that summary was a little misleading. I apologize for nothing.


	5. I challenge thee to a duel!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The suns rise; the suns fall. And so do you.

Some time had passed after you had scraped yourself off the floor. You’d propped yourself up in the corner of one of the big chairs in front of the bigger window and lost yourself to your thoughts while watching the triplet stars making their rotation around the cloudy, white planet below. The gaseous atmosphere was swirled in whites and greys. Everything around you felt grey. The purples and pinks of the sunrise had been washed out by the planet’s milky surface. 

There was nothing more you wanted than to stand under a scalding shower until your skin washed away into muscle that disintegrated into bone that circled down the drain and out into space. But you couldn’t. You had no other clothes with you, and you wanted to burn this dress. But you also were afraid to go against the man who had forced you against the wall and made you cum so hard you cried literal tears. You were not leaving these rooms.

_Ugh,_ you sniffed and wrinkled your nose at the scent of you. Everything smelled like you - _intimately_ like you. You just wanted a shower.

You fell oblivious to time, brought back to present by the time of the door. You chose to ignore it and continue staring ahead. You figured that whoever it was would have authority to enter if they wanted, and were proven right. The lack of suffocating presence meant it was probably Hux. You heard him sigh and walk towards you. Your eyes focused on his reflection in the glass and tracked him across the room. He was in his fancier uniform, and you watched as he tucked his hat under his arm. 

“I see Kylo was here,” he said quietly, referring to the gloves still sitting on the table. You hadn’t wanted to look at them. He fidgeted, nervous and ill prepared to deal with whatever this was. He opened his mouth to speak once or twice before giving up, turning around and scrubbing his hands down his face. You weren’t bothered by his discomfort. You watched his reflection pace a few steps, one elbow bent as the other rested on it, scritching at his chin. 

“What do you want Hux?” you took pity on him.

_How charitable_. 

Hux walked over and motioned towards the seat facing yours, asking permission to sit. You nodded and listened to his knees pop and voice groan as he lowered himself down. “Look,” he started softly, leaning forward with elbows on knees, “..I told you. He’s not a good man. He has to be stopped.” You moved your eyes from the window to his hat, still tucked under his arm.

_That hat is going to lose its shape._

“We will get you to Krelik and away from him, and you won’t have to deal with…” his voice trailed off. There was more he wanted to say, and you could tell he was putting it off. 

“Hux, I’m tired. I want my things, and I want a shower. Can you do that for me? Please?” you interrupted, snapping your head towards him. “I’m not ‘allowed’ to leave, and I don’t want him or Brownieface or anyone else near my things.” Hux looked confused for a moment. “The guard guy. The one whose mask is all,” you sliced your hands up and down in a crosshatch motion in explanation. 

“...Vicrul. The Knights of Ren,” he tentatively supplied, nodding along.

“Yes. Them. Just you, Hux,” you accepted his explanation and tried to keep the desperation out of your voice. 

“Yeah, yeah, ok. That’s fine.” He stood and rubbed the back of his neck, holding his other hand against his hip. “Go shower. I’ll bring your things, but…” Here it was - what he was trying to avoid saying - “then you have to get dressed. Your presence has been humbly requested,” he did have to say _who exactly_ requested your presence, but you knew. 

“Just get my shit, Hux, and don’t you dare leave me alone with that man again or I will slit your throat with your own knife.” Beyond mad about the unfairness of the situation, you stood and tried to leave. 

“Listen,” Hux went to grab your arm, but the look on your face kept him at bay. “...I will keep you safe and away from him. This….this wasn’t expected. This is out of character. It’s been...since the Scavenger...since he killed her, he hasn’t ....I’m sorry,” You narrowed your eyes at his fumbling apology. He at least had the decency to look uncomfortable and embarrassed.

“Fuck you, Hux,” you spat, raising your chin at him as you cursed him. His face fell, taking any empathy he may have felt with it. “You’re going to get me killed or you’re going to wind up killing me yourself. Just get my shit.”

You repeated your demand and stormed away. For the thousandth time since sunrise, you wished you weren’t on a damn ship because the hiss of the automatic doors really just didn’t deliver as much satisfaction as the slam of a real one. It wasn’t long before you heard the main door slide open and close. You sat on the edge of the bed until you heard it again. 

“You have one hour. He wants you at dinner.” Hux’s voice was distorted as he called to you through the wall. You listened to the sounds of your things being set down and the clank of hangers jostling together as what you assumed were your clothes were brought in. You didn’t reply to him, but as he left, you followed his orders. 

You were showered and ready when he returned. You looked the same as you did earlier: same tight, high bun, same modest dress, same sensible shoes, but underneath, your skin was raw and your thigh burned where you’d been spanked by Kylo Ren. Hux offered his arm as an olive branch, and you didn’t miss the tightening around his eyes as you rejected it. But your pride was no match for your nerves, and you found yourself latching onto it desperately as you approached the same room from yesterday. Hux patted your fingers and removed your hand to his, leading you as if he was going to twirl you the rest of the way to the table. As you approached, everyone except Supreme Leader Kylo Ren stood to welcome you. Instead, he opted to stare openly at your hand in Hux’s, mouth pressed into a tight, flat, rosy pink line. You greeted everyone back, save the man who refused to greet you, and sat. 

You found conversation through the meal flowed easily and genuinely . Despite the situation, you found yourself relaxing and enjoying yourself. The Ambassador was an idiot, but he was a harmless idiot, which put Hux in a rare and relaxed mood as he watched you charm the man. Kylo remained quiet, barely joining in even when spoken to directly. 

“So what you do with the...” the Ambassador wiggled his slightly webbed fingers above his head, “how is that different from his…” he waggled them in a different motion.

You chuckled.

_This idiot man has no idea what he’s up against_.

“It’s not the same at all,” you answered, taking a sip of water. “He uses the Force, and I don’t? It’s more like I meditate and force you all to do it with me. I don’t think it’s….” you struggled to find a word and found yourself looking to Kylo to supply them. It was the first time all night you had addressed him.

“She thinks loudly,” he sighed and slunk back a little further into his chair. The table looked to him to continue. He reached up and used his first two fingers to push hair out of his face. Your body twitched as you watched the gloved fingers swipe across his eyebrow and disappear behind his ear as he tucked the inky strands back. “Isn’t that right, Treasure?” his voice was teasing, but his face was flat. Yours fell, and you directed your hopefully loud thoughts to his as aggressively as possible. “And you’re being quite rude.” You held his eyes and ignored the added chastisement. 

“...And your sabers?” Hux was trying to coach the conversation along. You dropped your eyes at the table and looked demurely from under your lashes at the table of men.

_All men. And Him._

Vapid was your least favorite personality trait to fake, but the Ambassador was a trope.

“It’s just a glorified prop,” Kylo pulled his leg up, crossing it over the other. You hated how good he was to look at. You studied the sole of his enormous boot as it dangled off his knee. Even in all black, the cut of his clothes were severe and sharp, elongating his limbs and making him look as tall as he was. It did nothing to hide the condescension in his voice. Hux didn’t try to hide the dirty look he shot at his superior, and the Ambassador clicked his tongue at his soon to be ally.

“I could still kill a man with them” you defensively joked. In your mind, you cheered on an imaginary version of you as it ran an imaginary Kylo Ren through with your light sabers over and over and over again.. 

“I believe you believe you could, Treasure.” Everything he said was a taunt. Everything that came out of that man’s mouth was garbage. 

As the night wore down and the conversations slowed, you failed to stifle a yawn and hid your face behind your hand.

“It is getting late. Might I escort you to your quarters?” the Ambassador rose, offering you his hand in support as you moved to stand. He bowed and pressed his lips into your palm as you stood. Your stomach churned as you forced yourself to smile instead of pulling your hand away and slapping him across the face. 

“I confess I’m not entirely sure how to get back there myself,” you laughed and slid your hands behind your back and out of his reach. Again, you shot your eyes down the floor and looked up at him from under your lashes. You knew without looking that Kylo was watching you. You could feel his contempt rolling through you. You assumed the Ambassador did too because he twitched his lips in a poor attempt at a smile and excused himself, dragging Hux along with him. 

_And then there were two._

You were still standing, hands clasped behind your back. Rocking back and forth on your heels, you sighed over dramatically and swung your arms around to your front and crossed them under your breasts. Silence stretched between you and the man sitting across the table from you. You cleared your throat, waited until you had his gaze back, and sighed loudly again. Kylo rolled his eyes at you, but stood, brushing his massive hands down the front of his fitted slacks. You knew the moment he heard your thoughts because his hands stopped moving across his tree trunk thighs. He stretched to his full height and skirted around the table to you. 

He absolutely took your breath away. He was gorgeous, but he looked tired. You pondered his face as you stood together, the toes of your boots almost touching, only a thin line of the grey floor visible between the tips. There wasn’t anything to really say, so you didn’t.

 _He can read my thoughts, anyway, and it’s not like he’s going to tell me his,_ you thought while you stared at each other. Even in this unflattering grey light, the dark shadow of stubble hinting at his jaw and the circles under his eyes took nothing away from his beauty. You looked at each other until neither of you could any more. 

Without words, he touched the tips of his fingers into your lower back to move you forward. Even through the layers of your dress, the contact seared into your scrubbed raw skin and you wanted to scream and run. He withdrew touch as he listened to your screaming thoughts. You walked beside him silently, counting your steps as you walked. You’d counted to a hundred a handful of times before you arrived at your door. You waited as he buzzed you both in. 

“Don’t forget your gloves,” you walked straight past him, hoping to make it to the bedroom before there was an encore of your sunrise performance. You felt absolutely foolish when you stopped voluntarily at the sound of your name. 

“ _Master_ ,” you reminded him, tying yourself to the anger you felt at being demeaned by him all night. Even though there were only a few steps between you and the bedroom, you stayed and stared at the floor. You waited as he walked in front of you. Again, the shiny toes of his boots almost touched the soft, matte of yours. As you tried to stand still, your skirt swayed over both sets of shoes, rolling like little fabric waves against the little leather shores of your feet. You felt your chest constrict as your breaths shallowed, sounding like the roar of a little ocean. 

“Look at me, Treasure,” the depth of his voice melted you. You tried to tamp back the desire swirling around inside of you as you lifted your face to his. You looked at his ear because you didn’t trust yourself to look anywhere else. The gravel in his voice rumbled, and your mouth went dry. He inhaled sharply through the nose as you nervously wet your lips. You caged your tongue back inside your mouth quickly as he mirrored your movement. He was still staring at your mouth. Even though you knew what was happening, it wasn’t until you felt the heat of his hands as they gingerly cradled your cheeks and the sweet pressure of his lips on yours that you were able to react

His lips were firm and wide and easy to cling to. His scent pressed against your body as he slowly drew the kiss out and pulled away, letting his hands fall down your cheek and over your shoulders. He reached for your hands, brought them up to his mouth, and kissed the inside of your wrists. He laid claim as he stamped over the Ambassador’s kiss with his own. You couldn’t speak or move, so you just watched and breathed your choppy little breaths. For the second time that day, he left you alone, reduced into a simpering fool, unable to form a single cohesive thought as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By now you should probably not be surprised that the titles have little to nothing to do with any of what actually happens, but they’re just little bloops of ideas that pop into my head.  
> Super duper thank you so much for being here. This was just something that came into my head while on the darkside of Adam Driver ThirstTok, and I'm so very glad people are actually reading it!


	6. The Pissing Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is an actual duel, unlike the last chapter.

You jolted awoke with a startled gasp.

“Good morning, Treasure.” Your outrage was slow to build as you groggily came to. You groaned and scrubbed your hands down your face. You cleared the sleep out of your eyes and dropped your hands onto your sheet covered lap. Kylo Ren was standing at your bedside. 

“Nope. not doing it,” you flopped yourself back onto your pillow, pulling the thick comforter back over your shoulders and rolled onto your side, facing away from him. “And stop calling me that,” you murmured, snuggling back into your blanket cocoon, clinging desperately to the hope that this wasn’t your life. 

“This is it, Treasure. Up,” he ordered. You ignored him, trying to drift back to sleep, but his presence was so _loud,_ and you complained about it quietly. 

“That’s an order. Get up and get moving.” you cringed into yourself as the bedclothes were torn out of your weak little fists and off your body. It was so cold outside of them. You blindly reached your hands out for them, feeling for them at the bottom of the bed. 

“I order you to let me sleep,” you cried and kicked out your arms and legs in frustration. The tantrum only served to force you farther from Dreamland. Reserved to the fact that you were now awake, you pouted and swung your legs over the side of the bed. You dug your toes into the plush, grey carpet, feeling the plies between them. With your back to Ren, you reached your arms out and stretched, nearly falling backwards onto the bed as you fell slave to a deep yawn that momentarily stole your sight. You felt his eyes boring into your back. 

“I’m awake. I’m awake,” you reassured him, putting your right leg on the bed as you turned to give him your profile. 

You felt him looking at you, inspecting you. “How bad is it?” you asked, putting a hand to your loose hair. As you sat being looked at, you realized that it had probably been years since another person had seen your hair down. Suddenly self conscious, you pulled it back into a messy bun with the elastic on your wrist. You sat in silence for a beat before getting up to press a hand to the wall pad to peel back the window coverings. You squinted and turned your face away. It was well into the morning. The triple suns were clear of the horizon and pouring light in to the room. 

“What time is it?” you asked, rubbing your eyes again and turning to Kylo. 

“Late enough,” was his answer. For the first time you noticed he held a steaming mug, and you wondered if everything looked small in his hands. 

“No,” he answered your unasked question of whether it was for you by bringing the mug to his lips and drinking slowly and purposefully. Your lip jutted out in jealousy. 

“If you have pants, put them on,” he gestured to your naked legs with the cup and took another taunting sip, finishing what was left. He lowered his arm and let it dangle from his fingers. Drops of coffee fell onto the carpet, leaving little black pinpricks of color. 

_Absolutely no regard for anyone or anything._

He chuffed at your thoughts and left you to get ready

Again, you followed his orders and got dressed in thick leggings, wearing the same long sleeved, high necked tunic but cuts were slit from your hip bone to your ankle.

The Supreme Leader sat at your dining table, bent over a data pad, face hovering just above it. He didn’t look at you. Facing him was a full mug of delicious coffee and a stack of pancakes. “Sit and eat. We have a busy day.” 

This felt like a trap. “I already fixed it.” He moved his finger across the data pad like he was flicking the pages of a book. Still watching him as if he might pounce and devour you, you tentatively sat down and took the mug.

_Oh dear Gods._ _This is almost as good as yesterday._

You moaned in happiness as you drank, pleased with yourself that you hadn’t burnt your tongue again. 

“Which part?” he asked deviously, interrupting your happy, caffeinated moment. Kylo unfolded himself and cleared the datapad screen. A self-satisfied smirk danced on his lips and eyes. You thought about ramming your fist in between them as you coveted the warm mug to your chest. You sized him up through slitted eyes as he laughed back you with his. 

A chirp from the data pad had him frowning and he rose with it, walking outside for privacy. Finally able to breathe, you exhaled heavily and ate your breakfast, mind wandering aimlessly. You were sitting there, pushing strings of syrup around the porcelain surface as he popped his head back in and motioned for you to join him outside. You let the fork clang down onto the plate and headed out. 

You walked behind him, growing more frustrated by how he seemed to change the length of his stride with every step. You’d almost walked into him several times. You fixed your eyes on the back of his head and tried to think a hole in it. 

Officers and troopers moved out of your way as he walked through the corridors with you trailing behind like a puppy. You kept staring at the would be hole in his head as you followed him onto the lift.

“Keep up,” he sighed, irritated. “I’m not trying to have a conversation with you over my shoulder,” You moved forward from behind him and fell in next to him as you stepped over the threshold and down another hall. It didn’t matter at all that you weren’t speaking with each other, and you weren’t pointing it out. When you arrived at the training room, you were greeted warmly by the Ambassador and his men, cooly by Hux and ignored by the Knights. You were relieved by their presence and worried by the others.

You looked around as you took your seat with the Ambassador and Hux. You craned your neck up and looked around. The ceilings in here were higher, making the walls seem colder and greyer. There was nothing much to really look at in the room. On one wall was mounted a thin metal countertop where refreshments had been arranged. The bright colors of the treats looked sorely out of place. Along the other walls were tall cabinets and folded floor pads. It did not surprise you that egotistical Kylo Ren wouldn’t use them. By the door, the white med box shone as it’s corners caught the overhead lights. 

“Why are we here?” You whispered to Hux, leaning against his shoulder and looking forward. 

“For a pissing match.” He hissed back.

_Whatever that meant._

You pulled back and watched Hux sulking. You couldn’t help chuckling to yourself. He was actually full on pouting. The man who threatened to kill you was slouched back into his seat, legs full forward, big clonky boots crossed over each other.

“Stop slouching. You’re acting like a baby,” you didn’t miss the opportunity to chastise one of the two men who were playing with your life. _Tap. Tap._ You removed your hand from his thigh and watched as he rolled his eyes and sat up straighter. “There we go, big guy,” you beamed at him. 

His lips snarled and dusted his hands over where you had touched him. “You must be stupid or have a death wish, whore.” Your face fell. You’d forgotten for a second that you were just a tool to everyone in the room.

You put your hand back on Hux’s knee and slid it up his thigh. “I might be a whore, but you’re the one who came to me, Armitage.” You gently squeezed the muscle then, and stood to leave. Smiling tightly as you shuffled past his knees and out of the row of chairs. He followed you out. You ignored Hux saying your name, but paused as the Ambassador did. As you spoke with him, Hux and Kylo joined.

“General. Supreme Leader. I was just apologizing to the Ambassador. My head is throbbing. I think I need to lie down.” You made your excuses while continuing to walk towards the door. 

_You’re lying,_ came the voice in your head. 

_I don't want to be here,_ you answered. 

_You’re our guest, you have to be. It’s rude to walk out._

_I don’t think I actually care_. You put your hands on your hips, forgetting to act sick. 

_I’ll fight you for it._

_Excuse me?_ Your face scrunched in dislike. You shook your head no. The Ambassador and General watched your silent conversation. 

_I’ll fight you for it._ He repeated. _You win, you’re done. You can go to Krelik and do what you do._ He leaned into your space. 

_Yeah, right._ You did not give him an inch. _Let the whore go?_

He shrugged, still in your space. You wanted to bat his hair out of your face.

_Prove it. Prove you can kill a man._ He pulled back and extended a hand, offering you the practice sword he’d been holding. You wrenched it out of his grasp and shoved your way past the men, ramming your shoulders into them as you did. It probably would have been more effective if you were taller. 

_Just another chance to die today._

You lifted the sword in your hands, playing with the feel of it. It was similarly balanced to your sabers, but there was no kyber crystal - just a solid metal shank for a blade. 

Kylo sauntered up, undoing his cloak and letting it waft to the floor behind him. 

“...no no no, it’s fine. “ you heard Hux reassuring the group off to the side.

_Asshole_.

You tuned them out, tunnel visioning on the massive mountain of man in front of you. You felt the rage condensing inside of you and thickening in your limbs.

“No Force.” you demanded. You swung the practice sword a few times, rolling your wrists. He nodded his head in agreement. 

“Stay out of my head. Make it fair.” you continued, feeling empowered by the anger. You positioned your feet and dug down. 

Across from you, the most celebrated and feared warrior across galaxies sunk into his stance. 

“That doesn’t sound like me at all, Treasure.“ he challenged. Your hands twisted around the raised sword. The crack of his leather gloves as his hands mirror yours signaled you were ready. You both stood still. You were throwing lasers at him with your eyes while he sat expectantly, waiting for you to make the first move. You were waiting on him to do the same thing. 

“Are we doing this?” He taunted, straightening to his full height and dropping his arms. 

“God, you’re a pompous asshole,” you cursed, probably a little too loudly. You heard a collection of gasps and Hux’s exasperated groan as you began circling towards Kylo. His face split into a wide and chaotic smile. He swung his weapon back up and followed your lead. 

“You should have brought a hair tie,” you teased, watching him shake his hair out of his eyes. 

“Are you planning on talking shit or fighting?” He asked, faking a lunge towards you. You didn’t fall for his intimidation. You darted your eyes between his hands, feet, knees, face - checking his body for clues on how he might move. 

This time he did actually lunge, showing perfect technique and form. He was toying with you. You returned the parry, surprised at the force of his swing as it rained down. Your grip slipped, but you recovered quickly. 

You raised your brow to him as if to ask, _What is this little kid version of swordplay?_

The room exploded as you advanced on him. You knew it was foolish, but you really had no choice. Kylo wasn’t fighting. He was humoring you. Surprise flashed across his face as he blocked your swing. You danced together, the clanging metal of the weapons chanting an angry melody. The sounds of fighting rang out over the silence of the enraptured group and bounced around the empty ceiling above. You were both grunting with exertion. The longer you fought, the more shocked you were still standing, but you were more surprised by the feeling carrying your limbs. Without any input from you, they knew where to go and just went, dragging you along for the ride. It felt like when you danced, but instead of broadcasting peace and light, you felt consumed by anger and darkness. 

You stumbled back, dropping to your knee, and Kylo shoved you backwards, sword against sword. You tried to recover, but the reality was that he was twice your size and four times as brutal. His face was blank and dotted with sweat as he kicked your other leg out from under you, dropping you flat onto your stomach. You rolled away, angry that he was allowing you to do so. You hopped up and rolled your neck and shoulders. 

“You’re surprising,” he remarked, trying to cage you in again. The look on his face was predatory and glazed. He advanced on you, but instead of closing in slowly, he rushed in, grabbing you by the throat and running you back until your body slammed into the wall with an echoing bang. Your feet dangled and kicked out and your hands clawed at his gloves, accomplishing absolutely nothing. The sounds around you jumbled together. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Hux running over, yelling and drawing his blaster on his Superior officer.

You were running out of breath, and your neck hurt under his crushing grip. Even in his rage, he was gorgeous. You didn’t bother pleading with his vacant eyes. His jaw was set, lips cracked and shaking with exertion and rage. You aimed for his open mouth and spit. You were dropped to the ground as it hit, but you didn’t take time to catch your breath. Pushing yourself off the wall, you aimed your shoulder into his kneecap, wrapped your arms around his leg and forced him backwards. 

It didn’t matter how stupid you knew it was to get into a wrestling match with someone bigger than you; you knew it was dumber to get into a wrestling match with someone you who absolutely no qualms killing. You were running on adrenaline and something unknown.

_I am ready to die._

Your arms were crushed between the backs of his shin and thigh and he stumbled to the ground, landing on his ass. The room went silent. You’d both abandoned your weapons. You scrambled away on your hands and knees, trying to put distance between you, but an angry hand on your ankle pulled you back into the fray. You’d lost. You kicked and thrashed and Kylo grabbed your wrists and pinned them on either side of your head. He let his weight hold you down, and crept his legs up your side, effectively sitting on you. You were screaming insults at him, but he didn’t respond. He just stared down at you as your frustration turned into panic. The strength that you had felt ebbing through you collapsed completely inside you, and a sharp pinch rooted in your chest. You gasped, trying to sit up, but Kylo held you down. His mouth was moving. Hux’s was too. He was yelling something at you. The sound of your blinking eyes and blood screamed through your ears; no other sound existed.

You tried to tamp down the panic, but you realized you weren’t completely in control of yourself and panicked more. You strained, gulping in another breath, but instead of the release of an exhale, an explosion of Force threw everyone away from you. Kylo’s body was flung backwards and he landed on his bottom again, catching himself with his palms. Hux was on the ground, too. You looked around as sound flooded to your senses, a violent symphony of voices and explosion and your own breathing pummeling you. 

You had to run. Shaking, you forced yourself up, brushing your hands off on the sides of your pants, cringing at the pain you felt as you pressed into the tender skin. You touched your hands to your mussed bun, frowning at your shaking hands. You threw them down at your sides, clenching and unclenching them. Without sparing a look at anyone else, you winced and ran out as fast as your battered body would let you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent several days (over)thinking on this chapter after someone I respected made fun of it. I happen to think it is one of the most impressive things I have ever written. I am insanely proud of it, and I wanted you to know.


	7. Forgotten Instantly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you and Kylo Ren discuss the merits of well-made furniture.

You stormed into your quarters, still fisting and un-fisting your hands. You weren’t as much pacing as you were bouncing back and forth in an unorganized circle.

_Everything was loud - so fucking loud._

There was too much blood in your body, and it was screaming through you. Your steps and fists kept time with the frantic contractions of your heart; you could feel the push and pull of blood as it traveled up and down your veins and capillaries. 

The room was too fucking bright. You lunged for the wall panel, slamming your palm onto it, hoping you hit the one that would lower the shades over the swirling giant and it’s trio of suns. The serene view mocked you peacefully. For a moment, you were sucked into the whirlpool of the atmosphere. The ambient light was smothered as the blinds activated; your hands dropped again. 

_Open and close. Open and close._

You repeated the phrase and action over and over again until it was all you could do. 

_Open and close. Open and close._

Your fingers straight with rage collapsed into little balls of fury. 

_Open and close. Open and close. Nope. No tears. No._

You tried to force yourself to comply, but you couldn’t stop the heavy and shallow breathing. 

_Breathe._

You spoke your demand into the empty room, shaking your wrists out. They flopped around limply at the end of your arms. The looser you shook them, the more out of control you felt. So you shook them harder because if you just did it _hard enough_ , it would snap you out of it. You became aware your head was pounding. You were still pacing. There were too many layers to this misery. Your eyes scanned the room frantically and landed on the small, shiny, metal dice on the table. Everything careened to a stop for a split second before taking off again. 

_The universe is screaming; it won't stop screaming._

Your hands stopped flapping to press your palms into your temples. You groaned into the pain, crouching on your haunches. You didn’t hear the door slide open and shut, and you didn’t feel him enter. You felt _everything._ You heard your name, you thought. Again. You focused your attention. Pity flashed across his eyes. From your ball on the floor, you looked up at him, hands still against your head, breath still rapping out an offbeat staccato rhythm. You tasted blood. You’d been digging your teeth into your lip. 

He approached cautiously - like yesterday’s wish might come true, and you finally would spontaneously combust. In your overwhelmed state, your sniffles choked into giggles. 

_Never on time. Always off_ . _Look at me. Look at me._

He did.

_Run. Breathe. He’s so tall. I’m dying. He’s going to kill me. My head. I can’t breathe._

“Stand up.” You sucked in a breath and listened, struggling to stop the pathetic lip quivers and knocking knees. You weren’t sure if you’d managed to stop those, but your hands started balling again. 

_Oh, he’s mad. Big mad. Big dick energy mad._

“Do you know what you just did?” Kylo’s voice was smooth and deep, and you were desperate to not be afraid of him. His voice was stern, but placating.

_Like a hostage negotiator._

You shook your head to clear it and couldn’t stop. Like before, the more you moved, the looser you held onto your self control. You briefly considered the logistics of jumping through the window.

“Stop,” his command was forceful. You pulled away as he stepped in front of you, holding your head in his giant palms. 

_More blood_. You kept biting into the split in your lip, closing your mouth down around it with more pressure. Kylo swept his thumb across your lips and tugged it free. 

_No gloves._ Your eyes darted to his hands. _I wonder if he can feel my blood under my skin._ Your pulse hit like a drum. 

“Table.”

_His gloves._

Your stomach turned as you remembered. 

He was so close. 

_Big eyes. Brown eyes. Big ears. Black, black hair. Constellations of freckles._

His right hand was on your chest now; the left cupped the back of your neck. He gripped the mess of hair that had escaped from your bun and forced you to look into his eyes. 

“Breathe.” he tapped your chest with his whole hand. “Grab onto it. Control it.”

_Leather. Embers. So so pale._

“This is yours. Don’t be afraid of it. Let it root. That power. You feel it. It’s yours. It can be ours.” His voice rumbled out of his chest and into yours. 

_Ours._

You blinked the words into your mind. You felt his presence forcing yours down. You nodded along with him, breath still tight and shallow. The hairs he gripped were blossoming into sparkling little pin pricks of pain, undulating with the heaviness of your heart as it beat under his massive hand.

He timed his breath to yours, and you timed your blinks to his. The two of you co-existed in your moment while he forced your thoughts to slow. 

“You’re okay,” he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours. It was sweaty, but his lashes were so long. You looked up as best you could. He repeated himself. Your brow furrowed under his. He had the audacity to sound concerned. 

You crept your arms between your bodies and tried to extract yourself. 

_Too much._

He pulled his face away from yours. Salty swaths of hair were stuck to his face. You watched as a new bead of sweat slid down and absorbed into the strands around it. He was a hateful and breathtakingly beautiful bastard. 

“Don’t do it…” you warned him; a whisper. You stepped backward, but weren’t released. Your stomach fluttered in a combination of lust and fear.

“Supreme Leader…” your voice caught, eyes starting to well. You tried to blink them away. They felt bruised.

_Your Name._

He whispered your name, lips barely moving as he offered it like a prayer into the Force and kissed you. 

The need to vomit was instant. Revolted, you twisted away and spit at his feet. 

“You. This is all your fault.” You stormed to him and pointed your finger in his face, fuming. He didn’t flinch. You were inconsequential. “You started this bullshit.” 

He was unmoving. You heard the slap before your brain registered you’d done it. 

“You _asshole.”_ you spewed the insult at him then shoved him. Not even an inch.

“Fuck you, Kylo Ren. You sick, twisted dick! You murdering prick!” Your fists stayed clenched as you swung at him. The wall of his chest hurt your hands. Everything already hurt. He was a wall, and his stupid presence hurt. Your thoughts were quickly crumbling back into a panicked, manic mess. You cursed and cried, striking out at him until your hands were jerked back. 

You stilled as he gripped your wrists. You cut your eyes down to them, afraid of his eyes. He gave you a moment to compose yourself, and you spent it studying the way his forefinger crossed across his thumb as they encircled your wrists. 

“I will put you back against that wall if you don’t stop this bullshit tantrum. Get a hold of yourself, Kriff Almighty."

You choked on your gasp. You darted your eyes from his fingers to the gloves behind you on the table. 

_Back on the fucking table._

Your tongue was thick and dry in your mouth as the memory of your orgasm clenched. Your thighs squeezed together involuntarily. 

“You…” he interrupted himself with a dangerous and rumbling chuckle. Your eyes bounced back to his hands on your wrists. You felt like you should be embarrassed or ashamed, but you were feeling too much of everything to feel just one something. You shifted again.

“Treasure, you _want_ me to fuck you back into that wall, don’t you?” Your gulp was audible. 

Three quick breaths and you launched yourself at him. His big hands caught you as you jumped and crawled your way up his body. Teeth knocking together, you growled into his lips and forced your tongue inside his mouth. Your mouths slammed together, the blood from your worried open lip flavoring the kiss. Arms twisted around his neck, burying hands in his hair, tugging on it like he had done to you. 

“Fuck,” he cursed, tearing his mouth away. His chest heaved in time with yours, and you ground against him. His fingers dug into the flesh of your ass before he dropped you onto the entry table. It wobbled and tilted, but he caught you before you slid onto the floor along with his gloves and those stupid, unlucky dice. They were forgotten instantly. 

Kylo’s hands on your knees pushed them apart, and he ground himself against you. A frenzy exploded. Teeth nipped at the skin of your neck. There would be bruises. Your hands were hopelessly lost in the tangles of his hair again as you used it to pull yourself up and writhe against him. 

“Off,” the gruff order was made against the shell of your ear. 

You toed off your shoes, legs twisted behind his back, still trying to keep him against you. You squealed as you were lifted, tunic shoved up over your butt as he plopped you back down onto the hard table. 

“Off,” you begged back. He felt so good. Kylo Ren felt like a Supreme Leader. His body was so hard against yours. You couldn’t stop moving against him if you’d wanted to. His hand snaked between your bodies as he opened his pants. You kicked them down off his body with your heels. 

You mewled incoherently as a knuckle pressed into the seam of your leggings. 

“Off,” the only word either of you were capable of. Your hands in his hair forced his mouth back onto yours. Spit smeared across your faces as Kylo’s lips tried to move back down your body. He pulled away for a second, pulling your hands from their nest in his tangled hair. His chest heaved. You propped yourself up, hands gripping the edge of the table as you sat perched on the edge. 

You licked your lips, tasting his spit, stinging in the cut.

“Fuck,” he drew out the curse. “I’m sorry,” he apologized hurriedly, pecking a quick kiss to your lips. And then he tore the seams of your leggings apart and shoved your underwear to the side. He didn’t wait to run a finger through your lips, dragging your wetness over your clit. Your hips threatened to lift off the table, but Kylo’s loose hand forced you to still. 

You watched transfixed as he brought the glistening finger to his mouth and sucked it clean. Your dry mouth stuck together as you swallowed. Still staring at each other, he repeated the action, but brought his finger to your mouth instead. Obediently, you parted your lips and wrapped your tongue around it, swirling and sucking. His breath hissed. 

“Pity you’re so wet, “ he lamented boredly, dropping his hand to your chest and pushing you backwards, flush against the small table. Your head spun as it lolled off the edge. “I wanted to spit on you this time.” 

Your curse was low as it dragged out of you. Flat on your back and mouth hanging open, mind absolutely shot to hell as one long, lonely finger traveled along the line of your pussy and danced around your opening. 

It still surprised you when you started mewling. Kylo silenced you by flipping your tunic over your body and shoving it in your mouth. You groaned into the gag, screaming past it, back contorted as Kylo reached down and bottomed out in one smooth, swift, sharp movement. Your body jerked as you were stretched to accommodate him. You were not prepared for the sawing ache that ripped through you as he fucked you into the table. His hand on your clit made you incoherent. 

You were vaguely aware that it was _your_ voice that was begging. 

_Have more with me._ His thoughts flooded into yours. You spasmed around his cock as he pulled out and slapped your cunt with his cock. The wet smack hung in the air. 

_More. More._ The makeshift gag fell out of your mouth, but your thoughts never made it out as he ground back into you.

_Say you will, and I’ll let you come._ Fingers pinched your clit. So close.

_You will beg me for it._ The edge of the table was biting in your back and the blood pooling in your head was making you lightheaded, but you were fairly certain you had already been begging for quite some time now. 

_Let me show you. Let me teach you your power._ The Supreme Leader’s voice strained in exertion. Sweat was dripping down onto your stomach from the wet tips of his hair. He grabbed your shoulders and pulled you forward towards him. He slid out and flipped you over. You nearly fell, but the table caught your body hard. When you didn’t move fast enough, Kylo kicked at your feet to spread them then hefted you with an arm under your hips and did it for you. 

He slid back in without warning. Knees buckling, you let your face fall onto the table top. The table rocked with the momentum of your body as he fucked you delirious.

“I don’t want it,” you managed through clenched teeth. Your skin was stuck to the table. Your face was contorting in motion. 

“I think you do,” he grunted. You heard him spit and moaned as he used his thumb to rub the wetness against your other hole. 

“Oh god!” you keened, openly begging and refusing in the same breath. You were coming undone. He increased the pressure of his thumb and hooked it into you. Your vision tunneled.

“Are you ready to come, Treasure?” he purred. It was useless. You were already there. Your back arched, and you sunk backwards. His other hand reached out and held your neck, forcing you at an awkward angle while your body spasmed and gave out. Your throat was raw as you babbled. 

“Fuck!” he cursed loudly as he pulled his thumb from your ass and sprayed across your back. His body weight leaned into yours, further bruising the table edge into your hips. You groaned in complaint. Sounds only. Words were too hard. Luckily, he understood. He stepped back, tapping your ass twice for a job well done. You couldn’t help but smile at his disgusted scoff as he realized he’d put his hand into a ribbon of his own cum. Your amusement was short-lived as he walked away. You couldn’t follow. You were too tired, and you weren't altogether sure if you still had legs. 

“Can you stand?” He held out his now clean hands in support. You couldn’t take them, and the frustration devastated you. As if a flip switched, you began to sniffle. The quiet tears came in hot and fast; Kylo Ren had fucked your willpower out of you, and now you couldn’t even peel yourself off this god forsaken, fucking table to wipe them away. 

He watched you cry for a second before sighing and sweeping you up in his arms. You curled into his body and sniffled into his shoulder. Kylo said nothing, acting like it was completely normal to take you into the bathroom and prepare a shower for you. The Master of the Knights of Ren acted like you two bathing together was an everyday thing. The Supreme Leader of the First Order acted like it was a common occurrence to release your hair from it’s bun so he could wash and condition it. You stood still, leaning against the shower stall wall as he scrubbed sticky cum off your skin. 

And when you failed to stifle the wave of _everything_ and started sobbing, Kylo Ren moved your body out from under the sting of the hot spray and wrapped his arms around your shaking body. He didn’t respond as you cried a string of apologies into his chest; he rocked your body back and forth until you finished with your tears. And as if it was part of your nightly routine, he dried you off and put you to bed, making sure you sufficiently burritoed in your comforter before turning off the lights. 

Then just like you were used to, you watched him leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep being amazed people are actual reading this! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for humoring me and my horrible typos. Bless you!


	8. Morning Cup of Joe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good Morning, Treasure! Welcome to the consequences of your actions!

You slept most of the day, waking in pain-filled, semi-conscious bursts where you only managed the most basic of tasks. You’d showered, changed and tossed the dirty clothes from yesterday down the laundry chute. Your head felt like a hangover gave birth to a migraine. You’d only tried to open the blinds once, and it sent you crawling back to bed. You’d spent some quality time staring from your quilted cocoon. The wall in the bedroom proved to be almost as fascinating as the sheets, but was less interesting than _other wall_ in the living area. But neither compared to the entryway table. 

_What in the actual fuck was that?_

Your brain looped the memories so loudly. You expected to hear them echo in the room with you, and your body braced for the impact of them as they ricocheted off the grey walls of this metal box of a bedroom. You cringed - inwardly - outwardly - absolutely mortified by what had come out of your mouth. Afterward the fourth or fifth replay and oblivious staring for however, long, you’d gone and tidied up what had been knocked askew.

You found those damn lucky dice when they crunched under your heel. The pain shot straight up your back and rang simultaneously in your foot and base of your skull. Add another bruise to join the others covering your body. Challenging the Master of the Knights of Ren to a duel had bruised your joints with the ferocity of his skill with the saber, but it was the rematch on aforementioned table that had left too many finger-sized marks from your neck to your thighs. 

_Wait, is that one on my calf?_

You’d found that one after sitting cross legged on the bathroom counter to inspect your swollen face and purple under eyes. You brought your face right up to the mirror, turning your face from side to side, inspecting the damage. You looked halfway between beaten to hell and freshly fucked - which you couldn't exactly argue with. Every twinge of shame you felt was perverted by the tight thrill that immediately coursed behind it.

In between all of this sat dread, heavy and fearful in your gut. Maybe you were actually stupid. Past experiences would have made you inclined to agree, but current experiences wanted to burn this whole _thing_ \- whatever it was - down. 

And you still weren’t any clearer on what exactly had happened when you went back to bed for the 5th and final time for the day. 

And then sunrise woke you as it poured wide swatches of cotton candy light into the room. It was disorienting, like being reborn into a kaleidoscope instead of a non-descript grey stateroom on a space station hovering over an ordinary planet with perfectly normal people going about their naïve little lives. As soon as your mind oriented itself right side up, the ball of dread was back in your belly, choking out any hope of _anything_ , really. 

_This is not going to go well._

As scared as you were, you were afraid to leave _Him_ waiting. You’d beaten a personal record getting ready, but you still felt like you’d taken too long when you left the bedroom. There, again at your table, sat Supreme Leader Kylo Ren in head-to-toe black with an ankle crossed over his knee, datapad propped up in his gloved hand. 

You stepped to the table timidly. 

_I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with my hands._

You looked at them and decided to shove them into your pockets before immediately pulling them back out and holding them behind your back. As you approached, he held a finger up. You stopped mid-step and froze for the almost 10 seconds he kept his finger raised. You waited until he motioned to the chair before you sat down. 

“Just put them in your lap,” the instruction was given with an exasperated sigh as he tossed the data pad on the table. You shrank under his scrutiny, but managed your anxiety through good posture and silence. But under the table, your feet bounced nervously. You focused on them movement, and allowed it lull you for a moment.

“Holy shit!” your hand flew to your chest, and you gasped as the entry doors slid open and an officer came and set a coffee service in the middle of the table. A _single_ coffee service. _One_ cup on a _singular_ saucer with _one_ spoon resting on top of _a_ napkin. There was a _small_ serving of cream and one _little_ jar with lump sugar piled past the brim, complete with the miniature tongs needed to retrieve them. You considered reaching out and claiming the mug, but the sharp look he shot at you left you to squirm in your seat instead. 

“So, um,” you worried your hands in your lap as you worked your words out. “How much damage did I do?”

Supreme Leader of the First Order, he sat staring at you, unmoving except for the small circles his fingertip drew against the pad of his thumb.

“You should be more concerned about what damage I am going to do to you.” Your eyes snapped up to his, and your body stilled.

_Definitely not the time for coffee._ You sucked your lip into your mouth to chew on, forgetting it had barely healed together.

“Hux went to Krelik. Turns out your temper tantrum scared them away.” Kylo uncrossed his legs and leaned in over the table, propping himself up on his elbows. His arms stretched across the table, and he slid the grey metal tray to the side with a careful swipe of his forearm. 

“But I don’t even know what happened…” your anxiety spiked. 

“Do you know what this means?” Kylo’s voice was low as he squared off with you. His eyes were focused and intense, but you didn’t trust the anger you saw there. It felt manufactured and hollow, but you didn’t want to challenge the sincerity of it. 

“Yeah, Hux is gonna kill me.” You looked away and smoothed your hand across your arm. The movement caught his eyes, and your shaky breath pulled his attention away from your face and for a few foolish, brief seconds you thought it might not be so bad. 

“ _I_ am going to kill you,” Fists slammed on the table in a furious downstroke of black, making you and the coffee service jump. His voice tore through the room and slammed into your chest. Your hands shot up to shield your head and apologies started pouring out of you. 

“Kylo, I’m sorry…” you cowered, not looking up. Afraid to look up.

“Supreme Leader.” He demanded, pounding the table again and standing. Little droplets of spit flew off his title and left little drops of cold wet on your outstretched arms. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Supreme Kylo I’m sorry. I-Supreme Leader, I’m sorry,” Your fear was a faucet of apologies spewing everywhere. You continued until he cut you off. 

“Get up,” Kylo’s voice leveled in an instant.

_Smooth, honeyed and absolute power._ You lowered your arms, but still couldn’t look at his face. His stance was threatening enough to keep you from being able to move. The wave from yesterday began creeping into the nausea and fear from today, making it so much _more_. 

You yelped and cried, openly begging when he reached out with the Force and lifted you from your seat. Your toes hovered a hair above the floor but kicking your feet out proved you weren’t going anywhere. They just didn’t reach. 

“Are you going to kill me?” your voice was so quiet that it surprised you as it squeaked out, sounding so unsure and utterly terrified. You were held in the air at his mercy while Kylo Ren observed you. His lips twitched as if he was talking to himself. You stumbled as he released you, catching yourself on the edge of the table and leaning over it to catch your breath.

_I’m alive. Oh Lord, I’m alive._ Your celebration was short lived. 

“Bend over” Kylo had moved directly behind you, close enough that the wave of your skirts broke against the column of his legs as it moved with you. 

_Wait, what?_

“This is the second time I have had to repeat myself this morning, Treasure.” He pressed his body against yours, and you looked over your shoulder with eyes wider than the suns of Krelik. You held his eyes as he pushed a palm between your shoulder blades and guided you down until your chest met the table top. 

“Nine. Months.” He said it like it was an explanation. He gripped the back of your calves under your skirt. Kylo kneaded the muscle like he was inspecting a stock animal before sliding his hands up your thighs. Your eyes fluttered back and you pressed into him involuntarily. His massive hands spanned your skin, thumbs pressing into the inside of your thighs while his pinkies skirted the curve of the outer. 

“Nine months of negotiations,” your breath picked up as the cool air of the room hit the skin left exposed as your skirt was lifted over your bottom and draped onto the small of your back. 

“I’m sorry,” now nothing but hoarse whispers, scared tears pooled from your eyes onto the tabletop when he reached out and lowered your face onto the surface. As he held it there in warning, you found a spot to stare at. 

_That stupid, fucking table._ _Can I get rid of -_

Your dissociated thoughts imploded as pain exploded through you. Your gasp was loud in your own ears, and your unsuspecting knees dropped at the impact. Your breath speared your lungs. 

“I’m going to need your attention, Treasure,” Kylo Ren chastised, righting your limbs and lifting your hips to slide your underwear over your cheeks and down your thighs. You felt them land on the top of your feet. You could feel everything.

_Even the kaleidoscope lights._

“I asked you a question, my dear,” you squirmed as his fingers danced down the seam of your butt and brushed against your lips. The jolt of pleasure shocked you. He just laughed. 

  
  


“I asked you one, too, Kylo.” Your audacity was met with two more hard smacks that left you gasping for air and trying to claw your nails into something. 

“Now how many was that?” You bucked against the pain, legs plastered to his front. A sharp intake of breath and slow exhale hissed from over your shoulder. Your back rolled under his hands as they sank into the roundness of your hips, squeezing and holding you against him. Your eyes fluttered as he grounded you on his thickness.

_Three._ Why even bother to talk?

“And how many months?” Kylo’s growl lilted expectantly for an answer.

_Oh, Gods. Nine. Nine months. Nine fucking months. Oh Gods-”_ A single swat to the other cheek had you stamping your feet to resist crying out.

“All at once or one at a time?” Behind you, Kylo ran his hands up either side of your spine and stretched over your shoulders You were hauled flush against his chest, One of his arms snaked between your breast; the other over your hip, pressing new bruises into the ones he’d already left the night before. You tensed at the thought of being fucked by him again so soon because you could not handle a fucking _like that_ again already. 

“I need you to say it,” for a second his tone lowered gently as he brushed his voice in your ear.

“..once..” you nodded and swallowed hard. Your head shook in agreement with yourself as he lowered your body back down on the table. 

You howled and convulsed as he executed your punishment swiftly and without a care to your tears or cries of pain. Behind your eyes, the suns of Krelik sped by and morphed into one giant, fiery sphere that set the planet aflame. A pain you had not expected crippled you, and you fell prostrate onto the table, pain overtaking your ability to stand. You laid there in too much pain to be mortified as big hands grabbed handfuls of your ass and spread you open. 

The heat coming off his skin was devastating, and the hot-er and cold-er of the breath he blew across your slit took out your knees. He kept his breath on your skin as he stretched his clothed body back over you to speak into your hair. 

“Get on your knees, Treasure.” His nose nuzzled into the hair behind your ear. He took a deep inhale, and you knew his eyes had closed as he savored your scent. He pulled away slowly, nipping at the back of your shoulder. Kylo stepped back, removing his body as the supports you were using to stay upright.

_Oh, fuck._ You slunk backwards onto the floor, openly panting. It felt like you couldn’t get your chest to inflate properly, and you weren’t sure if you should try to inhale more deeply or more frequently. Either movement caused your dress to rake across your nipples. The sharp burn across your backside incited you. 

You moved onto your knees, arms hanging limply because _really, what are you supposed to do with them?_ Folding them in front of you would show subservience. Twiddling your fingers would make you look scared and nervous. Crossing your arms would look combative, and holding them behind your back would shove your tits in his face. Kylo Ren did not need to be encouraged. As you settled in front of him, Kylo stepped to you. You openly watched him, head tilted back, mouth open, as he removed his left glove, starting at the thumb and working his way across. He smirked and acted like he was surprised that you had been caught watching him. 

“Sweet, sweet, Treasure,” Kylo reached out with his right hand and traced your cupid’s bow before moving his finger into the seam of your mouth and to your teeth. Understanding, you lightly bit the glove’s fingertip, holding on tighter as he pulled his hand freeze. He moved deliberately as he plucked the glove from your mouth and tucked the pair into his pocket. 

Caught looking again, you shot your face towards the floor. You tasted leather.

_Shiny black boots. Here we go again._

You shifted side to side, repositioning yourself on your knees, trying to relieve the irritation of the cheap flooring digging into you. Fleeting bravery allowed you to look up. 

_Mistake._

You swallowed hard as he reached down to remove his belt. His fingers were so graceful and he moved with such control. You were shaking just being in the room. The clang of his belt buckle being undone, the pop of his button and the slide of his zipper were a symphony of seduction. The belt clunked chunkily as it hit the floor beside you. He stepped forward. The placket of his pants brushed your nose and lips. You nearly choked on your tongue trying to keep from lashing out to taste the texture of the heavy fabric.

You yipped in surprise as Kylo wrapped his hand around the bun in your hair. You followed the unspoken instruction to stand still, but the movements of his hands tugged at you anyway. 

“Hands,” you held out your palms, unable to see them but offering them to him blindly nonetheless. Hair pins were placed one at a time in your upright palms in pairs.. 

_Right hand. Left hand. One. One. Two. Two. Three. Three._

You closed your fingers around the thin pins when he told you to. His hands were wound in your hair, untwisting the coiled bun and pulling the hair tie out, re-wrapping the ponytail around his fist as he went. You held your head up straight, eyes shooting up to him looking down at you. Using the other hand, he spread his fingers wide and rolled the black elastic around his thick wrist. He rocked himself forward into your face, hair hold tethering you. The teeth of his zipper scraped against your mouth and knocked into your teeth. You tried pulling a breath, but through the clothing it was slow and thick. Kylo pulled your head back until it was tilted straight up. Your mouth parted in distrusting anticipation. 

_I am at the mercy of a man who has no idea what it is._

Your eyes darted to his. You knew he had read you because he chuckled. The laugh was not as unsettling as the dissociation in his eyes. You jerked your head to the right, and his hand came down. The pain it caused as you pulled your own hair with the movement wasn’t worth the glance. You remembered to keep your hands down.

Kylo gently shushed you with a brush of fingers across your jaw. They traveled from the divot of your ear lobe met your face, down the slope of your cheek and to your chin. Using just the one hand, he lowered his trousers. You pulled your own hair again leaning backwards and away from him to avoid being hit in the face. Another tug from above and you looked up. Kylo opened his mouth, formed and “o” and motioned for you to do the same as he circled a long finger in the air. You ran your tongue across yours lips quickly, barely sticking it back into your mouth before he shoved his cock haphazardly into your mouth. 

He was heavy and salty against your tongue, and you stretched your lips to cover your teeth as he forced your jaw open. His head was spongy as Kylo speared into your mouth. His hand wrapped in your hair held your head in position as he counted out nine thrusts and then pulled out of your mouth completely. You coughed, watery eyes watching Kylo as he watched you, mesmerized by thin strands of spit as they popped and broke onto your lips as he pulled away. 

Kylo wrapped his naked hand around his cock and swiped it like a paint brush across your lips, smearing together your spit and his precum. You opened your mouth willingly as he pushed through your lips. Again, he held your head steady as he humped into your face, counting off each stroke. 

“Seven. Eight. Nine,” He pulled out again, and you inhaled deeply while he rubbed his swollen head across your lips, this time swiping wider, smearing more spit across your face. Without warning, he moved into your mouth again, a little harder and a little faster. Again, he counted out his thrusts. He repeated the act again and again until you were coughing and gasping for breath. You’d barely managed to keep your hands at your sides. 

_I will not drop them._ Your clenching fingers sparked a lower, hungrier one. 

“Good Girl,” your head was being tilted as far back as his grip would allow. Kylo towered above you, hair falling in curtains around his face, shadowing the hollow of his cheeks. His jaw was set, teeth gritting together as a twitch teased the corner of his open mouth. 

“Nine months,” he reminded you. The look on his face was almost pleading with you to agree and remember how you’d ruined his plans. He was silently compelling you to agree with him and understand him. You did, nodding along as best as you could with him forcing you to be held in this position. 

“I’m sorry,” your apology sounded fumbled. Looking down at you, he instructed you to open your mouth again, mimicking the shape he wanted your mouth with his own. As soon you did, he thrust back inside, using your hair like a handle and forcing your face as far into him as possible. You choked and gagged as he counted out again. You made a sound in the back of your throat but it’s impact was lost into the folds of fabric that swallowed your face as he bottomed out. You sputtered when he pulled out and focused on filling your lungs with air. 

“How many?” he stepped back and lowered himself to speak into your ears. His cock wagged obscenely in your face as he moved. 

“Two” you whispered, wanting desperately to wipe your face. 

“And how long?” his teeth nipped at your ear, and you bit back a groan and submitted your neck to him. 

“Nine,” your voice broke; you felt small. You tried to swallow past the thick web of spit lodged in the back of your throat. 

“And how do you want it,” his hair swung into your face, and you breathed in the heady scent of him. Your eyes fluttered closed as you answered instinctively. 

_All at once._

You cringed at how cowardly it was not to answer aloud, but you were only capable of so much. He grunted at you and lowered your head. You opened your mouth expectantly and pulled a deep inhale. 

You tried to focus on holding the breath, but the veracity of the Supreme Leader as he fucked your skull, burying himself into your mouth until his pubes pressed into your face and you gagged as he shoved himself down your throat. He rammed himself through your gag reflex, pushing through your convulsions and stopping you from breathing.

Your hands felt cramped shut as you struggled to use them to steady yourself against him. Gasping breaths filled your chest as he continued the rhythm. At this point, tears spilled openly down your face from the constant choking.

_Nine strokes. Hold it for nine; breathe for nine._ By the time you’d been able to identify the pattern, he was on set nine of nine. Each time he increased tempo, and the hand in your hair was no longer concerned with being gentle. Your hair was being pulled harshly with each thrust.

Throwing his head back and cursing into the grey ceiling, Kylo fucked your face through the nine count until he’d had enough, pulled out and shot across your face. He pushed you away from him, and you fell onto your hands and knees. The hair that he had let go had fallen and was sticking into the ropes of jizz slashed across your face, mocking his scar as you looked up at him from the floor. 

Face filthy, your eyes met. For at least a count of nine, you held his focus. Kylo blinked first and turned away, running his hands through his hair and shoving himself back into his pants and righting his clothes. He continued to avoid looking at you as he hurried himself to presentability, although spit darkened the placket of his trousers and hem of his tunic. You sank back off your knees onto your bottom, sitting with legs now jutting out in front of you, hovering around shoulder width apart. Clearing his throat as he reached into his pocket, Kylo slid his gloves on and stepped between your legs again. He crouched down, knees popping as he drew himself down to your level. 

Your chest still heaved. You dropped your chin to it and leaned away from him. 

“Treasure, you will not touch what is mine.” You nodded your head in agreement, not quite sure what he meant but fairly certain the threat was not hollow. He rose to his full height and toed his foot out, sliding his boot through the fabrics of your skirts to press against your pussy. The delicious pressure sent fireworks through your limbs and sparked stars behind your eyes. 

“Mine,” he reminded, pressing into you again. You would have agreed to anything to feel that pressure against you again. 

“Do not leave this room, Treasure.” he stepped back and scowled at you, hair still still stuck to your face with a mix of cum and spit. You nodded your ahead again absently. Kylo’s lips thinned as he considered saying more. But he didn’t, and he kept them pressed into that tight line as he backed away from you, turning after a few steps and exiting your quarters without acknowledging you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I really struggled with this one. Spent the week waiting for Covid results (negative, yay!), but we are still waiting on my husband's (boo!), and that kinda killed my drive to do anything. I'm super stoked for this next chapter so hang on to your coffee cups, my Treasures!


	9. Quid Pro Quo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hux reveals his dissatisfaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Treasures! I know my notes are usually at the end, but I wanted to do them at the start this time because I really think this chapter needs a TW: domestic violence. 
> 
> I was super committed to this scene because it's important to the plot, but it brought up a lot of *stuff* with a past, abusive relationship. (Surprising, I'm sure.)
> 
> so yeah, there's your trigger warning.

_Three days._ It had been three days since Kylo had _Kylo-ed_ you again. You’d given up trying to figure him out after the first time he’d held you against the wall, but you had a lot of time to _not_ think of your Supreme Leader and absolutely _no one_ to talk to about him. You saw few people, and you weren’t even sure if they _were_ people. Three times a day, your door would slide open and a big, black rain cloud would roll on in and plop a meal tray onto that damn entryway table. The Knights all looked like generic variations of each other. 

_Big. Strong. Tall. All in Black. Stupid helmet._ The helmets were the most ridiculous of all. Whoever designed them clearly paid no mind to functionality. You’d tried to come up with a nickname for each of them since they refused to tell you theirs, but it really didn’t matter. Notably absent was Brownie Face. You’d attempted to ask Triangle Face about him, but he ignored you. Even though his mask, you felt him looking down on you before he looked away. 

_Ok, not a fan._ From that point on, you’d stopped trying.

You were sitting on the couch, facing the panoramic window, lazily watching ships arriving and departing from the station. You followed a mid sized transport as it left the black void of the hull and headed towards Krelik, the ship a dark shadow across the milky planet. You tracked it as long as you could, watching it blend into the atmospheric swirls and disappear. You stared off after it, fingertip tapping lazily against the datapad you’d abandoned beside you. 

The room shifted. The hairs on the back of your neck tingled, and you jumped off the couch and turned towards the door to see a flash of grey and orange barrel through. Hux slammed his hand onto the wall pad and punched at keys. He was beyond agitated.

Hux seethed as he turned and glared at you. He looked unhinged. He just stood there, furious and tightly sprung. The blaster on his hip didn’t make you feel much better. 

“You absolute, bloody imbecile!” His voice was calm until the end. You flinched at it’s violent inflection. He stormed across the room and slapped you, backhand raining down, snapping your head. You gasped in shock and pain. The expectations you’d had of the General and his behavior were rapidly changing. 

“You stupid, stupid girl,” his hand shot back out and you cowered, dipping out of reach. The venom in his attack sprayed out with forceful enunciation of the hard consonants of his insult.

“General Hux,” you dropped your voice and held your hands in front of you. Hux bared his teeth as he struck out and grabbed your forearms. He pulled you to him, twisting your arms behind your back. He repositioned his grip and used it to run you forward until your body slammed into the wall. Your chest tightened, and your head bounced off it. Without hands, you hadn’t been able to brace yourself, and your teeth bit a fresh hole in your lip.

His wide hand on the back of your neck held you in place, smearing your rusty cut against the grey wall. You struggled, but Hux repositioned himself, moving the hand off your neck to your cheek and leaning his weight against it. He held his torso above yours, only his hands held you.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” he hissed, adding more pressure against your cheekbone. The palm of his hand pressed harder into the softness of your temple. You clenched your jaw against it, flexing the muscle to protect the spot. The pressure spread across the bridge of your nose and seeped under your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Hux. Let me fix it.” you pleaded, voice distorted under his hand. 

Hux used your face to push off the wall, but kept the other around your wrists. He pulled them higher into the center of your back and pulled you over to the couch, where he threw you down. Your skirts billowed and fluttered behind you as you fell, landing on your forearms onto the long line of cushions. You pressed yourself into them, trying to make yourself smaller. 

Armitage Hux had always struck you as a _passionate_ and _methodical_ person, but he was acting manic and frantic. 

“Kylo already punished me, Hux. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that would happen. I still don’t know what happened…” you pleaded with him to understand.

“Oh, please,” he rolled his whole head at that. “The only thing he did was come in and fuck you,” Hux stood above you, hands now on his hips. You tentatively sat up. 

“What do you want me to do? I didn’t _do_ anything. It just _happened!_ ” as your voice started to rise, Hux took a step backwards - away from you. You stood and stepped forward, reclaiming the space.

_It would be really great if spontaneous combustion could just_ happen _right now._

Your lip stung. You dabbed the back of your hand against it, inspecting the dark red stamp of blood left when you pulled away. You wiped it off against the side of your leg, and repeated the process, satisfied at the blood smear getting smaller. The cut ached as you spoke. 

“Just let me out of here, Hux, and I’ll fix it…” you reached your hand out to him, but he smacked it away and crowded back into your face.

“You think it’s _me_ who has you locked up with guards? He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Please, I’d have executed you by now,” the ease with which he confessed rolled your stomach. 

You stepped to the side, moving away from the couch and towards your bedroom, putting the entryway table between you. 

“ _You…”_ he pointed his finger at you, he stepped towards you again, eating up the space in a handful of steps. His finger jabbed across the table and into the space in front of your face.

“Just like that stupid, fucking scavenger.” He slammed his fist down onto the table top. His hair had been shaken loose with the vigor of his angry movements. You saw the rims of his eyes were red, and the sclera of his eyes was shot through. 

“Hux, when was the last time you slept?” you switched tactics. You spoke to him like he was a scared and injured woodland critter. Swallowing, you reached out and gingerly laid your hand on his fist. It was cold and clammy, but heat poured off him. 

The resulting roar that ripped from him as he reached out and flipped the table scared a squeak out of you. As the table crashed into the ground, Hux stepped over the long line of the pedestal base, sneering, hands coming towards you. You heaved as his fingers curled around your neck and squeezed his hands. Your own scrambled up to his, trying to pull and pry his fingers away. You were bracing for the impact of the wall, but instead of being pushed backwards, you were being lifted. You stretched onto your toes as the pressure on your windpipe increased. 

_Fuck it._

You struck out with the heel of your hand. Hux hissed another curse and loosed his grip, and you twisted away under his arm, skirt twirling behind you like you were dancing, not fleeing. 

“You!” he was hissing at you again like a feral cat. “You insipid brat.” His finger was back, threatening the air in front of you. He advanced on you again, and you retreated. You moved in tandem. “ _You_ are going to get dressed. _You_ are going to be charming and delightful and beg your _fucking_ pardon for acting like such an out of control child. You’re going to _stop fucking_ Kylo and get on your fucking knees for the Ambassador and do whatever I tell you when I tell you” His screeching had reached its peak. You two had circled each other, and you’d moved in front of your bedroom.

“But why do you even need me at this point?” you asked, stopping and holding your ground. “At this point can’t you just ask Krelik to help kill Kylo?” Making a case for your disposability wasn’t the brightest move you had, but it was one of the few you did have. 

Hux chuckled, straightening his posture and taking a deep inhale. He used it to tamp back his rage, and he flashed an alarming smile at you. 

“Oh, you really are….” he ran a hand through his hair, righting the strands into their proper places. 

“Don’t finish that thought,” you warned him, eyebrows raised. This time you raised your finger at him. You chanced a glance behind you to estimate distance.. 

“You’re not needed, Treasure,” the disgust and contempt dripped off your new nickname. “You’re wanted,” You couldn’t help but recoil at the lewdness. “The Ambassador _wants_ you.”

“So you’re going to just trade me for support for the Hey-Ho,Overthrow-Kylo party you’re going to have?” you popped your hip and put your hand on it.

_Delusional. Completely delusional._

He scoffed again. “No, he would give that freely, but he wants to fuck you to fuck with Kylo.” He said it like it was nothing. Something out of the window distracted him for a second, and you made your move into the bedroom, locking the door before Hux could grab you. You rushed to your dresser, flinging open the top of the Holy Box and withdrawing your sabers, activating them and sinking into position. 

“You really think I don’t have override codes?” the door swooshed open and Hux confidently walked though, but stopped mid step at the sight of you with your sabers. He rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. 

“Cute and incredibly over-dramatic,” you glared at his condescending comment, rolling your wrist, careful not to hit the surrounding furniture. The whirring hum of the blade was loud.

“I have a blaster, you fool.” As if to prove his point, he un-holstered it, aimed and shot. You forced yourself not to flinch as it landed to the right of your head, leaving a charred circle on the wall. He motioned at you with the gun. “Are we done with this useless show?” 

You reluctantly lowered the sabers and collapsed the blades, still holding them at your side. Hux returned his weapon to his side and came to you. He kept stepping forward until your legs were pinned between the dresser and his. He reached out and plucked the heavy hilts from your hands and carefully put them back into their case 

“Fuck him, and you can leave,” he bargained, moving his right hand to cup your face. He clapped it twice against your cheek. His skin was soft and pillowy, but the sting of when he had slapped you stung fresh with his touch. He smiled at your discomfort and raised his eyebrows expectantly. 

You hissed out a long exhale that you weren’t aware you were holding back and shook your head against his hand in agreement. You looked at the floor, ashamed that this was now where things were. 

“Good girl, Treasure,” he dropped his hand from your face and stepped back. “Take a shower. You smell like failure,” he turned to leave, tossing the order over his shoulder. “He will be here in a couple hours. Do yourself a favor and make him feel like a man.” He stepped over the overturned table again on his way to the exit. You glared with hatred into the back of his head and through the door as he left. Sighing, you pressed your palm to your forehead, inhaling deeply before going to right that damn entryway table and doing what he said. 


	10. Throat Full of Bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kylo Ren invites himself to dinner

You were sitting cross legged on the couch, picking at pills in the fabric of your dress when the door opened and officers came rolling in with carts laden food and drink and all the accouterments. You spared a distracted glance, but went back to ignoring them as they set the table and arranged the food. They worked silently, and with the exception of the ventilation system, there was no noise other than the sounds of them completing their task. 

“Hello, Treasure,” The uptick of inflection at the end of the greeting had you nearly dislocating your neck as your head snapped towards the speaker. “I hear you’re throwing a dinner party, “ Kylo beamed a smile at you while he took off his gloves and slapped them down onto the table. He held the unsettling smile as he walked over to the couch and flopped onto it, jostling you with the impact. Face drawn, you watched as everyone tripped over themselves to leave the room. 

_Helpful. So very helpful._

“Supreme Leader,” you acknowledged him, schooling your face into something less repulsed and incredulous. “No, I’m not throwing a dinner party,” You stood and moved away to a safer distance, watching him throw his legs and arms out in a deep stretch. A throaty moan rose out of his chest as he fisted his limbs into the air then settled back down. 

“But that’s dinner?” Kylo crossed his ankles and laid his arms across the back of the couch, hanging his head over the edge and looking at you upside down. His hair swayed with his movement. He smiled again at you, and the big dimples that framed his gorgeous mouth were wide, one transected by scar tissue. 

With an arm across your chest, you held your elbow in the opposite hand and chewed on your thumb, nodding along. You watched his hair dance and then rest as he hauled himself up off the couch and over to you. 

“Who are you having dinner with, Treasure?” your thumb was plucked gently from your mouth, and you shoved the hand into the crook of the other arm, hiding it away from him. You shook your head. He felt big again. You looked down, watching his larger boots moving closer to your smaller ones as you stepped back and away. Within a few steps, you were against the wall. 

_Again._ You heard his laugh carried on his exhale. Casual Kylo was making you nervous. Your stomach rolled and your anxiety spiked.

_I swear to God, if he says something stupid like, “fancy running into you again here,”...._ you looked at his eyes. He held your gaze. _He’s just so fucking pretty._ And that annoyed you.

Lines spread like little rivulets out of the corners of his eyes and honey-brown irises streaked across you as he looked at your lips, your eyes, your chest, hands, neck. He smiled, sweetly. You could feel the warmth of his hand through the coolness of his skin when he reached up and cupped your cheek. You flinched at his touch, and his smile fled and his brow furrowed. He moved his fingers under your jaw, lifting and turning it to get a better look at you. Honey eyes darkened to molasses as he surveyed your swollen face. 

He stepped back - withdrawing - the change in him flashed through the room. It charged through you and stuck in your throat like a ball of bees. You were unsuccessfully in trying to swallow the buzzing back. The sensation continued to assault you. 

“Who is coming to dinner, Treasure?” The muscle between his left brow and hairline twitched as he asked again. 

“I’m having dinner with….” your mind blanked as his previous warnings slammed from memory into present. _Do not mention another name in my presence._ You were unable to answer, but tried to think it in a _really obvious_ way as to maybe get around it. 

“So you’re eating alone?” He folded his arms across his chest and bounced a couple of times on the balls of his feet, stretching. He was a pillar cloaked in black in a room of shadowed greys.

“Uh, no. There’s someone coming?” You pushed off the wall and ran your hands over yourself to right anything askew. Really, though, you just didn’t know what to do with them. You were not comfortable with this. 

_This is a trap._

No shit. 

“Who?” Kylo had the nerve to sound irritated, as if you weren’t following the rules he had created. 

“Hux?” he asked when you didn’t answer. You shook your head. 

“The Ambassador?” You nodded. 

He scoffed. “That man’s supposed to be terrified of you.” 

It was your turn to be surprised. Knowing the man was due any minute now to fuck you made you think he didn’t really think you were that scary. You shuddered internally. 

“Should he be?” Kylo lifted his chin at you, calling attention to the arms you’d wrapped around yourself as you paced. You dropped them then folded them again over your chest again after a couple seconds. It took almost all you had to stand still and keep yourself from swaying side-to-side. 

_The way I feel right now, probably._

His lips flattened and yours twitched in reply. Looking away from you ,he walked over to the table, pulled out a chair and claimed an empty spot. 

“Hope you don’t mind setting an extra place,” You gulped “I’m feeling peckish…” he held the final sound as he settled down, crossing his long legs at the ankles. He leaned back in the tall chair, slouching. You watched his long fingers slide between each other to rest joined in the center of his broad chest. The hairs on your neck and arms jolted at the memory of skin sliding against yours. 

You didn’t try to hide your pained exhale. 

“Would you like to have dinner with…..us?” The words were heavy because this was an absolute disaster, and he could 100% not have dinner with you. It may have been the hollowest offer you’d ever given. 

“Oh, not at all. Just you, Treasure.” Kylo answered, lounging back, head cocked, looking like a wolf about to enter the sheep’s pen. 

_What I wouldn’t give to be a chicken right now…_

“Sorry, Kylo, but that's not the plan.” You put your hands in your pockets and rocked lightly, rolling from your toes to your heels. 

“Oh really?” his interest was piqued, but he stayed slouched, looking like he was relaxing without a care in the world. 

“Nope,” is what you said, but what you meant to say was “ _This is a trap.”_ You rocked on your feet again and jiggled the dice in your pocket. They were back home where they belonged. 

“What was the plan?” 

You shook your head again. “I can’t tell you.” You rested on your heels, but snapped back into a proper stance as you realized you were mimicking what Kylo had done earlier. 

“I can't tell you, Kylo,” This had to be the most pointless conversation you had ever had. The man could literally read your mind, but instead he toyed with you. You bit back the urge to gag as you realized he’d probably known before he came through the door. 

“Why's that?” he adjusted his hands on his chest, wiggling into a more sitting position. 

You didn’t answer. 

“Is it because you're afraid of me.” 

You weren’t sure, and it caught you off guard. You ran your tongue over your bottom lip, back and forth. Back and forth. You zoned out as you got stuck in the implications of the question and it’s answer.

_Logically, yes. I am - and should be. Being around him feels like being struck by lightning while falling over the edge of a waterfall._ You hated it and craved more of it. 

“Ah, you're afraid of liking it.” was all he said as if that said it all. 

_It did not._

“You’re terrifying but I’m not afraid of you,” whether or not you were successful in making a statement rather than asking a question was debatable. You turned your head and studied the universe outside of the window. 

“You should be.” You weren’t apt to disagree.

“I know..” you pulled yourself away from your thoughts. The excited hunger in the pit of your stomach pinched with need. “So you feel that all the time….” The same spot near his eyebrow twitched again. 

“More or less…” he answered. “Sometimes it gets quiet,” he looked at you, holding your eyes, implication clear. The clarity made you uncomfortable and quiet.

“That’s terrible,” you almost choked on your answer. Your voice was not strong, and you were unable to break the eye contact he was holding you in. You weren’t sure if he was using the Force or if you just liked looking at him this much. You were hypnotized. 

“What is the plan, Treasure,” his deep voice growled over you, and every part of your body felt like it was being squeezed. Your eyes pinched shut, and chaos lit your blood aflame. You realize you were thinking about _it. The Plan._ You opened your mouth, but you couldn’t make yourself talk. It didn’t matter; your thoughts were swirling around in your head like the atmosphere on Krelik below. 

“I can hear what you’re thinking, Treasure. It’s okay, you can tell me,” his voice was cooing directly into your head. You felt like spinning static as your body was propelled forward by the flick of his finger. 

“No, Kylo, I - ” you squirmed as he sat you down across his lap, sideways, legs dangling along off the floor. He ignored you, fixing your skirts so they lay smoothly. You fussed at his hands, not wanting to be touched by them. You couldn’t look at him. 

_Ok, I’m a little scared now..._

“I thought you said you weren’t scared of me” you froze as he caught both your wrists in one giant, strong hand and put them into your lap, holding them down gently. His other arm wrapped around your back and pulled you against his chest. You moved with him, but refused to rest your head on his shoulder. You realized you could move now, but were smart enough to know not to. 

“What. was. the. plan” each word was its own order as he leaned in and nipped at your neck. Your face scrunched in pain as he bit you. You tried to twist away from his teeth, but wound up burrowing in the hollow of his neck.

“Kylo…I’m sorry,” you tried to hide deeper into the crook, nuzzling farther into a curtain of his thick hair. At this point, your mind was a puddle. You were watching your thoughts fly through your head. You felt stuck, watching your thoughts fly by. You felt them projecting out of you and being absorbed by him like sacred knowledge. His body tensed under you, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“Say it,” his voice was quiet but strong, and you tethered yourself to him as every hair follicle turned into glass shards and stabbed into your head. You gasped and lurched against him, tightening your grip around him. You didn’t want to. You pressed your lips against his skin, pressing kisses and apologies into his cheek. Your hands were now holding his face as you peppered more skin with more kisses and confessions. 

“Say it,” Kylo sat completely still, stealing your calm and replacing it with his chaos. You refused and continued your assault, trying to kiss an apology into his skin. 

“Say it!” he thundered this time, and you caved, crying as you spilled your secrets - and Hux’s and Krelik’s - against his temple. You panicked and tightened your grip as his hands on your hips began to push you off his lap. 

“No, no. don’t leave,” you tried holding on as he stood. He unwrapped your hands from his neck and held your hands at your side. There was no arguing. 

“Please don’t go,” you were surprised at how quickly you were begging, but if you could just make him stay, then you wouldn’t die. 

_This is treason. People die for treason_ . You grabbed his arm as he passed and tried to pull him back to you. _Because if you don’t kill me, Hux will kill me._ You were surprised when it worked.

Kylo stopped and jerked his arm from your outstretched hands and pinned you to the spot with a sneer. Your sniffles caught in your throat as you stifled them. 

“Don’t make me do it,” was your quiet plea, made to the floor as your head and shoulders fell, ashamed at your betrayal but also your willingness to still be part of it if it meant you lived. The muscles in his jaw tensed. He inhaled like he was going to speak, but let the breath woosh out.

“I don't want to die. Please.” You squirmed and looked back up at him when he didn’t speak. A sniffle snuck past your resolve, and you smeared it across your face with the back of your hand. Your tender face stung. 

Your heart broke as the door chimed and slid open. The Ambassador walked in. His smile fell as he took in Kylo’s presence and your tear streaked face. 

“Oh look, it’s the ambassador.” Kylo held your gaze, daring you. “Change of plans. Tell him, Treasure.”

The Ambassador looks at you, confused. It didn’t take long for his brain to catch up to the atmosphere in the room. He looked to you expectantly. 

_His eyes._ You couldn’t stop staring at Kylo’s eyes. 

“He knows,” your body was hiccuping with suppressed hysteria and tears.

_I don’t want to die._

“Why is she crying? Are you okay?” The Ambassador moved towards you, reaching for you in support. You held a hand up to keep him where he was, but you couldn’t bear to look at him. 

“Go on, Treasure. Tell him what the new plan is,” you shook your head, refusing. Kylo was at your face in two short strides. He looked down his nose at you and hissed, “I find myself continuing to repeat myself around you, and I will not do it again.” That same spot on his face twitched, and you sobbed as a new wave of pain radiated from deep inside your bones. 

You could hear the Ambassador speaking to you but it was indiscernible noise that blended into the background. Your only focus was on The Supreme Leader’s face and the feeling of your heart being squeezed.

“I’m sorry,” you were crying without care. “I don’t know. Just stop,” you begged. Kylo searched your face. Whatever he saw had him looking away, and you sagged into him. He stepped to you, allowing you to use him as support. Your arms curled up against your chest, you sandwiched them between your bodies and closed your eyes. 

“Treasure, why would I let the man who wants to kill me live?” The question sent chills down your spine. You didn’t bother answering. You just closed your eyes and allowed yourself to draw comfort from the source of your pain. You’d rested against him for less than a second before his hands on your shoulders forced you to stand tall. He held you at arms length as he told you to go wait outside. You shook your head no. You didn’t want to leave. If you left, _that man_ died. 

The Ambassador was frozen across the room, eyes darting between the two of you. Kylo’s hands still curled around your shoulders, your face was messy and pinked from the pain felt first from General Hux’s hands and now Kylo Ren’s mind. He watched as Kylo pressed a kiss to your forehead before turning you towards the door and telling you to wait outside. 

“Either go outside or watch this man die.” The instruction was clear and heavy in the room. You refused to look anywhere but the grey carpet. Like a coward, you went outside. And you waited. The door had barely sounded shut when the crackle of a lightsaber cut through the quiet. The metallic groan of a swing. The silence of its blade retracting. The door opening. 

Kylo’s hand gripped the back of your neck, forcing you to look forward and keeping you from looking back. It stayed there as he escorted you to his quarters. You didn’t feel permitted to look at him as he led you inside, so instead you looked at Krelik. Numb, you stood and considered the implications of what had just happened and your role in it. The view out of The Supreme Leader’s quarters was a slightly different one than yours, but it did nothing to distract from your guilt or trepidation. 

_Your name._

Kylo called to you. You wanted to look back - to glance over your shoulder at him, but you were still acting a scared fool. He sighed heavily, and a spark of bravery allowed you to leave your cowardice behind for a moment and seek him in the reflection off the glass. His hands were deep in his hair, pulling it to the back of his head for a second before pulling his hands all the way through and letting them drop against his thighs. 

He looked... _vulnerable_. You darted your eyes away as his shot to yours, but you and your thoughts were caught as they fled from him. Without your permission, your body relaxed into his as he moved behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle and pressing a kiss to your hair. He widened his stance, lowering himself to rest his chin on your shoulder. You were both quiet as you stood huddled together in front of the expanse of space. 

“I like the suns.” Your offering was delicate. You swallowed past the lump in your throat. “The purple one is my favorite,” you extracted your arm from his embrace and pointed to it. It was the one farthest from the planet. 

“It’s not actually purple,” you continued. “It just looks that way because of an overabundance of potassium.” Kylo hummed an acknowledgment in your ear and it rumbled down your spine and reverberated into your limbs. The aftershocks of which had long dissipated as the pair of you stood and watched the landscape of a planet belonging to the dead man in your quarters. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always feel like I'm forever chasing typos. Forgive me, Treasures, for I am my own worst editor.


	11. An Unhelpful Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we remember the dead guy in your living room.

It was still dark when you woke up; the triple suns were still hiding on the backside of the planet. It took a moment to orient yourself and realize the light you saw was coming from a small grey lamp on the opposite bedside table. The soft glow shadowed Kylo’s features as he leaned shirtless against the headboard, tragically awake, data pad powered off in his lap. He looked exhausted as he stared out the window. 

You sat up and settled against the headboard next to him. You’d let your hair down and braided it before bed, and it hung loosely over your shoulder, lying against the black of the tunic he’d given you to wear. You crowded your knees to your chest inside of it and wrapped your arms around yourself, taking the covers with you. You perched your chin atop them, sneaking peek at him. His chest was gloriously naked, and it was a blessed day because the scars transecting his torso did not make him look any less like he’d been carved from marble. 

Head on your knees, you turned to look at him openly. You studied him as his eyes closed slowly, lashes resting for a moment before fluttering open again. The bob of his throat as he swallowed. The corded muscles in his forearms as he lifted the data pad and moved it to the bedside table, head unmoving from its anchor on the headboard. The sound of the discarded electronic dropping onto the tabletop reverberated in your ears. Your eyes chased further, skirting his wrists and lifting across his palms and down the curved shapes of his closing fingers. Kylo moved his hands back onto his legs, palms flat against his thighs. He sighed deeply, eyes closing again, chest rising and falling. 

“Did you sleep?” you watched him fight to lift his lids. His tongue snuck out between his lips to wet them, but his lips still stuck together as he spoke. 

“Not really,” his voice was grainy and tired. All of him looked tired. He pivoted his head to the right and looked at you, body stretched and still. The scar on his face was flushed pink against his tired, pale coloring. . 

_He looks so sad and worn._ You held the end of your braid in your fingers, running it over one finger and under the other, twisting it into a curl between them. 

“I don't want you to leave this room,” you nodded in agreement without looking at him. The ease of moment was just as off putting as the intimacy of it. 

“So I can’t even use the refresher?” you lifted a corner of your mouth in a teasing smile, but your joke fell flat. The memory of sound echoed in your head - the muted carnage of the lightsaber through the walls of your former quarters. Kylo’s eyes dipped again, but he caught them midway. You sighed, letting your knees fall and criss-crossed your legs instead. 

“I’m sorry,” at your apology, he reached his hand over and placed it on your thigh. His long fingers squeezed gently, and the familiarity made you uncomfortable. He lifted his arm and motioned for you to come closer. Wary, you slid against his side, tensely tucked against him, confused that you’d try to find comfort from the person you should fear. 

“Hux?” you asked, quietly savoring being close to him with all your senses. You tucked your arms into your chest, unsure of where to put them, but - oh - this man’s arms felt like a warm bath. 

_Was that his thumb rubbing up and down your arm_. His touch was gentle and absentminded as his fingers danced against you, bumping against the edge of your sleeve.

_Technically, his sleeve._

Kylo took a deep breath and hushed you with his exhale. “He’s the least of your worries” 

You pulled your lips into your mouth, closing your teeth over them, scraping the tender skin against the sharpness of your bite. You alternated between tugging on the top then the bottom until he told you to stop. You were still nervous, your mouth was swollen and pink, but you weren’t chewing on yourself anymore.

“Did you intend to start a war, Treasure?” His arm around you tightened and his fingers stopped their dance across your arm. 

You shook your head.

_Obviously not. And here he was, cool as a cucumber, talking about war while he’s falling asleep._ You ignored the tug at your emotions because they were absolutely unfathomable and unacceptable.

“I’m meditating,” he spoke into the room, fingers starting their _up and down_ again. “You make me feel calm.” You didn’t have to look at him to know he was sitting there, eyes closed, head tilted back to the grey ceiling. 

You snorted. “You make me feel unhinged.” His fingers stopped again then started. His fingers were starting to feel like fire as they burned the same route along your arm

_Up and down. Again and again._ You shivered against the sensation, and he stopped completely. His body fussed a bit as he rearranged you against him. His free hand reached across his body and tugged your hands off your chest and laid them across his. Your head tingled and swam as his fingers pressed into your wrist as he moved them. You reached out tentatively with your fingers - an involuntary movement. You stopped yourself immediately. 

“We are delivering the Ambassador’s body to Krelik, “ Your attention snapped from the valley of his sternum to his face. 

_This is a horrible idea._ And you wanted nothing to do with it. 

“You will have a Knight with you at all times. You will carry your sabers at all times, do you understand me?” The relaxed tone of his voice was gone. He was The Supreme Leader now. 

“Wait, you’re sending me away?” you weren’t sure why you needed to be involved in this at all. This seemed like an equally terrible idea. 

“No, I’m giving you an order.”

_Wait, what time is it?_

You sat up, jumping across his body for the data pad and powering it on. 

“Ha!” you pointed at it triumphantly. The display was locked, but the time read early morning hours. Kylo raised an eyebrow, clearly not amused at where this was going. 

“Wait...an order? That’s the _first order? The first order_ of the day?” you laughed at yourself even though he refused to crack a smile. “Oh, come on, it’s no fun when you steal the punchline,” you smiled openly at him. The data pad screen you were still holding blanked as it timed out. The amusement you were hoping for didn’t come so you tossed it down on the bed and repositioned yourself out of his weirdly off-putting embrace to pout.

“It’s time to earn your life back,” you looked up from the stitching in the bed sheets. Kylo’s eyes were no longer closed and were tired no more. They were bright and demanding now.

_That’s a heavy statement._

“So, like, what?” you asked. “I just wait for you to be done with me?” You pulled your brows together and thought of your options. 

_Nope, none of those ended well._

“Treasure,” you were called back to the present, acknowledging him by unfurrowing your brows and raising them at him. “You could make yourself useful…” Kylo smirked, flashing a dimple and folding his hands behind his head, repositioning himself into a more comfortable position, lewdly raising his hips at you.

“Wow. I - I don’t even know where to go with that….” you blinked blankly at him. His smirk opened into a smile and you consciously tried not to sneer in disgust. Your chest constricted with inappropriate feelings; your thighs clenched _._

”On one hand, you’re absolutely adorable when you smile, and you shouldn’t weaponize it.” You stole his smile away and he folded his arms across his chest, glaring at you.

“On the other hand,” you raised yours, weighing your options in the air, “are you out of your mind? There’s a dead guy in my living room! A guy you murdered! And you want me to suck your dick?” The more you thought about it, the more insulted you were and more preposterous this tableau had to look from the outside. 

“Come on, don’t you want to serve your Supreme Leader? Isn’t that why you spilled the beans?” Kylo reached out, tugging your arms and pulling you closer. You jerked your arms away and leaned away from him. 

“Stealing someone’s thoughts isn’t the same as ‘spilling the beans’, Kylo” you scooched, putting more space between you and him. 

_There is so much to unpack here._

“Is it really stealing when you offered them to me?” He pulled you back against him, forcing you into the crook of his shoulder again. 

_He had a point._

You grumpily acquiesced, but only because he smelled good and was warm. You reached down and pulled the covers to your chin, watching them slide over his lap and creep up his chest as you greedily claimed them. You glared at the air vent on the ceiling as it kicked on more ice cold air. 

_Fucking freezing in here._

“You could have stopped me. I can teach you,” Kylo offered. You shook your head then put it against his chest. 

“Or you could just not…” you shot back, but it was a quiet rebellion You wiggled your shoulder, trying to maneuver the blanket over it. He lifted his arm and did it for you. 

“You really don’t want to be here?” his thumb tapped against your upper arm, and his voice was flat. He managed to remove the weight of emotion from a question that laid between you, heavy with implication. 

_It’s complicated._

You chewed on your lips again, trying to avoid saying the wrong thing in the wrong way because - again - there was a dead guy in your living room. 

_Because of him. He killed him. And we are fucking snuggling. And he killed a dude and.._.you cut your own thoughts off, and tried again. You tried to draw strength from your inhale.

“Kylo, I didn’t ask to be here. I’m here because your general hates you enough to kidnap me from my happy life in a monastery in the middle of the woods on some tiny Outer Rim planet to act like a pawn in his overly complicated plot to take you out. I was happy. He sent in a group of mercenaries and threatened religious pacifists until they agreed to surrender me. My superiors traded me for the temple, knowing I would probably die, but - hey - at least they’d have peace. And then nothing went right, and it shouldn’t even be going at all! I was done! I was out!” by the end of your rant, you had sat up and moved off of him, turning to face him in the bed. You were angry. 

_I was out._

“You were an assassin. That’s how he found you,” Kylo’s face was blank as he countered with facts. 

“Was,” you insisted. “I _was_ an assassin and then I wasn’t - I’m supposed to be a fucking nun, Kylo!” Your voice was buzzing in your ears, and you felt your skin heating, stinging the tips of your ears as they pinked.

“Oh, please,” he rolled his eyes. “You’re telling me that you’re mad that this is your life when you didn’t fight for it?” He looked down at you. “This is no one’s fault but your own. You chose this.” he scoffed, throwing the covers back and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. Next to him, the glowing lamp seemed in miniature scale. 

“Fight? How do you think women get to fight?” you were incredulous, and the beehive was back in your throat, choking off rationality. He had the decency to stay quiet and look at the floor. “We do what we are told or we die, Kylo. And I wasn't ready to die, and I sure as shit didn’t want to see anyone else die because of my selfishness, so here I am.” By now you had gotten to your feet and stormed to the edge of the bed. Kylo watched you throw your arms out and motioned widely at yourself. “Here. I. Am.” You seethed as your body hummed in anger.

Kylo stood, towering above you more in power than height. He looked down his long nose at you. His breathing was measured but hinted at erratic. He turned to face you straight on. It would take you three - four? - steps across the grey floor to be toe-to-toe with him. 

It occurred to you how picturesque both of your silhouettes must look against the view of Krelik. 

Kylo roared, spinning around and lashing out at the bedside table. Your yelp was drowned out by the shattering of the ceramic lamp and the toppling over of the furniture. You jumped and held your hand to your heart, trying to quell the panic as the lights went out. Your hand was riding the rapid rise and fall of your breathing as he turned on the overheads with a well placed hand slammed into the wall.

“And then you agreed to kill me!” Spit flew out as he stepped to you in one long step. He stopped in the middle of his next step and planted himself directly in front of you. You cowered, feeling out of control and too much. 

“I was tired of killing and if I did _whatever_ , I’d never have to again. I wasn’t even supposed to meet you,” You were crying again because now _you_ felt big. “Hux was supposed to kill you - not me.” 

_That hadn’t helped_. He glared.

“But you think people would want to fuck with someone like that? Someone who helped take you out? I’d never have to fight again. I could just go disappear. Again,” you knew you should stop talking, but you were incapable of it. You gulped at the air - tasted the tears that meandered their way into the corners of your mouth. 

“You need to control your mouth,” the anger pouring off of him was making you dizzy. You flinched as he grabbed your elbows to steady you. 

“I want to go home,” you pleaded quietly. Where his fingers touched you was burning now, but the longer he held you, the cooler the points felt. The bees were loosening the knot in your breath. 

“If you leave, you die,” He was still looking down at you, but with less anger and something more resembling pity, but you weren’t asking for differentiation, and he wouldn't have told you anyway. But he was serious and earnest.

“Why?” you gathered a hold of yourself. “I’ll disappear,” you bargained. He was still touching you, but you felt less like you were going to explode again

“They will find you,” He let go of your elbow and plucked your braid off your chest, sliding it behind your shoulder. “I’m not well liked.”

_Clearly._ You scoffed.

He sighed and you allowed yourself to lean your body back against his chest. 

“So I’m stuck here.” you were deflated quickly. He wrapped his arms around you, and you did the same, hugging the Supreme Leader like a fool.

_The single most mind-fucking thing that has ever happened in my entire life including blowing up a room by accident._

“Sorry, Treasure, but you can’t separate the treasure of a galaxy from her people,”you could feel the curve of his lips against your hair; he was smiling at his own cleverness, tightening his arms around you for a squeeze.

“ _You_ ,” you were having none of it. You pulled away to look at his face. He challenged you with a dimple. “You, Sir, are _one_ person. Not people. _Person._ ” 

He tugged you back against his body and rested his head on yours again. “I control all of the people.”

_Except the ones that want to kill you._ You rolled your eyes. 

“Well now those people want to kill you, too,” he reminded you flatly.

_Is that so? I guess we’re back to not being allowed a thought to ourselves._

“Why? What did I do?” you asked, dropping your arms. “- Besides not kill you?” You were ready to be released.

“Because I haven’t killed you.” You wanted to put your hands on your hips and mock him, but it occurred to you that you hadn’t asked the most important questions of all. 

“Do you want to kill me?” He picked your arms back up and put them back around his waist. 

“Are you going to kill me?” He put his cheek back against your forehead. 

“Are you going to let them kill me?” You were pretty sure he just sniffed your hair. 

“Things don’t happen unless I allow them to,” was his eventual answer. 

You rolled your eyes yet again, knowing he couldn't see you but forgetting the man was in your head at all times. Your hair was jerked back as he twisted your braid in his fist and forced you to look up at him. His broad body was tense. You shrank back, trying to relieve the sting in your scalp. 

Seemingly pleased with your submission, he released your braid and kissed your forehead. He took half a step back, taking your hand in his. You looked down at your joined hands, and he reached for the other. 

“Come to bed, Treasure. ” you followed him, crawling up from the foot and tucking yourself into a cocoon of fluffy sheets and blankets. Before getting in, Kylo hooked his thumbs into the waist of his pants and lowered them. He shucked them with a lanky ease and crawled into bed, naked as the day he was born but a completely different person. 

You turned away from him, but his hand on your shoulder rolled you back to face him. 

“Treasure,” he forced you to look at him. “We aren’t done fighting.” 

_Fuck. Me._

You wet your lips, immediately feeling him against you. Without hesitation, you arched into him. His mouth opened and tongues swam against each other. Your hands pushing away the bed clothes while he pushed at yours, sliding your underwear down your hips and throwing them behind him. His mouth was bitter, and his taste was shame and self loathing. You moaned desperately as his tongue swiped through your mouth again, pulling away and nipping at your lips and neck. 

You writhed, trying to move closer and under him. Kylo held himself up on his wrists, shoving his knees between yours and nudging them apart. No further instructions needed; you spread wide against him. He hunched over you, and you wrapped your legs around his back, heels pressing him into you. He sat up on his knees, pulling you up to grab his shirt off your back. It was tossed away, and his mouth dove onto your breast. You arched against his tongue and the scrape of his unshaven face, mewling as he released your nipple with a shiny pop before devouring the other. 

Feet planted flat onto the bed, your hips squirmed, impatient that you did not feel enough of him against you. Your hands were rooted in his hair as he continued his assault on your breasts, staying in control enough to keep your hips from meeting his. He pulled his face away, and you whined. 

“Where do you want to be, Treasure,” his hips dipped, and you moaned and jerked as the wide crown of his cock slid in the wetness of your slit. 

He sat back, hand wrapped around himself, stoking lazily. You propped yourself up on your elbows, watching as he dragged his head through your folds and slapped it against your clit. His hand on your knee kept your legs from slamming closed. 

“Treasure,” he reminded you he was waiting on an answer. You shook your head. 

“Here. I wanna be here,” you yelped as he reached up and twisted a nipple hard. Your teeth clenched and you humped the air, searching for him. 

“Where do you belong, Treasure?” you mewled back the same answer, stopping mid sentence as he pushed himself into you. Your breath was stolen as you looked down at where he split you. 

You cursed at the obscene sight of your squelching pussy milking him and let your head fall back. His eyes darted to yours as he pushed a ball of spit to his lips and slowly dropped it onto you. It was cold and warm and degrading and completely inconsequential as he began moving. You might have cursed again but you gave up and plopped your upper torso back onto the bed. His thumbs bit into the center of your thighs as your legs dropped open. 

“Who do you belong to, Treasure,” you refused to answer, shaking your head as he pumped into you, electrocuting that spot that would make you change your mind. 

You couldn’t keep watching him after he’d sucked his thumb into his mouth before pressing it into your clit, rubbing the sparks of an orgasm into the flames of one. You bore down on him, so close. 

“I don’t hear an answer,” the threat was there, but almost choked out by setting off his jaw as he pistoned into you. You were too frantic to keep up, and you knew it wouldn’t take either of you much longer. 

“Say it if you want to cum, Treasure,” you cried out as he removed his thumb and stopped moving completely. Your body gripped at him, trying to take him deeper inside of you. 

You whined and caved, giving him what he wanted. You were too close to allow him to ruin your orgasm. Laughing at you, he lifted you and twisted you over. You bounced and tried to stabilize on your hands and knees, but Kylo was there first, using an arm under your hips to position you and hold you still so he could drive back into you. 

The new angle had your head buried in the mattress, hands braced against the headboard, pushing back onto his cock as he fucked you, chasing his own orgasm. Your back arched you into the air as your orgasm barreled through you, triggering his. You convulsed around him radiating out, legs twitching in his grip. 

Finished, Kylo used your legs as leverage to remain upright as he pulled out of you, releasing a stream of sticky cum between your legs. You rolled over onto your back, scowling as you felt the wetness slithering out of you. He left you splayed out on the bed like an under-cooked egg with a broken yolk as he disappeared into the adjoining refresher. Eyes on the grey ceiling, you tried to catch your breath. 

A warm, wet something plopped on your stomach. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Kylo retreating back into the refresher. On your chest was a clumped up, damp washcloth.

_He’d thrown a wet cum rag at you._

Taking the hint, you cleaned yourself up, balling the dirty fabric in your hand and tossing it in the laundry chute. 

You disappeared into the refresher to wash your hands when he exited. You washed up and brushed your teeth with the spare toothbrush he’d given you earlier. As you came out, Kylo looked sheepish as you stepped around him righting the chaos of his outburst. The sections of broken lamp were stacked neatly on the bedside table. You chose to ignore him and got back into bed. You gave him your back and listened as he tossed the shards into the trash and dusted his hands off on each other. 

And then he stood there quietly. Awkwardly. As if he didn’t know the next move was clearly to get into the bed and go the fuck to sleep.

  
Deciding that was a _him_ problem and not a _you_ problem, you ignored it until he gave up and got in. The bed dipped and shook as he settled in, facing away from you. You two did not touch. He must have hit a button somewhere to shut off the lights. He held himself away from you, almost keeping his presence a secret as the darkness blanketed the room. Still tired from before, it didn’t take long before the blackness descended over your eyes and you fell back asleep, completely disconnected from the man beside you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As soon as I finished this, I made eggs and that was a mistake. That is all.


	12. What Did You Say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you have some nerve even thinking that - let alone saying that.

You woke up surprised that you’d slept so late. You looked around, scraping the crust out of the corner of your eyes before flopping back into the center of the majestically large bed. Being alone didn’t shock you, but you were a little surprised that you had been left unattended in the Supreme Leader’s quarters.

_Not like I can hide anything from him anyway_ . Even if you did bother to go investigating, it really wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t gain you anything other than punishment. So you looked without touching. As long as you did not open any drawers, it was just _looking_ and not snooping. _And that made it okay._

Everything in here was very... _not a lot._ Everything was massive and masculine. _Streamlined_ . There was nothing _extra_ in the room. Functionality over form, with the exception of a few pieces of generic decor sprinkled throughout - like the rugs besides the bed.

_No one wants cold feet in the morning._

_  
_You squished your toes into the deep plies and wiggled them down. It was deep and fluffy. The room was a bit sparse and militant, but it wasn’t cheap. You looked around slowly, turning a circle. It really did look like it had been designed for one of those fancy home furnishings magazines with thick, shiny paper that always came wrapped in their own clear plastic sleeves - lest the other mail sully them with their inferior envelopes.

_Yup, everything looked like no one lived here._

The tops of the dressers were clear. The closet was tidy. The refresher was clean. It was all so _orderly_ . You snorted again at your pun from last night - this morning.

 _Yeah, it was still funny._   
  


While wandering - and not-snooping - you found your belongings in the living room. It wasn’t much. A few bits of clothing thrown over the back of the couch, and your statuette and saber chest set carefully in the middle of the dining table. You walked to it running your fingers up the corner edges of the chest and up to the lid.The filigreed bone inlays were ridged, and they sang when your nails dragged over the striations in them. You undid the old, metal latch, and lifted the lid. 

You gently placed your hands across the weathered hilts. The first thing you had done after choosing them in the temple was unwrap the grips and let them breathe. You smiled. The memory of the delicate carvings being revealed as you peeled back the layers of dirty coverings heated a glowing tingle under your breast bone. You felt it every time you touched them. _Peace._ You had pinned your hope and future on that feeling just a few years ago. For the first time since, your smile gave out because you had been so very, very wrong. Sighing, you withdrew your hand and closed the sabers away. Peace was a luxury for people who didn’t run.

Choosing to ignore hope turning into apprehension in your chest, you grabbed a new set of clothes and showered. You hurried through the motions. The idea of being caught naked and showering - it was too vulnerable. So you rushed through, not doing anything other than rubbing yourself down with your hands and hot water. Using the shampoo and other things in the shower was more intimate than someone who wasn’t snooping should be. Still, you hesitated before grabbing a big, floofy towel off the wall mounted shelf and drying off. Putting on your own clothes helped, but it didn’t help you forget there was still a dead man in your quarters. 

_They probably got him by now? I wonder if they know yet? Are they going to come for me? Is he going to come for me?_

The statuette of the Goddess on the table called to you, and you answered, taking her and placing her on the window ledge, framing her in the sights of Krelik. You watched her as you settled on your knees, sitting back on your feet. You shifted lightly, tugging your skirt out of the way, and then placed your hands palm up on your thighs. Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply through the nose, exhaling through lips pursed in a tight circle. Your exhale was forceful and slow; you drug it out until you wanted to gasp for more air. You repeated the exercise until the need to gasp was raw. You reached in, turning the need into an ignorable want. Focusing on the sacred image of the Goddess in your mind, your body tried to settle into the meditation.

Pushing around in your mind, your thoughts started to pass by - like friends leisurely walking up and down a familiar street. Then Doubt and Guilt joined in, bringing along Catastrophe and Hyperbole and little by little, quiet little Memory Lane had turned into a crowded hubbub full of chaos. Everything was one big, bright montage of fault and your part in _everything_ , past and way-before-past included. What had happened. The ridiculousness of it. The violence, the desperation, anger. 

You pulled another deep breath, the sound of the lightsaber hissing in your ear. 

_Guilty._ _Another one_.

Your memories flashed back to your previous life - before you’d found your escape.

_What had once been your escape. It was supposed to be your escape._

Violence was a familiar trauma. You remembered so many dead bodies with their greying skin and normal eyes. Guilt slithered into the center of your chest where the tingle was suffocating out. It felt like each memory that slithered by was being pulled from inside the goey marrow of your breastbone. As it tugged out, the memories expanded like a string of paper dolls as you remembered the people who had killed - directly and indirectly. Even by accident.Your heart burned and stung as if yesterday’s beehive in your throat had turned in on you and was exacting vengeance. 

  
Shaking your head to clear it, you paid attention to your breathing again. Staring to sway side-to-side, you let habit run, chanting the melody of prayer. You tapped your fingertips to your thumb in time with the words. The cadence of the prayer bloomed. The frequency of it set you buzzing like those little, imaginary trapped bees, but instead of being caught in a ball stuck in your throat, it radiated throughout your limbs. Your skin tingled like it was being kissed by the suns outside and you warmed from the inside out. The base of your skull felt like a hand was hovering above it - nearly touching - just brushing against your hair.

_Synchronized transcendence._

You continued to recite your prayer, knelt before the Goddess presiding over Krelik, offering your prayer of peace - feeling as if you were floating as you purged the chaos of the now to replace it with calm contentment. The room stayed quiet as your voice dropped to a whisper and then only to the sounds of your mouth moving. Every enunciation was background music played on your soft edged mouth. 

The door hissing open and clomping, angry boot falls storming in tainted your prayer and pulled you back into the present. Kylo’s presence was wide and tall, snapping the needle in your chest and breaking it off. You were careened back to lucidity: kneeling in front of a windowed wall, giving the Supreme Leader your vulnerable back. Sharpness exploded in your chest as his fury spilled. Your eyes closed against it and rolled your shoulders back. You leaned your head back, shaking it and rolling it in a wide circle. Your heart ached.

_What are you playing with, Treasure?_

You pulled your brows together, pinching your eyes shut tighter. You hadn’t seen him, but you didn't imagine he looked happy.

_He sure didn’t sound happy._ You groaned with the effort it took to ignore him and focused on preventing him from going deeper into your head. _Just like the dance. Focus on your intention._

Instantly, the needle was pulled from your chest, and your lungs exploded into exhale, your body falling back flat onto the carpeted floor. Your hands immediately went to your chest, holding against the pain there, gasping for air. Your ribs felt bound. You opened your eyes. The grey ceiling above was blacked out. Kylo was standing above you, hair falling and shadowing his face, obscuring his soft features. You searched his face, accusingly. You pressed your lips to keep from making this worse. His under eye twitched as he recognized your confusion as terror.

Arms hanging at his sides, he flicked his fingers, and your body was upright, hovering at his eye level. He glared at you, reaching into your head and displacing your prayer with his curiosity. Feet dangling, you kicked out lightly, trying to get something solid underneath you. He was holding you in the air, staring into you. Kylo refused to let you look away or hide your eyes. 

_I felt this all the way on the bridge._

His eyes bore into yours like he was using your pupils as a tunnel directly into your brain. He forced himself through the flimsy barriers you barely had the time to throw up, poking around curiously through your head. He was careless as he rummaged through your thoughts and memories as if he was flipping through that home furnishing magazine from before. 

_Amazing how it only took seconds of being near him to ruin you._ Kylo lifted a finger and poked you in the center of your forehead. The needle began pulling from above your eyes. Your eyes started to burn as he continued to control your body, not allowing you space or autonomy.

_What’s going on in this pretty little head?_

He asked into the space behind your conscious mind. His face is calm and unmoving, boyishly charming. He looked like he’d skipped his morning shave, and the black scruff was bright against his cool skin, making his scar look brighter. You wondered if it would have been less noticeable if he had cared for it better. You let your thoughts scroll about him.

Kylo Ren took advantage of your distraction and violently bulldozed his way past the rudimentary block you’d thrown up and pulled out a history.

_Dingy, dark, hiding food in your shoes at night in case someone went rummaging when their own stomachs sat empty._ You felt the sting of the cane carried by Overseer. He used it to keep you in line in both body and mind, and it felt as if it was striking out against you now. 

_The mixed smell of drug use and abandonment that bled through the man’s pockets and onto you as credits pressed into your palm. Always smile and thank them._ Those were the rules. If you didn’t follow the rules - the cane. 

_Being shuffled - each place still smelling of drugs and unclean sex._ Those rooms were sparse, too, but they were more cheap and dirty and bare. The places you’d go were fancy and clean. _Like here. Like home._

Your mind jumped to the Temple and how you arrived there. _The iron tang of blood staining your clothes as you wiped your hands on them and stepped over the body and ran. And then more bodies and more bodies and more bodies._ The casualties were the cost of running and hiding.

_The burning in your palm as your hand tangled in the cargo net, holding on to keep you from being jostled around the hull of the ship you’d snuck onto. The smell of the dirt as you snuck away from the landing site crawling on your hands and knees. The terror you felt when you’d been caught - four planet hops and two systems later._ Standing in front of The Recruiter for appraisal. Being sent for training, fighting, learning - being deemed _salvageable_.

_Good luck, my dear._ She’d dropped something into your hands, closing your fingers around it with her own. _Being sent out on a mission. Then another. And another. Until luck ran out and you panicked, slicing his throat with so much force that his head was nearly severed._ Panic. Liking that you’d killed him; liking killing his soldiers who came at you. Full on mercenary escape mode. _They had deserved it._

Your eyes were glass now. You were in your own memories, no longer present or aware of Kylo.

Biting back bile, you felt the panic and darkness growing. _Running. Training and hiding. Finding contentment. Running again and losing it._ Feel the panic and darkness growing _. Learning about The Order of Te’Ka. Running away to there. Training there. It was so different. Searching through the artifacts, finding your sabers. Hux’s face. Hux storming your order with troopers to get you. Dragging you away. Your refusal. Kylo_ -The sound was sucked out of the room and the change in pressure losing your knees - _an angel with the suns of Krelik illuminating a halo behind him. This man would not be your Savior._

You’ve been fighting and resisting but his force was feeding off yours, a parasite chasing after your peace and quiet. Raw from the effort and determination you needed to summon it in the first place, you pushed back against him, trying to force him out. You started to chant again, dragging your eyes closed and severing the connection. They shot open again in a second. You pushed him back with an unsure grunt, calling to the saber on his hip with your outstretched fingers. As it slammed into your palm, you white knuckled it. It was heavy.

  
  


Kylo shot his hand out, grabbing yours as you held the saber, sliding the heavy hilt from your fist as he dropped you to the floor. You landed in a dramatic pile of twisted limbs and black skirts. Your hand went against your heart again, but the burn had stopped. Now the ache was coming from deeper. You watched out of breath as Kylo crouched down and chastised you as if you were a child. He offered his hand to help you stand, but he repulsed you. Standing on your own, you turned away from him, shuffling back towards your spot on the carpet where you’d been content before he’d interrupted. As you sat, you took the time to smooth your skirts out before turning your palms up on your thighs to receive. You started your prayer again. 

Even with your eyes closed, you could feel him stalking you while he paced the room. You were determined to ignore him, but were only semi-successful. Kylo was dramatic in everything he did. He continued to stalk you as he walked. You tried to push him away again. Out of your periphery, you could feel him moving around until he sat on the sofa. He sunk onto the couch longways, unclipping his lightsaber hilt from his belt. He watched you, fidgeting with the metal hilt.

Shaking your head to clear it, you tried to focus back in and regain the calm he’d stolen, but every time you began to transcend, it felt like he was nudging you down with the toe of his boot. 

“Do you mind?” you snapped at him. You bit the tip of your tongue to keep from openly leering at him. That time spent purging the negativity and drama - centering yourself - meditating - all of it had been wasted by him. You sighed heavily and glared at him over your shoulder. The way you felt made you bolder than you were wise.

“Remember who you are, Treasure,” He didn’t bother to look at you, as if you weren’t worth the minimal effort it would take to slide his eyeballs over to the other corner of his face. 

_Condescending asshole._

As if someone would do you that kindness.You cursed at him under your breath and stood, walking away to find shoes. You needed to get away from him. He was making your skin crawl, and his very presence was grinding on your presence. You tugged your boots on, leaning against the wall to balance while you tied the short laces. You huffed when - as expected - the door refused to open. You poked a couple of times at the useless command panel on the wall. Nothing happened. The panel was fine. The door worked just fine. But Kylo Ren in all his might and power was refusing to let you leave. You spun on your heel and turned towards him, hands flying up to your heart again at the crackle of his lightsaber powering in. 

Long and lean, Kylo is draped across the couch, back leaning against the armrest. One large, booted foot was flat on the floor, knee bent. The other was stretched out across the sofa cushions. The electric zapping of the blade made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You were transfixed; you watched as Kylo raised his arm, pointing the lit blade upwards. Feathery specks of char and ash wafted down as he stamped burn holes into the ceiling. He batted them away from his face as they fell. 

“Are you forgetting something?” You moved your head from side to side just the tiniest bit. He powered off the blade, and tossed it into the air, catching the opposite side and holding it out to you. He motioned at you again when you didn’t move or respond. His face was flat but earnest.

“Take it again.” 

Took a second to register. “I took that.” The hand on your chest dropped, and your face formed the perfect little surprised shape. 

“Take it again.” he repeated, motioning towards you with it. He sat up, swinging around so both feet were on the ground. 

“I don’t know how.” you snapped, still angry in your wonder. You crossed your arms over each other and toed at the carpet. 

He rose. “Hold your hand out.” 

You shook your head. _No._ Still you kicked at the carpet, standing in front of the door. You wanted nothing to do with that thing. It represented all his evil and sins. _No._

“You want to kill me; use that. Pull it. Take it. Just take it.” He was insistent, standing up and stepping towards you. When he stepped forward, you stepped back. He stopped. In that moment, you realized you didn’t want to kill him, and now he knew too. 

Smirking, he dropped his hand and attached the saber back on his hip. He was quiet, waiting for you to speak. 

“You make me angry, and I don’t like being angry,” and you were still very angry, even if you did feel hopeless and defeated. And so incredibly frustrated. Your eyes were still burning, and you wanted to give up and let him take over your head completely. 

_There’s a dead guy in my room._

“No, it’s only you and me, Treasure,” the Supreme Leader commanded your attention again. He shifted, trying to soften his movement towards you. You felt his force snaking around your body, finding new ways to get in. 

“Get out of my head.” You pressed your eyes closed, guarding yourself against him. 

_Make me._

You bore down, eyelids twitching with the effort to keep him away from you. Your fingers twitched under the exertion. You balled and released your fists. It felt like you were being lurched forward as you hoisted the weight of his mind away from you. 

_Why are you so angry?_

Whether you had asked audibly or not, he heard you. Pushing back against him, your power advanced. Kylo felt cold and dark; his mind felt like a small locked cage with veneered black walls of liquid or stone or maybe it was liquid stone. You felt like you were spinning around, looking for an answer. 

“You let her die.” Everything zapped away. Your gaze and connection severed. Your eyes flew open, and you stared at him incredulously. His mouth hung open for a moment. Your stomach dropped.

He was looking over your shoulder and not your face. His face was soft but set. You could see the shape of his tongue as it ran across the back of his lips. 

You pressed back into the connection, re-establishing it. Your eyes narrowed, and you tried to grasp onto the understanding that was sparking. You inhaled sharply as you pushed through. 

He warned you with a glare. His lower lip twitched

“You regret it,” there was no way you could have received this information unless he allowed it, but the heavy bob of his Adam's apple as he swallowed let you know that he hadn’t intended to.

You pushed your way back into the black room in his mind. 

_So that’s what has you so fucked up?_

A sliver of light appeared horizontally along the floor, like a light shining underneath a door. There was no door, no outline of one. Just the light. You stepped to it, reaching for it, knob materializing in your hand.

_After all this, you still doubt yourself._ You twisted and pushed against the door. It held tight and didn’t budge.

“ _You annihilated millions,_ ” you hefted your shoulder against the door and pushed.Your shoulder ached as if you’d physically done so.

_You murdered your father._ You rammed against it again, and it opened a few inches before being forced back closed.

_Your mother died knowing you betrayed everything she dreamed for you._ It gave about half way before slamming closed again.

_And you’re angry over a girl you barely knew?_ This time the door flung open before you made contact, and you fell forward and down into a black spiral. You felt like you were being flung backwards, further down into the pitch black. Disoriented, you had no time to react, and it was only by his good graces that you stood alive. Everything not bolted down in the room was in the air, being flung at you. Chairs, cups - all of your things on the table. The statue of the Goddess shattered at your feet, shards bouncing off the floor and spilling across in front of you. You swooned, closing your eyes back to the dark as the Force bore down on your throat. Incoherent pain left you a mute rag doll. Your eyes resisted rolling back in their sockets; Kylo’s black silhouette was a hazy black blob as he sauntered over to you. 

He was speaking, but you couldn’t make out anything over the roaring in your ears and the throb of your pulse as it burrowed into your sinuses. Grabbing you by your hair, he pulled you from the floor. You didn’t know you’d fallen, but now that you did, you knew you’d been sliced up by the glass pieces you’d landed on and you felt the pain. Still unable to breathe, your knees gave out again as the little slivers worked their way deeper as you tried to follow his directions and stand. But instead of rising, you struggled to keep from blacking out. Your vision was tunneling, and all you could focus on was the fuzzy outline of his boots. And then you were on the floor again.

You were splayed wide on your back, skirts tangled in between your legs.The glass made tinkling noises as the pieces fractured further into the grey carpet under his black heel. When he stopped, toes close enough to kiss, you tried to roll yourself over and crawl away, but the debris field was impossible to maneuver while you couldn’t catch your breath. The breath you did have was forfeited as you screamed. Your body jerked to face him. 

All humanity had been stripped from his face. You tried to tug your arm back to your chest, but Kylo rocked forward, putting pressure on your wrist, trapping it under the arch of his boot. You cried out, but knew better than to try again. You sputtered on the floor. 

“Every moment you’re alive is pity. Do not mistake it for mercy.” he rocked on your wrist again. Staring up from on the floor, he towered above you. You struggled to focus on him.

He lifted his foot and nudged your arm out of the way. Kylo crouched down, sucking his teeth with his tongue. Your head lolled as you turned your head away. Your breaths were still pulling heavy but slowing down. Little by little you were catching your breath; you felt drunk and disoriented. 

_I wish I was high._ The grey ceiling was still hazy and spinning. _It looks like Krelik._ Searing, silent tears betrayed you as they skirted out of the corner of your eye into your hair. You blinked them away. Everything felt thick, and you wondered if he was still laying the Force over you. You didn’t bother trying to move. You wanted to curl up and roll away, back to your own quarters.

_I wonder if the Ambassador is still there?_ You two could be the best, most dead friends ever. _We can invite Hux and make it a party._ Your eyes leaked tears.

Kylo still crouched beside you, elbows on his knees, watching you. You finally turned to look at him. You winced as you swallowed. 

“Oh, Treasure,” he sighed deeply, perched beside you. He eyed your body, up and down. “You need to remember why you’re here.” You were no longer as ready to die as you had been when you had first arrived, called by Hux for this stupid, suicide mission that you had been forced into. 

“Get up,” he stood as he gave the order. You choked out a laugh that hung itself up on a whimper. 

_The impossible task._

“I said get up!” He leaned forward as he yelled, arms flung back, hands fisted, propelling him towards you as he screamed. You cried out; Kylo was dragging to your feet again by your hair. Desperate, you focused all your energy into manipulating your body into doing what it was begging not to do. You teetered when Kylo shoved his hand out of your hair, but you stayed upright. Barely. 

“Stop sniveling,” his voice was becoming calmer and more detached, and you feared it. Sucking your breath, you hastily swiped at your face with your hands. Without thinking, you cried out. You’d forgotten you’d been laying in glass. 

  
  


“You’re not with The Order any more, Treasure.” You mourned over the broken relic as you picked the pieces from your hands before lowering them to your sides. You looked down, watching your skirts recede across the floor like the tide kissing the shore as it came in. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath - reminding yourself that broken and lost things were just things. 

_We can replace them_ . _I’ve lived through worse._ You knew he was trying to make you doubt yourself. 

Kylo scoffed openly at your affirmations. He held his hands behind his back and stepped to you. You swayed again as you looked up at him. He brought his face close, rubbing his nose along your cheek. 

“I could blow you over with a feather right now,” he was amused by your disarray. He took a step backwards, leaning his weight into his back leg, tapping his toe as the corner of his mouth twitched. You watched and waited for him to speak. 

“Take off your clothes.” Your brow furrowed. You didn’t think you could. In response to your thoughts, he raised an eyebrow and put his hand on his hip, hovering near his saber hilt. The threat was clear, if not grandiose. 

You closed your eyes again, trying to drown out your repulsion and fear with calm. Lines of prayer repeated in a loop in your head. You watched them running like spools of ribbons, the long and dramatic shapes of the ancient letters dipping and swirling as they unfurled. Kylo slammed into your head at full speed, tearing through memories as if he’d barreled into your mind with lightsaber swinging. 

Opening your eyes, you stumbled backwards. Kylo had drawn his saber on you, and it’s blade crackled deafeningly loud. It hadn’t felt this loud earlier. The heat off the tip felt like it was burning a hole between your eyes as he held you at its end. His order repeated in your head. You wondered if you could move away from the pile of mess, but Kylo answered that by nudging closer with the saber. 

Swallowing, you scooched back the tiniest step you thought he’d allow and reached down, gripped your skirts and began lifting them. You pulled them up, gathered the bodice and pulled it over your head, reciting the melody of the chant. You hadn’t realized you’d started humming it. You tensed, expecting some sort of reprimand, but when it didn't come, you peeled it off your arms and dropped it to the floor. 

You looked away from the blob of black on the grey floor when Kylo motioned at you with the saber again. You looked right back at him. His mouth was drawn flat, and his lips disappeared white in a firm line. His exhale growled, nostrils flaring. His cheeks were flushed within his anger in just the sweetest tinge of pink.

You shook your head and kept humming. He nodded, eyes locked on yours. You swallowed thickly, once again forgetting that the move hurt, clenching your eyes shut against it. Again, your subconscious took over. Eyes still closed, mind still chanting, mouth humming, you took off your bra and underwear, almost falling over as the latter got caught on the small heel on your boots. 

His voice pushed at your thoughts, instructing you to take those off too. You focused on yourself and your prayer, closing the door in your mind against him, as you removed them, tossing them at his feet. 

_Naked degradation. Haven’t done this in a while._ You refused to be shamed by his power play. You lifted your chin in acceptance, but the way you chewed your bottom lip betrayed you. This was at least familiar, and that made you feel confident. Kylo Ren would never feel familiar so you also felt alone. Your loneliness distracted you momentarily.

“Take down your hair.” 

“What?” you did a double take, hearing him clearly. Your hands reached up and touched the remnants of the bun on the top of your head. It was more down than up at this point thanks to The Supreme Leader. Eyeing him distrustfully, you pulled the tie from it. You squirmed uncomfortably as it settled over your shoulders and down your chest. You pushed it back behind your shoulders. Having your hair down in front of anyone - let alone him - was more disquieting than being naked while standing in a pile of living quarter shrapnel. 

_And that was the point._

You shifted nervously, convincing your face to remain neutral in spite of the pain in the soles of your feet. You bit the sides of your tongue to distract you. You wondered if you were bleeding on to the floor.

The two of you stood there in silence. Him, towering and dark, leering at your body. Your refusal to feel shame stripped any sensuality from your nudity. Kylo sniffed and twitched his nose, clearing his throat as he startled circling around you. The crunch of his gait had you reaching for your wrist, rubbing the swollen, red skin. You followed him out of the corner of your eye, holding your breath as he walked behind you, exhaling roughly through pursed lips when he rounded your side. Reaching the start of his circle, he slowly turned on his heel, reversing to walk behind you again. You didn’t trust not being able to see him.

“Treasure,” his voice was hot, wet and heavy by your ear. You shivered as tingles ran from the base of your skull, rushing forward to lull your eyelids closed. He hushed you, running his hand over your hair. You stood still as he pet you, sliding his hands on top of your head and ran them down over your shoulders and trailed his fingers along your spine. You shivered as his other hand scraped against the back of your neck, gathering the strands into a column of hair in his fist. You winced as he tugged backwards, testing his grip. Your head snapped back before bouncing up as he released his grip. He walked back around to your front, arms across his front, hand propping his chin up. His fingers drummed against his cheek and his brows lowered, head wagging back back and forth as he decided his next move. 

“An hour.” He dropped his arms to his side then brought them back up to his hair. The corner of his mouth ticked up at the question on your face. He stuffed the smirk away and hid it with a jeer. “Should only be a day or two.” he tugged on the bottom of his tunic, watching you. 

_You were going to Krelik? No._ Your mind conjured up an image of a man sliced and smoking on the floor. You’d always thought it was weird that people killed by sabers didn’t bleed. 

“Bring your sabers. I have plans for you.” You nodded because what else could you do. He’d clearly made up his mind about something, but didn’t find you important enough to share what it was. Kylo looked you up and down, “Do not put those back on. You belong to me now.” He pointed to your clothes on the floor. You kept nodding like a simpleton. He gave you another hard look, nodding his head sharply at you and left, clearing a path to the door with a wave of his hand. After the door closed, you let out all the nervous breaths you’d been holding and hobbled to the refresher, determined to take another shower and cleanse yourself of all the thoughts that he had put you through and dig as much glass out of your skin as possible in the next hour. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I rewrote this entire thing three times? It was just awful, and then I hated the next one, and then I wound up with this. I feel so bad that it took so long, so I hope you love it and forgive me for the lack of smut. I swear, I had very smutty intentions for this, but it was awful. I owe you, dear Reader. (Also, I'm sorry for any typos. I need an editor)


	13. Bargaining Chip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everything is a power play

_The asshole knew what he was doing._ You looked at yourself in the mirror. The clothes that had been dropped off for you were similar enough to what you normally wore, but were also open enough to put you on display. The dress was still plain, old, normal black, and it still dusted the floor when you moved. You scrunched the knit fabric and shook the skirt out. It was wide, gathered at your waist, and it probably would spin open to your waist if you twirled, but you refused to find any enjoyment or amusement in it. Even if you _really_ had to try hard not to. 

_This was another power play._

  
You looked down at your arms. The sleeves were square little caps on your shoulders, showing off your skin and the lovely collection of bruises and cuts and scrapes you’d been accumulating since arriving. Your wrist was swollen and cuffed with a dingy brown bruise across your wrist. Too many little scrapes to count - like freckles only violent. Compared to the kaleidoscope of colors around your neck, though, they were nothing. This dress was close, and served its purpose well. The silhouette of the dress was similar enough to show how gracious he was in allowing you something _close enough_ , but the wide, square neck left your chest open. The way the neckline cut bluntly across the top of your chest, keeping your breasts hidden was another show of pity from him. You would have been fooled into considering it kindness, but you refused to be manipulated into thinking it was anything other than a reminder that you had no autonomy. You’d pretty much ruined any chance for that, but even thinking you had a chance was proof enough that his games worked. You swallowed softly, face scrunching at the tenderness. You accepted the dress for what it was: a way to display his violence against peace, a proclamation that Kylo Ren feared no repercussions. He controlled all. 

_Almost all._ You twisted your hair back into your normal bun, knowing he would just take it down later. Whether he’d be using it as a handle or a lead, you knew it would be done, so you might as well use it to fly a finger in his face.

The door opened in the main room. You breathed in sharply and held it. You stood by the end of the bed, hands frozen mid air in front of you. Your eyes fluttered, and you swayed, feeling him through the door. When he came through, you reached your back and lowered yourself on the edge of the bed. You started breathing again when his boots bumped your toes. Stretching back, you looked up at him. Your face was flat in a mix of frustration, apprehension and betrayal. His chest rose when he looked down at you. You caught the smallest twitch along the dark line of his lower lashes, and how he sucked his cheeks in to bite the insides. He chewed the skin, thinking. 

You watched him lift his hand, eyes skirting, noting the tiny stitches in the seams of his gloves, black bumps of texture in the smooth leather. His hand came up, cupping your chin, and stroking down your neck, splaying his wide hand across your chest. The gloves skipped against your skin.Your heart spat out its beats under his spread fingers. One hand on your neck, he stepped back, inspected you again and dropped his other hand. Turning his attention back to your face, he slid the hand still around your throat to cup your jaw. He moved your head right then left and then lifted your chin. He rubbed his thumb slowly across your lips. Without thinking about the consequences, you nipped out at it. 

“Bold choice,” he raised his eyebrows, pulling his thumb from your teeth and motioning at your hair, the movement shaking his own. 

You blinked blankly back at him. He ignored you. 

He told you to stand, and you did, moving out from the bed, arms held out and up for another appraisal. You huffed and rolled your eyes, and turned in a slow circle when he held his finger up and drew the shape in the air. 

“Take it down,” you scowled at him, but did it anyway. 

_Because he had already thrown a room at you. What other option was there?_

Kylo moved over to you, putting his hands on your arms and moving you in front of him. Your back against him, he continued to move the two of you until you were both at the edge of the bed. He moved you forward a step so he could slide out from between you and the bed and disappeared into the refresher. Nervous, your stomach gurgled as you fisted and unballed your hands in pattern while you waited for him to come back. 

His voice in your head told you to sit on the floor, so you did. You faced the window, leaning back against the bed, closing your eyes and sighing. 

_Whatever game this was…_

You heard and felt the bed sag he sat down behind you, moving his legs to flank you. The hair on the back of your head stood up as he moved so the inside of his thighs against your shoulders, feet pressed up against your bottom. Without questioning, you scooted forwards when his voice in your head told you to. When you settled, his feet moved again to keep in contact.

Kylo draped his arm over your shoulder, fingers spread, waiting for you to remove his gloves. Apprehensive, you tugged each finger free before pulling it off and setting it in your lap. He removed his hand and presented the left one over your other shoulder. You repeated the process, being careful not to touch him - only the glove - and held them up for him to take. Your body felt electrocuted when he purposefully ran his fingers over yours as he took them. 

You nearly jumped out of your skin when Kylo brushed his fingers through your hair and separated it into sections. He repeated the motion with his other hand, alternating them back and forth, brushing your hair with his fingers. 

_This has to be the most surreal thing I’ve ever experienced._

Regardless, your scalp was tingling as he wiggled his fingers deep into your hair, squirming them down to the roots, scraping lightly against your scalp. He gripped your hair, using it to gently tilt your head back until you were looking up at him. He loomed above and behind you. Lips parted slightly, you pushed out a centering breath; the ends of his hair moving in your exhale. Not trusting your ability to keep your thoughts to yourself, you recalled your prayers, running through the ancient text mindlessly. You could see the words behind your eyes, seeing them on the pages you’d studied.

Wordlessly, he lowered your head again, tucking your chin down to your chest. He released his hands, and there was a brief moment of still silence before he slid the brush through your hair. You whipped your head around, looking at him questioningly. His answer was to to put his hands on the sides of your head, still holding your brush in one, and turning you back to face the window. 

“Stop moving,” he ordered. You drew your knees up to your chin and rested on them. You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around your knees, wincing at the tugging on your scalp.

“Sit right,” he sighed while he admonished you. You huffed and lowered your knees down and crossed your legs. He tugged at your hair again in warning. Rolling your eyes, you sat back up.

You quieted down and sat dutifully, starting back in on your prayers while Kylo began brushing your hair. You recited in time with his strokes, closing your eyes and leaning against him. His fingers dug into your hair again as he sectioned it out and began plaiting it. His fingers deftly pulled tight on each strand before weaving it through the rest. The braid was flat against your scalp, tugging your skin back and giving you an instant eye lift as he continued it down from your crown to the base of your neck and down the remainder of the length. He fastened it off and let the braid fall from his hands. Your hands went to it instinctively, looking at it surprised. 

_Where the hell did he learn to braid hair?_ You stood up, walking into the refresher to check his work in the mirror. 

_Centered. Tight. Straight._ Still incredulous, you twisted your fingers around the end of the braid, twirling the tuft of hair into a tiny curl. 

_Oh, shit. I wonder if his mom taught him….”_ And now you felt like an asshole. You went back to him. Not knowing what else to do, you sat back down between his knees, facing the window. 

“No, it - Padawans have this long...” You turned to look at him over your shoulder as he motioned to the back of his head, pantomiming the thin braid that would have hung there. You nodded your head in understanding even though you weren’t sure you did. He scooped up the braid and ran it through his hands before aligning it along the center of your back. You sat perfectly still while a wave of goosebumps rolled through you.

You felt bold in between his legs. You twisted around, turning on your knees, moving your hands onto his knees. You slid your hands upwards, rising on your knees to kiss him. The kiss wasn’t soft, but his lips were. It was just two pairs of lips, pressing together at the seams, skin sticking to each other as you pulled away. You held each other’s eyes until he dropped his down to your mouth.Your tongue swiped at the center of your lips, looking for a taste of him. The room was quiet. 

Not moving his focus away from your mouth, he rubbed the kiss away with the side of his hand, looking down at it disdainfully before wiping his hand off on the comforter and going back to holding eye contact.

You knew it was foolish to feel disappointment, but you felt it nonetheless. 

_Which was a mistake._ Because he chuckled at you. Kylo reached out with the same hand he’d used to wipe your affection away and brought it to your shoulders, pushing you back down to sitting on your knees. The other hand came over yours, dragging it up to cup his cock. He squeezed your hand, pressing you into him. Your brows shot up surprise. 

He let go of your hand, but it still rested on him. He throbbed as he lifted up, undoing and lowering his pants. You held your hand in place as the fabric came down under it. You looked up at him expectantly, wrapping your hand around him as he nodded. Your fingers strained to touch as you encircled him, stroking him up and down. His low groan had him twitching in your hand. You rose to your knees again, split flooding your mouth. There was nowhere else you’d rather had been in that moment other than on your knees, in front of Kylo Ren, challenging his dark eyes as you lowered your head to suck his cock. He hissed and cursed as you put him in your mouth and closed your lips around him, pulling back and flattening your tongue against the underside of his cock. You smiled around him, enjoying the victory of the moment and how his head dropped back. 

Grabbing your chin, Kylo pulled you off him. He tilted your head up to force eye contact. His jaw was clenched, and moved side to side as he ground his teeth, reclaiming control. The warning he punctuated with a raised brow was clear as he moved his hand to the back of your head and guided you back down onto him. You sucked him into the back of your mouth, gagging as he nudged at your throat. His hand left your head, and he lowered himself to lie back across the bed. You reached out for his hands and put yours on top of his, leaning into them while bobbing your head. You held his hands down as you twisted your head and corkscrewed your tongue around him. 

You fumbled, losing your rhythm when he turned his hands over under yours. They were palms together. They were soft and warm, a little damp and nervous. You stretched your fingers over his, running along the spaces in between the digits. He moved quicky and slid them out from underneath, rolling his wrists to grab yours. You stopped, pulling off him until only his swollen head was held in between your lips. Still trapping your tender wrists encircled by his fingers, he sat up, curling his shoulders off the bed and hovering - watching you. 

Accepting the move as a petty reminder that he was in charge, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked his length back into your mouth, agreeing to his terms. Your lips stretched into a self satisfied smile around him, letting your laugh vibrate around him. 

“Just shut up and suck,” he ordered, giving up and collapsing back against the bed. He let go of your wrists and reached behind his head. Kylo pulled a couple of pillows from against the headboard, long arms easily grabbing them and moving them under his head. He folded his arms behind his head and waved you on with a couple of fingers. You rolled your eyes at him and continued, pulling your hands back to high upper thighs. You snuck one to the base of his cock, sliding up and down as an extension of your mouth. Your other hand slid down the inside of his muscled thigh, lifting off and dragging your nails across the sensitive skin and up to cup his balls. You continued the up and down with your mouth and swirl of your hand as you tugged gently at his heavy sack. You moaned as it constricted in your hand, causing Kylo to twitch in your mouth. You repeated the movement, and again he tensed on your tongue and thrust into it. You removed your mouth, spit strings draping across from your lips to his head. Quickly, you slurped the crown back into your mouth, sucking the strands away, closing your lips over the shape as you pulled away, breaking contact. 

Without looking at you, Kylo reached down for your head to bring you back to him. You twisted away, still holding him in your fist. He moved quickly, sitting up and linking his ankles behind your back, pressing his knees in to trap you between them. He glared down at you. 

Lifting him out of your way to suck and lick on his sack, you flattened your tongue as you slid up the underside of his length, flicking the tip as you pulled off. He made no sound. 

“I want something,” you said, repeating your tasting of him. Kylo sucked on his teeth and inhaled tightly. 

“Treasure…” he croaked. In response, you took your empty hand and placed it on his stomach, pushing him back down onto the bed, sliding your hand under his black shirt. The edge of it rode up, flashing his taut skin. The muscles you scratched your nails contracted in the wake of your touch, and you leaned as far up his body as you could reach, scraping your way back down when you could go no farther. Kylo’s response was measured exhale; his knees fell open, but his feet stayed twisted behind your back. 

“I want something,” you repeated, removing your hands from him and putting them on your own lap, sitting back on your heels like you had before. 

“Fucking hell, Treasure. I heard you. What do you want?” Groaning, he sat up. You smiled widely at him, pleased with yourself. His eyes were wide with annoyance and frustration. You caught him out the corner of your eye firsting the comforter in an effort to keep his hands from you.

“I want agency over my own body,” He wrinkled his brows at you and scrunched his nose as if the idea was repulsive and foreign. Leaning in, you kissed the inside of his right knee

“I want to wear my own clothes,” you kissed the inside of the left. 

“I want my hair how I want my hair,” you nipped higher on his thigh. 

He stood up quickly, and you fell backwards onto your bottom. Widening his step, he walked over you, swinging his leg over your head, sliding away from you while he tucked himself back into his pants and did them up. He moved over to the door, letting out a long exhale, running his right hand through his hair. You watched as the tips of his ears peaked out from his dark hair. Your admiration was cut short when he turned around, glaring, hands on his hips. 

You moved off the floor, standing, wiping your face dry with your hands and then your hands on the dress he’d made you wear. You looked down at yourself, seeing wet spots on the dark fabric from the spit that had fallen off him. 

He pointed a finger to the bed at his gloves, and you dutifully grabbed them and brought them over to him. You hadn’t realized you’d done so until you were handing the over, head bowed, looking at his boots. You kept staring down, listening to the hiss of his hands being slid inside the leather. You went to tuck your hands in your pockets, but stood awkwardly trying to put them somewhere that didn’t exist. You folded them across your chest and looked straight ahead into Kylo’s chest. Embarrassment flushed your cheeks, and you sucked your teeth. 

“I can tell you want to say something,” you feigned confidence, shifting your weight onto one of your legs, hip jutting out. You were going for _carefree_ but were coming off _bratty_. 

He turned and walked out out of the room, walking towards the stupid table. You assumed he’d righted it when he came in. You hesitated following for a second, distracted by how he took up the entire door frame. You stepped quickly to catch up with him, meeting him at the table. Your braid hit against your back with a gentle plop. 

Centered on the table was a box. A black box. A rectangular black box. You looked from the box to him, asking. Reading you, he pushed it towards you with a finger. Foolishness was the reason you were feeling giddy and not apprehensive. By all means, you should not trust what was in this box, but you pushed that away as you reached for it. Pulling it in front of you, you slid your hands along its sides like you had with your sabers earlier. 

_Is this an apology gift?_ You were stupidly hopeful.

He laughed, actually chuckling. He put his palms on the table edge, leaning down towards them. He was unfairly beautiful, even his teeth.

“You’re pretty bold considering you can still taste my dick in your mouth.” You stopped looking at him and glared. Smirking, he straightened, shrugging lazily with one shoulder. He turned and walked towards the little en suite kitchenette, and this time you were distracted by his thighs. 

“You going to open it?” he shot an eyebrow up, grabbing a cup and a bottle and splashing one into the other before tossing it back. He refilled the cup while walking towards you, holding it out. You took the heavy glass, sniffing it and holding it back out to him to take away. 

“You don’t drink... Of course not.” He rolled his eyes and drank what he had poured for you. “Open it before I take it away,” he motioned at the box again, this time with the empty cup. He turned away, dropping the bottle back where it came from. He raised his brows when he caught you looking.

Cheeks flushing again, you obeyed, lifting the bottom edge and easing it up, opening it away from your face. From behind you, Kylo sighed exasperatedly 

“If I wanted to hurt you, I would. Just open it,” he was getting impatient which delighted you. His impatience was doing a poor job at covering up his discomfort at giving the gift. He leaned against the table again, and you smiled at his nervousness.. 

Your mouth dropped the smile that hinted at it, and you did as you were told. You lifted the box, slid the top underneath and set the package back down, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for the strings that were attached to the gift. 

Reading your thoughts, he reached into the box and pulled out a thick bundle of black cloth. It sagged in his hand, and he let the fabric dangle from his hand. He shook it out as he moved towards you, opening it up and flinging it behind your shoulders. The black fabric floated down and onto your shoulders, cascading down in a matte, silken, knit cloud. You flapped your arms up and down, smiling as the cape fluttered around your arms, hiding them completely. 

“Stand still,” You stopped quickly, tucking your lips into your mouth to stop smiling but failed horribly. You rolled onto your toes then back onto your heels then shuffled from one foot to the other while Kylo tugged the cape into place and fastened it at the collar. His face was robotic again. You swallowed, feeling his gloves moving across your neck. When he took his hands away, you waited eagerly until he nodded before walking quickly to the refresher. 

You knew it was a cloak before you saw yourself in the mirror, and there wasn’t anything extraordinary about it. It was plain with a collar that rose up to cover the bruises across your neck and panels wide enough to hide yourself completely in. You twisted loosely and watched it fan with the momentum. In the mirror, your reflection watched you reach up and touched the shiny black metal circles denoting The First Order at the clasp. You rubbed them, leaning in close to the mirror to see them more clearly. You gave yourself a thorough look over before heading out, swinging on the door frame as you turned into the room. 

  
_The empty room._ Your skirts swung and the cloak flowed as you stopped abruptly. _Almost as abruptly as the way he left._ Sighing, you went back to the bedroom, flopped down on to the bed and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Treasures! See that chapter count go from "20" to "?"? (That feels like way too much punctuation to go together correctly.) Turns out that I'm long winded and take the scenic route everywhere so we have had to revise a bit. There will be at least 20 chapters, depending on how absolutely ridiculously and unnecessarily wordy I wind up being.


	14. Worst Seat in the House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you refuse to sit there.

_The ride to Krelik is going to be really fuckin’ awkward._

Kylo hadn’t returned, and a pair of Knights had shown up a few minutes later to escort you to the ship you were taking to the surface. You’d been shoved into a seat against the wall, tucked against the cockpit as far away from the ramp as possible. Across from you sat some unfamiliar First Order officers. They didn’t acknowledge the Knights and ignored you. Likewise, the Knights ignored them as they readied the ship for take off. You were fidgeting with your useless pair of dice, twisting them over your fingers when a heavy clank startled you and you dropped them. 

They made their own clanging sound when they half rolled- half bounced just outside of your reach. You reached out with your toes, trying to move them closer. 

_Wasn’t happening._

You made to unbuckle yourself and get them. One of the Knights - the one with grenades on his chest - stopped strapping in the long black box that they just loaded to pick them off the floor and dropped them into your hands. You forced a tight smile in awkward thanks and tucked them back into the cloak pocket. He went back to securing cargo, and you double checked your own chest belt.

“Hey, Mister…Knight?”

He grunted at you, not stopping what he was doing.

“Is that…” it didn’t take a genius to figure out from the size of the box and the way the officers across from had fallen silent to turn the question rhetorical. 

“Oh,” you swallowed tightly, drawing your feet closer to the wall. 

  
  


_That’s the Ambassador._

You closed your eyes, knowing you were going to start hyperventilating in a second if you didn’t get it together. You started chewing on the bottom corner of your lip, breath rushing in and out of your nose and chest rising and falling like crashing waves. 

A throbbing speared through your head as you flashed back to Kylo pulling your memories from your head. A bloody history.

_Oh, God, I’m going to puke._ You started panicking, struggling to unbuckle the chest harness quickly enough. Really, no speed would have been fast enough to get you out of there. After unhooking, you flung the restraint off of you and made a bee line off the ramp. You stumbled with the incline and momentum, and only someone shoving an empty Trooper helmet into your stomach stopped you from turning ass over tea kettle to the bottom. The impact of it slamming into your knocked your breath from you and some sense into you. You pushed them out of the way, helmet dropping now too as you walked away without it. 

Hands intertwined behind your head, you hustled further into the hangar and away from the ship. You walked until you ran out of steam, leaning against a stack of crates by the wall, sinking on your heels. You scrubbed your hands down your face, groaning at the person who had followed you.

“No,” was your answer to the boots. You look up at Bombs, even trying to make eye contact through the narrow slit in his helmet. “Not happening,” he was winning your stare down, and you couldn’t even see his eyes. You took a deep breath and stood when his silence continued longer than someone would let pass before starting to speak.

“I’m not going to do it.” Bombs walked behind you and kicked at your heels, knocking the side of his boot into yours. You took a step forward. 

“That’s the _Ambassador_ ,” you hissed over your shoulder, being forced forward again by another kick to the heel. You balled your hands at your sides and dug in with your heels.

“I don’t do well with _dead bodies_ ,” you protested, trying and failing to resist being corralled back toward the ship. One of his buddies was waiting at the end of the ramp, arms crossed. 

_Well, I’m not amused either, asshole._

“I mean, Kylo wouldn’t send me to show up with his body,” you protested, but realistically, you knew he certainly would.. 

“That’s precisely what he wants to do,” you yelped and sped up a few steps. You’d never heard him speak before. Bombs stepped up beside you, increasing his pace again. You gulped and pulled the cloak tightly around you. The sound of your steps catching up to his heavy boot falls pittered through the wide open space around you. 

“I’m not sitting next to him,” you bargained, stopping short at the ramp, staying behind as Bombs walked up. He stopped and came down to you. You repeated yourself. He thought it over a second before nodding curtly. You followed him up onto the ship, sticking to the outside of the ramp, eyeing the black casket apprehensively. Someone unbuckled and one of the officers got up and took your old seat. He, too, stayed as close to the wall as he could manage. You sat down, letting Bombs check you over as you buckled. Satisfied, he sat down as the ramp closed and nodded to Brownie, who banged on the wall of the transport. 

_It’s like they have their very own caveman language of head nods. Ridiculous._

You let out a steady stream of curses as the ship rose effortlessly and smoothly jettisoned out of the station. You white knuckled the shoulder straps, irritated at yourself that any part of flying still made you this nervous. You spent the short ride repeating your prayers for calm and peace, and had almost convinced yourself everything was fine even though it was _fine_. 

You retrieved the dice from the interior cloak pocket, and started fiddling again. You focused on passing the dice back and forth between hands and dangling and twisting and swinging them from your fingers as the ship landed and people and _previous people_ disembarked. You stayed tethered in your seat while Bombs and the other Knights worked, only undoing yourself and leaving when they did. You looked around curiously as they boxed you in, but understanding quickly. You tucked the dice away, and embarrassed yourself by looking around for a tall, shaggy haired bastard in black. 

_Nope, just the Helmet Heads._

You followed them onto a smaller transport vehicle where your group merged with a few Kreliki officers and soldiers and amused yourself watching out the windows. Your group rode in silence through the docking areas through military complexes buzzing with activity and finally passed through the high walls of the System Center up to the elaborate front of a palace. Long sweeping stairs and grooved pillars covered in vines beckoned your group in. You continued your silence as the Knights broke apart again, two of them splitting off with Kreliki soldiers while the other two stayed by your side. 

A uniformed man with big eyes twice the size of yours and a rounded mouth came towards you and introduced himself as the Ambassador’s successor. Bombs and Death Mask nodded, and you followed their lead, feeling your face pink. 

_Pull it together, Treasure._

_Get a hold of yourself._ Kylo spoke into your head, your thoughts in unison. Squaring your shoulders, you discreetly looked around for him again as you trailed along on a tour of the palace. 

There were no ceilings, just one large, tall silo-like tower with staircases and doors twisting about into connecting pods. Everything was open and bright. The floors were piled with plush rugs in the colors of the triple suns. Everything in threes. You spun around slowly, head up as you traced the miles of shimmering fabric panels pooling on the floor up to the clear glass ceiling. You raised your hand to your eyes as you looked up, dulling the light. The three suns were stacked in a neat line down the center of the ceiling, passing through the length of the glass panels. 

“If you stand there long enough, you can watch the sunrise and sunset.” The Deputy Ambassador had come back to you and was standing to your right. He was close enough that his shoulder could easily brush against yours. 

“It’s one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen,” you dragged your eyes to the Deputy Ambassador’s face, blinking spots away and moving to the left. One of Knights shifted, clearing his throat and moving himself between you and the Deputy Ambassador. 

“Right,” He cleared his throat in return, and brushed invisible dirt off his shirt. You shrugged at Death Mask. You could feel his sarcastic look behind the mask. You covered it by looking at up the ceiling again. 

“Can we go outside?” you interrupted the Deputy Ambassador, and quickly apologized. “Is that okay?” you asked the Knights. They shared a look and nodded. The three of you looked to the Deputy Ambassador expectantly. 

He nodded curtly and led you out of the main hall to the back gardens. Without a departing word, he left you at the threshold after very briefly handing you off to one someone else and dismissing you. You chose to ignore the brush off and almost skipped down the stairs into the garden as your new tour guide began showing you around. The Knights looked bored as you wandered with the Officer - stopping to appreciate sculptures and plants alike.

Your group was slowly growing, and you were having a blast, openly laughing at something one of them said about the twisted, metal sculpture in front of you. You didn’t see it, but they promised it was a type of bear from their mythology. You squinted into it, hanging back a moment to give it one last benefit of the doubt before the Knights ushered you along. 

As you reached the edges of the gardens, a reflecting pool, long and narrow with arches of clear stone like crystallizing icicles came into view. 

“At sunrise and sunset, it captures the light from the triple suns and refracts them out across the water’s surface. It’s beautiful.” 

You could imagine it clearly.

“May I?” you were headed to the pool, regardless. A fragmented memory of the Temple snuck into consciousness from memory, and you pushed it back as you sat on the edge of the pool. Like a dark shadow on the white stone, your dress puddled around you, spreading like an ink stain.Reaching out, you dipped your fingers in, dragging them through the water. The ripples spread through the water, rolling down to the far end. Watching the water, you brought the wet hand up to shield your eyes. You lowered your gaze back to the water, watching it settle back to flat. You closed your eyes and took a deep inhale, filling up on contentment in the moment presented, refusing to let circumstances taint it. 

Sighing into your soul, you got up and dusted your palms off then wiped them on the back of your cape, looking down at your feet as you stepped down from the ledge of the pool and headed back to the group. You stopped mid step, stumbling gracefully as the rest of the Knights and their Master joined your small group. Kylo broke off from the group, stepping towards you, putting his hand on your elbow and escorting you back. 

_Careful, Treasure._ He teased you inside your head while gently squeezing your elbow. 

You schooled your face into a pleasant smile and extracted your arm. You looped it around his forearm, resting your opposite hand in the crook of his elbow. 

_Careful, Kylo._ You shot back, drawing up to him and pressing your body against his for a moment before halting, arm drawn on as he kept walking. You tugged him back to you. His back to the group that was now watching you, his face dropped any amusement. 

_What am I supposed to do here?_ You asked, releasing him and tucking into your cloak. 

_Nothing. Just be seen._ You had to actively work to keep your face neutral when he reached out and ran a hand up and down the shape of your arm, hidden under his gift. You were grateful he had turned his large body to keep your conversation private. He held his hand on your upper arm, just sitting it there.

“You’re pissing on me…” understanding dawned and your mouth and eyes widened. He laughed quietly so only you could hear. 

“That’s one way to put it. Come on, Treasure,” He pushed you forward with a hand on your lower back, and you tingled under his possessive touch. The two of you moved back to the group before he dropped his hand. He crowded into you again, bending to put his ear at your mouth. 

“Be good,” he warned, loud enough to be heard. You felt your face reddening against your wishes. You nodded quickly smoothing your hands down your dress inside your cloak; no one saw. His face moved against yours, the short stubble on his cheek scraping across yours. You sucked in your breath and closed your eyes against him. You wanted to lean away from him, but held yourself rigid, swallowing. You smiled, hoping it looked more genuine than it felt, and that made you uncomfortable.

_It doesn’t._ You dropped the effort as he straightened up, rolling your eyes up to him. You lost the stare down when a Knight moved towards you both. Everyone else had stepped away a few paces to escape whatever visceral effect the two of you together had. Kylo shifted away, giving the Knight room. 

_Which one was this?_ You tried to remember which mask belonged to who, but went back to nicknames. _Skeleton face? Death-mask?_

“Ap’lek,” The Supreme Leader provided. 

“Hmm?” you weren’t paying attention. Death Mask had both of your saber hilts wrapped in one fist. He held them out to you. You took them apprehensively, bringing them under the shield of your cloak, holding them to your chest. 

He clucked his tongue at you, and took the edges of the black fabric between his fingers, tugging it teasingly. 

_Do what he says._ Your brows wanted to furrow. The difference between his voice in your head and the casual and familiar attitude he was showing off were confusing you. _Keep up, Treasure._

You wet your lips with your tongue, nodding again. You holstered your sabers against your hips, disbelieving he had brought them just to use them a show of force. 

“I want to see the sunset,” you found your voice, raising your chin to him with your request. He didn’t give an answer, so you raised your brow at him, too. Ignoring you, he let go of the cloak and turned you towards Death Mask. The two exchanged a brief nod before The Supreme Leader shot you another warning look, waiving the rest of his party to follow him as he left. You were now left with your small, original group.

“Ma’am,” Death Mask called your attention. 

You turned to him, embarrassed you’d been caught watching him leave. You smiled it away, silencing any questions, and asked to continue your tour. In their uneasy smiles you realized that the only reason you were here - on Krelik - taking this pointless garden tour - was to be seen. Your stomach churned. The only reason that he had brought you was to parade you in front of the people. All of Krelik must have known the Ambassador was dead by now. Everyone knew that the Supreme Leader had well within his rights to kill the Ambassador and start a war, but his choice to send you down to deliver the body was a rather poignant reminder that you were part of this.

_So here I am, taking a pleasure tour of the palace of the country of the leader you just fucking killed_. You cursed him in your head, hoping he was listening in.

You didn’t say much else as you endured the rest of the tour, no longer enjoying yourself. The sigh you let out after being led to guest chambers could have swung the door shut. You sagged against it, just done with everything. A short knock rang before the door opened again, swinging you outwards. You pulled a saber off your hip, dropping into a ready stance with the vibrating blade.

Death Mask stopped, gave you a once over and nudged the door closed behind his back. You retracted the blade, apologizing and holstering it. 

“Babysitting duty?” You didn’t expect a response. “How long are we here? Can I take my shoes off?” You surveyed the room as you walked deeper into it. You chose a chaise lounge near a wide window flanked in the same colored fabric from the atrium and flopped onto it, arms behind your head, ankles crossing as you landed. You reached behind you and shoved a throw pillow under your head. 

_You going to sit?_ You asked in your head, also not surprised when the bulky helmet moved from side to side. _You can use the Force?_

“It’s a little more complicated than that,” was his succinct reply. 

“We clearly have time.” you shoved your toes into the crease between the arm of the sofa and the cushion. The fabric was slick but textured. You listened as he explained in very precise, factual, quippy phrases.

_Very military. Very report._

“That really wasn’t that complicated, and your storytelling skills are a bit lackluster, my friend.” He ignored you. You untucked your feet and rolled over on your side, facing the window. You stared out of it, watching the plants move in the breeze and multicolored sunbeams bouncing off the white stone the Kreliki favored in their architecture. 

The room was painfully quiet, and the silence stung your ears. 

“You don’t want to be here, do you?” you asked to the wall. Again, you weren’t expecting a response. It seemed a prerequisite for wearing a mask in the First Order meant you didn’t speak. The helmet seemed more muzzle than mask. 

“Then why are you still here?” Might as well be talking to the window at this point. 

“You think he should have killed me?” Sitting up, you turned to face him. Still standing at ease, arms behind his back, staring ahead out of that stupid little slit in the helmet. You narrowed your eyes involuntarily, trying to focus enough to see into the visor opening. 

“So you do,” You had to hand it to him. He just kept _standing there,_ non-responsive.

“Ok…” you stuck your thumb in your mouth and chewed on the edge of the nail. “..so you think he should have,” you looked at him expectantly and received nothing. 

“Even _I_ think he should have …” you switched to tapping the pad of your thumb against your bottom lip, leaning forward and resting your arms on your knees. 

“...so why didn’t he just kill me?” you _really_ didn’t expect to get a reply, so when a deep baritone rattled out from under the metal hood, you sat straight and stared at him. You had to ask him to repeat himself. 

“Worst case, you make a good weapon.” 

_That was it?_

“Best case?” you pressed him to elaborate, but received nothing more. 

You rolled your eyes and stood up, stretching tall and walking over to your shoes and grabbing them before leaning against a wall to put them back on. 

“Come on, Dead-o, I can’t stay cooped up in here. Let’s walk.” You reached past him for the doorknob, but his armored arm shot out, blocking your way. “He said I could see the sunset at the reflecting pool.” You tried to step behind him. He moved in front of you. You glared and moved again; again he blocked you. 

“Are we dancing now? I’m really not in the mood.” Hands on your hip, you gave up. He didn’t need to take off the helmet or speak for you to see the look on his face or hear his tone of voice. He jerked his head for you to move away and go back to the couch.

You stood your ground. “Why helmets? Do you ever take them off or are you guys like the Mandalorians? - Do you sleep in them? - Does your head get sweaty? How’s the visibility in that thing?” You asked your questions in succession after waiting for a short second for an answer before launching into the next. You cracked a smile as he sighed, annoyed. The distraction was short lived.

You volleyed your own sigh and took your spot on the sofa again. You crossed your legs on the seat, twisting your head so the braid swung over your shoulder. You caught it and twisted the end into a tight curl. Fidgeting with, you looked back to him. 

“What do you think the best case is?” You waited for an answer, twirling your hair then pulling it straight, releasing it then watching it unfurl. You did this a few times, sighing dejectedly at the silence that was starting to drown you both again.

“Helmets save the face and hide your identity. Withholding your identity is intimidating.”

It took you a second to catch up. “So the goal is fear.” You were making an observation. 

He nodded. “Fear is power.” 

You let your face disagree for you. “But what if they don’t get intimidated?”

He scoffed as if it had never happened. You couldn’t argue with him, though. The group of them scared you shitless. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” you sat up straight, realizing what he’d done. 

The quiet between the two of you was like a wet blanket draped over your face. You both knew you weren’t getting an answer, but you could feel he wanted to say _something_. You looked at the floor, giving him privacy while he decided how much he was going to say. 

“Even when wielding absolute power, a man is still a man.”

“That’s it?” you asked. “You give me that bullshit riddle like it’s supposed to be helpful?” He shrugged a shoulder. “Unbelievable. You’re all assholes, you know that, right?” He nodded, chin tipped up proudly and tightened up his guard stance. “Absolute assholes.” toeing your shoes off, you let them clunk on the floor. You turned away from him, giving him your back in quiet rebellion. 

Outside the window, the view was starting to become tinted into color as the day wore on. You stretched out on the cushions and watched as the shades became more deeper and more saturated as night fell, darkening until your eyes closed and you fell asleep.


	15. Marvelous Night for a War Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you learn Krelik only has one moon.

A low light flooded through your eyelids, and you pressed them shut against it, rubbing your face into the couch. The scratchiness of it was surprising, but your sleeping brain couldn’t figure out what was stinging your face, and you rubbed against it a few more times. Groaning, you pushed away from it, starting to sit up. You became aware of the big hands helping, sliding up your arms and holding on your shoulders as he waited for you to steady yourself. Head bowed, you rubbed your fingers against your eyes, swiping away any lingering sleepies, bottom lip thickly pouted. His hand cupped your cheek, and you leaned into it, ready to flop back down and use it as a buffer between you and the scratchiness. Kylo said your name a few times, putting his hands back on your shoulders and holding you up until you focused on him. He was crouched in front of you, perched on the balls of his feet, and you pictured leaning forward and throwing your arms around his neck, rolling around on the floor together and going back to sleep. 

Hair was falling in front of his eyes in waves, and it softened the sharpness of his cheeks and jaw. You closed your eyes and leaned back against his hand, trying to lie back down a third time. He pushed back against you, clucking at you and squeezing his giant body into the space between you and the cushion that you’d had your head on. Seizing the opportunity, you pulled his arm over your shoulders and wedged yourself against him. You were very satisfied by how much softer his clothes were than the couch.

_An armpit had never been more comfortable._

He smelled like a warm bath. You heard footsteps and a door closing. 

“You send the Helmet Heads away?” you croaked into his chest and curled your bare feet under you. His chest rumbled when he spoke.

“No, they just know,” the hand draped over you ran fingers along your arm absentmindedly. You were jostled off his chest when he fidgeted and rearranged his long legs more comfortably out in front of him; he settled again with his arm around you. Your head was on his chest, arms tucked in between both your bodies. He arched his bottom up and tugged your skirts out from under him. 

_Your fault for making me wear this damn thing._

You felt his tone of face without having to look at him.

“It’s still dark outside?” You skipped over the reproach. Looking at the window, could see nothing outside of it; the darkness was showing you your reflection in the glass. You sat up and scooted away from him; seeing yourself that close to him - that trusting of him - instantly charged your anxiety and self-doubt.

Rejection flashed briefly across his reflection’s face. Kylo stiffened and stood up, giving you space and his back. 

_Regret. You both felt regret._

“Get your shoes on. You need to do something,” The change in his tone and posture as he began to pace made your stomach drop. He had the hyper focused look on his face that he got when he was using one thing to avoid thinking about another. He looked purposefully preoccupied while he waited, getting your sabers and inspecting them curiously and finding them unconvincingly interesting to look at.

  
  


Mouth set in a line, you obeyed silently, presenting yourself to him when you were done. He stayed focused on the light sabers.

“Um, are you going to give me to them now?” You braved his face straight on. He stepped around you, and you tensed. From behind, he laid your cloak over your shoulders and freed your braid from underneath it. He circled back in front of you, sliding his hands under the cloak and holstering your sabers. You looked at him questioningly while deftly clasped the cloak shut with his wide hands. 

The world was quiet as you followed him out of the room you’d been held in. You had no idea how late it was, but it was late or early enough to be pitch black outside, and you struggled to keep up with his long strides through the low lit halls and into the night. You stumbled as you missed a step leading you from the building down onto the grounds. Kylo kept you upright with the Force, not bothering to check on you. The rocky gravel crunched as he walked in the low light of the moon. 

_Hmm. Three suns and one moon._

You followed still, squinting to differentiate his shadowed bulk from the night. You were getting frustrated because every time you were close to falling in stride with him, he changed his pace, playing with you and keeping you behind him. 

_I guess he’s mad._

You stopped, withdrawing a saber and powering it on, holding it in front of you like a torch. A few paces in front of you, Kylo turned around, walking backwards. He raised brow at you for a few strides before spinning back around and leaving you trailing behind him. 

“What? It’s dark, and you’re hauling ass.” You faked confidence and threw a shrug at him while hustled and caught up to his side. His pace was measuredly slower now. A corner of your mouth crept up. 

_Thank you._

You broke under a horrendous wave of guilt and stopped you in your tracks. You lowered the blade, losing yourself into the darkness. You heard him stop walking away and return to you. You were physically stuck - struggling internally - feeling guilty for never thanking him for sparing your life, and feeling an effervescent resentment that you were in this position at all. Anger over feeling like you needed to feel guilty for not thanking him for letting you live won out, but disappeared when his hand on your lower back gently nudged you forward. You gasped into your nose, when he touched you, holding your breath and digging in your heels. 

Kylo pushed into your back again to start, you were nudged forward. Your body felt obligated to follow him, and so it went with a throat thick and eyes prickling with frustration. You moved forward and out, side stepping him and twisting away from his fingers. You slid in line behind him. You followed along hopelessly, pawing at your cheeks and eyes to bat away the wet. You kept your eyes on the back of his boots until he stopped.

“Why here?” You look at him confused. We were at the reflection pond from earlier. 

“Show me the war dance,” his demand was firm. 

“Wha - the war dance? No, absolutely not,” your refusal was involuntary. There was no way he knew the scope of what he was asking for. 

“Treasure…” he warned. 

“And it’s not a war dance. It’s just…..no, it’s not happening. Kill me, but I’m not doing it.” You spun on your heels to leave, but instead of moving forward, you were pulled back to him. You stopped against his chest. Kylos arms snaked around you, crossing over you and pulling your lightsabers back out in front of you. He tucked his head into the bend between your neck and shoulder, moving his nose against your ear. His teeth nipped at your lobe, and you settled back into him, sucking in a breath. You rolled your body off of him, standing up straight, taking the sabers from him. 

You understood. He took you out here because no one else was. It was empty, and dark, and you were alone. Location did not mitigate impact, but being touched was distracting.

“Good girl,” he whispered into your ear from behind you and kissed your temple. Your body was humming from the affirmation. It gave you whatever you needed, and you took off, bounding off a few steps before hurling the saber hilts away from you with a roar of effort. You were propelled forward with the momentum of the throws, stumbling over your toes but not falling. The same force that held you up stopped the sabers mid air. Kylo held his hand out, and both hilts were sucked into his grip. You remained still, stuck, waiting for him as he stalked up the distance between you, halting at your back again. He leaned his full front into you as he dropped his power. You sagged back into him. His arm snaked around you, and he held the sabers in front of you again.

“You dropped these,” your mouth went dry, and your breath got stuck for a beat. Pulling in a shaky inhale and letting the bloated breath through cracking lips, you took them back. The hilts were warm from his hands. You chewed on the inside of your cheeks, letting them fall defeatedly to your sides. 

He circled in front of you. You both stood, holding each other’s gaze hostage until the sting from holding your eyes open became too much, and you blinked. You kept your eyes closed, forehead wrinkling. You nearly came out of your body, pinching your eyes tighter, fists tightening around your saber hilts when you felt his finger touch the furrow between your brows and drag down the slope of your nose and rub across your lips. You rolled them inwards, away from him, but he just held your chin and pulled them loose with his thumb. 

_Open your eyes._

You shook your head, eyes still closed, but no longer tight. 

_Treasure._

“I don’t want to,” you spoke it into the palm of his hand as he opened it to cradle your cheek. His thumb stroked your face. “It’s bad, Kylo. Don’t make me do it.” The last was a whimper. 

_Always so scared of the wrong thing._ He dropped his hand. Eyes closed, you didn’t expect or have time to brace for the backhand that sent you to the ground. You yelped as you hit the ground, shooting up to your feet as soon as it registered. Your teeth had dug a chunk into your cheek. The sabers skittered to a stop a few steps away. 

“You hit me!” His fingers twitched. You held your cheek then spit blood.

”You fucking hit me!” The man had spit on you, fucked you, dragged you by the hair, controlled your clothing, but he hadn’t hit you for the hell of it.

He shrugged and dragged a hand through his hair. 

“No, no, no. You don’t get to shrug and be coy, Kylo Ren. You just fucking hit me.” Brave or stupid, and incandescently mad, you stepped into his space. That same little twitch between his brow and hairline. 

“You spend a lot of time reminding people you’re the victim, Treasure.” 

“You. Hit. Me!” You hissed at him through clenched teeth tampering your yell to fit the late or early hour. He shut you up with a glare, and you bubbled your mouth to hold in your words. A twitching under his eyes had you swallowing the bubble.

You flinched as he lifted his hands. He released the clasp on your cloak, and it floated onto the ground around you both. You shivered. The weather wasn’t particularly cold, but he was. You were frozen in front of him. His eyes connected to yours, he lifted his arm and your sabers came boomeranging back to him again. Again, he put them against your chest. Your mouth dropped open with the sliver of his fingers on you. The pressure was searing, feeling like the hilts had just been taken from the forge, branding you. 

He pressed them into your chest again, drawing your attention back. You took them, limply dropping your hands with them as if they were as heavy as what he was asking you to do. 

“You don’t need me to do this,” you whispered, wetting your lips nervously. You raised your arms, offering the sabers back to him. He pushed them back at your chest.

“You are alive for one reason, Treasure.” He turned on his heel and gave you his back as he started walking away. You dropped the saber in your right hand and grabbed for his forearm. You caught him, and he turned around slowly to look down at you. He eyed your hand on him disdainfully and released your fingers with his other hand. 

“Two,” you dared him, lifting your chin and lowering your lashes, shooting a practiced coy look, lips parted, tongue peaking out to wet them again. Your hand went to his chest. He scoffed, and you willed yourself not to be affronted when he shoved you away. 

You reached for him again, placing your hands on his hips, slowly sliding your hands around his back, tentatively moving your body against his. Once again you were thrown backwards, landing on your ass. You scurried back to your feet, grabbing your sabers, weaponizing them and swinging on him blindly. 

You felt as big as he was, but by the time you’d reached him, he’d already used the Force to pluck them out of your hands and power them down. So you were left with empty fits swimming in the air. He stepped to the side as if he was moving out of the way as a courtesy. 

“What do I do with you?” you screamed at him.

_Just done. So done._

He didn’t use anything other than physical power when he grabbed you by the throat and pulled you back in front of him. 

“Dance.” The one word command. Air cut off, you agreed, nodding. He loosened his grip around your neck, but still held you by it. Your breath was coming in fast and confused as your nipples hardened and lust pooled below your stomach. You clenched your thighs together to ward him off. 

You knew the moment he read your thoughts because a sloppy, chaotic smile shoved a corner of his mouth up. He crushed his mouth down on yours, swift and hard, hand moving from the front of your neck to the back, pressing your mouth against him. You clawed against him, grabbing handfuls of his tunic and hauling yourself up against him with it before shoving yourself away from him. 

“No.” The one word refusal. You roughly wiped your mouth with the side of your hand, spitting his taste out onto Kreliki soil. Always with a blank face, his eyes volleyed from you to the ground and back to you. Your regret was punctuated by the red glow and spitting crackle of his saber. The illumination tainted his face red, silver-black scar holding your attention. 

_He was a fascination. A man so strong who always looks like he’s going to cry._

You nodded your humbled acquiescence. He motioned over his shoulder at your again disregarded sabers. You cringed inside, knowing that they were about to be weapons instead of instruments of peace. At saber point, you retrieved them, jaw clenched, knuckles white. Your stomach rolled with disgust, the other feeling toward him gone.

_If you’re going to puke, just do it away from me._

You told him to go fuck himself with your brain and your mouth at the same time, ramming your shoulder into his arm as you walked past him. 

“I’m not doing it here. It’s too beautiful here to be scarred by your bullshit.” 

You were reminded of your place when he shoved his foot into your back, and you fell forward onto your hands and knees. You tried to get up, but were kicked forward by his boot again until you rolled over on your back, holding your arms and legs over you in self defense. They jumped back, plastered against the ground while the humming of blade came closer to your face. You knew how the burn would feel when it cut you, and you cowered away from it. 

Kylo rolled his wrist, moving the blade away and you scurried away on your stomach until his foot came down on the side of yours. His face over your shoulder was rigid and stung as loudly as the dirt and gravel trapped under your nail beds. Your ankle screamed as your wrist remembered when he’d done the same thing to it. 

You cackled manically. Kylo’s eyes went big as saucers for a split second and his nose flared as he leaned backwards, avoiding your swing. You had both realized you hadn’t lost hold of your sabers when he’d pushed you down. They’d fallen onto your chest when you’d opened your hands to shield yourself from him. 

You were a hair too late when you kicked out at where his boot had been. You hopped up, leaving weight off your ankle as best you could, squaring up against him. Your sabers were painting mobius strips with light in the darkness while he stood still, throwing his face in bloody red shadows. 

_You let me up. You could have held me down._

He shrugged with the arm not holding his lightsaber then pushed his hair back out of his eyes. 

_Oh no, don’t bother talking. That’s fine. Shrugging and grunting are fine. Nerf herder._

You rolled your eyes at him. His hair fell right back in his face. This time he shook it backwards. It didn’t do anything helpful. More hair fell into his face.

_Ok, but that actually_ is _adorable._

You sighed and offered a truce. Both of you extinguished your blades. Kylo came to you and your stomach dropped when he knelt down and took your ankle in hand. He turned it this way and that, looking over it, rotating the joint. You hissed and grabbed your hand into his hair to stay stable. He didn’t look up at you, and you were gracious to ignore the embarrassment stinking off him. Your foot was placed back on the ground

“You could carry me like a princess, oh Supreme Leader,” you pushed your hand through his hair. You did it again, raking his hair off his forehead. He looked up at you, face clear, flashing pathetic before hardening again into his normal stoicism. Instead of bees choking your throat, butterflies exploded through your stomach. You looked down at his open face, and the butterflies pulled you to his downturned mouth, the flat of his forehead and the slope of his nose. Then his eyes - iris undefinable from the pupil in the low light. 

_Just black._

You cleared your throat, and he stood up in the same spot he was crouched, not giving you space. His broad body forced you out of its space, and you shifted backwards. 

“Why do you always fight, Treasure?” your mouth lolled open as he shifted you back into his space, pressing you against him. He rumbled into your ear, steadying you by grabbing your elbows. 

You didn’t have an answer, head falling back as he slowly swiped his flat tongue across the pulse in your neck, sucking the skin in between his teeth and nipping into it. Encouraged by your mewling and lazy knees, he continued sucking on your neck. Your arms spun around his neck while he bent you backwards, pushing his body against yours. His wide hands splayed across your ass, guiding you to grind his hard cock against the front of your dress. 

He nipped at your collar bone, and you yelped, tumbling off balance and landing on your ass. Kylo came to the ground with you, hovering over you. Even close enough to count each feathery eyelash, his eyes bled black and murky. His hand between your breasts pushed you back, making you lie flat in the dirt. You strained to hear him. The force pushed your limbs and froze them flat while Kylo knelt over you, grabbing handfuls of skirt and pulling them out from under his knees and shoving himself between yours. You arched up, whining when you couldn’t move against him. Kylo moved up closer, releasing your legs. His hands slid under your knees, bending them up around him. He held your legs open, staring between your legs. 

You begged in your head that there wasn’t enough light for him to see the wet spot that was probably slicking the gusset of your underwear. You whimpered and his eyes whipped to yours for a second before he dropped your thighs open and held them down with the Force again. You bit back any sounds wanting to squeak out of you. You tried to buck again when his warm fingers curled under the edge of your underwear and nudged through your lips, swiping at your juices and smearing them over your mound. You were left cold when he took his hand away. 

You were panting, mouth open, but slammed it shut when he sucked his finger clean.

_Get on your hands and knees._

You scrambled to comply, nearly kicking him in the head as you did. You ass was barely in the air before your skirts were hauled out of the way again, and your underwear was ripped off of you. 

_Who cares if that’s another bruise tomorrow?_

You shimmed some more, sand, dirt and rocks embedding in your hands and knees as you assumed your position for him. Cursing, you keened back into him when he spread your cheeks and brought his mouth down on you. Kylo swiped from your clit to your asshole, swirling the tip of his tongue around each. 

_This wasn’t going to take long._

You tried to take a fistful of earth and bore down on him while he tongue fucked your ass and hooked a finger into your cunt. You rolled against his face. He moved away for a breath but didn’t stop sawing into you. You fucked yourself on his finger, almost coming when he added a second. 

He removed his fingers from your pussy and smeared the gathered wetness against your other hole. He pressed into you slowly, feeding his cock into your sloppy cunt. You strained, moaning long and low at the way he dropped a mouth of spit onto your tight bud. You burned around him, sensation tightening your body around his fingers as he fed them into you, invading both holes. He shifted slightly, fucking you with his cock and fingers together.

“This belongs to me,” he twisted his fingers inside you, slowly scissoring them wider in time with his teasing thrusts. “I’m going to fuck this ass soon, Treasure.” You spasmed around him, moaning your acceptance of the idea and simultaneous refusal to do it in the dirt on an alien planet. He pulled his fingers out and hunched over you, hooking his arm around your neck and hoisting your torso back against him. You choked as you were sprawled against him, sinking farther onto his cock while he pistoned into you. The longer he played with your breath, the lower you fell onto him until you were nearly on the ground, knees fully spread, being held in place by him while he chased both your orgasms. 

  
  


Wordless and quiet, you spread out, falling forward back onto the ground. He followed, chasing your hunched back with his thrusts. Kylo threw your skirts further up your back so he could shove his hand under them and started rubbing on your clit again. He squeezed it between his fingers, rocking you against his hand every time he thrust into you. You fought to stay as upright as possible when your legs shook as you fell on him as you came with a silent scream. Unable to speak, you sang his name in your head. 

You lost your eyes into the back of your head and kicked out, too sensitive for more. He fucked you through your orgasm, keeping his own rhythm, speeding up and using you to his end. Moments later, he slammed into you, forcing himself as deep into you as your body would allow him. You felt the surge of his cum flooding you; the swelling and heat of him tripping your own orgasm. Drool trickled from your mouth as you cried out for him. He rode his orgasm out, pumping into you a few more times before releasing his arm from around you. You leaned against him, sitting against him, laughter bubbling up. 

“I can’t feel my legs,” you giggled and pressed the heel of your hand against your mouth. He panted and patted your thigh like he was awarding you for a job well done. Hissing, he pulled out of you, plopping back onto the dirt. You fell with him but caught yourself before you were laid out on the ground. Your giggles started again. You didn’t even mind when he rolled his eyes at you. You tried to stifle them, but the complete disheveled lack of grace he possessed when he stood up had your eyes screwing tight and tears streaming down your face. He held out his hand to help you up, and as if a switch had flipped, you started crying. You batted his hand away and told him you needed a minute. He said something quiet and gave a few steps of space, hands in his hair. 

He came back a few minutes later, pulling you up and handing you your cloak and sabers. 

You watched his side profile as you walked. His face was relaxed.

_Maybe a little tired._ You thought. You tightened your mouth around the big smile you wanted to throw when he caught you looking at him because he’d been doing the same to you. Stupid or sheepish, you were pleased with yourself. Kylo sped up next to you, passing you with purpose and without slowing down. 

_Yup. He can read minds._

You snapped out of it and ran to catch up, cursing each time your ankle throbbed, hobbling through the pain as he kept on. He didn’t change his pace, but he stopped and waited at the building's entrance. He was through the door before you, and asked if you knew the way back to where you’d been waiting before leaving the other direction.

You considered what would have happened if you had called after him to wait - if he’d turned around, backlit in saviorhood, and come back to dip you low into a sweeping kiss before thanking you for tonight and leaving again - a knight off to fight in a war that kept you apart.

_And that’s exactly why he left._

Irritated with your naivety - no, _blatant stupidity_ \- you threw the fantasy away and went back to your cell to wait to meet his next whims. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it and found the sexy times worth the wait!  
> Also, we are humbly accepting suggestions for other words for "asshole."  
> "Strangled balloon knot" and "poop door" have been rejected already. 
> 
> Thank you,
> 
> <333 YfB


	16. A Little Bloody Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you need to wash your face

The next day - technically, later that same day - you were corralled back to the shuttle and returned to the space station. Bombs and Brownie escorted you back to quarters, where you had to step around engineers making repairs. Charred pieces of wall paneling and floor were being replaced by the techs, and you carefully moved around them. The Boys didn’t bother, and the engineers were left scattering like bugs after the lights switched on to avoid being stepped on. When you moved to the bedroom, you nearly were run over by a frazzled worker. You stopped short of toppling each other, rearing up on your tip toes then leaning backwards to avoid hitting them. Automatically, your hands went out to brace yourself, and you grabbed the shoulders in front of you. They did the same. Before either of you had settled back onto the ground, Bombs was pulling the engineer out of the room and shoving them towards the exit.

Glaring at you through the mask, he shouldered past you, purposefully knocking you backwards into the door frame, sharing the warning. Huffing, you grimaced and leaned against it, watching impatiently while he swept through the rooms. Satisfied, he left, breezing in and out like this wasn’t the worst day of his life. 

You rolled your eyes and saluted, snapping your heels together when Brownie gave you the ever-familiar “you have one hour,” line. 

_Really, though, what are they going to do? Drag me around the ship half naked?_

Which was precisely why you took your time. Haughty and invincible with chin tipped high as you waltzed onto the bridge.

“Holy shit,” you stumbled over your feet when you stepped over the threshold. No one looked at you because no one noticed you. Each officer remained focused on their task, seamlessly through and within each other. 

_A busy, buzzing hive._

But most of all, the wide open view in front of you stretched wide enough to hold the entirety of the planet and her suns in its frame. You were shuffled forward as officers moved around you and took their stations. 

_Their grey stations._

You looked around. 

_Grey uniforms, grey walls, grey lighting. Oh, a red light….so so grey._

You always came back to grey. 

You were shuffled forward again, much less gently this time. Pulled away from your wonder, you shot a dirty look over your shoulder at The Boys. One of them jerked their chin at you, and you turned, following the line to the broodiest silhouette on the bridge. 

His back was to you, but you knew he knew you were there, and that you had been acting like a brat. Your swallow stuck in your throat. 

_Yup, that’s regret._

Squaring your shoulders, you shook out your hands and acquiesced to the inevitable. 

“Supreme Leader,” you stopped beside him, looking forward. Without a response or invitation, you stepped closer to the glass, pressing your hands against the pane as you watched Krelik and her sweeping grace of clouds and suns. You were pulled back from the undulating gases by Kylo’s presence moving into your space. 

He was stiff, clenched firsts and iron shoulders. The curves of his mouth were broken into tight, flat lines. Your brow furrowed to match his, and you wanted to rub your thumb between his eyes to loosen the tension there. You moved your body so you were leaning against the window with a shoulder, frowning at him. 

You raised your hand to his chin, holding his face up to the light and inspecting the swollen split in his previously unmarred cheek. He batted your hand away, and you folded your arms across your chest. 

“Someone managed to get a swing in?” you pried, looking down at your boots and pushing off the window. You smiled at the lack of response. You expected nothing else. 

_Are we going to just stand here, Kylo?_

He glared at you then nodded, turning on his heel. As you followed him away from the window and moved through the bridge, the anxiousness the officers were hiding under guise of competency hit you in the wake of Kylo’s steps.

_A sea of sinking little grey ships._

You followed him through a doorway into a wide, grey room. The walls were glass save the one that had a desk stationed in front of it. Kylo rounded behind it, and pressed a button on the data pad that sat on top. You jumped as the walls shifted into opacity silently while at the same time, Kylo pulled out the desk chair. It scraped loudly against the floor; you flinched again. 

Kylo lowered himself into the chair, draping his arm around the high top of it and patted his thigh. Legs sprawled out alongside the desk, his ask filled the room. Like a stuttered whisper, you went to him and lowered yourself to sit in his lap. You were rigid, back straight, keeping your weight in your feet and not leaning into him. He felt big, but different and unfamiliar. 

“You’re scared of me again,” he observed, squeezing your knee a little too tightly. He wrapped the other arm around you and tugged at you until you leaned against his chest. You dropped your head onto his shoulder, and he wrapped his other arm around your body, lazily rubbing his thumb against your thigh. You did not rest against him; you were wary and distrustful.

While you would have loved to reply, you just didn’t have one to give. So you put your hand on top of his on your knee. His other hand stopped moving. 

_Even when wielding absolute power, a man is still a man._

He tensed. 

_Clearly not the response he’d expected._

Kylo took his hand away from you and shoved his shoulder, sitting you up and forcing eye contact. The long scar and newly split cheek reminded you of the violence you’d run from in the first place. You made yourself stop thinking or remembering before you did something stupid like run your hands through his hair or curl your body into his like he had wanted you to. 

“You’re unpredictable,” you picked a spot over his shoulder and let yourself get bewitched by the little grey spot on the grey wall. 

He tugged on the bottom of your braid, and you scrunched your nose at the wall, taking a few beats to fully be attentive to him. He let go of your hair, satisfied you weren’t ignoring him anymore. 

“You’re going to be mean again, aren’t you.” You looked at his cheeks, stubbly and dark, brows pointed and thick in thought.

His eyebrow lifted questioningly, and his eye twitched. 

“I - I get it. It’s ok,” you picked at the edge of a nail, not looking at him. 

_Hot then cold. Mercy then pity._

“Do you?”

You nodded, still not looking at him. There was a moment of silence before he stood, awkwardly moving you off his lap and stepping around you. You slid to the side, hanging out of the way nervously. Kylo pressed a button on the desk, calling for his Knights, who pushed a cuffed Hux in. 

_Since when had boots made such a loud, echoing sound?_

You inhaled sharply, hand coming up to grab the neckline of your dress, but when everyone shot their eyes to you, you backed down, holding your shock in and looking anywhere else. You followed Kylo to the front of the desk, but didn’t dare copy his stance. He leaned against it, crossing his arms and legs. You settled for standing to the side, hoping to be absorbed by the walls. You stepped back another step when the Knight kicked at Hux’s legs, dropping him onto his knees. He swayed unsteadily.

_He doesn’t look so good._

Hux really did look like shit. He rested back against his heels, swaying because he couldn’t hold himself up straight. He caught you looking at him, and he smiles, blood smeared on his teeth. His eyes are puffed, and his sclera are red enough for you to see through the swelling. The visible pain had you moving towards him, hand still at your collar, wrapping around your own neck. 

He was a wreck; a messy wreck. Red hair caked with dried blood spiked out every direction. His shirt was buttoned wrong, and you could see the abuses through the gaping buttonholes. 

_As if you couldn’t tell he’d gotten the shit beat out of him otherwise._

You took the hand around your neck to reach for him, but jumped back when he growled. Hux spit at you, and his bloody spit lands on your cheek. Shocked and disoriented, you touch it and look at it, muddy minded. It was frothy and red - not just pink - but red like the front of his teeth. Horrified, you kept staring at it, watching the little bubbles pop but not registering anything else outside of those little, bloody spit bubbles until Kylo backhanded him. Hard. You flinched when Hux fell over, crying out in pain. Two Knights were there to haul him back up, but they didn’t bother to keep him steady, and he toppled over again before holding himself up on the second attempt. Hux was quiet now, drooling bloody spit onto the floor.

Kylo cleared his throat, having composed himself, and put his hands on your shoulders. You looked from the spit to him, but he was looking at the wet on your fingertips. He sniffed, straightening his arms, pushing you back and holding you at arms length as he moved you to stand in line next to Hux. He held eye contact when he released you as he walked backwards until he hit his desk. Your eyes went wide as he leaned back against it again, centering himself between the two of you.

“Supreme -” he cut you off with a wave of the hand. Your voice is stolen by The Force. He held it hostage for a second before letting you speak. 

“Kylo…” you started again, but he cut you off again. You hear him count to 9 in your head. 

_That was your warning._

You’re allowed to breathe. 

“Who am I?”

_An asshole_ , flashed in your head. 

The Force slammed down onto your shoulders, and you yelped as you were compelled onto your knees like Hux. But unlike him, your hands remained unbound. Hux laughed at you as you tried to move but were held in place. 

“Guess you didn’t fuck him well enough last night, _Treasure_ , because he’s been a real dick this morning,” Hux’s slurred words were garbled by his swollen face. You both braced for the backlash, but there wasn’t any. 

“No, that’s the one thing she can do. It’s anything else you ask her to do,” Kylo eyed you up and down. “You really didn’t pick well for this mission, Hux. You should have found someone,” he paused for a moment, looking almost regretful, “more co-operative.” He let you look at him, and winked.

_Asshole._

Hux laughed. Your knees were starting to hurt now, and you were grateful the skirts were thicker on the dress he had made you wear. 

Your cheeks burned.

_A fucking wink?_

You were angry and betrayed, and your cheeks were red from it You knew what you’d been brought here for. 

He stepped in front of you. Hand on your check, he ran his thumb up and down before putting it in your mouth, pulling your jaw down and open. Trying not to gag, your eyes watered as he pressed deeply into the middle of your tongue. You shut your eyes against the smell of his gloves and their little, bumpy stitches. 

“Eyes open, Treasure,” 

You didn’t move quick enough to open them because you heard Hux being hit again and cursing. Your eyes flew open, and you tried to turn your head to see what had happened. 

“No, no. Eyes on me,” his hand tightened around your lower jaw and forced your head forwards. 

Your eyes tried to skirt to the side to see Hux next to you. Kylo stopped you by sliding his thumb deeper into your mouth and gagging you. He pulled back and did it again; mucousy spit filled your mouth. 

You were uneasy - feeling a pregnant violence feeding into the room. Kylo hummed as he rolled his thumb around on your tongue, pushing into it until it curved around his thumb. His own mouth dropped open, and he finger fucked your open mouth, eyes lighting when you gagged. You kept your eyes on his, trying to keep them open even though they wanted to slam closed when you heaved. They watered.

He pulled his thumb out of your mouth, and you leaned forward chasing it.   
  


Kylo’s command in your head to keep your eyes on him held you under his stare. Finger by finger, he deliberately plucked the glove off the hand just in your mouth. You licked your lips as he flexed the long digits and brought them to your mouth again. Your pussy clenched; he still tasted like leather but now it mixed with the raspy texture of skin across your taste buds. His first two fingers pulled your jaw down again, and you opened reflexively.

He held his palm in front of you. You weren’t allowed to look at it, so you stayed focused on his mouth.

_Spit._

Kylo put his hand in front of your mouth, wide palm up and empty. He bumped it against your mouth, bumping your lips into your teeth when you didn’t immediately listen. Not convinced, you dribbled spit into his hand. 

He looked at it, disappointed, and dragged it down the side of your face that hadn’t been splattered by Hux’s spit. Your cheeks exploded into fire under the coolness of the air and your spit. He parked his hand in front of your mouth again. 

_More_.

You took in a deep breath, cringing on your knees and swiped your tongue around a few times, trying to gather as much saliva as you could. You puckered your lips and dropped a long, sinewy drop into his hand. It stayed on your lips as you pulled away. Kylo swiped the outside of his hand roughly across them to break the strands. 

Your mouth curled up when he shared his thoughts, and you nodded in dazed agreement. Your brain was lazy with lust. 

“Puppet whore,” Hux spat again, the only retaliation he was capable of giving at this point, aiming at your knees and Kylo’s boots.

Kylo looked at it dismissively then shot his arm out, using the Force to pull Hux’s face into his palm, directly into your hard won spit. Kylo’s hand spanned his face, and you could see Hux’s face contorting in pain as Kylo squeezed. You fell off your knees, tumbling back, scurrying back away from Hux’s ragdoll body as it hung uselessly from Kylo’s hand. You jumped to your feet, grabbing Kylo’s arm. You tugged on him; blood from Hux’s reopened wounds was filling the valleys of skin around Kylo’s fingers.

_Please don’t make me watch this._

To Hux’s credit, he didn’t beg - even if he did roar against the pain, limp as Kylo used the Force to control him. You squeezed at Kylo’s hand again, begging his name, and he dropped Hux, choking and sputtering at your feet. 

And then he turned to you, heading whipping around with hardened eyes and set jaw.

You put your hands out in front of you and surrender and lowered yourself back to your knees next to a wheezing and dying Hux. 

Kylo stepped forward. You cowered away as he reached for your face.

“Who am I, Treasure?” You gagged as he ran the back of his bloody right hand down your cheek. You tried not to sneer in revulsion. The iron smell made you want to be sick. He was finally scaring you, which made you angry. 

_Finally got his wish._

The ridiculousness and absurdity of the amount of violence that had just happened next to you had you vibrating. His anger poisoned the air in the room, and you felt him sharing his anger with you, as if your own wasn’t enough. You wondered if you could get angry again and kill him with his own lightsaber. 

“Don't be stupid, Treasure.”

Your attention snapped back to him. 

_That word._

You sneered at him with your teeth, lips rising.

“Who am I?” he came closer, leaning down to speak at your face. Even in this position, he hovered well above you. Bracing his hands on his knees, he smeared the remaining wetness into the black of his pants. You swallowed thickly, hating his games. 

Head lolled back against your shoulders, you rose up onto your knees, smirking in his face. 

_A monster. Puppet master. Sick fuck. Scared little boy throwing his dick around. Playing with your food. Overdramatic man child who wants everyone to pay attention to him. Selfish prick._

“Careful, Treasure…” he warned, bending lower, nose brushing yours. You blew his exhale out of your face. He reached behind you, tugging your braid so you were forced into eye contact. He was exact in what he was expecting. 

“Supreme Leader,” you backtracked, throat dry. You nodded along with him as he nodded his head in agreement with you, praising you. 

“Good girl,” he kissed your forehead before slamming upright, grabbing his saber and slicing through Hux in one swift, angry motion. 

You fell backwards, scurrying on your hands and heels, sucking a long choked breath, holding it like a wall against the vomit in your throat. You kept backing away, eyes wide and terrified, counting the pieces of Hux. 

_One. two. One. two._

You were still trying to back up when two pairs of armored arms plucked you off the floor and continued carrying you away from the _one, two._ They dragged you away from the bridge, dropping you down onto your own feet while you kicked away from them. You lunged for the door as it slid closed, banging against it. Sounds of chaos exploded behind, and Kylo fed his thoughts into your head. The Knights pulled you away from the door again, but you could still hear the saber swinging and Kylo flooded himself into your brain.

_A piece for every slight, Treasure._

You gagged, seeing pieces of Hux burning under the arcing blade, blackened edges of flesh and floor from the fiery slices. You let yourself be pushed and guided back to quarters, more concerned with shutting your mind off and keeping his visions out. 

Once out of the bridge and walking corridors you heard, “I never said he was a good man.”

You stopped. The Knights lurched forward a handful of steps before stopping and coming back to collect you. One of them reached out to grab your forearm and pull you along with them. You jerked it away. 

“Excuse me?” In any other circumstances you would be proud that you had remembered your manners, but as you stared incredulously at Dead-O, you wanted to sever his head and spit down his throat. 

The other Knight touched the back of your arm, signaling you to start walking again. Your hand shot up, telling him to hold his god-damn horses. Your chest heaved as you railed. He stared at you a beat before giving you his back and continuing down the corridor. You chased after him. 

“Did you just tell me, ‘I told you so’?” 

He ignored you, leading the way back to quarters. You kept up, grabbing onto his arm and turning him to face you. 

“You piece of shit, garbage can looking, mother fucker. What did you say to me?” He looked pointedly at your hand on his arm and waited for you to remove it. 

Silence.

“Is that supposed to be an apology?” 

Silent, he brushed you off of him. Him and his cohort latched onto your upper arms again. You tried to twist out of their rough grasp, doing nothing other than burning your skin with the friction of the motion. 

They brought you as far as the door, buzzed the door open and threw you in. You turned, ready to charge at them again. Ap’lek didn’t stay to see you in. He’d already turned on his heel and was walking away. 

“You should wash,” the other said, raising a finger to point at your cheek as the door closed. You swiped your hands against your cheeks, the spit-blood mix still sticky on you. You rolled the viscous fluid across the pads of your fingers, face screwed up from being overwhelmed. The door shutting brought you out of your thoughts. Scowling at your bloody fingertips again, you went to shower.


	17. Hangar-round and Find Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you take the scenic route

You’re sitting on the couch, staring out the window, waiting because you know he's coming. You could feel the bubble of his presence bouncing through the ship like a little blip on a radar map. Chewing on your thumbnail, you mentally tracked him as he came for you.

_Three days._

You’d been on edge the entire time, waiting for this confrontation. At some point, his absence became less of a relief and more of a dark cloud hanging just beyond the horizon. And the longer you waited, the more potential the storm had to strengthen so that when it _did_ roll in, it would be catastrophic. With nothing else to do but wait, you did - fully realizing time was being weaponized against you. But knowing it was being used to punish you and caring that it was - those weren’t the same thing. The logic didn’t matter; you were still uneasy the entire time, waiting for the confrontation you were sure was coming. 

_Because this wasn’t it. There’s more. The Ambassador was dead. Hux was dead._

That just left you. Sitting on the couch. Waiting. It was as good a plan as any for it, so your mind wandered while you waited, dangling the dice around your fingers.

  
You were nervous, and your stomach was angry and loud.

You’d been brought food like any captive would have, but instead of slop, you were brought full meals, complete with dessert. Always things that you liked, and that it-and-of-itself made it repulsive. Knowing the knowledge of your favorites had been gained by Kylo butting in where he hadn't been invited made it all completely inedible. 

After the second day of refusing to do more than eat dinner rolls, the niceties were gone, and only the bread was served. So you’d exercised the only freedom you had left and three hardened little bread rolls sat on top of the that stupid table - the three meals untouched while you waited. Three little puff balls like crowns sitting on their small, white, ceramic plates getting crustier and crunchier.

But it was time. 

You were on your feet before he’d come through the door. You felt him coming, speeding down the halls like an angry little fireball. He exploded into the room, coming to a dead stop when he saw you waiting. He blinked, ticked his jaw, and took his cloak and gloves off to drop them onto the entry table. Seeing the lumps of bread there, he pushed them one by one to the edge of the table until they were out of his way and he had room to lay his things down. 

You watched, holding your breath, chewing on your lip. Your eyes snapped from the table and its contents - to him - when the memory hit, strong enough that you heard the swing replaying in your head. Kylo demanded your eye contact, riding it out with you until it brought you back to the grey room where you stood.

_Stalemate._

You stared back, slack jawed, mouth hanging open with the thickness of your tongue. You swallowed. His face was still and straight, firm and blank while yours was on the precipice of panic and control. Your mouth went dry, and you tried to swallow again. Your expectation of his physical violence was bubbling around you like it had its own physical presence. 

“An hour,” you took the words from him, familiar with this part of the game. You could see his tongue rolling around in his mouth, and he sucked on his teeth behind his lips. 

“I don’t need an hour,” that sounded shaky. You cleared your throat and tried again. “I’m ready.”

You twisted your hands behind your back, clasping them and pulling on your fingers, fidgeting them so the rest of you could stay still. You felt the urge to twist side-to-side, but tamped down it by sucking in a hurried inhale and holding it.

He nodded then disappeared into the bedroom. You heard the shower, let out your breath and waited. 

_So much waiting._

You’d gotten comfortable on the couch again, lying back and staring up at the burn marks in the ceiling. You flicked the dice over one finger to twist around the other, moving them down from your pointer to your pinky and back up as you stared at the black burn on the grey ceiling.

_Missed a spot._

Kylo came out, looking exactly the same as he had before, only wetter. He looked at you, then at the ceiling. You sat up, watching him put on his gloves and cloak. He called you over with a sideways jerk of his head, and you scurried to put on your own shoes and cloak. You half jumped, half spilled out into the hall, tying your boot, falling against the wall and using it as a support as he left you behind. Kylo didn’t stop or look back to make sure you were coming; he was right to assume you'd follow. You ran to catch up, bounding down the corridor like a puppy chasing its owner. 

The way he slowed down for a few steps while you fell in line behind him reminded you to walk beside him. You apologized quietly and took your spot. You struggled to find a balance between following him and walking beside him when you didn’t know where you were going, but you thought he was taking you back to the flight decks.

You were right. You slowed down as you passed bays of windows that allowed you to peek into the rows of TIE fighters and their crews. Kylo slowed down more next to you, indulging your curiosity for a couple minutes as you watched the engineers work before clearing his throat at you. You mumbled an apology and started following again. 

He walked you through a maze of corridors and lifts, and you weren’t quite sure he wasn’t teasing you because you were 99% certain those were the same Storm Troopers you’d passed before, but who could tell with those guys? He looked down the side of his nose at you, daring you to ask, but you didn’t. You pretended to lock your lips, twisting the key and throwing it over your shoulder. His lips twitched, hinting at amusement while he rolled his eyes and made a hard turn into an empty hangar. 

“Whoa,” you stopped just inside the deck, looking up at the ships. 

_These weren't general public ships._

You swallowed hard. Kylo looked back at you from the side of a black shuttle - dark like space where light couldn’t sneak through. He was waiting, leaning his shoulder against it impatiently. You looked away from him in wonder of the machines around you. 

_Machines that fit inside of machines inside of one big giant machine._

“You cannot keep stopping in the middle of doorways _,”_ you dragged your eyes away from the ceiling so high up above to look at him. He’d walked back to where you stood - in the middle of the doorway.

“Sorry,” you frowned at his admonishment, reminded of what happened the last time you’d stopped in a doorway: _The Demolition of Armitage Hux._

Kylo looked at you like he didn’t have time for you and waved his arm in front of you both, instructing you to move. You apologized again to the floor and followed him onto the shuttle, keeping your eyes lowered in case the rest of it was too distracting and made you stop in the middle of the doorway again. 

You jumped as the door clanged shut, and Kylo folded himself into the pilot’s seat, expecting you to sit beside him. You warily joined him, strapping yourself in while he flipped switches and punched buttons and did whatever he needed to go to get you in the air. It was hard to pay attention to the specifics of what he was doing because you had no idea what exactly was going on, and that open hangar door over over there - it was enormous - but somehow space was held back by some magical force field of science you didn't understand.

“Are you taking me to some desolate corner of space to kill me?”

_There. You asked it._

You gave yourself a pat on the back, but it didn’t make you feel any better. It was truly the least of your worries. 

Kylo didn’t answer. Seemingly done with his run through, he put his hand on a dual armed lever and shot you a look to make sure you were ready. 

_That’s the “go stick.” Gods, almighty. Here we go._

You said a quick and dramatic prayer just loud enough to be heard, getting louder with panic because within 2 seconds you had gone from sitting in a docking bay and the next, you were screaming out of the hangar, white knuckling your shoulder straps as the hunk of metal holding you whistled through space.

You let out a steady exhale as he evened out the ship. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught him fighting to keep a straight face. You shot him a dirty look, and he banked the ship hard to the right. You cursed, bracing your arms against the windows and your feet against the control panel. Kylo snorted at your panic, poking at the instruments to undo whatever you’d done when you kicked against it. You glared at him again, and he held his hands up in apology.

“Where are we going?” 

You knew. You were clearly flying towards Krelik, its suns behind you as he steered the ship.

“Out,” you jumped. Kylo was louder than he intended to be, bordering on snapping. You cringed, and leaned away from him, resting your head in your palm and pressing your forehead against the cold glass that separated you from pure nothingness.

_Anonymity._

You cleared your throat. 

“Out where?” You watched the stars change as you flew past the planet, slowing down as the ship moved towards the moon. You sat up straighter, craning your neck to see better.

“Out here,” the ship moved closer to the surface, and you could see it was a desolate moon, full of craters and crevices. The pale stone was cracked from the heat of the three suns, but you could still make out the scarred path where rivers of the past gouged into ground, forming cliffs. 

“Out here where?” You braced yourself again, gritting your teeth and managing to keep your curses in your mind when Kylo dipped down into the gorges and flew low.

“Where out here where?” he acted dumb and cruised along in the imprint of the empty bed, shoving a hand through his drying hair. 

You scoffed at him, wrinkled your nose and leered at him, shaking your head. He smirked, one side of his mouth ticking up, charisma and charm stinking off him. His dimple turned your teasing smile into a genuine one, and you flashed it brightly for a second before rolling your lips over it and going back to the window.

Kylo flew you through the moon and circled around it again before heading back towards the planet. You watched the sky silently, watching the black shift into the yellow, pinks and purples of the Kreliki day, becoming entrapped like an insect in the sap of a tree - too enthralled to notice you were being sucked into something dangerous.

“Do you trust me?” you missed it at first. You hummed at him, taking a second to replay his gravely question back in your head.

You barked a laugh, but quickly shut it down when you tore yourself away from the window and looked at his face. 

_Oh, he's serious._

“I’ve done nothing to you,” his defense was quieter than you’d expected him capable of, but he was firm in his denial. 

You turned your body towards him, bringing your legs up under you. 

“You believe that, don’t you?”

He nodded sharply, just once. His honesty was delusional, but you entertained the idea briefly.

“It’s been more _around_ you than _to_ you, and it was nothing you didn’t either enjoy or want to do yourself,” he explained, and you chewed on your lip as you thought it over for a second before completely rejecting the ridiculousness of his premise.

“I wanted to go home, Kylo,” you said, replaying Hux’s decimation in your head. You replaced your lip with the side of your thumb and clicked your teeth against the nail.

“You would have sawed your arm off to get away from him when we met,” he snapped at you, voice booming in the enclosed space. 

“And instead you cut his head off,” you shouted at him, not hiding your frustration and regret. He didn’t have a response to your candor, so you dropped your finger from your mouth, unfolded your feet and went back to the window, giving him your back. 

“We have a meeting on planet,” he brought the ship lower into the planet’s orbit, dipping below the line of suns. They shot colored beams onto the swirls of white you’d spent so much time staring at the last few days. 

“We?” Still not looking at him, you traced the fingerprint clouds below you.

He nodded. 

You mouthed an “ok”, leaning closer into the window until your skin felt the cold of it again.

“They’re just stars,” Kylo stretched, arms over his head, fingers lacing and cracking as they pressed against each other. 

“Just stars,” you scoffed back at him, “I guess after you blow a half dozen or so up, you lose your perspective,” You went back to the window.

“There’s no perspective to be had.”

You sucked in a quick breath through your nose, nostrils flaring when he punished you by dipping the shuttle down into a steeper descent.

“He says while expanding his empire to places that were unknown,” you murmured under your breath, sure you were loud enough to be heard over the engines.

You forgot your fear when the shuttle ripped through the clouds. You gasped in wonder as they whipped past the windows, visibility almost nothing through the thick fluff balls of gases. 

“They were known. They just weren’t important,” Kylo was focused on the screens in front of him, shifting the shuttle’s course based on whatever he was seeing. He didn’t need to be that focused. He was avoiding you best he could, which wasn’t much considering you were sitting in the cockpit with him. 

“But now they are. All the stars and planets and systems beyond that are unimportant until you decide otherwise, but there’s this infinite expanse of empty, black space that’s brimming with these little pinpoints of lights and beyond that, there’s more and more - “

“That’s how ‘infinte’ works, yes. I’m aware,” he grumbled. He moved like he was going to bank the ship again to prove his point, but you thought a very loud and angry warning at him and he held his hands up in mock surrender. 

“But those places and people - they’re important even if you aren’t aware of their importance yet. Their value is …. It’s just there. It doesn’t wait for you to realize it.” 

Kylo responded by gently guiding the ship out of the clouds into the atmosphere of the planet. You chose to be distracted by the scenery below.

“Intrinsic,” he supplied, punching more buttons.

“Hmm?” You had to bring your attention back to him. The oceans here were deep turquoise and navy swaths with vibrant, green islands dominating the landscape. You sat up in your seat, trying to see into the water. The ship dipped, and he banked the plane, slicing the wing on your side through the water, sending up angry sprays and throwing you back from the window and demanding your attention again. 

“Their value is intrinsic to them,” he repeated himself, asserting his correctness.

You nodded in agreement, and your stomach growled loudly. You ignored his questioning look, brow furrowed. 

_He knew damn well._

You did not like this Kylo. Unhinged or uncomfortable with this relaxed version of him, you trusted him less now than you did when he was raising a hand to beat you. 

“No, don’t. We aren’t doing this, Kylo. I’m not ready for you to be mean again, so shut up and fly this thing,” this was not a fun outing, and you were nothing more than a hostage on a prison cruiser.

He raised an eyebrow, amusement and insult dueling across his features. 

“Oh, if you don’t know, I’m not telling you.”

“You already have.” He tapped a finger to his temple. 

“See, invading my thoughts would be considered “mean,” you made quotation marks with your fingers. “Taking my clothes. Throwing furniture at me. Broadcasting MurderTv in my head - all “mean.” you made the quotes again. 

He didn’t deny anything. 

“I know what you’re doing, Kylo Ren. You think you’re smart and sneaky, but you’re just trying to manipulate me into liking you and doing what you want and not resisting.” 

“Is that why you’re so ungrateful?” you flinched. He dug at the complexity of your relationship, and you felt guilty and ashamed of yourself again. 

You went back to ignoring him, fidgeting around with your skirts - laying them just right - and went back to looking out the window, cursing him in your head.

“Careful, Treasure. You're not in a spot to make demands.”

_Always with the warnings as if you weren’t aware of what he was capable of._

You almost choked trying to hold a bark of laughter in. Irritation renewed, you crossed your arms across your chest and stared out the front of the shuttle, overwhelmed with feeling like you had been by the Reflection Pool. The beauty of the Kreliki landscape became topography on an unnecessary map. 

“You were going to kill me,” Kylo tried to bargain your better mood back.

“I wasn’t. Hux was,” you pointed out drolly, wholly unamused and unappreciative of his effort.

“Yeah, well, how’d that work out for him, Treasure?” Kylo made his point and sucked his teeth, shaking his hair out of his face and jamming buttons and mashing things on the console. 

You went still and silent, focusing on un-hearing the sounds of death that always surrounded his displeasure. 

_The Ambassador._

_Hux._

You touched your fingers to your face where he had spat on you. Your cheeks were getting hotter, no doubt pinking.

_I should have killed you, too._

This time, with his voice in your head, you offered a truce with a tight lipped smile, lips barely curved upwards. You were supposed to be grateful and humble, after all. 

You asked him why he didn’t, but didn’t get an answer. Instead, uncomfortable and hostile silence settled smack dab in between the two pilots seats - directly between the two of you. Bored, you watched the Kreliki capitol city come into view, buildings spilling off the island, into the sea. 

Kylo maneuvered the ship to land. 

“You will be my shadow,” he punctuated his words with more button pushing and lever twisting. It registered that he was manually flying this hunk of metal that was somehow suspending itself mid air instead of falling and drowning you both as it sank to the bottom of the sea to be forgotten for the next 84 rotations or so. 

“So I’m supposed to follow you around like a pet?” You held your breath as the shuttle began its landing cycle. Below you, you saw engineers and flight crew moving out of the way. The landing pad held a couple TIE fighters and random shuttles, but none as black or as daunting as the one you were in. You wished you were in one of those instead.

“That implies you don’t want to be here with me, Treasure,” Kylo teased you again and landed the flying metal bird. 

“Parts of you, sure,” you agreed, bracing against the seat, raising your feet off the floor as the shuttle settled onto the ground. 

“What part would that be, Treasure,” Kylo distracted you with superfluously dramatic hand movement as he flicked more switches and powered it down and unclicked his harness. He tore out of the seat like a tornado, pulling your attention back to him. 

_Distracted from this._

“The nice part,” you smirked as you unbuckled your own chest clip and half fell out of the seat, ungraceful in getting to your feet. 

“There isn't a nice part, remember?” he snapped back at you from further back in the ship. You peered around the area, watching him fling open compartments. You sat back down on the armrest of the chair, waiting for him to finish rooting around for whatever it was he needed. 

“Fine. How about the version of Kylo that isn’t a seething, homicidal maniac who slices people in half and holds me at saber point just to scare me into submission?” You shoved your hands in your pockets as you continued to wait, getting bored and anxious. The dice rolled around in your hands, and you flicked your nail against the edge like you normally did when you were nervous. You sighed and got to your feet as he called for you to leave with him. 

Dragging your feet, you went to the shuttle door where he waited. 

“Don’t use my name in front of others again. Understand?” Kylo reached up, straightened your cloak, brushing invisible dirt off the shiny buttons and tugging the fabric straight. 

“Yes, sir,” you gave him a stunted, patronizing salute. 

It was not received well. The Supreme Leader brooded. You dropped the show, agreeing quietly, nodding to show you understood. 

He stared at you blankly, so you dropped your eyes again to the grey floor. Outside, sounds of the landing zone snuck through into your conversation. 

“So you’re just going to keep me as a pet?” 

“If that’s how you want to look at it.” 

Now you were just standing awkwardly together, too close to catch a breath. 

_Suffocating in amber._

“What kind of pet?” you braved the question and looked up at his face. It was unreadable. 

“A well kept one,” he avoided the point, dryly.

“Or a well trained one?” You took a deep breath and held it for false confidence, raising your chin at him. Still, he was unmoved.

“The Order of Te’Ka now serves the First Order. Do you understand?”

  
You understood the implications of the war and peace rituals alongside the Order.

“No,” he interrupted your thoughts loudly and forcefully. “You’re not doing those again.”

All you could do was nod and breathe. 

“So you want me to be a pretty trophy token of peace?”

“I want you to be the threat of war.” 

You were left taken aback, mouth open in surprise, as he decided the conversation was over and turned away from you. He opened the door and lowered the ramp to depart.

Nothing else was said as you disembarked in front of a group of officers and Troopers who refused to look at your face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Progress might be a little slow on the next part because it's SUPER awesome. My wrist is killing me, and typing is hurty. 
> 
> So would you prefer to have it all uploaded when it's done (not a weekly update) or split it and feed the rats? Let me know!


	18. Spillage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you endure

Since leaving the shuttle, you’d been following behind Kylo. The processional order wherever you went was Kylo, you, and then the Knights. You’d sat through meetings with Kylo and his Knights, Kylo and the Kreliki Deputy Ambassador, or Kylo and the Deputy Ambassador and their council. You’d recognized many of the faces from the Summitt Fall, but they all turned their eyes away from yours as if the simple act of remembering you meant they would wind up as dead as Hux and their own fallen leader. Still, you’d played your part throughout the day: a symbol of peace and forgiveness and tolerance from the Supreme Leader. And just as they all looked away from you, each person you encountered stared daggers into your back for being the Whore of the First Order. 

The day had been dragging - slowly. The Deputy Ambassador - who you now referred to as Dumbass in your head - had spent the last two hours under the misconception that Krelik had a choice or say in it’s future. They were going to become part of The First Order’s rule, and it was really unfortunate that _how_ that would happen was in that man’s hands. 

“You need to think more quietly.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin. You hadn’t heard Kylo come up behind you. You’d been standing by the wall, away from everyone else. You’d been othered, and were grateful for the chance to be alone again, as if you hadn’t just spent three days in solitary confinement. You were ready to go back to the ship and wait another three days, surviving on bread rolls and spite. 

Still, it was nice to be out. 

You plastered a smile on, hiding your teeth and clenching your jaw. 

_That man is a moron._

_You made that pretty clear all morning, Treasure._

Kylo took your elbow and moved you to walk with him around the perimeter of the room to escape onto the large balcony. As you two exited, the people there gave you room, some outright fleeing. You didn’t really care. The suns’ warmth on your face was welcome, and you tilted it up into it, sighing loudly and leaning against the stone balustrade. You dropped onto your elbows, holding your head in your hands and shooting him a sideways look. 

“You think he’d lose his mind if I sat on the railing?” You squinted your question into the suns. Kylo shifted, moving his body in front of the majority of the rays, shading your face. You thanked him quietly. The suns set up a halo around him, illuminating him like a hologram or a saint. 

He scoffed and ran a hand through his hair, scattering light beams. You scrunched your face and dropped your gaze down to escape them. Looking away afforded you the time to quell the niggle of fondness his amusement sparked in you. 

“ _He_ may not care what you do,” Kylo put emphasis on the Deputy Ambassador and let his unsaid warning hang in the air. 

“I wasn’t going to,” you brushed him off and turned your back against the railing, leaning against it. You folded your arms over your chest and looked down, kicking your toes against the pavers and then back up at him.

His eyebrow called you on your bullshit, and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Well, I won’t _now,”_ you emphasized your sarcasm, smiling blankly to hide a snarky pout. 

_Won’t even give me two minutes of fun before you drag me back in there to listen to a room full of idiots misunderstand the basics and government and economy._

Kylo listened, drumming his fingers against his thigh. 

_You realize I’m the only woman in there? All dudes. Even the servers. All men. They called me “_ sweetie _.” When was the last time someone called you “_ sweetie _?”_

_I can’t say I recall._

Kylo was staring off over your shoulder, still tapping his leg. You could see he was absorbed by his thoughts and watched him fixate for a minute. 

You straightened up, pushing off the railing, and put a hand on his forearm. Kylo’s face snapped to yours, but his eyes lingered, stuck in his thoughts they lagged behind by a moment. 

“You hate this as much as me?” you ventured a guess, sliding your hand off his arm. 

“Hux usually did this.” He cleared his throat, put his hands on his hips and shifted his stance so he stood at profile. “He liked to see how much he could get before we killed them all and took it anyway.” He looked at you for your reaction .

“Do you even want this planet?” you asked bluntly. 

“Doesn’t matter. It’s mine now.” 

Your brow drew down at the definitive statement. 

“It’s just the principle, Treasure. It’s not personal. I don’t give two shits about this place,” he waved his arm dismissively, motioning around him.

You nodded in agreement. 

“So this has nothing to do with the whole ‘tried to kill you’ thing?” you deadpanned. 

Kylo stepped quickly into your space and dropped his mouth to your ear, breath hissing through his clenched jaw, 

“It has _everything_ to do with that.” 

You closed your mouth, tucking your lips under your teeth, rolling them away to hide them as you took a deep breath. The Supreme Leader straightened slowly, staring down his nose at you as he stood. You took another purposeful breath and held it before letting it go. Giving in, you dropped your eyes and bowed your head remorsefully.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, it’s just that -” your sort-of-apology died in your mouth as Deputy Dumbass came out onto the balcony, an assembly of idiots following. He was smiling widely and fakely at you both and heading over your way. You smiled back just as genuinely, groaning quietly. 

_Can you kill him, too? Or me? Can you go back and kill me now?_

Kylo snorted quietly and ignored your request; it was now his turn to deadpan. He took your elbow in hand and moved you to stand in line next to him. The corners of the Deputy Ambassador’s smile dipped for a second. The message was clearly received and he leered at you before fixing his smile. 

Disgusted, you swayed closer to Kylo, brushing your arm against his. The hand on your elbow squeezed you once before he ran it up your arm and clasped the back of your neck. His hand hung there, resting in ownership. The base of your neck exploded into an undulating wave of sensation, tingling up to the front of your scalp and radiating down your spine, You shivered, and he released your neck, sliding his fingers down your back as the gaggle of idiots stopped in front of you. 

“Well, if you’re ready to get back at it?” The Deputy Ambassador spoke to Kylo but looked at you. 

“Let’s.” Kylo’s voice was firm and loud, and it demanded attention. You looked at Kylo, who was glaring at Dumbass, who was staring at you. 

“I’m so sorry, my dear. You must find this so incredibly boring,” the condescension coming off him was punctuated by his over-enunciation of the _b._

You forced your lips not to sneer in repulsion and schooled your face, relaxing your eyebrows and keeping them level instead of letting them take off into the sky like they wanted. 

“Oh no. not at all.” you smiled tightly, shifting back a step as he came closer. 

“I know this is probably all out of your reach, but we do appreciate your dedication - given the circumstances…. “ he had the audacity to look forlorn, frowning at you like a child. 

“Yes, things can always be so awkward after treason.”

You bit back a bark of laughter. _Dry and droll Kylo Ren._

Sufficiently reprimanded, the Deputy Ambassador fell back in line with his fellow idiots and cleared his throat as they all looked at each other awkwardly and expectantly. He chuckled too loudly, brushing off the Supreme Leader’s comments and ushered the group back inside. Kylo brought up the rear with you. You snuck a glance at him, but he was back to wherever he was where his thoughts overtook him. You moved away from the group to go sit back in your seat at the far end of the room, but again, Kylo grabbed your elbow and guided you to the seat to his left. The officer sitting there scurried out of your way and another chair was brought for him to sit him. You settled your skirts as the table played musical chairs for a minute while everyone found their place. The Deputy Ambassador sat in front of Kylo and judged your presence with a sidelong glance. 

“Wouldn't you be more comfortable in quarters? These talks can be so _long_ and _tedious_ , and someone like you - of your _position_ \- might get bored. I’d _hate_ for that to happen,” you prayed he choked on his opinion of you. 

“Thank you for your concern, but I am quite happy and capable of any position The Supreme Leader puts me in,” you replied back sharply, looking around the room for someone and purposefully refusing to give Dumbass your attention. 

“May I have a clean glass, please?” you smiled as you asked, directing your request sweetly into the room and dismissing the Deputy Ambassador. 

Fingers straight, Kylo slid his over to you with the back of his hand, and you took it without looking at him. Picking up the glass, you hovered it by your lips while returning the Deputy Ambassador’s heated glare and took a deep drink. 

_Tell him you want the moon._

Kylo’s instructions were punctuated by the heaviness of the glass sounding as you put it down on the table. 

“We flew by your moon on the way in. Absolutely gorgeous,” you commented off handedly, watching a server put another glass in front of The Supreme Leader. He ignored them, and you smiled and nodded your head in thanks. 

_We want the mines and the quarry._

“Is that where you sourced the stone for the reflecting pool?”

Dumbass sighed, “Yes, it is.” 

“It was such a shame I didn’t get to see it at sunset. Hopefully we can today if an agreement can be made?” You looked at Kylo hopefully, and he nodded in agreement. You turned back to Dumbass.

“I’m sure it wasn’t as spectacular in the middle of the night,” he folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in his seat, a smug little smirk on his face. 

“No, it wasn’t. You should put better lighting in there to showcase it,” you ignored his intent and scored one for yourself as he scoffed and stared you down. 

_When you cut his head off, can I be there?_

You made a point of deliberate eye contact to remind the Kreliki that you and the Supreme Leader could project your thoughts into each other before reaching for the data pad in front of Kylo.

“I didn’t see any settlements there,” you swiped through it, leaning forward just enough to be able to lift your eyes to Dumbass. 

“No, it’s long since abandoned,” the tone of his voice was derisive and petty.

“So, it’s just basically a big rock sitting up there?”

“That _is_ what moons are, dear.”

You smiled tight lipped at him while snickers sounded from the Kreliki men until Kylo cleared his throat. They fell quiet quickly, betraying their alliance to The Deputy Ambassador.

Settling back in your seat, reading through the data pad, you tell Kylo to pick another topic so he moves on, talking about how there will be a military installation on each side of the planet and the Kreliki men to serve in The First Order military. The disagreement was immediate and vehement and loud. 

Officers from both sides of the table start chiming in. Several men have started yelling, a couple are standing as they vocalize their dissent and make their points. You look at Kylo. He feels big, and has completely blocked you out. His jaw is set and moving side to side as Deputy Dumbass is carrying on, rallying support from the rest of the room. First Order military officers are shouting back at them. The Knights are still statues lining the wall, backs stuck against them, staring down the Kreliki soldiers standing guard.

_This is fucking ridiculous._

You sighed and rolled your eyes. Reaching for the glass Kylo had given you earlier, you purposefully knock it over, spilling water onto the table. Standing, you start to apologize and move things out of the way, calling for servers to bring something to wipe up the mess.

It had its desired effect. The men shut up to gawk at your awkwardness. As towels are brought in, you refused help and started cleaning up your own mess. There's an uncomfortable and pregnant silence in the room. 

“So, if you don’t want us here,” you started tentatively, “why don’t we just set up on your moon and leave you alone down here?” You kept wiping up the water. “You can keep your soldiers unless they want to join the First Order, and we will only call your army when we need them?” you phrased the offer as a question and handed the wet towels back to the servers and apologized again. You took your seat as Deputy Dumbass responded.

“You want us to sign our moon over to the First Order.” A statement. Not a question. 

You shrug and sat down. 

“It just seems like a good way to make everyone happy. I mean, if no one lives there, you don’t use it for anything….and you’d rather not be …” you searched for an unoffending phrase but failed.

“...overrun by First Order rats.” Kylo supplied, unamused. You frowned and turned back to Dumbass. 

“That's not very nice.” you chastised him for his thoughts. “Let’s be nice and say that you aren't eager to see Troopers every where - it kind of seems like a big dumb rock hanging up in the sky seems like it would be small price to pay for autonomy, and I bet your people would prefer that to war.” 

You could see him sucking on his teeth as he begrudgingly listened. 

“Deputy Ambassador, humor me. Let’s pretend you think I’m an idiot and don’t understand all this big war _stuff_ , but correct me if I am wrong - and I’m not - but you aren’t a fan of the First Order.” 

You look at Kylo then back at Dumbass. 

“That was rhetorical. But I’d advise not answering that,” you sidelined to the Deputy Ambassador

Kylo cut in. 

“He doesn’t have to…” 

You ignored Kylo’s commentary.

“But if you don’t want us here, wouldn’t it just be best if we just took your moon if it meant we didn’t set up militarized zones on the planet?” 

The Kreliki group was listening, no longer just humoring you. 

“And if you did come across a need for more stone, then The First Order will assume the cost of the quarry and simply send you the rock,” you anticipated the question and answered it before it was asked. 

Someone down the table questioned if you could even make that offer, but Kylo hand shot up and silenced them. The room grew quiet again. 

You were cold and wet, and you’d done your part. Assuming the airhead role again, you excused yourself and left for quarters and warmer, dryer clothes. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe you, dear reader. These past two weeks have been awful, but here we are. You deserve better and will get it. Cross my heart.


	19. Fancy a Drink?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it you pour a drink or two.

You’d been drifting in and out of sleep, head propped in your hand, leaning against the side of the couch. One of the Boys had followed you out and escorted you back to your Kreliki quarters and remained with you. Just as you’d been unmoving from your spot, the Knight had stayed in his chair in the dining area, legs lazily spread, arms across his armored chest. You sighed heavily and more dramatically than the situation called for. Out the window, behind the thin, gauzy curtains, the day was fading and the suns were bleeding their colors onto a cotton candy colored sky. The pinks, yellows and purples the setting suns were spewing into the sky were darkening as you watched, turning into reds, oranges and blues as they dropped lower into the horizon. Time passing had your eyes flicking to the elaborately carved clock on the wall. You felt bad for how much time Kylo had spent dealing with Deputy Dumbass, but not bad enough to go back and join him in for the rest of the negotiations. This was - after all - his problem, responsibility and fault, but you were still bored. You were irritated that your boredom was just as Dumbass had predicted. 

“Do we know when he's coming back?” You twisted your dice around your fingers - your boredom habit.

_No answer. No big shocker there._

You’d gotten used to the silence of the Knights. They were not tied to your bidding. They brought all the supervision of a babysitter but none of the fun. You’d even be satisfied with a handful of crayons at this point. 

The sudden movement of the Knight stranding up and tugging on his chest plate was the only warning you got that the Supreme Leader was arriving. You leapt to your feet because the other guy had, and faced the door, dropping the dice onto the coffee table. The cloud of anger that followed him in poisoned the space around him , and you stepped away from him. Kylo waved a hand, dismissing his Knight. The Knight nodded at you, face mask blank, before taking his escape. 

Kylo was storming his way through the kitchen, angry that what he wanted wasn’t immediately appearing before him, and angry over what was actually upsetting him. You watched him flinging open doors, looking for something, then slamming them shut again. After the third slam, you went over, reaching around him to the cabinet that he had just closed, and pulled a glass from the shelves, added ice from the cooling unit, and moved to the counter to pour his drink. You offered it to him, but pulled it just out of his reach for a moment. 

“Do not prove him right,” with that you handed the glass to him, and watching his hand tighten around it, fearful he would either crush it with the pressure of his grip or fling it across the room. Instead, Kylo surprised you by sharply nodding and downing it in one, long swallow. Gently, he placed it back onto the counter with an echoing thud. 

“You okay now?” you asked, leaning your back against the counter. 

He nodded again, saying he was okay, but his hands were still clenched at his side. 

“Give me,” you held your hands out, opening and closing them, asking for him to put his hands in yours. Quiet still, he did, and you tugged his gloves off and put them on the counter beside the glass.

“Step closer?” you reached your hands up to the clasp of his cloak, unbuckled it, and pulled it over his shoulder, folded it neatly and stacked it under the gloves. 

“Another?” you motioned to the cup. He shook his head. “Then go sit.”

He watched you a few beats before following orders and moving over to the couch. You followed him, holding your hand out for his saber. Questioning, but still allowing it, he handed it over, and you put it on the low table in front of him. You looked at him a moment, hands on your hips, studying him. You motioned a grabbing motion with your hand again. 

_Belt._

Shrugging up, he undid his belt, and dropped it into your hand. You folded it best you could and put it on the table with the saber. Your dice next to them. 

He was tired, annoyed, and had run out of patience. You made your mind up. You went back to the kitchen, refilled his glass and brought it over, placing it on a smooth, white stone coaster made from the same material as The Reflecting Pool. It sat next to his saber, both waiting ready for him if needed. 

“You will want it later, and I don’t want to get back up,” you explained simply, taking a seat at his feet. Your skirts spilled around you, covering his feet, and you moved them out of the way as you sat back on your knees. You went to work, unlacing his boots and working to pull them off. Kylo sighed and threw his head against the back of the couch, stretching one arm along the back, the other pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“That bad?” You asked, knowing the answer. You pulled one boot off, and moved to undo the laces on the other. 

“Worse. He’s the reason why nepotism is a bad idea.”

You laughed at his answer, tumbling backwards as you freed his foot from the other boot. Sitting back up, you took the pair and stood them at attention at the side of the couch. You made to get up, but Kylo poked you with his toe and stopped you. Eyebrows raised, he wiggled his toes at you, and you smirked. 

“Oh no, you can take those off yourself, Supreme Leader,” you wrinkled your nose, pretending like they stank, waving your hand in front of your nose to chase the smell away. 

He nudged you with his foot again, and you sighed, acquiescing. Neither of you had expected you to do anything less. He wiggled his toes at you a second time, and you pulled them off, reaching around the sofa to shove them in the boots.

Using his knees to brace yourself, you got off your knees and sat on the other side of the couch, leaving an empty seat between the two of you. You watched as he reached for his drink. This time he sipped it, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs, letting the glass hang in his fingers between his legs. 

You watched his throat as he swallowed. He took another sip, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before turning to you and offering you the last sip. You shook your head, but took it from him as he finished it and put it back on it’s coaster. He was ruminating, arms spread across the back of the couch, head thrown back, eyes closed. 

“Ok, that’s enough. Come on,” you tugged at his arm and swung your legs onto the sofa, crossing them before pulling him down until his head was in your lap, his long legs dangling over the armrest, hanging lazily. 

“When I joined the Order, I would spend hours staring at the wall with ‘angry eyebrows’ - that’s what the Priestess would call them - and my entire body would ache and pound from it.” You looked down at his head in your lap, at the two parallel worry lines between his brows. They were cut deep into his face as if they had been chiseled into it. You pressed your thumb between them, stroking downwards, loosening the tension there. Kylo’s eyes stayed closed as you continued rubbing your thumbs outwards from his forehead, down the sides of his face and against the sides of his nose before circling back to where they began. 

“One day, the Priestess pulled me into her chambers, deeper in the temple, and sat me on the floor like this, my head in her lap, and massaged my face just like this,” you lightened the pressure you were using as you moved to his temples. “She just sat there, massaging my face. She didn’t say anything, but within minutes I was sobbing hysterically,” you thought back, seeing the memory in your head as if you had been watching a hologram of it instead of being the one who lived it. “She kept going, even though my face was wet with tears, and my hair was soaked, and I left a puddle on her skirts.”

“I’m not going to cry, Treasure,” his voice was growly but harmless. 

You clicked your tongue at him. “I wouldn’t expect you to.” 

Your hands stilled, fingers on his temples again. 

“You could keep going and see if I will,” he wiggled his head in your lap, urging you to continue.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re a big pussy cat?” you teased, moving your hands to his hair, running it between your fingers as you played with it. 

With that his eyes opened. 

“You will take that with you to your grave, Treasure, or I will put you in it.”

Your fingers stopped, and you looked at him, nodding solemnly in agreement. He closed his eyes again and waved you on, and you absentmindedly played with his hair, watching the glimmering of the lights out of the window as the sunsets were snuffed out. 

“He really hates you,” Kylo spoke to the ceiling while you fiddled with his hair. Laughing you tugged on a strand, teasing him again, choosing to ignore his previous threat. 

“Good, the feeling is mutual.”

“He figured it out after he agreed to it,” 

You barked out a laugh, and Kylo fed images of Dumbass’ face, mouth agape, opening and closing like a suffocating fish, furious with you for your manipulation and use of your feminine wiles. You watched Dumbass grow more and more agitated, jumping from his chair, yelling at Kylo, spewing obscenities and indecencies about the two of you. The longer the scene played, the more repulsed you felt. You were about to ask Kylo to cut the feed when he did it on his own. 

You took a steading breath, raising your eyebrows sarcastically. 

“I can see why you wanted to throw things earlier.” He scoffed and used the Force to move your hands in his hair again. 

“You’re welcome,” he paused a moment. “He deserves to die,” Kylo settled himself back, closing his eyes again and crossing his arms across his chest, pinning his hands under them. 

“Mhm,” you carelessly agreed, preoccupied with registering the current situation: Supreme Leader’s head cradled in your lap, his hair slipping through your fingers. You looked down at him, taking in the way his thick, dark eyelashes fanned out from his closed eyes. Your hands moved from his hair to trace along his hairline, brushing down the side of his face, down his jaw and back up; your fingers rasped as they scraped against the grain of his stubble. You caught yourself as he sighed, and went back to stroking his hair. 

“Stay with me,”

“I’m right here, where else would I go?”

“No, stay with me.” His tone hinted at a poorly hidden plea.

“You won’t let me go anywhere else,” you sighed, running your hands back through his hair. 

“But would you?” he tilted his head further back, forcing you to stop again. 

“Would I what?” You held eye contact.

“Go anywhere else,” he supplied quickly

“There’s nowhere else _to_ go,” you left your tone flat. There was nowhere else to go. The man was everywhere. 

“But would you?” 

“I don’t know, Kylo,” you wished you had paused so it seemed like you cared more, but translating his questions and deciphering what he said and pulling the subtext from the conversation was tiring and wearing your patience thin. 

“So you’ll stay.” He said it more as a definitive statement made in agreement between the two of you rather than his asking the question again. 

“You don’t leave me a choice,” you gave up.

“You don’t want a choice,” he shot back with full conviction.

“No, I guess right now I don’t,” you tapped your fingers at the side of his head, digging them deeper and scratching gently at his scalp. 

Feeling him studying your face, you stopped again and looked down at him. 

“What?” you asked. 

He was more languid and relaxed than when he had come in, but now looked focused and determined. You watched him reach his hand up and slide it behind your head and pull you down for a kiss. 

_That’s unexpected._

The kiss was warm and soft, closed mouth. You watched his reaction as he pulled away, dropping his hand on your neck, swinging his legs off the armrest and sitting up. 

He stood, holding his hand out; the corner of his lip twitching when you slid yours into his without question. You ran your hand past his palm, running your fingers along the skin inside his wrist. Your fingers crept under his shirt cuffs as far as the space allowed, teasing your nails against him as you withdrew. His hand clenched, stopping you palm-to-palm. As a pair, you watched together as your hands twisted up, linked together. You rounded your fingers, tracing his long fingers up and down, widening their reach. Kylo stopped you, holding your wrist in the air. 

You look at him, questioning. Brow furrowed, he studied your face, as you gently took your hand back from him. His lips moved as he waffled between speaking and silence. You touched your face nervously. Your cheeks were hot to the touch. 

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” His whisper cracked at the end, making your face heat more. You heard his tongue sticking to the insides of his mouth when he spoke. He took your hands off your face and replaced them with his own. Mouth falling open with your inhale, you smiled crookedly to the lines etched between his brows, nodding almost imperceptibly 

You sighed into the kiss, knees dropping. Kylo’s hands raced to hold you up, catching you against him. Your arms wound up from between your bodies and wrapped around his neck. Your back arched your body into his, and he followed the curve of it with his own. The arm around your waist slid down under your butt to your thighs, and he hauled you against him, lifting you into his arms. His arms locked underneath you, holding you to him as you tried to link your legs around his back, but your feet tangled in your skirts, and you kicked against them, distracting you from the kiss. Kylo nipped at your lower lip, pulling it between his teeth and sucking on it. You gave up on your skirts, and were consumed by him again. You dropped your legs, dangling against him as he put your feet gentle against the floor. 

Before he could straighten, your arms around his neck pulled him back to you. He smiled widely against your lips, and you released him and pulled away to glare. The wide darkness of his pupils softened you, and you surrendered, sighing against his mouth. 

Breathless, you took a step back, running your hand against your own hair, puffing out a long exhale through tightly pursed lips. 

“Kriff, where did you learn to do that?” 

Kylo smirked guiltily and shrugged, dabbing the corner of his pinked mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Kiss a girl like that and she will think you like her, Kylo Ren,” you backed up further, pacing away, hands on your hips, giving him your back and hiding your face and overthinking the kiss. 

“Why do you think you’re still alive, Treasure?” he teased you, tugging at your wrist and turning you back to face him, braid swinging over your shoulder as you spun towards him. He plucked it off your chest and swung it back behind you again. 

You swallowed hard. 

“Pity.” 

He almost grimaced, but caught himself, only the lines between his drawn brows giving him away - the ones you’d just tried to erase away. 

“Well, you deserved it,” his voice cracked, mouth sounding dry again, his tongue sticking to his lips. . 

“So did you,” you rejected his answer, standing your ground, holding one arm across your chest. You lifted your chin defiantly at him. He raised an eyebrow at you, regarding you like a kitten trying to portray the lion, and deepened his stance, shifting from leg to leg, spreading them, lowering himself to your height. He stared at you, daring you.

“Now what?” You gave in, losing the stare off and dropping your eyes, pinging them across his features before skirting them back to his eyes. 

“I could kiss you like that again,” he supplied, shrugging casually and smiling deviously at you. He tilted his head at you, hair falling across his eyes.

“Stop doing that,” he didn’t drop his smile. “You can’t keep being mean to me, Kylo,” without thinking, you reached and pushed his hair out of his eyes. 

“You’re over thinking, Treasure,” grabbing your wrist, he moved your hand away from his face and stood up to his full height. Trying to take your hand back from him only pulled him closer to you. You stood together, toes bumping against his. His arm slid into the small of your back, and you leaned against it, letting your head loll back as you looked up at him. 

“I hate when you tell me that,” you let your weight fall into his arms, resting your hands on his forearms. 

“Then stop looking for meaning where there is none,” he warned, pulling you flush to his chest. His other arm circled your waist, hand spanning between your shoulder blades, the other at your waist sliding down to cup your bottom. Your breath hitched, but you held the forceful eye contact he’d initiated, neck still stretched back to look at him. 

“So there’s no meaning in this?” you halfheartedly pushed at his chest, but neither of you budged. He held you tucked against his chest. His eyes drew away, down to your exposed neck, narrowing as your pulse hammered through your head from his closeness. 

“Are you staying?” His words rumbled into your skin. His tongue slid roughly across the beat before his teeth nipped at it. Your breath sucked in, choking you. Kylo kissed up your neck to your jaw, and your fingers dug into his forearms as he held up upright. 

“Are we going anywhere?” you managed, sputtering the words against his lips at the side of your mouth. You brushed yours against his, retreating them away and moving your head to the side. Kylo dropped his arms from around you, and you leaned into him. He chuckled under his breath as you did what he had expected you to.

Lifting your head from his chest, you moved away, but he advanced, following you. He stepped forward again, pushing you to take another step backwards. He continued closing in on you, and you continued to back away until you stood against the wall, leaning against it for support. 

Wordlessly, you watched him lower himself to his knees, settling at your feet.

_Roles reversed._

His hands reached for your hips, sliding down their curves, his callouses scratching against the softness of the dress, moving down to your ankles. He lowered his hands under the fabric, sending your breath hissing as he raised your skirts. Reaching blindly, you sunk your hand into his hair, grabbing a fistful of it and anchoring yourself to him while he lifted them up to your waist. He pressed a chaste kiss onto your mound, moaning against it lewdly. You arched against the wall, using your hand in his hair to press yourself against his mouth, the movement involuntary. 

He laughed against you while he moved his hands back down to your ankles, circling his fingers around them like shackles clasping shut. 

“You never have shoes on, Treasure,” he teased, tickling at the tops of them.

"Well, you never take yours off," you shot back. 

"It's a military thing," his answer made sense. 

You shifted, stifling a reluctant giggle. His hands slid upwards again, fingers spreading, palms moving to the outside of your thighs until he reached the straps of your underwear. Hooking his fingers into them, he made you look at him as he pulled them down and had you step out of them. He left them on the floor beside his feet as he rose from his knees in front of you. Coming to you, he pressed his body against yours, melting you into the wall and told you to take off the dress. 

Still silent, you nodded your head in agreement, but neither of you moved to take it off so it stayed on. 

“Good girl,” he pressed a kiss to your cheek, and your breath escaped with his warmth when he stepped away and into the other room, unspoken order for you to follow. 

Still clothed and apprehensive, you followed him into the bedroom, stopping as soon as you stepped in, watching him lift his shirt off his body. You swallowed wrong and choked on your spit, coughing and sputtering, hand clasped to your chest.

“Kriff, Treasure,” bare chested and highly distracting, Kylo came over, clapping his hand on your back. You waved him off, catching your breath and eyeing his chest again. “You stopped in the middle of the doorway,” he pointed out your bad habit.

“You distracted me,” you shot back, avoiding looking at his chest or the pants that cut high across his torso. He reached out for your hand, tugging you into the room with him. Tucked back against his naked chest, you were hyper aware of your underwear on the floor, left behind, and his shirt on the floor behind him. 

“You don’t trust me,” the realization and words were flat. 

“Not like this, no,” you admitted, this time wrapping your arms around him in response. You felt the muscles in his back tense under your hands as he ran his up the sides of your arms to rest on your shoulders. They squeeze tightly, pressing just too hard into your skin, and you bristled and twisted for a looser grip.

“Get on your knees,” the syllables were gravel in your ear. His hands pushed you down until you were at your familiar spot, head bowed, hands open on your knees, sitting at the Supreme Leader’s feet.

At the order forced into your mind, you reached for the waist of his pants, sliding your fingers into the space between the fabric and his skin, smiling like a cat eating the canary in self satisfaction when he tensed. 

_On your knees, you’re back in control._

Your smile dropped with his thoughts. Mouth taut, you jerkily undid his pants and pulled them down to his knees, holding them at the cuff while he stepped out of them before doing the same to his underwear and rushing back to your feet. 

_Take it off._

Irritated, you huffed, pulling the dress over your head and threw it at him. He waved his hand and it fell to the side, missing its target. You held each other’s eyes in challenge, missing the graceful way the fabric floated down in voluminous waves before flattening into a black puddle between you. 

“I took it off earlier. It was irritating,” you refused to cover your breasts in front of him and lifted your chin in contempt.

“Sure helped your mood,” he grumbled again, looking absolutely ridiculous standing there, buck ass naked, arms across his chest, lips thick and pouty with sarcasm. 

“Anyone ever tell you you’re an asshole?” you spat at him, hands fisting, arms straight at your side with conviction. His eyes dropped to your breasts as you spoke, watching them sway with your movement. “Fuck you, Kylo Ren.” The last straw, you covered them and reached down, sweeping your hands out for your dress. You tried to pull it over your head so you could turn on your heel and storm out, but you were frozen. 

“Let me go, you stupid nerf fucker,” you struggled against the Force holding you in place, but the only thing you could move was your tongue so you let it loose. “I’d rather take a bantha tusk all the way up the ass - sideways - than be here with you! Let me go!” 

You felt each step he took as he walked up behind you, stopping just short of pressing the front of his body against the back of yours. 

“You just want to fight because you won’t admit you want to stay.”

“Eat Mudhorn shit.” He stepped closer. 

“And you want to blame me for Hux bringing you here,” he stepped around you, somehow more foreboding naked than he ever had been clothed. 

“I hope your TIE fighter explodes with you in it and Jawas part your corpse out ,” if you could have spit on him, you would have. 

“But you’re just mad because you want to stay,” your body dropped as he released you. 

Immediately, your hands went up to push him. He didn’t give you the satisfaction of moving; he never did. 

“Not having anywhere to go isn’t the same as wanting to stay, you porg-brain nitwit.”

“If you need help shutting your mouth, I can help,” his hollow offer was not an empty threat. You swallowed your next insult, but stood your ground. 

“That’s better, Treasure,” he cooed his approval while he reached for your braid and undid the ends, letting your hair fall loose around your shoulders. You shivered as he reached up and pushed it out of your face, trailing his finger down and over your cheek like you’d done to him on the couch. You wet your lips, capturing the bottom in your teeth nervously when he spread his fingers across your neck, letting the weight of his arm hold there like a frozen pendulum. Squeezing lightly, he used his grip to pull your mouth to his. 

The kiss was deceptively simple and chaste; a slow but deliberate passing over of lips. Leaning into his grasp, you rose up, pressing your mouth to him again, repeating the kiss. You volleyed it back and forth, each pass harder and more intentional until arms were tangled and hands were grabbing and petting. He bit into your lower lip, tugging you back for another, sliding his tongue back into your mouth and stroking your tongue. You moaned, sinking into him, nipples peaked, rubbing against his chest. Kylo moved you both backwards, stepping over your discarded puddle of a dress until the back of your legs hit against the edge of the bed. 

With your arms locked around his neck and his around your waist, you climbed backwards onto the bed. Unmoving, he hovered over you, lips still pressed together as you crawled on your back to the head of the bed, settling into the pillows. Seeking his warmth, you writhed against him, legs wide around his body. Hunched over you, his hair fell in both your faces, and moved your hands to hold it out of the way, but it fell back over his eyes as he straightened his back, knees on either side of body. Your legs fell open, draped over his thighs. 

As per usual, his mouth was pressed into a flat line and his brow was furrowed as he decided not to say what he was thinking. You shook your head at him that it didn’t matter. The corners of his mouth flashed a frown, and he looked at you, as a whole. You watched his eyes try to find a place to stop, but they moved down your body, making your shiver. Kylo wrapped his hand around his cock, pumping lazily as he looked over your breasts, down your stomach and to the V between your spread legs. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you watched him stroke himself to your body. 

“Holy shit, Kylo,” your head fell onto the pillows again, back arching as he guided his first to rub your open slit with his thick head. He slapped it against your clit, then dragged it down to press against your opening, then back up, smearing your wetness between you. He repeated the movement until you were writhing along with him, searching for more pressure or pleasure - just more than the edge he had you on, but he kept moving away, refusing to give you more. 

Already devolved to the begging he preferred, you reached for him again, reaching your hands behind his neck to pull his mouth back down to yours. You pleaded for more to his mouth, hands on the sides of his face, holding his hair out of your way again. You asked again to the corner of his eye, the socket of his jaw, the ridge of his nose before praying to his mouth for another taste. He answered with a slanted kiss full of tongue and poured it into mouth as he positioned himself to move inside you. 

You stilled under him, mouth caught up in a silent cry as he fed himself into you, the weight and warmth of his body pressing you down into the bed while your brain exploded out in tingles at the end of every hair that he had undone from your braid that now laid strewn across the pillows under you. Chin tipped back, he moved his tongue to swipe and suck at your neck. Heavy with feeling, your arms and legs wrapped around him, finding ways to stay touching and connected to him. 

He rocked into you, moving up from your neck to mouth again. Kissing you slowly, he pulled away and hovered over you, looking deeply into you. Your hands around his neck guided him back down and kept his face hidden. He rose up over you a second time to look down on you while your hips rocked against each other. Again, you pushed his eyes away.

“Don’t look at me,” you gasped as he nipped at your ear and wrapped his hand around your neck. He straightened up, the hand around your neck tightening while the other went to brace himself against the wall. 

He held himself up and drove into you harder, and you cried out, closing your eyes as he moved inside you, sawing deep. 

“Open your eyes, Treasure,” His hand on your neck moved to your jaw. He squeezed it, pressing his fingertips into the joints on either side, and your eyes opened in pain as you tried to pull away from him. He wrenched your face back to his and continued to drive into you. 

Pushing off the wall, he released your jaw, and sat back on his heels, repositioning your legs, slapping at your breasts when you closed your eyes. 

“Look at me, Treasure,” he moved your legs onto his shoulder, holding them together against his torso. The new position had him hitting deeper. You cried out, pushing at his arms to keep him from bottoming out, but he pushed through your grimace and reminded you to open your eyes again. When you didn’t, he forced his way into your head, showing you what he saw: you splayed out under him, breasts swaying with his thrusts, hair wild, eyes screwed shut. 

“You make me feel unstable,” you groaned out, opening your eyes back up. The images stopped, and he rewarded your cooperation by rubbing a spit soaked thumb across your clit. 

“Every time you close your eyes, I stop, Treasure,” you sucked in an inhale and your hips shot out for more friction against your clit, but it stopped and the vision restarted when you reflexively closed your eyes. He purred affirmations when you opened them again and held them wide while he rubbed and squeezed your clit between his knuckles. You felt your orgasm building and sucked in breath after breath, forgetting to exhale, stuck staring a blank hole into his face as you followed orders. 

Cursing, Kylo threw your legs wide and fell on top of you, and you wrapped them around him again. He forgave you for closing your eyes to kiss him, as he sped up his thrusts and whispered orders into your ear, urging you to come for him. When he moved his hand back to your neck and squeezed, pressing on your pulse until stars danced at the corners of your vision like they had out of the windows when you were hovering about the planet, staring at the suns. His hand on your neck and mouth on your ear, you came around him, eyes wide and breath stolen; he sped up, fucking you for his own orgasm as you rode yours out. You slapped at his hand to release you, and he did as he came, falling against your body, letting his weight crush into you before he fell to the side, stretching his legs out with pointed toes. 

As you caught your breath, you reached behind your head and pulled out a pillow, holding it over your body to cover it. Kylo’s long arm reached out and patted your thigh, half touching the pillow and half slapping wetly against your leg. Awkward silence was settling in between your two heaving breathing patterns.

“Now what?” you asked bluntly, clutching the pillow tightly for lack of knowing what else to do. 

“I was hoping you’d fall asleep so I could leave,” he laughed at the ridiculousness of his admission.

“You could just leave?” you offered, hoping he’d go or at least get off the bed so you could dive under the covers. As soon as you thought it, he got up. You wasted no time scurrying into the blankets while he dressed, sitting on the edge of the bed to pick his pants off the floor and pull them on. Without a word, he put them on, squeezed your foot hidden under the sheets and left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this awkward chapter so much.


	20. Electric Avenue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you absolutely cannot, but if you did, it would be purple.

The bed dipped as Kylo sat on its edge, and you rolled away from him while he shook your arm gently to wake you up. You tried to burrow yourself into the blankets, but the covers were pulled away and tossed to the foot of the bed, and you were left cold and rudely awakened. As much as you tried to ignore it, Kylo refused to let you. Using the Force, he hauled you up to standing and shoved your clothes at you. Groggily, you clutched at them because dropping them wasn’t an option. Satisfied you were awake, Kylo set you down on the side of the bed. He felt big - but different - _off._ Whatever it was, he was radiating big _hurry up_ vibes. Running a hand through your unbound hair, you pushed it back out of your face to parse out your surroundings. 

It was still dark in the room. The same single bedside lamp turned on that had been there before threw a thin, weak band of light across the floor that only made the shadows of where it didn’t touch fade blacker. 

You looked at Kylo. He was fully dressed, but not freshly, clothes fading into the dark of the room. He smelled like sex and burnt electricity. You spotted his saber against his hip, hanging and swaying with as he shifted on his feet, worrying his heels into the carpet. Across his torso, a blaster hung on the opposite side. 

“Um, where’s my -” you looked at the dress and shoes in your lap and wondered where the rest of your things were. He told you to ignore them, and having no other choice, you did. You got dressed quickly but warily, slipping your boots on without your thick socks to cushion the inside of the leather scraping the back of your heels. Going with your gut, you laced them tight and ready.

“What happened?” Kylo banged his hand fist against the wall twice in succession, signaling to his men, and the Knights stormed in. Someone handed your cloak off to you, and you threw it over your shoulders. It fluttered out behind you, opening and fanning onto the bed as it settled as you fastened it over your loose hair. You tugged it out of the collar then patted your pockets to feel for the hidden dice. 

_Thank Kriff._

While he spoke with them, you wandered over to the window, pulling back an edge of the heavy curtain. It was still dark outside, too, and the moon was lazy against the horizon. It had to be mid morning hours. Yawning, you dropped the curtain back to closed and rejoined the men. Kylo talked around them. One of the Knights handed something over to Kylo who then turned to hand it to you. 

“A blaster?” It was heavier than you remembered them being. This was an older, clunky model, and you almost dropped it when it was put into your hands because the weight of it caught you so off guard. You recovered from your fumble and examined it. 

“Why do I need a blaster? Why are you giving _me_ a blaster?” You swallowed tightly knowing absolutely full well what this meant.. 

_This isn’t good. There was no good reason why you would have been woken up in the middle of the night from a dead sleep and handed a damn blaster._

Your sabers made their way over to you, too, but Kylo tucked them against your side and held up your wrist holding the blaster to indicate you should use it first. You sucked in a shallow breath and held it. He was calm, purposefully calm. A little too calm. You nodded in compulsory agreement.

The Supreme Leader bent down, put his gloved hands on your shoulders, and brought his face to yours. 

“Try not to shoot the good guys.” 

The absurdity of Kylo Ren considering himself a good guy had you slapping your empty hand over your mouth to hold in a bark of laughter. Swallowing it back, you smiled tightly and took a deep breath and shoved a tight smile across your face.

He cared enough to give you a hollow smirk before squeezing your shoulders and turning around, stepping in front of you to act as a shield. Two of the Knights started your exit processional, sweeping widely out of the room and into the hallway. Everyone else was still and silent as they waited. 

You jumped at the sounds of blaster fire, trying to retreat away from it only to step into the chest of Dead-O. He nudged you off of him, pushing you to pay attention and face forward. You pointed the blaster towards the ground, tightening your grip on it and mentally steadying yourself. In front of you, Kylo reached back without looking and pushed you to stand where he wanted you. As brusque as it was, you were begrudgingly reassured by it. 

_It didn’t help much, though._

The door opened again, and you stood your ground, only shifting slightly to be better hidden behind the Knights and Kylo’s broad - and more importantly - armored - outlines. A gloved hand waved to you through the doorway and you all moved out, you sandwiched between pairs of Knights of Ren, guided by their Master, the Supreme Leader. 

Creeping through the corridor, it was quiet, save the chorus of boot heels striking the stone floor, dampened slightly by the woven carpets below. Your footfalls melded with theirs, and you wafted in line behind them as they cocooned your journey to - somewhere. The chorus of your movements were muddied and hurried, and the back of your heels were being rubbed roughly by the raw leather interior of your boots. The pain was screaming into your head, and you focused on it, using it to dissociate and tumble into the static of your thoughts until Kylo shoved his way in. 

_The ship._

He stayed facing forward, moving quickly but steadily to overtake two of his Knights to lead the group. With a practiced and unconscious flick of his wrist, his saber crackled to life, spewing sound and sharp, red light across everything, tinting your shadows with its malicious intent. Your group continued down the hall, coming to a corner. He held his fist up in the air, and the group halted immediately. The familiar sign did the trick, and you watched them fall back into training and instinct. 

Slipping a hand into your pocket, you pulled the dice out and pressed them to your lips quickly before shoving them back inside their hiding spot. Your mouth moved as you recited your prayers and hugged closer to the wall as you came to the wide openness of the main chamber. You ignored the glory of the moon hanging in the center of the long skylight as your group moved through the atrium, stepping through moonbeams.

Kylo dropped his arm, and two Knights came up, pushing through the front, separating and spreading. They were quiet until they weren’t. Instinctually, you squatted down on your toes, back against the wall as blaster fire echoed from around the corner where the Knights had gone. 

Moving as one around you, the Master and his Knights of Ren surrounded you, propelling you around the corner as a single, undulating mass. Gripping your blaster tightly, your eyes danced around their silhouettes as you tried to stay vigilant but failed to. You focused so intently on making out the fuzziness and grey around you that you missed the sounds of glass shattering above and raining down. You were thrown against the wall by Kylo’s outstretched hand, an invisible barrier keeping the shards from hitting you. You were already braced for impact when you looked up at the missing window that transected the main atrium of the building. You crouched down again, firing wide at the shadowy figures above you. The room was lit up with the red swings of the saber as it deflected blaster shots from overhead. 

“Watch out!” you screamed out as you saw the shadowy figures toss what you assumed were detonators down at your group. You weren’t heard well over the noise, but Kylo must have heard your thoughts. Mid air, the blinking detonators hovered a moment before reversing trajectory and exploding over the heads of soldiers. The Knights took their shot, and three men fell off their feet simultaneously, one of them falling down the hole they had created. His body hit the stone floor with a heavy thud, and your stomach rolled at the angle his joints took when he landed. 

_Later. Let’s move._

The Force was no longer holding you, but you were still leaning against the wall. Kylo nudged at your thoughts again, telling you to move, and you slid along the wall until it ended.

_Not at him, Treasure. Me._

You tore your eyes away from the dead man in your path, skirting around him to catch up to Kylo. Beside you, your Knights moved in closer, shoulder to shoulder, their weapons drawn as they escorted you behind their Master. Your blaster was hanging loosely at your side, heavy and warm in your wet palm. Seamlessly, they veered off in opposite directions as Kylo replaced them at your side and blindly reached for your empty hand to pull you along. 

“They’re just outside, aren’t they?” your feet struggled to match his long strides as you were hauled behind him, not keeping up well. His grip was firm across yours. 

“Yes,” was the simple answer. You were coming up to an exit. The Knights flung the door open and repeated their sweep. Your step lagged at the sounds of combat exploding in front of you, and the quiet that followed was equally nauseating. 

“I don’t want to shoot anyone,” you pleaded, squeezing his hand and forcing him to stop and look at you. His body was jerked as you pulled him back to you. Sighing impatiently and shooting a look at the door you were supposed to be walking through and then at you, holding your eyes for a split second before looking around the room.

“I know,” his hand around yours tightened and pulsed before he dropped it, positioning both his hands around his lightsaber hilt and setting his grip. 

“Stay here,” he warned, raising his eyebrows. 

You nodded in agreement. He gave you a sharp jerk of his chin before he exploded out the door, leaving you alone in the empty room. You sank back into your hiding crouch and leaned your body weight against it to keep steady. Shrinking into yourself, you waited. The silence of the empty room you were in was louder than the fighting on the other side of the wall was quieter and less harsh. This big, empty room with its broken ceiling was buzzing and stabbing your inner ears with its ringing. You sat alone with the noise, knees to your chest, blaster pointed at the sky, hands tented around it as if in prayer for the dead man you’d left lying on the ground like thrown away thrash. 

_Come out._

Without any sense of urgency, you stood up, letting the blaster drop lazily by your side, and walked openly out the door as you were called to do. Kylo was standing next to a speeder bike, glaring at you while he yelled directly into your brain for you to hurry up. He sounded disrupted and fuzzy, and his face flashed red like his saber in frustration as he grabbed at you and flung you onto the speeder bike behind him. Around you, the Knights were taking off, heading to their ship, while you were being urged to hurry up so you could do the same. 

Kylo easily pulled the blaster out of your hand; there was no resistance. You put your arms around his waist and rested your head on his back. Rubbing your face against the safety of his back, the fabric scratched your cheek as you grabbed your arms around him and pressed your thighs tight against the outside of his. You were lurched back as the speeder took off, and you clung tighter. You closed your eyes as the wind broke over his shoulders and cut his hair into your face. Your stomach rolled again as he banked the speeder, more hair stung and whipped you. 

_Hang on._

The speeder made a hard turn before going up a steep incline and dropping on the other side. 

_Choke it back._

You swallowed the mouthful of tangy spit that had pooled around your tongue and started repeating your prayers, but you couldn’t remember anything past the first two lines. You furrowed your brow, your face contorting and smearing between his shoulder blades like caught in a fever dream. He still smelled sweaty and like fire. 

_You need to get in as fast as you can. Ok, Treasure?_

Opening your eyes, you sat up, pulling your face away and into the biting wind. You blinked against the irritated wetness that flooded your eyes. The sleek, black ship was waiting for you with its sharp daggered points drawing you in. As you skidded to a stop, you flung your legs off the speeder, skirts flaring wide as you hung onto Kylo’s shoulder for support when your knees knocked with your first few steps. Repeating his order in your head until you were seated inside, you clumsily buckled yourself as Kylo started flipping switches and popping buttons while he sat down. 

You braced yourself for take off, shoving your foot against the comm center reflexively, trying to settle yourself physically and mentally as the ship shot low over the city before heading straight up out of the atmosphere. 

You pressed your head against the cold of the window, swallowing another mouthful of acid spit. Something heavy plopped onto your lap. You looked down, keeping your forehead against the chilled pane, and saw the blaster that had been taken from you earlier. You ignored it, turning to press your cheek back against the window. 

“I went back to talk to him. Things escalated.”

Your hand flew onto the blaster to keep it from falling to the ground as the ship broke through the atmosphere and whistled towards home.

Sighing heavily, you sat up and turned the weapon over in your hands. It was shiny, thick cylindered with thin ammo lines. You ran its corners against the creasing lines of your palm. 

“He says Hux and I sent you to kill him,” you knew who he meant. 

_Deputy Dumbass._

“ - because you’re still alive. And allowing you to live is an admission of guilt.”

“That's incredibly inaccurate,” you replied dejectedly, folding your hands over the blaster. You drummed your fingers on it, weighing what was said. 

“They have deployed their fleet behind the suns and issued an ultimatum.”

“I think you shot their ultimatum, Boss.” There was no humor in your voice to be appreciated. 

“They wanted your head.” 

The explanation was suspended in the air by your disbelief. You had not been expecting it, but weren’t surprised by it. 

“They can’t have it.” His statement was adamant and sincere, and you scoffed at the ridiculousness of it. 

You closed your eyes and plopped your still-very-attached head back onto the headrest. 

“So, now it’s war?”

Every question was followed with a marked silence before he answered cryptically.

“There won’t be a war.” you looked at him questioningly. 

“Typically, by the time someone blows up their own capital building to kill an enemy, it usually has escalated to war.” As the ship approached the docking bay, you breathed easier and your normal sarcasm came back. 

“We have him.”

_Dumbass._

“Is he dead yet?” You unbuckled and followed him off the ship, cringing when the boots rubbed at the back of your foot. Kylo saw caught the hitch in your step and slowed down to accommodate your pace. Holding his arm out to guide you, he guided you off the landing area and through the blast door. You followed dutifully and waited for his reply, but he didn’t answer. 

“Did you sic the Knights on him?” looking around, you were surprised by how calm and casual the station felt. Even with the knowledge he had just shared, you still found it strange how unalarmed everyone was. 

“They won’t shoot on us when we have him. He won’t let himself be sacrificed.” You grimaced both at the pain in your feet, and the thought of his self-importance.

“You assume they won’t decide for him,” you groaned in relief when you turned the corner of the final corridor to quarters. You nearly fell into the room and collapsed onto the couch when you crossed over the threshold, ripping off your shoes and tossing them away from you. 

Kylo plopped down next to you, sighing heavily and stretching out his long limbs in a star

You watched him for a moment before turning to the closed blinds over the windows. 

_I bet those are closed to hide their ships._

“Yes,” his voice rumbled deep in his chest, and he cleared his throat. He patted his thigh, and you crawled over on the couch to curl into his lap. You lifted his arm and tucked yourself into the space between it and his torso, legs draped over his thighs. 

“You were useless,” the sting of his words was dulled by his thumb rubbing along the outside of your arm. You burrowed deeper into his space and apologized quietly. Sneaking a glance up at him, you saw his jaw was set and grinding, and you freed a hand and touched it to the clenching muscles until they relaxed. Tucking yourself deeper into your spot, you couldn't help sighing when his thumb started again. You sat again, uncrumpling. 

“Stop holding back.” his hand on your skin stopped, and your body was jostled by the force of his words. “Don’t let it happen again.” You promised him it wouldn’t, and the gentle tracing on your arm started again. He continued for a few minutes, making your eyes droop from the crash from the adrenaline and interruption of sleep, but before you were lulled completely out, he pushed your legs off his lap and turned you to sit correctly on the couch. In full sulk mode, you wiggled your toes into the carpet and forced yourself back to attention. 

“An hour?” you asked, knowing the drill. You stood and headed to the refresher, dropping your cloak onto the floor and shrugging your dress over your head while you walked. Purposefully stopping the middle of the doorway to the bedroom you balled your hands into the small of your back, leaning backwards to pop the vertebrae. Shaking your hair out, it hung across your back and you ended your stretch and swept it over your shoulder. 

“Probably less,” was what you heard before he breezed past you, as naked as you were. Distracted, you watched his backside disappear into the refresher before you followed. This time unintentionally, you tripped over your feet in the doorway while watching his shoulder blades dance as he turned on the shower and tested the water with a broad hand and stepped in. 

_Kriff, that’s a man._

His nakedness distracted you from your own, and you leaned against the doorframe, watching him soap up and off and wash his hair. He was done and drying off in minutes, walking towards you with a towel slung low on his hips. 

“Go. We need to deal with this.” 

You groaned but listened, showering quickly and dressing in your usual preferred uniform but letting your wet hair hang on your shoulders loosely. From his spot waiting on the sofa, data pad in hand, Kylo raised an eyebrow at the change. 

“Oh, I just want him to know he wasn’t important enough to come before a shower.”

Kylo inclined his head to agree, and went back to his data pad. 

“There’s a clean cloak in the closet, and grab the box on the top shelf. The grey one.” 

You went, tugging on the cloak and fastening the buckle and straightening the shiny emblem pins. Going back to the closet, you tugged at the handle of the case hanging off the edge of the shelf. Your fingers grazed it, and you tried again, jumping and sweeping your hand out to grab at it. Cursing, you put your other arm over your head to keep the case from slamming into your skull. 

Complaining about how it had almost killed you, you lugged it over to the entryway table and undid the buckles and opened the lid carefully, leaning away from it. You shut it again quickly.

“No. No, Kylo.” you closed it and turned the case towards him. “This goes against everything this stands for.” 

His response was to open it carelessly, flinging the top back so it banged into the wooden tabletop. He spun it around so it was facing you again. 

Cradled in the cushioned box was a thin, black saber hilt with sleek silver tracks on the grip. Kylo nudged the box towards you again, and you continued rejecting it while picking up the hilt and admiring it. You brought it close to your eyes, squinting to see the engravings between the beveled grip handles. 

_Suns._

“Are you going to expand upon this?” you asked, turning it over in your hands to admire it more. 

He scoffed. “I thought you were smart enough not to need one,”

“I’m gonna need you to use your words,” you held it out at your side, feeling for the balance point, twirling your wrists. You switched hands and repeated the test. 

“You need something more substantial than yours.”

“Mine aren’t weapons. A fork is more substantial than them. They’re religious artifacts, kriff almighty” You went to place the weapon back into its case, but your reach was frozen mid-air. 

“This is a weapon. You need a weapon. Stop arguing.” He waited for you to agree before letting your arm drop. You sighed and rubbed your wrist where he’d held you. “If a defective storm trooper can pick one up and wield it, so can you.”

“What color is it?” curiosity was poking at you. Chewing on your lip, you looked at him, hovering your hand over the activator switch. 

_Guess_

“Purple?” hopeful eyebrows shot to the sky, buying into the novelty of the gift, choosing to ignore what it was. 

“No - why would it be - that wasn’t even a good guess,” he sighed, and leaned his forearms against the edge of the table, stepping back and stretching into it. 

“Yellow?” you moved your thumb away from the switch again, too cowardly to turn it on. 

“No, those - you’re not a senti - do you even know anything about them?”

“No, because I’m not a Je - “ you stopped mid-word at the warning on his face. “I’m not a Force user,” you corrected yourself quickly. “I mean, I know the basics that everyone knows, but mine weren’t lightsabers; they were just old relics from eras ago that The Order held onto out of tradition.”

“So you know that you wouldn't have either of those colors.”

“I know enough to know that I shouldn’t even have one of these. There’s a whole thing. I can’t accept this. It’s insulting for me to have one. I’m not - no. I don’t want this.” You put it back on the table delicately and folded your hands behind your back. 

Unamused, Kylo took his off his belt and unceremoniously grabbed your hand and shoved it into yours. His strong fingers held yours around the thick hilt, forcing you to hold it tightly. 

“But you can use mine?”

“Oh dear Goddess, no. Absolutely not.” his grip was angry and tight around your wrist. You struggled to pull your arm away or loosen your fingers around it, but his Force wasn’t allowing you to. He wrenched your wrist back, and you stilled instantly, no longer fighting. 

Satisfied with your submission, he let you go, leaving his lifeline weapon in your hand. He repositioned himself at your side, holding your arm up and out, facing the lightsaber away from the both of you before jamming his finger on top of yours. 

The static crackle of the blade made you want to drop it and run, and you moved backwards, butting up against Kylo’s chest. You stood there, arm held out by him, lightsaber screaming and glowing it’s rage through the room. His voice in your ear ordered you to listen to the blade. Your chest heaved and your arm started to feel heavy from the burn of holding it up. You closed your eyes, drawing in a deep, slow, calming breath, trying to follow orders. 

As you focused on the hissing, the sounds morphed into taunting whispers that urged you towards it. The sound sent electric waves through your bones; the heat of it pooled in the bottom on your stomach where it sat like a rock until it stopped suddenly. Gasping, your eyes shot open. Tilting your head back, you looked up at Kylo’s face. He plucked his saber from your hand and replaced it with the other. 

Wetting your lips, you gripped it tightly with no intention of letting it go. You cleared your throat to speak. 

“So it’s red?” His face gave you permission, and you activated the blade, smiling as it sang its power, shading Kylo’s face in red. The energy from the crystal zipped inside of you faster than his had. Stepping out of range, you focused on the weapon, running through the same exercises you had when you had refused the gift. 

“Why wouldn’t it be red?” Kylo watched with a hard face, but his voice belied amusement. 

“Because red is for the bad guys?” with your thoughts you asked for permission, and smiled broadly when he gave you a single head nod. You stifled a giggle when you lifted it to touch the ceiling and sparks and char fell down around you. You pressed the arcing weapon into the wall, listening to it whine as it disappeared and left a scar. The buzzing in your stomach increased giddily as you looked around the room for more things to test the blade on.

“What side do you think you're on?”

The question stopped you mid-stride, and you powered down the lightsaber immediately. 

“I didn't want to be on anyone’s side,” you admitted, feeling sick and embarrassed at your enjoyment. You returned to Kylo at the table and went to hand the hilt to him. He took it from you only to attach it and its holder to your hip.

“Stuck with us now, Treasure,” dry and droll Supreme Leader must have been satisfied, because he turned on his heel and left you swallowing hard, trailing behind dutifully, saber slapping against your thigh as you walked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Treasures, 
> 
> My entire life has been destroyed by daylight savings, and it ruined my posting schedule.


	21. Well, That Happened.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which silence is golden

You walked beside Kylo as you headed to the bridge and felt him shift from himself to Supreme Leader. Looking at him in profile out of the corner of your eye, he was massive, and in spite of the way his hair bounced carelessly with his steps, he was intimidating. His jaw was set and firm, and his lips were thin and guarded, pressed tightly together and turned down at the edges. His eyes were tired and shadowed by his drawn brow. You watched his muscles in his face tense and release as he swallowed. Mimicking him, you licked your lips nervously, hyper aware of the fact that you now had two weapons hanging off of you, just waiting to be used. You moved your hand to the most offensive of the two, holding the hilt so it stopped jostling against your leg.

Keeping your hand pressed to it, you faced forward again. Pin pricks of pain shot through the base of your jaw, flooding your mouth with metallic spit every second you held onto it. You swallowed, trying to overcome its power and push the feeling away. Your fingers pressed against the metal to keep it still, your movement hidden underneath the cover of your cloak. The slapping the lightsaber had been doing against your thigh felt like a spike being hammered upwards into the base of your skull. From beside you, Kylo stopped abruptly as you approached the entrance to the bridge, and you stumbled forward a step before catching yourself to wait for him. 

You turned towards him and watched officers and stormtroopers yielded and walked around you, giving you a wide berth. You caught the eye of a young officer who instantly pinked in embarrassment and hid her face to the floor, her red cheeks flaming against the grey uniform as her shoulder dragged against the wall while she sped away. You watched her back leave and measured her progress by the invisible scar she left as she ran away hugging the wall. 

Kylo brought your attention back to him by grabbing at you. Your body turned towards him first, but your eyes and focus lagged behind on the seam of the grey panels that made up the hallway before snapping to him abruptly. You looked down to the gloved hand on your upper arm and waited for it to remove itself. His grip was tight and warm, and you felt the taste in your jaw surge through the rest of your body, centering under his touch as you both stood in the center of the corridor.

He demanded eye contact, and you stared back at his dark brown pupils floating in the center of his eye, intense with vacant purpose. Dark and liquid, you swallowed again, tasting the memory of his coffee - black, one sugar - watching the shimmer of the lights above throwing highlights across the wet surface. Your tongue felt wet in your own mouth while you stared at his. Your gaze skirted over the bridge of his nose, looking for engaged eye contact to release the ball of bees in your throat.

_ They were back.  _

The Supreme Leader stepped closer so he stood at your boot tips. Reflexively, you looked down at them and watched them disappear under the waves of your dress as they crashed into his legs. As you dropped your chin and looked down, his hand loosened and slid up to cup your shoulder. It felt like its weight was melting you into the floor, but you stayed upright and tried to stand still. You watched his pant legs press into the ebb and flow of your skirt as you moved until your eyes were rocked closed. His heavy, heated hand lifted and skimmed the slope of your shoulder, sliding back to palm your neck. 

You inhaled sharply through your nose, but didn’t try to twist away when he dug his fingertips into the pressure points on either side of your spine at the base of your neck. The popping sound of the leather moving groaned into your ears while he dug them further into your tense muscles. You refused to make a sound. His fingers held you hard in position and your body seized with the deferred pain that shot down the sides of your ribcage, through your hip sockets and stabbed at the back of your raw heels. 

Holding you there, he brought his head down to your ear. You leaned into his body, wantonly elongating your neck to accommodate him. He smelled like his usual scent of anger and violence. Up close you could see the stubble reaching through his skin.

“Remember whose side you’re on, Treasure,” he moved his lips close to the shell of your ear, and you tried to twist into the buzzing contact. Your body floating and feeling like an exposed wire electrified, you tried nodding in agreement, entranced, but only managed to put his hair in your face. His hand squeezed you again, new waves of attentive pain bringing you back to his message. Mouth dry, you agreed just to get the ribbons of his hair out of your face and put some space between you.. 

“When it’s time,” he loosened his grip as he continued, sliding his hand off your neck, and trailing his fingers down your spine. “Let go. Trust your feelings.” 

On a whisper, you repeated him as his hand kept snaking down your back and around to your side, resting on his gift, forcing you to be hyper aware of its impact. He moved his hand with enough pressure that you swayed into him again, resting on his body a second before you threw your weight into your heels so you could rock away and stand on your own.

_ Good girl,  _ he grumbled into your head as he stepped away, dropping his touch, pulling his face back last.

Feeling every breath you took vibrate and pool in your stomach, you swallowed more metallic spit and forced your consciousness back to what was in front of you, but your body still tingled like it had stepped into the warm sun on a cold day. Trailing behind, you took long steps to follow, walking through the empty space that fell open behind The Supreme Leader. 

The hairs on your neck stood at attention as you followed his broad back through a group of consoles then past the room with the changing windows where you’d pseudo-seen Hux’s body slide to the floor and break apart into pieces of regret and warning. You walked past the grey windows with your head high, staring a hole into the spot on Kylo’s shoulders where the neck met the spine and carried his arrogant head. Ahead of you, a room with a double doorway where Dead-O and Bombs stood blankly at attention. 

_ They always manage to look bored out of their minds without looking like they’re complaining.  _

You nodded at them as they opened the door for their master, and you followed him in. A long, metal, grey table spanned the length of the room, chairs pushed neatly in against it. In the center sat a hologram pad, speakers built into the table at either end. All the chairs were the same, standard issue, chosen for efficiency and not comfort - except the two at the end, one with a taller, broader back than the other. 

_ Hux and Him.  _

Three bright grey walls boxed the table in, what looked like a mini command center was pressed into the wall nearest the door. You realized two Knights were stationed inside with you both, a set on either side of the door. Unlike everyone else who had looked away, you felt a contemptuous glare in your back and pushed your hair over your shoulder to cover it. At the far end of the room, Kylo stood in the corner, shooting his own icy look at the offender. You felt the daggers in your back fall, and you gave a tight lipped smile to him as you went to his side. 

The two of you stood in front of the long, wide window wall, quiet aloud, but you knew he was reading your thoughts as they randomly pinged around through thousands of possibilities. 

Sighing heavily, you crossed your arms across your chest, hip cocked in haughty frustration. The cotton candy colors of sunrise were rolling in across the planet’s surface in their bouquet of soft colors blossoming through the topography. The vapor clouds were stained with the watercolor sunrise, but you couldn’t see much of them through the three warships stationed in front of the planet. Each ship sat in front of a sun, the backlight shining through them like the power of the divine. The metal gods faced off off against you, challenging their threat. 

“Certainly an image.”

Kylo grunted and inclined his head to agree. His fists were on his hips, but there the aggression expected was absent. 

“Doesn’t matter. It won’t help them,” he was matter-of-fact in his observation as he studied the ships out the window, looked side eyed at you, then back to the beasts. Hair fell in his face, blacking out your view of his eyes. As you considered moving it out of the way, he shook his head back in an effort to do the same. It didn’t work; the lock fell right back into the same place. 

“What are you going to do?” turning towards him, you propped yourself against the glass with one shoulder. The urge got the best of you, and your other hand lifted between you two and grazed over his eyebrow as you moved the hair out of his face so you could look at him. The look he shot you at the contact had you swallowing hard and pulling your hands deep under the heavy cloak.

He raised a brow and moved into your space, body facing yours. Rolling from your shoulder onto your back against the window, you were backed against it as he stepped in between your legs, holding you hostage in your spot. His leg was lost between your skirts, your black fabrics swimming together in a darkened pool while the other long line of muscle brushed against the outside of your thigh. One of his hands went beside your head, leather sounding quietly against the smooth, cool glass. His other went to your jaw, roughly. His fingers clenched into the sockets of your jaw where they’d found their home before. You dropped your mouth open as the tips of his fingers dug into the joints, submitting to the small, violent act. With his grip secure, he turned your head to the side and promised his answer into your ear.

“Now we win.” 

_ Now we win.  _

You repeated him in your head over and over until you’d done so with enough conviction to satisfy him. Humored, he let go of you and rubbed the back of his knuckles against the jaw he’d just held captive. Your mouth went dry as you watched him watching his hand on you. The dissociated focus was back in his eyes as his hand dipped lower, dropping past your shoulders to your neck. He dragged his fingers down to the neckline of your dress, seams of the gloves plucking at the edge before bringing his flattened palm against the side of your neck, letting his fingers drape across your neck like fine jewelry. You felt the warmth and intent of it; his hand bobbed on your throat as you swallowed. The far tips of his fingers rounding along the curve of your throat as you did, collaring you. 

_ That hair never stays out of his face.  _

You admired the edge of his cheek where the hair rested out of place. You looked up and his eye, but quickly looked away and shrank into yourself. There was no affection in him; his face was hard, and there was no familiarity in the colors of his eyes. He was just a man holding you against the wall, choking you.

In your chest, your heart slammed into your ribcage, and you lacked the ability to expand it fully for breath. He pressed his fingers into your neck harder, and you felt your pulse throbbing under the pads of his fingers. Kylo looked away from his hand where he was counting your heartbeats and held your eyes blankly. The ball of bees moved from your throat to your chest to your stomach where it sat, frantically buzzing inside of you until you felt electrified. On one side of your body, Kylo’s leg was setting off tiny explosions of attraction; on your other hip, his gift felt warm and chaotic anticipation of what came next.

“End this ridiculous game you started.”

When his words registered, you shoved him away. Planting your hands on his shoulders, you pushed at him again and again until he moved back and out of your space. 

“You are an asshole,” you spat at him, sliding away and nervously pulling your hair over your shoulders and positioning it around your neck, as if it would do anything to keep him from looking at the ring he’d left there. You paced the room, angry and antsy and staying as far away from him as you could. Kylo looked content with standing in front of the window, looking out at the three threats and their suns and ignoring you while you waited for your special guest. 

_ You should be nicer to me, you know.  _

You heard his scoff from across the room and sulked over to him to make your point. Again, you positioned yourself back against the window, sliding directly in front of him and crossing your arms over your chest defensively. 

He took a step back, putting space between you. You worried your lip between your teeth, and kicked at the floor with the toe of your boot. He sighed at your inability to vocalize what was on your mind. He came back to you, erasing the space he’d just demanded, pulling off his glove as he went. His uncovered hand lifted your chin up; his thumb tugged your lip free.

“Stop being scared. You know the power you hold over people.” His voice was low as he rubbed the pad of his thumb over the swollen skin. His tone and skin were warm and soft, and you broke under them. You closed your eyes tightly against the urge to drop your head against his chest and lean into him until the pace of your breath met his and you finally felt calm. 

_ I like when you touch me.  _

He removed his hand quickly as if you’d tried to bite him. Rejected, you watched him shove his glove back on, barest sneer discernible only because you knew him and his mouth. 

“I thought you didn’t trust me,” he moved you out of the way with his big hands on your shoulders, sliding you to the side so you no longer were in front of him, blocking his view of the dormant battlefield.

Sighing, you weaseled your way back to his side, cautiously feeling for his hand, brushing yours against his through the shield of your cloak. His fingers twitched against yours tentatively, still separated from yours. The barrier made the contact acceptable. 

“As terrifying as it is, you might be the only one I do trust,” you admitted. Your voice was flat and plain. He laughed at your reluctance, and you jerked your hand away, shoving both of them in your pockets so you weren’t tempted to repeat the mistake of touching him again when all you wanted was his contact. Instead, your fist closed around the cold metal dice. You could hear the muffled click of your nail picking at the tiny engravings through the layers of fabric and space that separated your ears and fingers.

“You really are a treasure,” he teased you dryly.

“You’re an ass. I told you I was scared, and you laughed at me.” 

“I laugh because you have actively rebelled against acknowledging your own power, and once you accept it -” he paused to look at you out the corner of his eye. “-you will win. But you refuse the Force out of misguided loyalty to a cause that sold you as a sex slave to a man who wanted to re-ignite an intergalactic war.” Emotion edged into his statement. You turned your head to watch him speak openly, but he kept looking forward at the big metal birds hovering in space. “You prefer to marinate in your own victimhood and have anointed yourself a martyr when you have the power to destroy them all.” At that, he finally turned to you and flung your cloak open over shoulder. He held his hand out to your lightsaber. “You have my trust, but you don’t have my respect.” 

The insult reeled you back like a slap. He gave you his back and dismissed you without another word. You settled your cloak back over your shoulders and sunk into it and slithered away to the other side of the room, settling against the wall of the comm station at the front of the room. You crossed your arms on the top of the small barrier, and peered over at the mass of buttons and screens, none lit or showing signs they were activated. The important thing was that you were giving him your back, and you didn’t have to look at him while you waited to confront the idiot in control of the warbirds outside your window. 

  
  


It was quiet as you waited, but you heard him before you saw him. Very loud and very colorful, descriptive screams rippled into the room from the other side of the closed door, echoing through the arched dome of the bridge and shooting down the corridor like an explosion of fire. You caught Kylo’s gaze nervously. He raised an eyebrow, challenging you to prove yourself. As the voice drew closer and words and scream of angst became clearer, you moved away from the console and back toward the other end of the room and, begrudgingly, towards the Supreme Leader and his protection. By the time Deputy Dumbass was shoved through the door by a pair of Knights, you’d wedged yourself between Kylo and the window. With a well placed palm in the small of your back, he forced you boldly in front of him. 

_ Now we win.  _

His hand burned into your skin, and you drew on the permanence of it. Lifting your chin defiantly, you leaned back against his hand. Kylo held you steady; the warmth from his touch blooming through your body, wrapping around you and holding you, hiding you like your cloak. 

_ Trust. _

He drew his hand away as the Deputy Ambassador drew closer. Without his touch, you internalized his shielding force, balling it into a compact little sphere to hold like fire in your bottom of your belly. 

“Oh look, the whore and her toy. Or would it be the toy and his whore?” Dumbass was dragged to a chair at the center of the table and forced down into it. He didn’t bother resisting in his hopeless situation so he laughed at his own joke as the chair groaned and jostled as he plopped into it. He looked better and more unharmed than he had any right to be. His hands were shackled in binders, but they didn’t seem to bother him. In fact, he seemed to forget he was bound as he tried to move his hands independently to rearrange his clothes. 

You looked over your shoulder at Kylo for an explanation. He shrugged nonchalantly and turned back to the window, handing the situation over to you. 

You cleared your throat and walked in front of the Deputy Ambassador, table separating you. You took the seat in front of him, taking your time to sit demurely, fix your skirts and fold your hands delicately over each other on your lap. His eyebrow was split, crusted with dried blood as was his lip. You assumed the worst was hidden under his clothes, and were rewarded with confirmation as he hid a grimace of pain when he moved.

“Deputy Ambassador,” you bought yourself time to gather your wits and plans, sitting and greeting him. Now faced with him, you cleared your throat. “You look better than I thought you would.” You forced a flat lipped smile out, your insincerity screamed loudly from your raised eyebrow. 

Across from you, he scoffed. The eye under the split was a little dark, but even with those and the few superficial scratches and a split lip, he looked far better off than Hux had been when he’d been presented before Kylo Ren to receive the consequences of his actions. 

“I mean, you look a little worse for wear, but I’m sure we just need to see the other guy, right?” You raised the sides of your mouth into a mocking smile before looking over your shoulder at your Supreme Leader and making a point to look him up and down, taking inventory. He didn’t acknowledge you, but he knew you didn’t need him to. Furrowing your brow and pouting your mouth, you turned back to Dumbass. 

“I guess I misspoke.” You held your hands out in front of you and flipped them over a few times, showing you were unharmed. “We are fine.”

He started sputtering, too angry to speak. You didn’t try to hide your self satisfied smile as he tried to stand up and protest.

_ He really is a predictable dumbass. _

“Oh relax,” you waved off Brownie who stepped up behind Dumbass and put a hard hand on his shoulder, forcing him to sit still in his chair and stop getting so excited. Still, you shot a glance to his bound hands to remind him - and you - that he was in binders. As soon as the Knight moved away, Dumbass hauled back and spit at his feet. Without a second thought, the Knight swung his arm, backhanding him so hard that he spun in his chair. You hated yourself for flinching, but no one seemed to be focusing on you enough to care. 

_ Trust. _

No one except the man with eyes in the back of his head. 

_ Windows reflect, Treasure.  _

You forced him out of your head and refocused your attention back onto the prisoner. 

Oblivious to the exchange, your guest cursed and raised his knuckles to his mouth to check for blood. His re-opened lip transferred blood to the back of his hand. You watched, disgusted, as he touched his fingers to the split, pulled back to inspect the blood and sucked them into his mouth to clear it off. You frowned with involuntary revulsion as he aimed his gaze at you and slowly licked the blood off his knuckles. Spit pooled under your tongue.

“You okay, Treasure?” he mocked, rubbing his tongue over his split lip, spreading the red tint of blood across his swelling mouth. 

You shook your head and cleared your throat, but the sneer remained. 

“You are absolutely disgusting.”

He shrugged and slumped back in his seat, clearly done with you. 

“Hey, Supreme Leader, I think she has a weak stomach. Too bad. Better luck next time. Maybe you can trade her in.” 

_ Kriff, if this man would do us the favor of dropping dead. _

_ You have two options, Treasure.  _

You resisted the urge to snap your head back to glare at him and stayed focused on the idiot in front of you. Under your cloak, your two weapons dug into your skin. You looked down at your hip, certain you would see the hilt glowing; it burned against you.

“Are you finished?” you snapped at him, bringing your attention back to him and ignoring the heat of your hyperawareness of the saber and how easy it would be. 

“Are you? Are you going to leave and let the men talk? You’re annoying me and wasting my time.” you stifled your laughter at the audacity of his dismissal. His sense of self-importance was delusional.

_ Disrespectful twat. _

“You’re here because you want me dead. I think the conversation is between you and I.” Your voice was patronizing and sweet and you folded your hands in front of you on the table, pointing your steepled fingers towards him. 

The Deputy Ambassador sighed again like an angsty teen and sat back in his chair and dropped his metal bound wrists dramatically on the table. You managed to school your features and keep your face unbothered through the noisy protest. 

_ Patience is a virtue, _ you reminded yourself. 

“To be fair, Treasure, I want him dead, too.” Dumbass motioned towards Kylo’s form in the corner.

The sound of your nickname in his mouth heated you, and you felt Kylo’s upset at its use shoot across the room and slam into you. Your immediate reaction was to reach across, grab him by the hair and slam his face into the table, but you kept your hands tented in front of you, replaying the sound his skull would make as you crushed into the tabletop. Inside your head, a reminder to “let go and trust your feelings” was shoved in between your ears and settled behind your eyes. Instead of listening to it, you pushed it right out the other ear, grinding your jaw. The rage, however, stayed lodged between your shoulder blades

“So to answer your question: no, you cannot have me. I am not turning myself over, and he certainly isn’t going to give me to you. And you will get my name out of your mouth and forget the sound of it.” you ignored his eye roll and dismissal. 

Dumbass waived his hand in the air in your direction, signaling he was done with you. He tried to cross his legs and tilt his body away from you, and you rejoiced as the pain flashed across his face and he lowered his foot back down to the floor. 

_ Little wins. _

No longer willing to speak with you, Dumbass barked at Kylo from his chair. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Kylo standing in the corner, facing the window and watching the sunrises behind the ships. Unbothered, he turned slowly and approached the table. You stayed quiet and Dumbass actually managed to shut his mouth and as the Supreme Leader came and sat beside you, lounging back in the chair, dwarfing it with his size. He slid the chair back on his heels and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankle, mocking the movement Dumbass had failed to accomplish. 

“So she speaks for you?” your unwelcome guest was incredulous and looked shocked when Kylo confirmed your role with a careless shrug. 

_ God, I want to squash this idiot like a bug.  _

In your head you imagined stomping him under the heel of your boot and grinding his tiny, dead body into the carpet underneath your feet. You felt a chorus of voices in your head surge forward, echoing affirmations and urging you to do what you imagined. You pushed them back, and focused on the job at hand - the idiot at hand. 

_ You know how to shut him up. _

“Deputy Ambassador,” you started, ever respectful though he was deserving of none, “If you wanted to kill me, why didn’t you do it when I was there? Why this completely unnecessary elaborate scheme? Isn’t that what got us here in the first place?” 

Really, though, his answer didn’t matter. Even with three ships threatening you, the ship you sat on could demolish the entire planetary system in minutes. What did matter, though, was how incredibly rude he was being. He laughed at you as he answered, and you imagined slamming his face into the table again and delighted in it.

“That would have been stupid.”

“Why?” you hung your head primly and pulled your hands onto your lap, hiding them under the table. “Indulge me.” He rolled his eyes at you. “Pretend I’m stupid,” you dropped your voice into a haughty pout and spit the words out of the corner of your mouth like it was a naughty, whispered confession. 

_ Wait for it, Treasure. _

You unballed your hands, rubbing your palms on thighs, drying off the damp skin while Kylo’s words buzzed around your head like a fly trapped in the hot kitchen on a muggy summer afternoon. In your chest, the buzzing ball of bees harmonized with the fly’s words.

“You don’t shit where you eat,” he delivered his response as if he thought you were truly stupid. He looked like there was nothing more that he wanted to do than stretch out lazily in his chair to show his full dismissal and disrespect.

The insult went wide; neither you nor Kylo were bothered by it, but you held your hand up to silence him before his bored sarcasm flew out of his mouth as it tended to. 

“So instead you come into his house and shit?” You lowered your hand away from Kylo, waiting for Dumbass to answer. Instead of using his words, he raised an eyebrow and went to cross his hands over his chest, but the binders made it impossible so he put them back on the table. 

_ Cue another petty sigh from Deputy Dumbass. _

“And you think The Supreme Leader is …..” you paused for good measure, feigning cluelessness, “stupid enough to be drawn into a skirmish with you. Because that’s what it would be. A skirmish. Not a battle. Not a war. A skirmish. Target practice,” the you spoke, the less he paid attention, sighing and rolling his eyes. 

“Why is she even here?” he pleaded towards Kylo.

Again, you raised your hand to stop him from answering. 

“He’s tired of wasting words on you, and I’m getting there, too.” 

_ Kriff, was he this bad when you saw him earlier? How did you not slice his head off? _

There was no response from the Supreme Leader, spoken or shared into your thoughts, but you felt the hairs on the back of your neck tingle. You closed your eyes and breathed deeply, trying to block out the squawking of the idiot in front of you, but his squeaky little weasel voice was sharp and shrill with indignance. It bit through the cloud of low, arcing humming that droned inside you, kicking at the intensity inside you.

“Are you going to let her act like this? This is incredibly disrespectful. You should take her back to quarters and teach her a lesson. We would never -” Dumbasses started spouting off, trying to turn his body farther away from you to face The Supreme Leader as an equal and signifying he had written you off entirely. 

As you looked at his side profile and the twisted way he sat in his seat, you rejoiced in the pain he was putting himself through just to make sure that you knew that he was doing so just to make a show out of ignoring you.

_ That’s exactly what he’s doing.  _

Kylo threw his agreement into you, emphatic and instigatory. Your rage pulsed with his conviction as he burrowed into your head. Your chest started moving faster as you tried to control your breathing and failed, too angry to focus on being calm. Across from you, Dumbass shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position that maybe twisted him into less of a pretzel inside of his binders. 

_ Let go. _

“For the love of the Order, can you shut the hell up?” you lost your temper and snapped at him, throwing your hands in the air in frustration and letting them fall onto the table in full dramatics.

“Shall we just cut to the chase? Is everyone okay with that?” Eyes wide you looked at Kylo then Dumbass then back and forth between them again. Kylo nodded at you to continue and got up and went back to his corner where the wall met the window pane. Dumbass just sighed again and again. Lord knows he’d be remiss to miss a chance to breathe heavily and hem and haw until someone gave him enough attention. 

Meanwhile, the shorter your patience grew, the tighter the fist of rage in your stomach squeezed, feeling like a finger plucking at the triggered urge to do whatever was needed to bring silence back into the room and decimate the unworthy idiot before you. 

_ So much wasted time. You should have fucking killed him last night. _

You misdirected your rage backwards towards Kylo who threw it back at you. It joined the static rage in your torso and bled it into your arms and legs. Your fingers twitched. The saber on your hip hissed into your head, begging to be sparked.

“You have two options. Either withdraw your ships and adhere to the agreement presented at SummittFall that your predecessor agreed and prosper under the First Order or make a very bad, very big, very lasting decision for your entire planet. Which one?” 

By this point, your voice had risen and stood in front of your chair. You sped through the words, knowing full well that he had already - and would continue to - reject anything that came out of your mouth.

“Who are you to even make an offer.” he asked you then turned to Kylo and asked again. 

Kylo had the decency to look bored and ignored Dumbass like he had ignored you. 

_ My patience is wearing thin, Treasure.  _

“Yeah, mine, too.” you huffed and squeezed the bridge of your nose, pinching it to stop the irritation, not realizing you’d spoken aloud. Dumbass looked between the two of you, confused, realizing much too late that you were communicating using the Force.

“So, you’re just going to let her give ultimatums?” he shouted across the room at the man he thought was in charge, refusing to speak to you.

“Oh, I haven’t given you an ultimatum yet. You keep interrupting me,” fed up with his disrespect, you leaned forward onto the table, glaring down at him, willing him to close the hole in his face before you did it for him. You bit into your bottom lip to keep from giving him the ass whooping he deserved. 

“Well, are you going to get on with it” eyeroll and you felt the  _ tick _ of the spark that exploded inside you. He wasn’t even looking at you. He thought so little of you, he was confident and haughty in ignoring you. 

“If you ever stop talking and listen!” buzzing with anger, you slammed your palms down onto the table in front of you. 

All up and down the table, every chair save the one Deputy Ambassador sat in flew backwards out of its spot. The room exploded with the sound of chairs crashing against walls and into each other and falling over. 

“Are you going to shut the fuck up and listen or do you prefer to keep swinging your dick around like it’s going to make this less of an awkward conversation? ” You snapped. His dismissal was immediate. You seethed, leaning over the table, hair falling into your face. You knew you looked deranged. You could see it in his eyes before they shot to the blaster on hip and the lightsaber on the other. 

Panic flashed through his eyes for a split second as he entertained the idea of your worth now that you’d been outfitted with weapons. You pushed into his fear and doubt while it lasted, which wasn’t long. 

_ Push him. _

“We can blow you up. We can destroy everything you see out that fucking window in seconds, “ you threw your hand in the air, pointing out the window at his feeble attempt at war. “..and you’re too busy throwing shit around because you don’t like me to actually support and protect your people? You are a useless, moronic, incompetent fool. If he killed you, he’d be doing them a favor,” you continued shouting at the Deputy Ambassador, getting louder and louder and he screamed back at you. 

Around the room, the Knights and their Master watched from their self-appointed stations, immediate areas around them clear from where they’d deflected the chairs away from themselves. They meant nothing to you as you squared off with Deputy Dumbass.

“-and then you fucked yourself into  _ his _ good graces.” he raised his voice over yours in an attempt to gain the upperhand in your shouting match.

“What is wrong with you? Do you really think insulting me is going to do anything other than make me angry?”

_ The dumbest fucking man who has ever existed. Holy Kriff.  _

Dumbass had stood up and you were both yelling at each other, hands flying. Well, his were trying to fly but not getting very far because of the binders. Yours were flitting through the air, pointing and gesticulating, making your point instead of wrapping around his neck and strangling him. 

_ Enough. _

“Stupid whore” rangs out, ripping your words from you. They fell out the sides of your mouth, unmuttered; the sound of them hitting the floor drowned out by the angry echo of the insult. You stared at him for a moment, tunnel visioned, seething and heated, breath ribboning out of your chest in steaming little hisses of rage. You curled your hands against your chest, incredulous as if he’d slapped you and spit in your face.

_ Now. _

You were pushed forward, and moved deliberately - slowly and organically - as if everything around you was a scene in a play where everyone and everything was frozen in place except for you. White noise poured molten metal into your ear, voices in your head screaming. It was a slow blink of acknowledgement as your vision fish-bowled, pupils blowing as you hopped on the edge of the table. Throwing your leg up and rolling up onto your knees, your cloak thrown open widely in combination of maneuver and attitude. Reaching towards the ear piercing keening screaming against your hip, searing through your skirts, burning its weight into your thigh, the delicately carved hilt flew into your hand by command. Clamoring over the table, the crackle of the lightsaber igniting was followed by a loud metallic clang then a softer, dull thud. 

From your perch on the table standing above him, the metal binders and the remainder of the attached appendages landed strewn about on the table top, while the bottom half of Dumbass slumped in his seat, the top transected by a sizzling, stinking, slashed scar across this chest and shoulders - head plopped onto the floor, no longer balanced on the stump of his body. You kicked at the metal of the binders. The disembodied arms edged off the side of the table and fell to the ground with a meaty thud on top of the other parts of him.

You blinked slowly, grip of the lightsaber biting into your palm. Still lit, you held it up and turned it over in your hand and gave it a few rolls and twirls before powering it down and tossing it on top of the wreckage of the Deputy Ambassador. Clucking your tongue, you wiped your hand on your thighs under the cloak, and stepped off the table. You landed with your knees bent, and you hovered for a moment in your squat, shifting your attention to Kylo in his corner. Making eye contact with him, you straightened and waited for him to come to you as you said his name inside your head. 

He didn’t. Instead he ordered you to him, and you obeyed, taking your spot between him and the window, jutting your hips forward and leaning back onto the glass. You wanted to reach out and pull him to you. You saw it in your head, and knew he did too. His pupils widened, watching your imagination pull him closer by his belt, drag him to your mouth, and grind your hips against his while sucking his tongue into your mouth and twisting your arms around his head. 

While he watched you, he lifted his hand, holding it out until your saber flew into it. Kylo leaned in over you, demanding your head tilt back to give him room. You lolled it back onto your shoulders, expecting the dank heat of his tongue on your skin. Your chest sagged when you felt the chilled tang of the hilt scrape down the straight line of your throat to the swell of your chest, You inhaled sharply as the back of his hand brushed against the underside of your breast before running down your rib cage and to your hip hidden in your cloak and holstered your weapon for you. 

Withdrawing his hand, he reached for your neck, cupping it and moving your head so his breath steamed on the spiraled shell of your ear as he spoke. 

“You still need to deal with those.”

You barely registered what he meant, and it took you a moment to suss it out because all you could focus on was his hand on your neck. Your body tried to lean into him, but his hand kept the distance between you. In your head you threw images of him fucking you against the wall, dress hiked up with legs hitched around him. You imagined his mouth on yours and nipping at his bottom lip while he pistoned into you, skirt falling behind you like a waterfall, waving with the motion. You pictured him on his knees, your foot on his shoulder, his hand still at your neck to hold you against the window as he lapped at your slit and sucked your clit. 

You groaned, reaching for him. Your hands grabbed at the top of his belt and pulled him towards you again. The corner of his mouth twitched up for a second, and he let you tug him to you. His body settled against yours, and his hand moved from your neck to the back of your head. Your eyes dropped closed as his hands burrowed into your hair, scratching at your scalp, but flew back open when he grabbed a handle of it and roughly pulled your head back. Gasping, your mouth agape as he used it as a handle to spin you and press your front into the glass. 

“Do you see them?” he’d let go of your hair and leaned his body weight onto yours, pinning you against the window, hands on either side of your head. 

You looked at the three ships facing you. They were closer than you thought they should be, but you weren’t sure if they’d moved or if the changing of the suns positions that had changed your perspective. Regardless, you nodded in answer to him.

He growled an affirmation in your ear, curling his body around yours, rolling his hips against yours. You felt him thickening as he moved, getting hard as he humped against you. Your hips pressed back into him; your nipples hardening with him. 

“They’re still waiting,” he moved his lips to your ear again and you shuddered involuntarily.

“They know they can’t win. Just let them surrender,” your mouth got stuck on the words, and your tongue was dry in your mouth when he sucked your earlobe between his teeth. 

”There is no surrender where there is hope. It must be destroyed,” he nipped at your neck and stepped back, pushing off the window and leaving your back cold with his absence. 

_ It? Hope.  _

You answered your own question.

Slowly, you turned, slumping against the wall, and crossed your arms across your chest, staring him down. He stared right back, tall and solid and stoic. You stared at each other, testing his boundaries with your eyes. He didn’t give. 

Suddenly, you stood up straight and turned on your heel and marched out of the room, not waiting to see if he followed. You knew he would. 

“Who has the button to blow those up?” you shouted as you stormed through the corridor to the bridge, your voice and footfalls echoing through the chamber. All around you, everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at you, but no one answered you so you asked again, this time louder and more forcefully, stopping in the middle of the room. You felt your hair and skirts and cloak slam into you as you halted suddenly.

You turned to your left, a young alien with blue skin cleared their throat and tentatively raised a hand. They sat in front of a wall of blinking buttons and switches, a pair of monitors embedded into the console. It looked important, and he looked terrified and confused.

They opened their mouth to answer, eyes unsure and questioning were directed over your shoulder. You put your hands on your hips impatiently, waiting for him to join you. You felt every single step he’d taken like stabbing exclamation marks in your head. His presence confirmed, you spoke to the officer again.

“Weapons?” you asked again, dropping your voice to a low threat, impatient and irritated another person looked to Kylo to appraise your worth.

The blue-skinned officer nodded again, swallowing nervously and looking to The Supreme Leader for instruction. 

“Hey,” you napped your fingers in front of their face and demanded their attention. “Which button blows them up?” They gave you their attention, but looked at Kylo to defer to him. You snapped again. It echoed through the room like your voice had. 

“Which button blows up those ships?” you repeated yourself a third time, enunciating each word brutally. 

From behind you, Kylo put his hand on your shoulder, squeezing to cause pain as he moved you out of his path. You and the officer skidded to the side as Kylo stood in front of the console. The officers on either side of him, sat like stones, trying to make it look like they weren’t staring, watching him as he worked. You looked around. In fact, the whole bridge was watching - the higher ranking officers did so openly, used to his unpredictability. Everyone else was more covert. 

“There,” he stepped back from the station, reaching for your arm and moving you to where he had been. “They know we are going to fire. Do it.” he spoke quietly, but firmly into your ear, pointing at the button he wanted you to push. Without questioning his instruction, you slammed your hand down more aggressively than the situation called for before snatching it back and covering your open mouth. Not believing you’d done it, you were stunned into compliance; Kylo gripped the back of your neck and used it like a handle to steer you away from the console and stare out the panoramic stage at the front of the bridge. 

At the first fire of the cannon, the laughter bubbled up. By the time the third shot sounded, they were sneaking out from behind your hands. The hand on your neck tightened, and you tried to stifle your giggles. 

“I’m sorry,” your voice cracked as you held the laughter back. “I blew those up.” You laughed again and slapped your hands over your mouth. You watched the orange-red explosions travel down the bodies of the ships and explode out their sides, and for a moment, you lost sight of the three suns in the wreckage of the destruction. You almost had yourself under control and calm when an officer hurried over, looking unapologetic. 

“Their fleet is rising.”

You looked at him then back out the window.

_ Sure enough. _

It looked as if the entire topography of the planet was shifted up as a multitude of ships rose in tandem, breaking through the atmosphere into the pieces of their comrades scattered around in space. 

“Kill them all.” 

Your voice surprised you and everyone else. Eyes turned to look at you then bounce between the Supreme Leader and you. No one was quite sure of your value, and too afraid to miscalculate it. A pit of swirling, angry anxiety ballooned around your heart, hanging off it on it as you gave the order. It swayed there like a pendulum as you all waited for his response. You smiled again as the tickle of laughter licked at your stomach; the ball of bees weren’t worried about his reaction. You had him. He was yours.

The hand on your neck loosened, and Kylo leaned into your ear. 

Understanding, you nodded and excused yourself and headed to the last place you’d seen Hux alive. It took all you had not to skip and click your heels together as you left, people swarming the Supreme Leader as he led them into your war.


	22. Wait for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you waited.

You stopped at the threshold of his office, foot hovering and refusing to come down on the other side. Peering over your shoulder to see if anyone had noticed, you were relieved to see Kylo hunched over a hologram table conferring with his staff. They were working together, giving orders and sending people scattering with purpose, and watching them manage the shift from peaceful mission to war prep was helping you forget that The Spot was only a few steps away. But you couldn’t forget, so you glanced at it quickly. Looking at it, it was like a spotlight was beaming down directly onto the area and beckoning you to behold, the location of the demise of Armitage Hux. Shaking the image away, you stalled, leaning against the door frame and crossing your arms and went back to watching The Supreme Leader and his Generals. Watching him, you could see the switch click back and forth between versions of him. 

_ So controlled.  _

He must have sensed you there because his gloved hand came up, fingers extended so the flat of his palm facing you. He waved you away with a flick of the wrist, not even bothering to look up, and you went flying off balance, tumbling into the room as if he’d physically shoved you forward. Behind you, the door closed, and you were forced to obey the order that he had given for you to wait for him. You caught yourself before you went ass over tea kettle, tripping over your feet just enough to propel you inside.

Looking around, you took inventory of the room, noting everything except The Spot. 

_ Grey walls, grey desk, chairs, floor - it’s all so bleh.  _

You had looked everywhere you could to distance yourself from it, but your options were up. Pushing the uneasiness away, you swallowed and looked behind you quickly to see if he was somehow watching you. You had no doubt he was - somehow - but weren’t sure how, but you had no doubt that The Supreme Leader knew everything that happened on his ship. You refused to entertain the idea that he had a secret entryway into your mind and chose to stay on the other side. 

In the office, the window-walls were dark and frosted over. You could mostly make out individual silhouettes, but you found him easily. Knowing he was right there holding you accountable was enough to set your determination and give you the power to make your brain talk to your feet and convince them to carry you through the room. Whereas your brain screamed for you to take the wide way around the memories of a dead body, the Force shove had knocked the cowardice out of you, and you moved boldly through your fear. Passing through the vivid images in your head, your nose pricked and twisted at the whiff of charred flesh that flashed back from minutes before when you murdered the Deputy Ambassador. 

You drug your fingers across the cold, metal desktop, rapping the edge of it twice for luck before rounding it and standing in front of the panoramic window. The knocking echoed hollowly. 

_ Front row seats. Lovely.  _

On the other side of the glass, ships began pouring out of bays, flooding into space and attacking the fleet rising from the planet surface. You sat and watched their whistled exits as they violently propelled themselves into space and veered off to seek and destroy. Watching them made you want to move away from the window only to run forward and break through, like jumping off a cliff, diving with back arched, arms spread, toes pointed, legs a long line tracing from tip to tip, gliding and slicing through the air. You considered swimming in the silence of cold space, letting yourself get sucked into the reality where the streaking weapons fire were shooting stars and the explosions of the enemy were supernovae. 

You heard and felt him storm in. The chaos and anger sieged the room, and your dream self began drowning in the imaginary streams of space and floated over the edge of a bottomless waterfall - lost to the mist spraying off the bottom of reality. You were unprepared to face him, so you backed yourself up against the window when you turned to him. The cold transferred through your cloak, icing the back of your body as you pressed against it. He was mad. Irritated. His brown eyes were squinted and solidly framed by a furrowed brow. His jaw was tight, and he worked the muscles from side to side as he clenched and unclenched, grinding his back teeth together in an effort to hold it together.

_ Or hold himself back.  _

Kylo advanced, not stopping or acknowledging the death spot. He walked through it carelessly, stalking you at the window. Focused on you, he demanded your eyes, and you had no choice but to give him whatever he wanted. 

_ And always would.  _

Kylo was with you at the window now, forcing his body into your space. His body was his tool of intimidation, hips grinding against yours, forearms flat against the window, falling against you. He pushed off the window with an arm and wrapped it around your hip, using it as leverage to spin you around. You gasped as he twisted you around to face the window. He leaned his body weight into you, hand on the back of your neck holding you to look out the window at the fighting. 

“Look what you’ve accomplished,” his hand clamped down tightly on either side of your neck. Pain bloomed but you held yourself still and refused to squirm for him. “Look what you started.”

His breath was warm and humid on the base of your skull as he let you go. His gloved hand slid around to the front of your neck, stroking the lines of it before unfastening your cloak and sliding it off your shoulders. Instead of the noisy clunks as the metal clasps hit the floor, the quiet rustling of the fabric collapsing off your body pooled between you. Kylo leaned away long enough to pull the cloak from between your bodies and toss it aside. He was back in contact quickly, shifting his stance and moving his feet to either side of yours. 

“This is because of you,” Kylo moved your hair over your shoulders and gathered it at the base of your head. He stroked the loose ponytail lightly and moved it out of his way. “Because they wanted you.”

You sucked in a breath, chest heaving against the window, his body pressing its weight into yours, holding you in place. Kylo nuzzled his scruffy chin into the hollow of your jaw, teasing you with the sensation. You went to swallow, but your mouth got stuck in the act, and you only managed to wet your lips with your tongue. 

“Is this what you wanted, Treasure?” 

You licked your lips again for lack of response and blankly watched the window, seeing the shooting star weapons streaking through the debris field around the planet. Your brain felt like it was being smothered in wet blankets. All you could register was the damp of his breath and tongue on your neck and the sharpness of his canines as he nipped at you. 

You shook your head, refusing to participate and provide a confession. .

“But it’s what you want now,” he urged you to admit to yourself that they had it coming - that they deserved it. 

You thought of Hux, the Ambassador and his successor. They had all deserved something, but you weren’t sure it was war. Kylo spoke again into your ear, urging your name into a whisper, and you rolled your head away from the sound, leaving your neck vulnerable to his attack. Kylo’s mouth dropped to the deserted skin and nipped at it then soothed it with the flat of his tongue. Tongue thick and mind fuzzy, your mouth was as dry as his was wet. The skin he lapped tingled and sprouted goosebumps as he moved across it. Your body rolled in reaction, removing his mouth from you with a subtle, damp pop.

Facing forward, you linked your hands behind your neck, hiding the column under your palms and draping your arm across the front. You watched a pair of TIE fighters bank away off their group and dive sharply only to come back up and start taking out targets like whistling birds arching gracefully as they destroyed the enemy. From where you stood, they were silent in the space they occupied; the beauty in their fight distracting you from the hands on either side of your ribcage, traveling down your torso. 

Kylo squeezed his hands around your waist, bringing your attention back to him. 

_ And only him.  _

He quieted you gently as he dropped his hands lower. Reaching back for him, you unclasped your hands from the back of your neck and let them circle his. You dropped your head back onto his chest, looking up at him, giving him the attention he demanded. You beamed a smile, grateful to touch him for a moment. He looked away from your eyes to your other features. Quieting you again, he plucked the blaster and saber off your hips and threw them to the side carelessly. Their landing was dulled as they landed on the discarded cloak. As they sounded, he removed your hands from around him and gingerly placed your palms back against the cold window. You kept them there as he pulled away. 

“Good girl,” the affirmation warmed and surprised you. You thanked him quietly, determined to keep your hands against the window while he moved his feet from either side of yours. He stepped back, running his hand down the center of your spine as he pulled away, leaving your back open and cold.

You waited, quiet as when he had shushed you and as still as when he had praised you. You refused to look over your shoulder at him, but you dared to catch his reflection in the window, watching him the same way he had watched you demolish Dumbass. 

He either knew you well enough to expect you to do it or he had been hoping you would. The two of you connected eyes through the mirrored image.

Kylo held up a hand, making a show of tugging on the tip of each gloved finger as he pulled it up then slid it off. He repeated the motions on his other hand, stacking the gloves on top of each other and tossing them behind him onto the desk. Holding his hands up, he wiggled his fingers in a tease before putting them on the small of your back. Your breath hissed as his thumbs pressed into either side of your spine, rubbing small circles, steadying himself as he lowered himself and dropped to his knees behind you. 

As he knelt, he used you for support, spreading his fingers to hold you anchored to him. His naked hands left your back and slid down the outside of your hips, over the sides of your knees and down to your ankles. You forgot to breathe as he took hold of the hem of your skirt, and slid it back up your limbs, draping it onto the small of your back. He pressed it into the space to encourage you to arch your back. You did, and he praised you again. 

“Did it feel good?” he asked, one hand still on your back, the other on your hip. Gasping at the mix of sensation, you nodded in agreement. His scruff was rasping against the tender skin of your backside, stark contrast to the smooth velvet of his lips, the rubbery wetness of his tongue, and piercing gnash of his nipping teeth. 

_ Everything feels good.  _

He used the hand on your hip to move you so you were tilted back towards his face. As he rubbed his face and mouth and teeth against you, you spread your legs wider, presenting yourself to him. His hand held you still, but you tested him, fidgeting from side to side on nervous feet, trying to improve his aim and get his lips between yours. 

“You liked it,” his nose pressed against your slit, and arched further towards him. You were rewarded with a soft lick that refused to dip in. 

_ I like this.  _

“You liked letting go,” he spoke into your cunt. His hands let you go and moved to where his mouth was, spreading you open for him to do with what he pleased. It all pleased you; you wanted his mouth warm to replace the cold of the air. 

“You liked letting go.” He repeated himself, demanding truth from you before he gave you what you wanted. 

_ I liked giving what was deserved.  _

He rewarded your honesty with a long, slow lick, his tongue flat and thick in sensation, temptation and heavy in distraction. 

“You liked letting go,” you groaned in agreement, willing to admit to anything for more of him. Another tortuously slow lick that refused to dip or swirl where it needed to: an evil line of uncooperative pleasure.

“Admit it,” he ordered against your skin, satisfying only himself until you gave him what he asked for. 

You would have answered, but you choked on the words, unable to agree with anything other than  _ yes _ . Keeping your hands glued to the window required more attention that you were willing or able to give it, and Kylo’s refusal to let you grind against his face was clenching frustration inside you. 

“I love when you give me what I want,” he rewarded your agreement by fluttering his tongue against your clit and closing his mouth over you. Kylo teased with his tongue on you before dipping inside you. There was no gentle teasing at your wet entrance. His tongue fucked you while he sucked your cunt. The affirmations he poured into your head were the only thing keeping your hands against that stupid fucking window, and you forgot about the blood spilling into space on the other side of it. When he paused to come up for air, you mewled in protest. He laughed at you, basking in your desperation as you tried to walk your hips back onto his mouth. 

“Do you want more?”

You stood still. He ran his knuckle through the wetness he had smeared around you - a mix of your eager desperation and his spitty control over you. You forgot about breathing and nodded, a groan tearing from your throat, head thrown back, hair dusting across your back as you arched for him. Slowly, he pushed his long finger into you, and you bore down on him, begging for more. 

“Tell me you liked killing him,” he urged you again, curling his finger as he worked it in and out of you. Your toes curled along with it, fingers trying to hold onto the glass as you demanded more, but still, you shook your head in disagreement. 

Kylo stopped immediately, removing all but the tips of his fingers from inside you. 

“Tell me the truth, Treasure,” intent on breaking you, he curled the barely there knuckles into the roof of your walls, stoking and stroking you. You made more useless sounds of protest and tried to move on him, he blocked you, not needing to use anything other than himself to get you to comply. 

“The truth,” he refused to buckle, so you did. You sang your confession on hitched breaths. As you spewed on about how you liked the familiar rage, the atonement of absolution as you made your own justice, the lack of regret at removing someone so horrible, and the pride at his pleasure in you. So you continued to tell him, and he worked you until you came. Kylo refused to stop, getting his own twisted enjoyment from your sensitive reactions. He kept going until you pushed him way, begging that it was too much. You shoved him backwards and moved away from the wall, catching your breath. 

Stepping back with a self-satisfied grin on his face, and Kylo perched on the edge of his desk, arms folded, ankles crossed. 

_ His normal, in control power stance. _

It didn’t matter to you anymore. It wasn’t intimidating. It just  _ was. _ He just  _ was.  _

“What do you want?” Kylo looked at you like the krait dragon that ate the bantha. You relaxed back against the window, still catching your breath after experiencing the overstimulation from him - from the Force - from the day. 

_ Too much.  _

But still, your skin begged for more of him. You felt hot - on fire - standing alert, wanting to be touched again. Ready for more, you pulled off the rest of your clothes and abandoned them with the others. The fighting behind you continued, framing you in the moment of violence you’d incited, poised for him to worship. 

Reading you, Kylo smirked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before tucking in back under the other. 

“What?” you asked, ready to taste yourself on his tongue. 

“You’d be a lot cuter without the boots,” he inclined his head at your feet, teasing you and testing your patience for him.

Scrunching your nose, you toed them off and half-kicked, half tossed them at him before doing the same rapid firing with your socks, purposefully aiming at him. 

Not a one landed. He flung them away with a lazy flick of the fingers that had been inside you and let his hair fall over his eye. 

You swallowed hard and looked at him sitting there, self assured and self important. He was more than well aware of how much you wanted him; the evidence was scenting his fingers. The desire to suck on them spurred you forward. 

Waiting at his feet, you tapped the side of yours against the edge of his boot to get him to unhook and spread his legs. Humoring you, he did as you asked, and you moved between them. Impulsively, you pushed the hair out of his face and cupped his cheek in your hand for a breath before moving to his chest. You uncrossed his arms for him, pulling them away from his body and wrapping them around you. As he joined his hands around your waist, you draped yours around his neck, pressing your chest against his. Leaning into his body, you nuzzled closer, kissing the corner of his mouth, his jaw, the space between his eyes and hairline, center of his forehead and repeated the same down the other side of his face. 

At the opposite corner of his mouth, you brushed your lips over the center of them, pressing the fullness of your mouth against his. Teasing little kisses with eyes closed, you wound yourself closer to him, sinking your hands into his hair. You scraped your nails along his scalp, and his hands dropped from your waist to your naked ass, pulling you hard against him. He pressed himself into your stomach, and you continued to make love to his mouth, stroking your tongue on his, urging him to give you more of anything he was offering. 

Unwilling to tear your mouth away from the way he tasted, you moved to crawl into his lap to straddle him, but Kylo disagreed with your plan and swung you around, hands still firmly attached to your bottom as he twisted the two of you around until your back was laid flat against the cold, grey desktop. 

Not phased or thrown off, you pulled his mouth back down to yours and wrapped your legs around his waist, linking your ankles and grinding against him. Your hands left his hair and started tugging at his clothes; you whined as you tried to pull them off. 

Abruptly, he stopped moving his mouth against yours and pulled away, grabbing your wrist roughly and yanking your arm backwards. Anger swept across his face as he dug his thumb between the corded tendons of your wrist and used his fingers to bend yours back perpendicular to your hand.

_ What the fuck?! _

“Kylo, let go! That hurts! I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry,” you strung your sentences together, coming off the desk, trying to relieve the unexpected and sudden escalation of pain. 

He glared at you, and you winced at the severity of the eye contact. 

“You don't give orders,” he said simply, as if it explained anything.

You begged him again to let you go because it hurt; he was hurting you - unprovoked. 

“If you ever raise your hand to silence me again….” he didn’t finish the sentence. You understood immediately. 

Swallowing hard, nodded slowly and dramatically in agreement. You opened your mouth to apologize, but you couldn’t speak. You tried to clear your throat, but no sound came out. You said his name, but it went nowhere, trapped in a vacuum of the Force, keeping you silent. 

Still holding your hand in its twisted position, Kylo stood up, pulling you off the desk with him, making you stand chest to chest with him, your naked one against the scratch of his tunic. He snaked his arm behind your back, pulling yours along with it, and when he straightened to his full height, it pulled your twisted arm higher behind you, igniting new pain points. Again you winced, but there was no sound. You considered twisting away from him but decided against it because you were not an idiot. 

Your eyes watered as he held them, waiting for you to acknowledge his power before he let you go. As soon as he did, you grabbed your wrist and held it to your chest, rubbing it and shooting him an angry, pouty look. Still, you managed to hold your tongue. Your mind was harder to control, and you knew you were doing a poor job at concealing your thoughts from him. 

Kylo reached out for your wrist, and you warily let him take your throbbing hand. Unsure of how much to trust him, only that you did to some extent, your brows knit together while you watched him lift the inside of your wrist to his mouth and lay a quiet, smooth kiss on it before rubbing it soothingly. 

“Something you want to say, Treasure?” he continued rubbing your wrist gently, waiting for you to surrender your thoughts instead of making him steal them. 

_ You’re an asshole  _ was what you thought loudly and flatly, giving up any hope that he might not be at some point. He was too unpredictable to trust, but you kept doing it in the tiniest of increments, until you were here - naked against his desk, having just cum on his fingers, trying to protect your body from the man who had done the hurting, but instead you were standing there letting him caress the away the pain he caused. 

_ “ _ No,” was what you actually said. It was far simpler an end to a conversation neither one of you was interested in having, but for different reasons. 

“You’re lying,” he called you out and lowered your wrist from his lips. It dropped between the two of you. 

_ Of course I’m lying. _

_ “ _ No, it’s fine.” feeling too naked and too seen, you pulled your hair over your shoulders so it covered your chest and crossed your arms over them. Your injured wrist screamed at the angle, so you gave it up and untucked your arms, folding your hands in front of you instead. 

“What do you want, Treasure,” he asked again. You looked at his mouth as he spoke, watching his lips move together as he called you by your new name. The corners of his mouth came up in amusement as he said it, and you loved the hint of affection it belied. Watching his mouth, you missed his hands coming up and sweeping your hair behind your back. He only touched your hair; his fingers missing your skin. The sensation made you shiver and drew you in towards him. 

_ I want you to be nice. _

The admission slipped into your mind swiftly then ran right back out. Kylo had no need to know, and he already should. He had no right to your thoughts, but you hoped he knew them without stealing them, so instead you repeated your previous answer. 

_ “ _ Nothing.”

You looked to the floor, feeling like a child being chastised for feeling the wrong way - for blowing things out of proportion and letting your feelings control you. When you bowed your head to avoid his eye contact, your hair fell into your face and you hid in it. Your naked toes with their small toenails were wiggling at you from the floor, trying to be a distraction from the black boots that stepped immediately up to them. Kylo had moved closer, caging your body in against the desk. 

“Do you know what I want?” Kylo ran his hands up your arms, over your shoulders and cupped the sides of your face. He tilted your head up, accepting nothing less than the eye contact he sought. He was earnest, and it felt like you two were on the precipice of that cliff you had been ready to dive off of. The tired wrinkles at the corner of his eyes and the grey bags underneath betrayed his power, and you were looking at the eyes of someone who had died years ago when his uncle tried to kill him. 

You shook your head  _ no,  _ uncomfortable with who you saw in his eyes and how whoever it was only lasted a second before shifting to the cold hardness of The Supreme Leader, then softened to Kylo. The change you only recognized because of the eggshells you’d broken while learning to walk on them. 

_ I don’t know what you think, let alone what you want.  _

His insistence that you knew anything was beyond your comprehension, but he was convinced he knew and that he was right, and you weren’t dead yet, so that was something, right?

_ That had to mean something? _

Kylo gave you the time to run through your thoughts, stroking his thumbs against your cheek, waiting for you to come back to him. Knowing he had your attention back, he brought your head closer to his, moving his mouth beside your ear. You closed your eyes and breathed in his scent, delighting at the knowledge that it was uniquely his and that you found it safe and familiar with few reservations left against your better judgement. His physicality of his nearness was stupifying, and you wanted more of him and less of your own common sense. 

“I want you,” your eyes fluttered as he started speaking, a low gravel rasping inside you, pulling at a hidden center. “I want you against that window and to show them they can't have you _.”  _ He pulled his face away from yours and released the sides of your face. Delayed, your hand went up to hold his against your cheek, but they were already gone, and you were left with fingertips on your own skin. 

“You’re going to keep me?” was what you had heard and begged a clarification as you reached for him, holding onto the fabric of his tunic, tugging it towards you as if it would manifest something more. You looked at your hand grabbing at him, unable to look at his face. 

“Are you going to stay?” there was a warning edge in his voice, but you knew you didn’t need to fear it because you had nowhere else to go and no desire to go without him. Not if he wanted you to stay. 

_ That’s what he is saying, isn’t it? _

With his hands on your hips, and your hands still clinging to him, he spun your bodies so your positions were reversed and slowly and deliberately began stepping you back towards the window again. As your back made contact with the off putting coolness, your hands unclenched at his waist and went around his neck again. 

_ I need more.  _

He let you wrap yourself around him and claim his mouth, but made no effort to return the embrace. Your kiss plied his mouth for more, and you pled for him to return it. As you pulled away, his bottom lip was tugged between your teeth, trying to instigate something he wouldn’t give. He was slack mouthed with hands against the window as he towered over you; you were untouched.

“Keep me,” you admitted, giving in to the question he had been asking. You didn’t want to run from him anymore. You were his treasure, and he was your galaxy. The two were not to be separated. 

Sensing the change in you, he shifted. His loose mouth went hard and flat; his corners of his eyes tensed and brows turned down. You wanted to kiss the strangled twitches of his jaw, but knew better than to try to touch him now. There was only so much  _ nice _ he could take before being  _ mean _ , and this was it. 

_ I understand.  _

He moved quickly, growling into your ear as he spun you around, pressing your face and chest into the window and pulling your hips back towards his. 

“Leave it alone,” he ordered gruffly. He kicked between your feet to get you to spread them. Breathing hitched, you did whatever he ordered without question. You heard him shuck his clothes and drop them on top of yours. Then came his boots. He mocked you by whipping you lightly with his socks. 

_ Blind trust.  _

“Tell me,” his voice was rough, and he gave his demands as the Supreme Leader. Kylo was gone to you in this moment. You closed your eyes against the violence you knew was coming, knowing it was your penance for the softness he had shown.

Your attention was drawn back to him as you heard him spit into his hand. You felt the rush of hair on your lower back as it whipped past his hand and delivered wetness onto his fingers. Even knowing what was coming, you were unable to stop flinching as he rubbed his fingers against you roughly. He shushed you, softening his touch as he twirled slow circles around your clit, only nearly stroking it. You mewled against him, knowing he wanted you to try to move towards him, but the feeling of the Force bondage settled in your joints like electricity and you knew it would just torture you to be unable to get what you needed. You also knew what he wanted, so you strained against it to beg for more contact. You went to speak, but your voice had been robbed from you again. He silenced you like you had silenced him earlier. 

“Shhhhh,” he calmed you as he petted you. “Tell me,” he urged, pumping his finger into you once then moving back to your clit. 

Your eyes went unfocused, and you looked out the window at the ballet of battle still going on. Ships were continuing to come from the surface, but an endless supply of First Order vessels outnumbered and outgunned them. There was no sound in space, so only Kylo’s breath and voice in your head provided an awkward soundtrack to the dance of lasers and explosions. 

Behind you, you heard him spit again. Into your head, he poured his view. You saw him rub the wetness over the angry tip of his cock as he fisted it, pumping lewdly a couple times before moving his gaze to your open cunt. You saw your reaction to him as you tried to clench around nothing. He poured affirmations into your head as you saw him draw his swollen head against your desperate opening. You closed your eyes against the image and overwhelming sensation of pleasure as he slid inside of you.

You inhaled sharply as he stretched you, holding himself back, sitting just inside you. You whined, trying to get more, but he held the both of you steady. 

_ What color is your saber _ , he asked into your head. 

“What?” he gave your voice back to answer, and you tried to jerk your head over your shoulder to question the hard left turn of subject. You were unsuccessful; he held you still.

The slap rang out loudly in your ears before you felt the blooming impact that constricted your throat in pain. You tried to shift on your feet to writhe it out, but he refused you that too, and you stood invisibly bound, pressed against the cold window that now framed your violence

You realized he was waiting for an answer. Before he could deliver another slap, you did. 

“Red. It’s red,” confused as to the importance of the question, you blew out a low breath, channeling the pain into it.

_.  _

_ Good girl _ . You were rewarded with another warm inch sliding into you, and you balked at the welcome intrusion distracting you from your glowing backside. 

_ Who started this?  _

He was referring to the outside battle. You watched cannons fire, ships exploding, and dramatic aerials of domination from the First Order against the feeble and foolish attempts of Krelik. You thought back to the beginning. You saw Hux in your head, storming into your home - the temple - being called forward and sold to him in exchange for peace. Angry spit pooled under your tongue. 

“Hux did,” you spat his name out and swallowed away the image of him in your head. 

Another slap on top of the reddened outline of the first. To add insult to injury, Kylo pulled out what he had just fed into you. 

“I did!” you accepted he held you responsible, and admitted what you didn’t agree with but didn’t care enough to fight about. The outcome was the same. 

He shushed you quietly, rubbing your red cheeks and sinking back into you where he was before. You clenched around him, trying to plant yourself onto him. 

_ Who do you serve? _

_ No one. _

You answer was involuntary, and spewed out as he slapped you again. Rapid fire as you denied him. . 

_ No one, The Order of Te Ka. The First Order.  _

Pain continued to rain down on your cheeks, and you were powerless to move away, so you fed your worthless rebellion into your words for as long as you could stand it. You both needed the fight. Instead of physically breaking, your spirit did and you admitted what neither one of you had spoken. He had demanded it all along, but you had refused until now. You had murdered for the man beating you, but there was nothing tying you to each other. 

_ You. I serve you. It’s only you.  _

You hung your head, ashamed of your admission. Tears stung your eyes, and you weren’t sure if they had sprouted from the pain in your skin or your head. His hands stopped, and you sagged against the window, grateful for the coolness of space pressing in from the other side. 

_ You wanted to kill him didn’t you. _

“Yes _ ,” _ you gave up your answer without a second thought, staring through the window blankly. He had deserved it. 

_ Good girl. _

Kylo’s hand ran down your hair spread across your back and praised you while sliding deeper into you. You whimpered at the lightness of his touch against the screaming pain of his blows, and stood still, wanting more but fearing how to get it. You needed him closer. 

_ You enjoyed it. _

There was no question there, and you weren’t sure how to respond so you didn’t, and braced yourself for the smack that didn’t come. 

_ He deserved it.  _

He answered himself, and you sighed as he gave you what you wanted and moved in you again. You were starting to feel a detached frenzy, unable to move and in control of nothing.

_ Who started this, treasure?  _

“I did,” you choked on your answer as your face slid against the window, the wet of your tears making the surface slippery. 

_ Who finished it? _

_ I did. _

You answered him in your mind, another answer that sprang without forethought. The punishment for it was swift as he spanked you again, one after the other, without mercy or pity. You sobbed out a scream as your knees fell out, but no air moved over your vocal cords. You were left open mouthed, yelling silently as he held you up while you cried. 

“I finished it.” He held you there while he bottomed out, thrusting into you as he declared his conclusion. He didn’t comfort you as your body accepted his intrusion, but he let your limbs loose while he supported you up. 

Kylo pressed his body flat against yours, pushing you prone against the window, kissing your temple while he wrapped his arms around you, one sliding around your rib cage, lying cradled in the valley between your breast, and cupping your throat. 

“Who do you belong to?” he begged you as he started to move slowly, keeping your hips pressed against his. His body trapped your hair, and you were stuck and unable to move. Hearing your internal cries at the way his movements pulled at your roots, he did you the kindness of pulling your hair out from between you and dropping it over your shoulder. Acknowledging your tears, he wiped them away and cooed comfort into the back of your head. __

__

The act begged of you to say you belonged to him, but you wanted him to admit it first. 

“Is that really what you want, Treasure?” he whispered the question, and you shook your head. Your bottom still screamed in pain, the heat of his skin searing it raw as he pressed his thighs against you. 

_ “ _ You,” you admitted with the voice he gave you back to answer his question. It came out choked, raspy and dry. You swallowed and wet your lips, tasting the salt there. He rewarded you by sliding into you then removing all but the tip of him. 

_ “You, All I want is you,”  _ you repeated the admission before he could ask for it again. You wanted more of his movement and expected to be rewarded for your words, but you weren’t. Instead he stilled. 

His hands tensed, squeezing at you. You felt his personalities flash, caught off guard by your words, even though he knew to expect them. He had demanded them. 

“You don’t know what that means…” he trailed off as if he was choosing his words carefully. You caught a stutter as he went to speak again.

_ I don’t care.  _

You cut him off with your thoughts. 

“Oh Treasure,” his voice shifted again, this time laced with pity and disgust. “ You really don’t understand. You’re precious.” with that, he withdrew his hands from your neck and grabbed angrily at your hips. 

“You poor girl; you don’t understand,” you cried out as he dug the digits into the socket of your hips, starting to pump into you. He didn’t stop moving as he adjusted his stance, lowering himself and hitting different inside of you. Your confusion was overwhelmed by the sparks of contact togetherness between you. You were on fire for him instantly. He was cool and detached as he fucked you.

“I should have killed you,” you gasped at the vehemence and venom in his voice as much as the ferocity as he drove into you. Your face was flat against the window, sliding in it’s own puddle of salted tears, mouth open, spit pooling. 

“But I wanted to break you…” he trailed off, roaring as he picked up the pace, bottoming out inside of you. You worried about the window cracking and sucking you into your war. 

“All this blood on your hands, Treasure,” you cried as he said it, and tried to pull away from this version of him. You wanted your Kylo back, this hard edge wasn’t who you wanted. You struggled to push off the glass, and were surprised that the force wasn’t holding you there anymore. Kylo’s hand went to the back of your neck and forced you to look out the window at the war he claimed you started. As if on cue, ships exploded, cannons fired from decks below you, and you could hear the imagined screams of devastation of the Kreliki as they died. 

“No, this isn’t on me,” you tried to jerk your head out of his grip, but he was bigger and stronger, and you wound up with your cheek pressed into the wetness of your own creation again. Kylo placed his forearm across your shoulders, holding you down with his own brute force instead of the Force itself. 

“Yes, it is. All of this is. They all died because of you. Everywhere you go, you bring chaos. The harbinger of peace brings war. Everything about you is a fight. You’ve been slicing throats since you were a child, and now those bodies floating out there - you slit theirs too. I saw who you really are. You showed me. You are an Angel of Death. The most deadly Knight of all. You make people fight for you without even knowing what you’re doing,” he spewed at you through his clenched jaw, taking from you what he needed, and you were left to tolerate his misuse of you, angry at him, but more so that the more he used you, the more you enjoyed it. You groaned against his declarations, pushing your hips back against him as he pistoned into you. When he reached around you, shoving his hands between you and the glass to rub your clit while he fucked you raw, you let out a long, throaty curse thanking him. 

. 

You sobbed at him not to stop, accepting this version of him if it meant he allowed you to come on him. 

“You’re a black rain cloud that brings destruction everywhere you go,” you didn’t agree with him, but let him carry on, you had no words to fight him. Instead your mouth hung open in a silent scream as he pushed you towards the edge. 

“Did you know I blew up your little temple? I destroyed it so you can never go back. You’re mine now, Treasure. You and your evil belong to me.”

Drool joined the wet of your tears and fell from your lips, landing on his arm where it was sandwiched between you and the window. You watched like a rag doll as it fell past the short strands of hair and settled on his skin, drizzling down and meandering a path down to his wrist.

“You’re mine. You’re never leaving,” His hand left your clit, and the sudden motion was sharp and you missed the pressure. The empty hawing of need still there as you squeezed around him. He confused you further when he reached up and tugged your face back to his and kissed you passionately, searching your mouth with his tongue. Given what you wanted, you sunk back onto him, moaning into his mouth as you stroked each other’s tongues, tasting each other as lovers did. He pulled away and kissed the side of your mouth, leaving you dizzy and hungry for more. 

“Sweet girl, you’d do anything for a kiss,” he pressed another against your lips, still moving inside of you. You were taught with need, ready to snap. 

“No, I wouldn’t,” you refused his assumption about you, trying to move your mouth away from his to prove your point. 

Refusing your refusal, he pulled out of you roughly, spun to around to face him, and hitched your leg up around his thigh before diving back into you in one swift motion. Your moan of ecstasy was swallowed by another deep kiss. Unwilling to accept less of him, you hopped up, legs wrapped around him, back braced against the window. 

You were close. Lips on his, holding his face, tight little breaths beating into his mouth as you climbed higher with him. 

“Oh god I’m gonna cum, Kylo.I’m gunna,” your orgasm cut you off as your body exploded around him. Your limbs climbed his body, and you demanded he eat your words as you came around him. Overwhelmed, he rutted into you a few more times until you felt him surge and thicken inside of you one last time, filling you with his seed. 

“You’re mine, Treasure,” he whispered against your mouth. He gave you a hard, closed mouth kiss before dropping your legs down and pulling out of you. You sagged against the wall, catching your breath as his sticky cum leaked out of you, trailing down your legs.

Shaken, you didn’t fight his hand on your shoulder pushing you down to your knees, or his fingers opening your jaw. He fed himself into your mouth, using you to clean your mixed juices off his cock. Dutifully and detached, you hollowed your cheeks and let him pump into your mouth. You lathed your tongue against him until he pulled out, satisfied with your clean up job, letting you collapse onto the floor amongst your clothes. You watched him get dressed with glassy eyes. 

“Fix yourself,” he was unfamiliar. “We need to end your war.” 

He didn’t look back as he left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Treasures, this has been an experience to write. I know this chapter is long, and they've been consistently getting long, but I feel like I kind of owed it to you all. I hope you all loved it, and I'd love for you to drop into the comments and let me know if you did<33333


	23. Now What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is what it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: tags updated to reflect (but it will be spoilers)

As you got dressed, you realized the ship was moving away from the planet, the framed view of it slowly zooming out. You bent over to tie your boots, eyes on the carnage outside the window and not on the laces, and wound up losing your balance and falling down. Wincing as you landed on top of the dice in your pocket, you hurriedly tied the bows before scrambling to your feet and rushing out into the controlled bustle of the bridge. 

You looked around the room, turning clockwise to cover it all, looking for Kylo. To the left was the big, wide window that showcased Krelik and all its destruction. There were officers and troopers everywhere, but they were all relegated to their designated places. Each one knew their role and played it appropriately. They stood guard at their consoles, working independently at their individual tasks - little cogs turning in the big machine of the ship. Turning your head to the right, more of the same little grey and white worker bees buzzing around the cold, grey stations with flashing lights and intercoms and so many punchy little buttons.. At the center of it all stood Kylo and his men. 

Squaring your shoulders, you looked over your shoulder at the planet one last time before gathering your strength and wit and heading over to the man who held the answers. 

“What is going on?. Why are we leaving; we’re still fighting?”

You were ignored. A few brave officers looked up at you, but quickly darted their eyes away instead of answering. You sighed and dragged your hand through your hair, an act you hadn’t done in years. As your fingers slid through your hair, you realized how long it had been since you’d been allowed your hair down. You repeated the action again, focusing on the delight of the strands slipping through your grasp.

“Hey, don’t we have to take the planet and send down troopers and take over? Why are we retreating?”

Positioning yourself closer to him, you reached out your hand to touch his arm, but the Supreme Leader shifted, giving you his back, effectively dismissing you. You snatched your hand back to your chest and looked to the high ranking generals around him. None of them acknowledged you; they followed their Commander’s lead in ignoring you. 

Someone nearby cleared their throat, waiting for your attention. Your focus snapped to them. An officer standing in wait off to the side of the War Table motioned for you to come over so you walked the few steps to join them. 

They seemed too young for the stripes on their shoulder, but maybe they just had a young face? Regardless of the rosy, round cheeks, the grey of the Order’s uniform sallowed them and put shadows underneath their eyes. You saw the pity in them and hardened your gaze, daring them to feel sorry for you. They cleared their throat awkwardly again, softer this time, acting as an apology for their assumptions. 

_ Does everyone here feel sorry for me? _

“That’s a waste of resources, ma’am. We are arming the lasers.”

You were lost in your thoughts and didn't hear them. You asked them to repeat himself, and they did. 

“Ok so what’s that mean?” you were hearing the words, but they weren’t registering. 

You fixed your eyes on the side of Kylo’s face, studying his profile, daring him to look over at you as you waited for an answer. You tried to will him to look over or shoot you a sidelong glance or raise an eyebrow or respond to you in any way, but he didn’t. He kept his focus on whatever he was planning with his men. After a few seconds you gave up and turned back to the officer who hadn’t responded either. 

They at least had the decency to look uncomfortable. 

Growing impatient and more than a little frustrated by the lack of anyone answering your questions, you huffed and went to cross your hands over your chest. You cursed louder than intended when the pain rang out in your wrist again. You gave up and dropped your arms. 

“What does that mean?” it was your turn to repeat yourself, although this time you lowered your voice and softened it enough to spur an answer. The Officer looked nervously over at the table of their superiors then back at you, licking their lips nervously as they answered.

“We take out the entire planet.”

_ Take out the -  _

“I’m sorry. But by ‘take out the entire planet’ you mean?” 

You watched impatiently as they stumbled for an answer, mouth opening and closing a couple times before they gave up and pantomimed an explosion, complete with sound effects. 

Horrified, your jaw dropped, and the officer quickly flattened their mouth and put their hands behind their back, dropping their eyes to the floor. 

“Kriff almighty. Why?” you looked around for an answer. Your only friend, Mr. Officer, was now refusing to look at you - along with everyone else. You were talking to yourself. “That’s …. there are innocent people down there. They had nothing to do with this” you kept searching the room for an ally, but found none. 

Your eyes settled on Kylo, and you went over to the table to interrupt. Pleading his name, you put your hand on his arm, squeezing lightly to show your earnestness. Underneath your hand, you felt his muscles tense. As you watched him look down at your arm, you rubbed your thumb along the curve of his muscled forearm. He watched it move along its path for a moment before placing his hand on top of yours. You felt hope spark in your chest for a moment as his hand settled, but it was doused when he plucked his fingers from around him and dropped your hand away. 

Undeterred, you tried again.

“Kylo, please.” You tugged on his shirtsleeves like a child. Around the table, the group stopped and grew silent. You’d forgotten you weren’t dealing with Kylo. He wasn’t him in this role. Regretting your choices, you gulped apprehensively as you saw how uncomfortable the other people around the table looked. Slapping into you, the order rolled through Kylo and into your head.

_ Stop _ .

Furrowing your brow, his order only demanded you continue until you were heard, regardless of the danger to yourself. You kept the innocent in mind and continued on, pressing your luck. Sidestepping him until you had forced yourself in front of him, you slid into the space between his body and the table. His eyebrow shot up, but he didn’t give you any more room so you stayed squished against the edge of the table. Squirming, you wiggled around to get him to back up so you could get the edge of the table out of yours. 

Kylo was unamused. His face was blank and flat, but his eyes were deep and angry. The tick of his jaw as he took a step back to accommodate your invasion was a warning you chose to ignore out of spite. He’d ignored you first, but you felt he owed it to you after what he just put you through. As you moved into the space he vacated for you, you put your hand back on his forearm, silently asking for his attention again. He shot a pained look over your head at his generals - but in commiseration - not apology. After dropping his angry scowl to focus on you, you swallowed thickly and slid your hand off of him. The touch was too intimate for the seething anger that threatened to throw you across the table.

_ Any other man would be dead.  _

You winced and worried your fingertips in little star patterns as you picked at the sides of your nails, looking down at them twisting, regretting testing him now - and before - and knowing you would do it in the future. 

His voice in your head had you remembering when he had thrown the room at you. This seemed safer but less likely to end well. You felt the hidden and covert stares of his cohorts, waiting to see what would happen when you - his beloved Treasure - tested him in front of others. They were all looking to have their opinions confirmed. 

Your voice cracked and you whispered as you spoke, betrayed by your inability to sustain the bravado.

“Why do you have to blow them up? Don’t do it. Please?” 

You shrank smaller into yourself as Kylo expanded his powerful presence with his measured, calm, steady breaths. You regretted this, but the small pieces of goodness you'd spent years chasing and hoarding as you ran through the galaxy demanded you press him for peace - or pity. You began praying into the palms of your hands, letting them fall open and asking into them  again softly. You closed your eyes to block out the impending doom of his personality. 

You felt the surge of his violence crash over you before his hand shot out and choked you. 

_ This is different.  _

Your eyes shot open as his grip tightened, his strength independent from the Force. His own manifested physicality. His brute strength pulsed his fingers around your neck, blocking off blood and oxygen. He was no longer harmless in his intimidation. As he held you trapped into his locked fist, fingers spanning across the arch of your neck, you raised up on your tiptoes, hoping to relieve some of the panic. 

Kylo paused, watching your face change colors before brushing the back of his fingers against your cheek, pushing your hair out of your face. Eyes fading, you squeezed your hands around his as he choked you. Your tongue was thick, and you focused on how it fit in your mouth as you tried to swallow. You didn’t bother to try to slap his hands away - just waited for him to release you. There would be no convincing him. To let you go or to save the planet. 

Stinging tears burned your eyes while your body responded to the oxygen deprivation. Once the drops had wandered far enough down your cheek to spill onto the dark leather of his gloves, he spun you around, walking you backwards, hovering your feet over the ground just high enough that your toes kicked back, scuffing along the dull, grey floor. 

Yet still, you forced your eyes to hold his even as the edges of his face grew fuzzy. Even as you recognized the buzzing whir of the office doors sliding open and closed. Even as your feet were dropped firmly onto the floor. Even as he loosened his grip, and you fell forward into his chest, gasping for air, choking and coughing. Even as his hand came back towards you. He lifted your chin softly to inspect the damage he’d done with the same hand. You sucked in mouthfuls of air, chest heaving against his. He clucked his tongue at the red ribbons of angry flesh he found, as if he wasn’t responsible for putting them there. You controlled your trembling lip. When that failed, you bit into it to keep it from quivering, but your angry eyes were red rimmed to match your pink neck and filled with proof of your humiliation. Kylo shushed you as he brought your hair forward from behind your face and arranged it to hide the proof of his temper. 

“Treasure,” he said your name softly but you knew the tone was a command to give him eye contact, so you did. The movement jarred a tear loose, and Kylo cradled your head in his hands and kissed the salty wet it left on your cheek before it rolled off the edge of your cheek and fell onto your cloak

“I will end this how I see fit,” the low threat in his voice had you wanting to lean away from him, but he refused your want, sliding his hands off your cheek, over your shoulders and wrapping his arms around your cold, unsure body, cradling you to his chest. 

Sighing, you fell forward into his arms again, pulling your own up to be pinned before your bodies. He tucked your head under his chin and slid his joined hands down to rest in the small of your back. Sniffling, you rubbed your face into his sternum, smearing the tears away. You felt his hand on your back starting to move; he ran his hand up and down your spine. The intimacy it alluded to would have made you relax into him, but his touch felt like fingers dancing around a detonator, and you were waiting for the next explosion. 

“You think too much,” he was inside your head, listening to you question him and his intentions. 

You began apologizing, not even sure why you were, but it felt expected, and you  _ were _ sorry you were in this position. He hushed you, edge on the hissed sound stripping comfort away. 

“I told you, I will end this as I see fit.” You felt his jaw moving on top of your head as he spoke, his chin digging into the top of your skull. Sensing your discomfort, he shifted to rest his cheek against you.. 

“But I didn’t do anything….” you tried to feebly convince his breast bone that you had nothing to do with any of this - that you were just a pawn. 

“The pawn is the most powerful player on the board - except the queen,” he pulled back, moving his hands to your upper arms and holding you to look in his eyes. You blinked slowly. “-and she can become one.” You nodded at him, not understanding, but you knew he knew that. His hard face softened and fell, and he sighed, tucking you back against his chest and holding you again. 

“You aren’t alive for your brilliant military mind.”

“Pity,” you echoed. At this point, you felt sorry for yourself, and it hurt when you swallowed or moved your wrist just so. He clucked his tongue at you and nuzzled your hair, speaking into it. 

“Remember, you are alone. I am the only one you have, and if you run, I will find you.”

Cringing, you remembered his confession: he had destroyed the temple. He had destroyed The Order of Te’Ka. A few steps behind you, he had destroyed Hux. In your room, he had destroyed the Ambassador. Down the hall, he had driven you to destroy the Deputy Ambassador. You rubbed your nose as your hair tickled your face, and you admitted he had destroyed your purpose. You could feel him leaning into your thoughts; he had destroyed your privacy. You sighed heavily. 

“You know why I call you ‘Treasure’.”

You nodded into his chest again. He was silent, and you realized he was waiting for an audible answer. 

“Because you cannot separate the treasure of the galaxy from her people.” You breathed it out without the rebellion of a revolution, your white flag flying against his red. Your forehead flat against his chest, your fists were clutching into his tunic, and you rubbed the fabric between your fingers, letting the textured lines overwhelm the buzzing chaos in your head. 

“I will kill you before I let you leave,” he kissed your head and pulled you back to look at you again. He held you at arms length, the corner of his mouth ticking up in an unsure and supposed-to-be-reassuring smile. “And if you ever disrespect me again the way you just did, I will sever your hands from your body and take the tongue from your mouth so you can never do it again”

You swallowed and struggled to hold in a cough. You did, just barely, and searched his face for a clue on whether he meant it or not. The smile creeping across his scarred face was a beautiful indicator that he was telling the truth, but still - you hoped. The two of you stood apart, his hands on your arms, your hair hiding the outline of his hand on your tender neck. His hazel eyes had their big, black pupils blown, and you were sucked into them to die.

_   
_ _ Like falling into a sarlac pit.  _

“You’re being mean,” you sucked back a sniffle. The emptiness of his eyes panicking you. “I did what you said,” your breath was hitching at erratic, and you struggled to bypass the frantic. “You were mean, and now you’re supposed to be nice.” your voice broke at the end, but you still held your eyes to his. 

He blinked slowly as he responded. 

“I told you I wasn’t nice” he pulled you back to his arms again. You were getting tired of this dance, but you had both figured out your desperation for his approval made you tolerant. You accept it as easily as you had before. Besides, you liked how you fit right there, circled inside his arms, where the only thing that could hurt you was him, and you would trade his violence for his kindness willingly. 

_ “You’d do anything for a kiss.” _

As you stood there with him, you assured him that he was nice, indeed, as he hushed you and stroked your hair, his amused chuckle rumbling against both of you. 

“Affection assures compliance,” he spoke absentmindedly into your hair again 

You repeat the strange phrase over. Once. Twice. And then you were shoving off his chest. 

“What?” the change in you was instant. ”What did you say?” you narrowed your eyes at him, daring him to repeat himself, and as he stayed silent, refusing to, the familiar buzzing of bees in your chest began roaring. 

“Say it again.” You stepped backwards and away from him, moving towards the window wall. 

_ Another wall he’d fucked you against.  _

“Come here,” he tried to issue you an order, but you shook your head, walking backwards, stopping when your extended hands hit the cold pane. You braced against it, chest heaving. 

_ Son of a - _

“No,” you shook your head. “Not until you say it again.” 

As you turned the revelation over in your head, the anger turned to revulsion, and you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, trying to remove any touch of his lips. There were too many for the back of your hand, so you started swiping at them with the heel of your palm before giving up and spitting on the floor. 

He rolled his eyes at your disdain, and twisted his hand through the air, plucking your body off the wall and zooming it over to him, an unnecessary show of Force and control. He took the easy way out to avoid his own confession. 

As you slammed into the air in front of him, you felt your ball of bees snap, and the grey of the room turned red. The buzzing surrounded you, and you shrugged his grip off. The buzzing turned to whispers, and your joints ached with the need to strike out and move. Your tongue was light and ready to cut, and it felt like flames were licking at your body, dancing off your skin to burn him alive as penance for the sins he had committed against The Galaxy to whom you belonged. 

He was unafraid of the change and seemed excited by it. He urged you to continue to let it surge - to let go. You briefly considered his saber, but force inside of you rejected that idea and your words were weaponized instead. 

“You’re a fucking coward, Ben Solo, just like your father and just like your uncle. You are a puppet without a master, and now you try to do the same to me what was done to you.”

Your voice felt fuller and heavier with the force of the dark side amplifying it.

A brief moment of concern flashed across his face as his brows dipped. 

“A line of weaklings, suffering from their emotions for suffering’s sake. You’ve all chosen martyrdom because you were all too pathetic to stand for yourself.”

You stepped into his space, reaching up on your toes, steading yourself on his shoulder. Your words echoed in a menacing, echoing lower harmony, filling the room.

“You let her die and traded her life for yours, just like Vader did,” each word against his ear was a broken oath. Your tongue stuck to the inside of your mouth as you spoke, and the words flooded in from the great red abyss in your head. 

You kissed the flat plane of his temple and lowered yourself back onto the balls of your feet. Stepping back, you swept your hair off your neck, flaunting your wounds. 

“You think your strength is your ability to bring death, but it’s just their victorious escape from you.”

You raised an eyebrow, taunting him as he fisted his hands. Your death flashed in his eyes, but the voices from the Red assured you that he wouldn’t because then it would mean you were right, and if you were right - you’d won. 

You stood squared off with Kylo Ren, encouraged by the way his breath had sped up, He was enraged. You waited, fueled by the Dark side, overruled by its presence. 

When he backhanded you, he did it hard enough to strip your new dark side power away. The fragile cage of borrowed strength around you shattered as you hit the ground. He grabbed you by your hair, pulling you up, absorbing any control that you had foolishly believed you held. You kicked and screamed against him, struggling to get away.

“I hate you! I hate you for involving me in this” This was your plan all along, wasn’t it? Just to drag me into your world of evil and anger and Sith. I don’t want it! I don’t want any of it. I don’t want to be the reason people die!”

You stumbled as he let go of you and threw you towards the door. Neither of you cared that everyone outside of this room was hearing every word. Not one came to help when you’d cried, and you knew none would if you kept screaming. 

Kylo had lost his patience and raised his hand to hit you again. You flinched and cowered, holding your hands above your head as you dropped into a crouch to protect yourself.

“They already have. Now it’s time to finish it.” Instead of hitting you, he raised his boot and kicked at you, toppling you over. You skidded backwards across the shiny, slick floor with the force of it.

You scrambled to your feet, still not ready. 

“No!” you screamed at him, arms straight back, not realizing you were crying as you tantrum. “I don’t want to. I didn’t do anything! I don’t even want to be here!” a fit of coughing doubled you over. Your face and side throbbed, and your wrist felt fractured - if not broken - from the way you’d landed on it when he kicked you. You cradled it as you coughed into your first, remembering too late to keep your eyes on him. 

His hands were back in your hair, grabbing from the base of your neck, forcing your neck to strain to look at him. You untwisted your body and punched at his hands to get him to release you, but it was a useless result of your panic. You cried and begged for him to let you go, but he refused, and maintained the painful, forced eye contact as he spoke down to you.

“I should have killed you and blown that planet up the moment I saw you. They’re right. You’re ignorant. So narrow minded and naïve that you thought this would end in any other way?” He spoke his insult against your lips, brushing his against your as he formed the words. You sobbed as he kissed the side of your mouth, a breathy pass of skin against each other. 

“Would you like to die with them?”

You shook your head no as best you could with him controlling your movements.

_ Everything hurts.  _

With that, he put you down, gently untangling his leathered fist from your hair, but still, strands were pulled and broken as he let your body stand on its own. Flinching, you sucked in your breath and held it as he reached down and took your saber and blaster off you. 

“Let’s go.”

You’d forgotten they’d been there. You’d missed your chance, so you just nodded my head and tried to stop sniveling. 

Kylo glared down at you for a moment. You made yourself hold your eyes open, and watched his eyes change from black to hazel to a muddy mix in between. You weren’t sure how far to trust him, but as he wiped your tears with his thumbs, you exhaled heavily, letting yourself fall into his body instead of holding yourself separate from it even though you stood together. Residual tears fell, and you felt him push his way into your brain and erase the physical pain that threatened to collapse you into a cross eyed puddle on the floor.

He whispered for you to be quiet, shushing you and wiping your tears with his thumbs until he was convinced he had your attention. You let him hold your head in his hands, and you nuzzled into the wide of his palms as he swiped your wetness away. Salty drops clung to his glove, and you watched him bring his thumb to his mouth and suck the tear away. You swallowed thickly as he spoke. 

“The more you hate me, the more powerful you will become.”

_ I don’t hate you. _

You hated that it was still true. 

_ You will.  _

Neither of you had anything more to say. Kylo took your uninjured hand in his gloved one and guided you out of the room, letting you set the slow pace as he moved you through the bridge to a row of consoles. As you arrived, an officer stood quickly, vacating the seat. Hand still holding yours, he guided you to sit down. 

Your face fell as you realized, and you snapped your gaze back to look at him. Sniffling, you looked at him pleadingly. Beside you, the officer stood at ease, waiting for your attention so they could start walking you through the sequence.

Kylo crouched down next to you, his knees popping loudly as he rested on the balls of his feet. He draped his arm across the back of your chair for balance while he leaned in to speak to you as if you were a petulant child throwing a tantrum and not someone forced to commit genocide because they had been victimized by the wrong person

_ A feeling he should be familiar with.  _

Kylo lifted his hand off the back of the seat and brushed your hair behind your ear. The move appeared familiar and tender, but you knew it was his reminder that he knew you understood, and that you were choosing not to listen. 

“Every time you say no, I will kill one of them.” He pointed his finger around the room, landing on the Officer that you were supposed to be listening to. You were afraid to look at the poor soul so you nodded in agreement, and shoved your hands nervously under your thighs. He said your name again. 

_ A warning.  _

You untucked them and placed them flat onto the top of the console. You stuttered in a shaky breath and held it a moment before clearing your mind and pushing it out with calm and resolve. He stood slowly, towering over you. You felt the tips of his knuckles pressing between your shoulder blades; he kept his hand on the back of the chair and shifted to move behind you. 

“I don’t want to do this….” your voice was shaky and quiet; your gaze glazed over as you looked at the array of buttons in front of you. 

Beside you, the officer who had been waiting for you coughed and cleared their throat. The second time they did it caught your attention and you looked at them over your shoulder. Their eyes were big, mouth open, hands fisted, lips changing color as they slowly suffocated.

“Ok ok ok,” you chanted, wiping your eyes and apologizing to the Officer as Kylo dropped the Force and let them breathe again. The Officer brushed you off casually, taking several deep breaths and shaking off the experience as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. The Officer didn’t skip a beat and started their instruction, pointing at buttons and giving orders to start the final sequence. 

Whatever was being said, the words were lost into the void of your unwillingness to participate. Your stomach rolled as you followed along the best you could, hands shaking as you pressed and twisted when told. The sinking in your stomach echoed the familiar self-consumption of your balls of bees, but this time, it felt like a vacuum, sucking and stealing from you instead of feeding and strengthening. You felt it. You felt it escaping through those knuckles brushing against your back. Grey noises filtered in through around you, and you felt your eyes glaze as you dissociated. 

The hand of your back moved away, and the clarity was instant. The Officer gave his final instruction and stepped back from the console, leaving you to carry out orders. Your hand hovered over the button, steady in the air where it sat for a moment before you spun back in your chair to speak to the Supreme Leader. 

“What about the moon?” your curiosity was bold. Twisted in your chair, you tilted your head and waited for an answer. There was none other than a downturn of brows in the slightest confusion. 

“You said you wanted it.” you reminded him of what you’d been told while on the surface of the planet you were about to decimate. 

“Oh, that?” he waved his hand dismissively through the air. 

You nodded, eyes wide, waiting for his answer. Kylo held his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels twice.

“Did it make you feel important?” 

You blinked a few times in a row, digesting what he had said. 

_ It always takes a moment to register.  _

And when it did, battery acid spit pooled under your tongue. You choked back vomit when your stomach heaved - a result of the sinking confession and realization that,  _ yes, it had. _

“Why - ” you stuttered over your suddenly dry mouth. “- why didn’t you just blow it up before?” You were stalling, but not saying no. You turned around in your seat, facing forward again, and looked at the floating rock ball.

_ Do they all know they’re going to die now? _

“You liked the sunrise.” 

Everything lagged as he put his hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. To anyone else, it would have looked comforting, but Kylo was digging his fingertips into bone, zooming you along back to present with his gift of pain. 

You shrugged him off, brow furrowed, and took a second look at the planet shrouded in shrapnel. The debris field was back lit in the pastel light from the tri-suns as they glowed their saturated colors. You closed your eyes against the tableau, but even in the black of your mind, they painted you pink, purple and yellow. 

You swiped at your face angrily. You’d started crying again. The tears were unexpected but unsurprising, and you kept swatting at them until your hands were too wet and you just held your shirt sleeves under them to catch the tears as they decided to fall. 

“Treasure,” Kylo kneeled down beside you again. 

“I know. I know…” you protested shakily, looking at the patches of soaked fabric at your wrists. You shook your hands out, cringing and stopping abruptly when your wrist ached. You barked out in pain and brought the injured hand to your chest, cradling it a moment before reaching the other one back out to hang in the air above the final button you needed to engage. 

“Treasure,” he threatened your name again. You nodded in acknowledgement, still frozen with your hand against your chest. “Either you hit that button with your hand or I hit it with your face.”

“Help me,” you meekly asked, still as a statue that surrounded The Reflecting Pool. Your sniffling was the only sound between you. You hung your head, defeated but unwilling to admit it. 

The Supreme Leader stood, no longer engaging you. He spoke coolly, punctuating his words with a twist of his fingers, and the Officer began choking again. 

“There is no one to help you.” 

“Please. Don’t make me do it alone.”

_ Desperate.  _

“I won’t absolve you of this.” You heard the Office struggling and slammed your hand down, jerking it away as if it had burned you. You threw yourself out of the chair, turning your back to the sight and wanting to run, but the Supreme Leader grabbed your arm and held you there, forcing you to listen to the sounds of your war being brought to an abrupt and permanent end. 

And you stood, sobbing thickly, a void ripping through your back, carving out it’s path through your spine and obliterating your heart, erupting through your chest, devastating your breath and stealing it as your whole body felt the death of the planet and the people. You stopped breathing, unable to expand your lungs for the long moments of destruction, knees buckling with the rippling of death through the Force. As you tried to sink into the ground, Kylo’s hand held you upright. You realized this  _ feeling -  _ this  _ everything _ was coming from him. And like a split second blip of turmoil on a radar screen, the feeling was gone, and you knew it was over. 

_ It was on your hands.  _

You jerked your arm out of his grip and held your hands out in front of you. You would swear they had been tinted red, and you wiped them angrily on the outside of your thighs, holding them up to the light to inspect them again. They were still red.

_ As they would stay.  _

You forced yourself to stop - to shut it off. You dried your eyes and swept your eyes around the bridge. No one was bothering to hide their stares. You spun in a slow circle. 

_ More of the same.  _

No one was afraid to meet your eyes. You felt ashamed, as if you’d just been hazed by a group you had no desire to join. There was no camaraderie in their gaze. 

_ Only guilt.  _

You spun until Kylo was in front of you. Your mouth was flat and set, and you felt the weight of the bridge crew’s attention on you - not him. They were waiting for your reaction. Kylo raised his eyebrow, daring you to speak, fisting his hands on his hips, stance wide. You scrutinized him, looking him up and down before finding your voice. 

“I should have let you kill me…. “ you spat it with such venom that it surprised you both, The swirling, sick spit was back in your mouth, but now the repulsion was your response to him. You sneered at him in disgust, and as he met your eyes, he pushed into your head. He kept trying to push his way in, but your rage denied him until he stopped trying. You refused him, turning away from him and storming off off the bridge and away from what had happened.

As expected, there was no move made to stop you. 

People flew out of your way as you barreled down the corridors and through the lifts. At some point, the sniffling had started again, and so had the tears. You didn’t bother hiding them or wiping them away. Your pace slowed along the final corridor - his door the last at the end. You hugged your arms around yourself and looked around you, hair whipping around and sticking to your cheeks. 

_ There was nowhere else to go. _

You let your body shake with the impact of it all. 

_ There was nowhere to go but to him.  _

You stumbled through the door, holding your hand to your chest, trying to deepen your breaths and force oxygen into yourself. Instead, they were shallow, and they whistled through you like the TIE fighters had when they careened off the waterfall edge and started shooting. 

_ I understand. _

You hadn’t at the time. But now? You shook your head, without words. You made it to the entryway table and collapsed over it, letting yourself sob on it. 

_...I understand…. _

Your chest opened as you cried, and you slowly caught your breath. You straightened up, and you lost a little more hope when you saw the tabletop was streaked with the teary proof that Kylo had broken you. At the thought of his name, you grabbed the edges of the table and reached for the strength you’d felt when you killed Dumbass and screamed in Kylo’s face. Roaring with effort, you gripped it and spun, throwing it out of your way the best you were capable of. Your wrist screamed along with you.

_ That stupid, fucking table.  _

You screamed into the air again, arms straight, knuckles white. You held it until your throat and lungs were screaming along with you. And then you did it again for good measure because throwing more things and destroying the room would only prove to him that he had the power to control you. It was what he had expected. He had anticipated it all.

_ This was a set up. This was some elaborate set up to make you feel… _

The galaxy froze as you looked up. 

_ The suns were gone.  _

You stopped and rushed to the window, plastering your body, hands and face flat against it. 

_ That manipulative son of a bitch.  _

Your eyes searched for signs of something redeeming in the rubble as you recalled that conversation. 

_ “You’re going to be mean again.” _

His amusement hadn’t been at your boldness. It has been at your cluelessness.

_ I understand. _

The realization was hollow in your belly, and felt like the vacuum of the now empty space outside. You hadn’t understood. He hadn’t corrected you on purpose. He never intended to. Any kindness - wasn’t a kindness. He wasn’t afraid of intimacy or being vulnerable. He was incapable of it, and he’d used yours to ensure your compliance and make you complicit in his plans. 

You gave up your search for hope and banged your head lightly against the window. 

Now you had nowhere to go because you were an extension of his violence.

_ Stuck. _

Resolving yourself to whatever was going to happen, you sighed and shoved your hands in your pocket. Sliding down the window wall, you didn’t bother to fix your skirts. They were bunched under your hips, twisted around your legs. You picked some fuzz off the fabric and flicked it off to the size. You looked at the weave of the dress, then the scrolling of the pedestal stand on the table you’d thrown. You blinked, blankly, as your eyes scanned to  _ the  _ wall. Mouth dry, you licked your lips, embarrassed by what had happened since.

Stretching your legs out, you now tugged at your skirts, making yourself more comfortable as you sat on the floor, waiting for whatever you were waiting for. Habit kicking in, you went to your pocket and fidgeted with your constant companion. Inside your pocket, you absentmindedly scraped your thumb nail against the engravings on the cool, metal surface of your thoroughly disproven lucky charm. 

_ This is it. You don’t separate the treasure of the galaxy from her people.  _

As much as you longed to run, you understood there was nowhere to go, and you were trapped here. Forever. With a man that was never going to be honest, or open, or peaceful. 

_ There would never be peace.  _

So much more killing would happen until enough only what he owned was left. There would only be the First Order across all of the galaxies for as far as one could go. They would just continue to overthrow and usurp until he claimed it all. Or destroyed it all.

_ This was a trap.  _

You took your dice out and dangled them between your fingers, watching them tap together on their thin chain before twisting back on themselves.

_ For the rest of your life.  _

You held the dice in front of you, letting yourself be lulled by the way they twisted back and forth around your fingers. You watched them spinning, and then gave them more momentum with a flick of your finger when they had slowed to a stop. Focusing the dancing die, you looped the visual in your head, refusing to let anyone bypass it.

_ “The luckiest charm a girl can have is one that will get her out of any situation,” you stared down at the connected pair of dice as they sat in their box, unassuming and ordinary.  _

_ “You mean - “ you asked, still holding the box open, afraid to touch them.  _

_ “Yes, I do. When the odds are against you, sometimes all you have is luck.” You watched as she took the box back, plucking it from your hands and dumping the contents into hers. You flinched when the box clamped shut loudly, and she tossed the box carelessly onto her desk. Returning her attention to you, she made a grabbing motion with her hand, and you held your palm open to her. She deposited the dice into your hand and folded your fingers around them.  _

_ “Don’t be so dramatic, girl,” she sighed and took them back from you when you stiffened. “They’re completely harmless. You have to open them.” She held them up, dropping one to hang loosely in the air, and pinched the corner of the other between her fingers. “Like this,” she made a diamond with her fingers, pressing all four corners of the small die at once and twisted it towards her. She raised her eyebrows as she ever so dramatically separated the two halves and showed you the small hollowed out spot in its center. A little white tablet sat nestled, undisturbed until called upon.  _

_ She closed it and handed it back to you, instructing you to try. You fumbled clumsily and failed a few times before accomplishing the goal.  _

_ “What if I can’t get it open?” you asked, scenarios running through your mind.  _

_ “Well, then you aren’t as lucky as you need to be.” And you were dismissed.  _

As you remembered her instructions, you followed them, taking the corners of the die between the thumbs and forefingers of both hands. You pressed down all of the points at once and twisted the die to break it apart. The pill was still there. Moving quickly, you dropped the empty metal cube beside you and pinched the tablet delicately between your fingers. 

Refusing to stop and think about it, you dropped it under your tongue and cleared your mind, sending the message of what you’d done to Kylo Ren. And you waited - staring at the door, watching for it to open, willing his face to be the last thing you saw as you escaped him. Sighing, you closed your eyes, disappointed again by him. 

_ It doesn’t matter any more.  _

And as the ship made its jump to hyperdrive, your body slumped over, mouth framed in foam, absorbing into the grey as you waited for him to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it. I did it. I wrote a fanfic for the first time in.....however long ago 2004 was. Please please please let me know with a comment if you liked it. Thank you so very much for honoring me with your time and support, my darling Treasures. xoxoxo

**Author's Note:**

> I posted it. Man, this was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I appreciate everyone who supported me to write this, and I hope you so love it.


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